As the title says I'm feeling lost in life. I have no excitement toward anything but eating good food. I go to school for Computer Science and work part time. It just feels like groundhog day everyday Go to school, waste time on computer, work out, got to work,study, etc... It seems for most that early 20's are when you are excited about what lies ahead. I always thought that I needed a hobby to make me look forward to everyday, but I don't know what interests me. It also doesn't help that I'm not religious. Religion gives people a moral guide and purpose in life, do this or God will hate you. When you don't believe in God, it's like wow, there really is no point to life, we're just animals. Has anyone been in this situation at a young age and what did you do?
Feeling lost in life
There are a lot of threads similar to this that you should look at.
Balance is one of the most important things in life. That means relationships, self-reflection, work, exercise, fun, and more. Based on what you have said, it seems that you are lacking fun and self-reflection. Try and remember what you used to do as a kid (sports, reading, music) and pick that up again. It will give you joy to reconnect with your childhood self.
Self-reflection means thinking about your character and purpose. You need to create goals (both short and long term) and work towards them. It can be fitness related, career, chasing tail, or whatever. So long as your motivated to take the necessary steps to achieve them. This alone will give you more purpose. Its also important to be open to the possibility of a higher power. This does not mean that you need to believe there is one. Your spiritual beliefs will develop as you age and experience life.
Balance is your foundation. But there is the mental aspect as well. The mind affects your world a whole lot more than most people give it credit for. If you think negative, the world will seem negative. If you think positive, the world will seem positive. Its important to be aware of your thought patterns and know when to shift your focus. This can be developed through meditation, journaling, and other practices. The best one IMO is meditation. This will greatly help you strengthen your brain to battle whatever mental war you may be going through.
All of that being said, I am definitely not the most qualified person to be discussing this, but perhaps it will help.
Balance is one of the most important things in life. That means relationships, self-reflection, work, exercise, fun, and more. Based on what you have said, it seems that you are lacking fun and self-reflection. Try and remember what you used to do as a kid (sports, reading, music) and pick that up again. It will give you joy to reconnect with your childhood self.
Self-reflection means thinking about your character and purpose. You need to create goals (both short and long term) and work towards them. It can be fitness related, career, chasing tail, or whatever. So long as your motivated to take the necessary steps to achieve them. This alone will give you more purpose. Its also important to be open to the possibility of a higher power. This does not mean that you need to believe there is one. Your spiritual beliefs will develop as you age and experience life.
Balance is your foundation. But there is the mental aspect as well. The mind affects your world a whole lot more than most people give it credit for. If you think negative, the world will seem negative. If you think positive, the world will seem positive. Its important to be aware of your thought patterns and know when to shift your focus. This can be developed through meditation, journaling, and other practices. The best one IMO is meditation. This will greatly help you strengthen your brain to battle whatever mental war you may be going through.
All of that being said, I am definitely not the most qualified person to be discussing this, but perhaps it will help.
Every successful person loves the game. The chance to prove his worth, to excel, to win.
It's good that you're studying and working out, but at your age you need to be socializing and hopefully getting laid. Do you have a circle of friends you can hang out with, and do you have a pipeline for meeting girls? People from school or work? If you need to build a circle, then starting a new hobby can be a good way of doing that.
Quote: (10-29-2018 11:18 PM)Thot Leader Wrote:
It's good that you're studying and working out, but at your age you need to be socializing and hopefully getting laid. Do you have a circle of friends you can hang out with, and do you have a pipeline for meeting girls? People from school or work? If you need to build a circle, then starting a new hobby can be a good way of doing that.
Man, college was a huge blast. Besides school and work, I had my scheduled planned around drink specials.
Wed was dollar pitchers.
Thursday was huge. Double shot and pops and then burger and beers at another place.
Friday and Saturday was a toss up.
Sometimes we would get these party balls for the apartment complex we lived in and everyone just partied there. Or a case of 40's. haha Some of those parties ended up in water fights and wet tshirts contests. I had the best nipples.
I made so many cool memories with some lifetime friends. I honestly didn't look to much towards the future besides working on my degree.
