Quote: (10-06-2018 11:08 AM)The British Bulldog Wrote:
I've just started university and for fresher night I've been clubbing every night for the past 8 days, as the title reads yes I'm a virgin (20, UK) and I've always been hopeless with girls. The past week I've been able to get make-out sessions with some girls and it's really helped bolster my confidence now I'm feeling sooner or late I'm going to have to learn to close to seal the deal.
It's a pretty small town so hitting the same clubs more or less means I see some of the same girls and build a rapport with them. I'm pretty much going by myself as most of the people in university flats are not interested in gaming or approaching girls. I'm just trying to train myself to approach as many girls as possible and get used to rejections.
I'm thinking I should just keep going out every-night and eventually it should happen and once that happens I can finally say I'm no longer a virgin. I'm enjoying it because my preference is for Asian girls and there are lots of Asian students here.
First off, welcome to the forum.
You'll find all sorts of advice here, some more helpful than others. Not because a lot of people here give bad advice, but rather some people have different goals in life than you and others have a hard time putting themselves into your (Gucci) shoes.
Second, do not be ashamed that you're a virgin. It's normal. It takes a combination of skill, intent, and luck to lose your virginity. Being a virgin does not make you less of a man just like your height 5'7" does not make you less of a man. I'm 5'7" and I'm no virgin, so don't think it'll prevent you from getting some either. I was in your shoes 7 years ago, and I still have a ways to go before I reach my goal. In the beginning, all I wanted was to lose my virginity and then to sleep with as many women as possible to get enough experience that I could consider myself amongst the ranks of 'experienced' men. That's since lost its lustre, but I digress.
My advice to you is several things:
1) If you do go out at night, go out with friends and focus solely on trying to enjoy yourself. If you go to clubs and don't enjoy them, stop going.
2) Figure out what kind of look you want, and slowly build your wardrobe to reflect that. If you feel good because you look good the way you want, it will reflect in your demeanor and how people receive you.
3) Same thing with working out. Either work towards a specific goal or just get a little better shape and definition on you. You'll look better and feel better (and how you comport yourself will be more attractive to women than how you actually look). As long as you're comfortable being naked, you'll be fine.
4) One of the best pieces of advice my brother gave me when I was starting out was to do something I like and invite girls to do it with me. I chose action dates - playing pool, ice skating, kayaking, rock climbing, go karting, you name it. The important thing was that I enjoyed what I was doing and either the girl added to the experience or I enjoyed it enough that I hardly noticed the girl being sub-par.
Girls are simple like children. You don't actually have to plan out elaborate dates or dance like a clown at a club to get them to appreciate your company. Just a little original thought. Even something as simple as going for a walk in the park or having a picnic ("It's a beautiful day, I'm going to have a picnic in the park. Join me.") are great first dates. If you really have to buy the girl something, get her an ice cream cone on a hot day (and take a few bites of her ice cream).
5) If you're starting out, telling if a girl likes you or if you can touch seem like daunting, insurmountable tasks, but they're not. The signs were always there, you were just never taught how to read them. When it comes to touching them, try the "kino ladder", the only piece of PUA advice I still
use.
6) Among the hardest things to figure out is when to kiss the girl, or when she wants to kiss you. I figured it out February 2012 when I was at a midwinter formal dance. I noticed my date was looking me straight in the eyes with a slight smile and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was going in her head. "What the hell is she looking at?" I thought before the lightbulb turned on and I started kissing her.
Don't be afraid to go for the kiss even if you aren't 100% sure. Girls will
respect you more for a miss than never even trying.
7) Remember above all that men and women are different. What men like in women (youth, fertility, pleasantness, gaiety, home-ec skills. resilience) are different from what women like in men (strength, character, self-control, backbone, passion, desire). It's difficult to put one's self into a woman's shoes and you don't have to if you remember that they respond to different things than men respond to. Women may not make sense to you and neither may their actions. But don't ever think they don't act within the bounds of logic. Their logic is different than the one men use. It may not make sense to you, but it makes sense to them as they have different priorities. Women will not love you like you love them. Women's love for men resembles one man's respect for another. Whereas a man's love for a woman resembles a woman's love for her child.
8) Don't work too hard to understand women. Work hard to understand yourself. Figure out who you want to be. Write a list of all the qualities either you don't have but need or all the qualities you have that hold you back from being the man you were born to be. Then take chisel to that virgin block of marble and start chipping away.
Besides. Women understand women and they hate each other.
G
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