Check out the latest joe rogan podcast with Tyson fury and listen to how goal setting has changed his outlook on life.
Sure he’s religious but many of us aren’t. This general nihilism you’re feeling won’t last, but you can’t let it overwhelm you. Go out, meet people, move around. Do stuff.
Sure he’s religious but many of us aren’t. This general nihilism you’re feeling won’t last, but you can’t let it overwhelm you. Go out, meet people, move around. Do stuff.
If you are an independent thinker (which most people aren't), it's natural to feel that way in your early 20's
My advice to you would be to try different jobs, take up one or a few side hustles, travel, talk to and meet different people, and get as broad experience of life as possible
Be as open minded as possible early in life - life should be a bit of a blur at that age
RE interests - You can read as many books as you want, and watch as many videos as you want, but you only really find out what you want to do with your life through real life experience
Also, by the sounds of your post, if you are bored of your routine of school, study and work, and only find joy in eating good food - it sounds like you haven't dealt with a lot of emotional pain or serious responsibility yet
Things like breakups, death, sickness, unemployment, having money or legal issues etc. can change your perspective on life as you get older and make you more grateful and instill greater urgency in you
I know for me, from 25 onwards, life became less of a loosey goose time, and I became an adult from that point on and really took on a lot of responsibility to figure a lot of the 'grown up' aspects of my life out like money, being a good family member and friend, thinking and doing more for society and strangers, caring more about world and social issues etc.
Being an [real] adult is really knowing what you need to do, and just doing it, instead of thinking about doing it, talking about doing it, or avoiding it
But overall -
- try to have some fun and create some memories in your 20's by going out and doing spontaneous and adventurous stuff. You're only in your 20's once
- if you are lost in life, you just need to keep getting up and trying new things until people and things stick.
- understand that life changes as you get older as you experience and deal with more things. This gives you perspective, and ideally narrows down what you want from life and what you want to do
- ultimately, there is no real right way to live life. Everyone is always just making the best guess they can. Everyone has a different path to walk - no two people live the same life or deal with the same experience, challenges and solutions. Remember that.
- Last thing...try to SAVE SOME GOOD MONEY. You'll thank me when you're close to 30
My advice to you would be to try different jobs, take up one or a few side hustles, travel, talk to and meet different people, and get as broad experience of life as possible
Be as open minded as possible early in life - life should be a bit of a blur at that age
RE interests - You can read as many books as you want, and watch as many videos as you want, but you only really find out what you want to do with your life through real life experience
Also, by the sounds of your post, if you are bored of your routine of school, study and work, and only find joy in eating good food - it sounds like you haven't dealt with a lot of emotional pain or serious responsibility yet
Things like breakups, death, sickness, unemployment, having money or legal issues etc. can change your perspective on life as you get older and make you more grateful and instill greater urgency in you
I know for me, from 25 onwards, life became less of a loosey goose time, and I became an adult from that point on and really took on a lot of responsibility to figure a lot of the 'grown up' aspects of my life out like money, being a good family member and friend, thinking and doing more for society and strangers, caring more about world and social issues etc.
Being an [real] adult is really knowing what you need to do, and just doing it, instead of thinking about doing it, talking about doing it, or avoiding it
But overall -
- try to have some fun and create some memories in your 20's by going out and doing spontaneous and adventurous stuff. You're only in your 20's once
- if you are lost in life, you just need to keep getting up and trying new things until people and things stick.
- understand that life changes as you get older as you experience and deal with more things. This gives you perspective, and ideally narrows down what you want from life and what you want to do
- ultimately, there is no real right way to live life. Everyone is always just making the best guess they can. Everyone has a different path to walk - no two people live the same life or deal with the same experience, challenges and solutions. Remember that.
- Last thing...try to SAVE SOME GOOD MONEY. You'll thank me when you're close to 30
I was not like that at a young age, but I’ve gone through it as I’ve gotten older. I wish I would have gone through it when I was younger.
RedBaron gave you some excellent advice. Since you brought up religion, what I would recommend is to not completely shut the door on God or the possible existence of a higher power.
60 minutes did an interview with Tom Brady in 2005 after he had won another superbowl and he gave a surprising response about his success:
BRADY: …There’s times where I’m not the person that I want to be. Why do I have three Super Bowl rings, and still think there’s something greater out there for me? I mean, maybe a lot of people would say, “Hey man, this is what it is.” I reached my goal, my dream, my life. Me, I think: God, it’s gotta be more than this. I mean this can’t be what it’s all cracked up to be. I mean I’ve done it. I’m 27. And what else is there for me?
KROFT: What’s the answer?
BRADY: I wish I knew. I wish I knew…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoHPx5wTnRs
C.S. Lewis wrote “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.”
RedBaron gave you some excellent advice. Since you brought up religion, what I would recommend is to not completely shut the door on God or the possible existence of a higher power.
60 minutes did an interview with Tom Brady in 2005 after he had won another superbowl and he gave a surprising response about his success:
BRADY: …There’s times where I’m not the person that I want to be. Why do I have three Super Bowl rings, and still think there’s something greater out there for me? I mean, maybe a lot of people would say, “Hey man, this is what it is.” I reached my goal, my dream, my life. Me, I think: God, it’s gotta be more than this. I mean this can’t be what it’s all cracked up to be. I mean I’ve done it. I’m 27. And what else is there for me?
KROFT: What’s the answer?
BRADY: I wish I knew. I wish I knew…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoHPx5wTnRs
C.S. Lewis wrote “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.”
^this is a good point. I recently achieved something that has been my life ambition for a while. I’ve been lost in that aspect of my life for a bit because what do you do when you achieve your goal? What happens when you achieve something you worked the last 10 years towards? Then what?
only recently have I come up with the answer, it looks a little like a continuation of the journey but more for the benefit of everyone, not just me, kind of like giving something back.
Luckily I also have other goals and ambitions running parallel to the one I just achieved and so I’ll put my energy that way too.
20s are a difficult time for men. I have no real idea where I was going or what I was actually interested in until my mid 30s hit. Bide your time, it will come.
only recently have I come up with the answer, it looks a little like a continuation of the journey but more for the benefit of everyone, not just me, kind of like giving something back.
Luckily I also have other goals and ambitions running parallel to the one I just achieved and so I’ll put my energy that way too.
20s are a difficult time for men. I have no real idea where I was going or what I was actually interested in until my mid 30s hit. Bide your time, it will come.
Thanks for the advice guys, I set 3 goals for myself to complete a year from now and will make that my motivation
The sooner you accept everything is pointless the sooner you can go on enjoying life.
“What if life doesn’t have meaning?” Some
people waste years asking this. Just accept it doesn’t
Now do whatever you want.
The less you “try to be fulfilled” the more fulfilling a life you’ll have just having fun and hanging out with people you care about
“What if life doesn’t have meaning?” Some
people waste years asking this. Just accept it doesn’t
Now do whatever you want.
The less you “try to be fulfilled” the more fulfilling a life you’ll have just having fun and hanging out with people you care about
Quote: (10-30-2018 04:21 PM)Que enspastic Wrote:
The sooner you accept everything is pointless the sooner you can go on enjoying life.
“What if life doesn’t have meaning?” Some
people waste years asking this. Just accept it doesn’t
Now do whatever you want.
The less you “try to be fulfilled” the more fulfilling a life you’ll have just having fun and hanging out with people you care about
This. Eventually, that big, orange ball in the sky is going to supernova, so no matter what, all we do as a species will amount to fuck all in the end. Life is a fascinating experience, let go, free fall, and lose yourself in your curiosity about the world.
Civilize the mind but make savage the body.
If you are not careful it gets much worse.
You need to get your priorities strait.
1) Health
Your health is everything. Even if your great ambition is to play World of Warcraft all day long. You be better at it when you are fit, have plenty of energy and a sharp mind.
2) Money
Do not be like all those other idiots who waste money on stuff. You should spend it on yourself and on getting expierences in life. A vacation to some exotic country is ten times more valuable than new carpet and a leather couch.
3) Love
Your first priority is to get laid consistently and have abundance. Have sexual adventures. Go after those crazy things you currently believe you can never have. Make porn movie or whatever.
Basically, society will make you have a boring, bland existance where you are going to suffer greatly untill finally you are allowed to die. It is much better to take control yourself and make sure you have a damned good life. On your own conditions.
Society has decided. Go to school. Work for a boss. Be nice to everyone. Buy a house. Buy expensive furniture. Plant a tree. Get a dog. Find a wife. Have 2.1 children. Work. Pay tax. Get pension on 65 or 70 by the time you reach that age. Get shitty elderly care. Pay for your burial and an expensive casket. Die slowly in a hospital and pay the bill in advance.
Society sucks.
Hobbies are stupid. Figure out what you want. Go do that. You probably want to get laid, a lot. Do that. You like beaches? Go to a beach, seduce a chick and fuck.
When you are old and cannot fuck chicks anymore you can always decide that your passion in live is to collect postage stamps.
Religious people are full of shit.
I did nothing. And I regret every single second of it.
Do not waste your youth!!!
Go have fun. Do crazy shit. Get in trouble. Go travel. Fuck some cunts.
Remember that nobody gives a fuck about you.
You need to get your priorities strait.
1) Health
Your health is everything. Even if your great ambition is to play World of Warcraft all day long. You be better at it when you are fit, have plenty of energy and a sharp mind.
2) Money
Do not be like all those other idiots who waste money on stuff. You should spend it on yourself and on getting expierences in life. A vacation to some exotic country is ten times more valuable than new carpet and a leather couch.
3) Love
Your first priority is to get laid consistently and have abundance. Have sexual adventures. Go after those crazy things you currently believe you can never have. Make porn movie or whatever.
Basically, society will make you have a boring, bland existance where you are going to suffer greatly untill finally you are allowed to die. It is much better to take control yourself and make sure you have a damned good life. On your own conditions.
Quote:Quote:
It just feels like groundhog day everyday Go to school, waste time on computer, work out, got to work,study, etc.
Society has decided. Go to school. Work for a boss. Be nice to everyone. Buy a house. Buy expensive furniture. Plant a tree. Get a dog. Find a wife. Have 2.1 children. Work. Pay tax. Get pension on 65 or 70 by the time you reach that age. Get shitty elderly care. Pay for your burial and an expensive casket. Die slowly in a hospital and pay the bill in advance.
Society sucks.
Quote:Quote:
I always thought that I needed a hobby to make me look forward to everyday, but I don't know what interests me.
Hobbies are stupid. Figure out what you want. Go do that. You probably want to get laid, a lot. Do that. You like beaches? Go to a beach, seduce a chick and fuck.
When you are old and cannot fuck chicks anymore you can always decide that your passion in live is to collect postage stamps.
Quote:Quote:
Religion gives people a moral guide and purpose in life, do this or God will hate you.
Religious people are full of shit.
Quote:Quote:
Has anyone been in this situation at a young age and what did you do?
I did nothing. And I regret every single second of it.
Do not waste your youth!!!
Go have fun. Do crazy shit. Get in trouble. Go travel. Fuck some cunts.
Remember that nobody gives a fuck about you.
Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
Quote: (10-31-2018 07:35 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:
If you are not careful it gets much worse.
You need to get your priorities strait.
1) Health
Your health is everything. Even if your great ambition is to play World of Warcraft all day long. You be better at it when you are fit, have plenty of energy and a sharp mind.
2) Money
Do not be like all those other idiots who waste money on stuff. You should spend it on yourself and on getting expierences in life. A vacation to some exotic country is ten times more valuable than new carpet and a leather couch.
3) Love
Your first priority is to get laid consistently and have abundance. Have sexual adventures. Go after those crazy things you currently believe you can never have. Make porn movie or whatever.
Basically, society will make you have a boring, bland existance where you are going to suffer greatly untill finally you are allowed to die. It is much better to take control yourself and make sure you have a damned good life. On your own conditions.
Quote:Quote:
It just feels like groundhog day everyday Go to school, waste time on computer, work out, got to work,study, etc.
Society has decided. Go to school. Work for a boss. Be nice to everyone. Buy a house. Buy expensive furniture. Plant a tree. Get a dog. Find a wife. Have 2.1 children. Work. Pay tax. Get pension on 65 or 70 by the time you reach that age. Get shitty elderly care. Pay for your burial and an expensive casket. Die slowly in a hospital and pay the bill in advance.
Society sucks.
Quote:Quote:
I always thought that I needed a hobby to make me look forward to everyday, but I don't know what interests me.
Hobbies are stupid. Figure out what you want. Go do that. You probably want to get laid, a lot. Do that. You like beaches? Go to a beach, seduce a chick and fuck.
When you are old and cannot fuck chicks anymore you can always decide that your passion in live is to collect postage stamps.
Quote:Quote:
Religion gives people a moral guide and purpose in life, do this or God will hate you.
Religious people are full of shit.
Quote:Quote:
Has anyone been in this situation at a young age and what did you do?
I did nothing. And I regret every single second of it.
Do not waste your youth!!!
Go have fun. Do crazy shit. Get in trouble. Go travel. Fuck some cunts.
Remember that nobody gives a fuck about you.
Exactly the best advice. Dont worry about goals and hobbies just go with the flow and do what fuels your soul. Always follow your gut not others. Society wants to be another gear.
If you dont know what you want maybe its because you already have it.
Remember a time when had blast and figure out what made that so much fun. Try to emulate that same feeling in a different environment.
Try something that is out of your routine or comfortable zone and see how you feel but dont be scared because it will do the opposite.
You got this.
Seek out enjoyment in your life where you find it and make a point of dropping the things that aren't worth it anymore.
Don't do things that you resent, your time is important and there isn't a reason to float through life without a care.
Personally, I found that reading books gave me a lot of peace and helped with the same nihilistic feelings.
I also took up BJJ and found a lot of enjoyment in doing something structured outside of my usual weightlifting routine.
Trying new things and meeting new people is a great way to bring some change to the monotony of life.
These guys telling you to "go with the flow" are right in a way, I believe that you shouldn't have to force things in life.
For you to have a true lasting direction, you need to find what you want to be in life. Not a career or anything like that, but imagine the lifestyle that you can carry out with the least amount of friction and maximum amount of fulfillment.
What hobbies or interests do you have where you can lose yourself in what you are doing? (Find your "flow")
Also, check out some reading on Tao:
http://www.thedailyzen.org/2015/05/27/th...huang-tzu/
Through researching Tao after Roosh mentioned it, I became very interested in the concepts and how they relate to how we see goals and our achievements.
As Chuang Tzu says:
Don't do things that you resent, your time is important and there isn't a reason to float through life without a care.
Personally, I found that reading books gave me a lot of peace and helped with the same nihilistic feelings.
I also took up BJJ and found a lot of enjoyment in doing something structured outside of my usual weightlifting routine.
Trying new things and meeting new people is a great way to bring some change to the monotony of life.
These guys telling you to "go with the flow" are right in a way, I believe that you shouldn't have to force things in life.
For you to have a true lasting direction, you need to find what you want to be in life. Not a career or anything like that, but imagine the lifestyle that you can carry out with the least amount of friction and maximum amount of fulfillment.
What hobbies or interests do you have where you can lose yourself in what you are doing? (Find your "flow")
Also, check out some reading on Tao:
http://www.thedailyzen.org/2015/05/27/th...huang-tzu/
Through researching Tao after Roosh mentioned it, I became very interested in the concepts and how they relate to how we see goals and our achievements.
As Chuang Tzu says:
Quote:Quote:
He who is content with himself
Has done a worthless work.
Achievement is the beginning of failure.
Fame is beginning of disgrace.
Let go of all your addictions, and go on a complete purge; accept the pain that comes. Go on a week long water fast if you must.
Live completely as a minimalist, and you'll find what you truly love.
Live completely as a minimalist, and you'll find what you truly love.
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