[a beer is enough]

Not sure if it is for this forum or maybe another section of it.

I have shared my story on this forum before but for those that don't know, moved to NYC in my early 20s and it was the best decision of my entire life and a total life changer. Moved to an area of the city where tons of fresh out of college kids go and roomed with a couple of cool guys. Given that I had a miserable and lonely college experience on top of the fact that I have a shitty upbringing that was not helpful to game in anyway, it was the biggest life changing experience I have ever had to date.

It wasn't even because of the sex which I got more of than I have at any other point in my life, it had to do with the social life. I had friends to go out to the most fun parties with and events like Halloween and New Year's Eve were as enjoyable as they can get because I had a crew and social circle to enjoy them with on top of meeting new people and women at every event.

I cannot even describe it but it came so naturally to me for the first time in my life. The two roommates I had were awesome but even outside of them I had friends through social activities I did, alumni groups and even a few neighbors. Not only did I have a social life, I had a quality one for once in my life, one that led to me meeting hot girls and having great life experiences.

It almost felt like a bubble of kids fresh out of college wanting to live it up and have fun, almost natural for me to make friends and a lot easier than it was for me in college.

Due to some personal and family related issues, I had to move back home but things are starting to change and early next year I am going to either be looking to a move back to NYC or some major city in the US.

The issue is, by then I will be edging closet to my late 20s and as someone who has not had his fill of enough partying, sleeping around and the fun high life; I want a lot more of it for a few more years.

I start to wonder if moving back to NYC or any major city in my late 20s would still provide the opportunities to meet the same kinds of people, run in some of the same kinds of social circles and have some of the same kinds of fun life experiences.

Any thoughts, experiences and advice?

[Crash_Bandicoot]

@Beer - it seems as though you've posted similar posts in other threads. While this thread is slightly different, there is a common theme and I'll answer your question as concisely as possible:

The opportunities to meet people, be in social circles, have fun, etc will always be there in large American cities. If you have decent social skills, you will easily be able to do all of that. Heck, the other day I joined this salsa class in New York City. They ended up inviting me to come out with them. Bang - new friends. They were people of all ages. They all organize a weekly night out and it was incredibly easy to make friends. There's literally millions of groups in NYC.

I've come to realize that in your 20s (and even 30s), it's not about physical age - it's about your mindset.

If your mindset is that you want to continue expanding your social circle, then you will be able to.
If your mindset is to continue living like a college student, then you will live that way.
If your mindset is to stay in , be frugal, and jack off to porn, then you'll probably not make any friends.
It goes on.
If your mindset is to go out (even if you are completely alone and going solo) and to have fun, then you will have fun. I've been out plenty of times completely solo and the beauty of living in large American cities is that the nightlife is very social (i.e. people interact with each other and talk) and it's very possible to even have fun yourself if you choose to be antisocial too.


Many people don't continue forming new social circles, having fun, etc. not because they aren't able to - rather, it's because their priorities have changed

In another thread you criticised me about how I was complaining about living in New York City.

It's not because I'm tired of banging easy American sluts or because I hate partying. I would love to add another 20+ notches to my belt this year. I fucking love getting shitfaced too. But I've shifted my view on other things in life and people in their upper 20s and 30s tend to do that (building business, going location independent, being healthy, saving money, investing in RE, retirement 401k saving, investing, etc.). However, you can still meet plenty of people in that age bracket or even in the lower age brackets and make plenty of social circles. They may not be directly available to you - but if your mindset is to eventually find a group of social people, then you will find them if you look

[RDF]

It depends on the city.

NYC is NYC, there is truly something for everybody.

In Los Angeles, I go out to bars in my mid20s and tend to feel on the younger side. Plenty of people here party all through their 20s and 30s, and there's scenes for people older than that too. Being a 21/22-year old guy here can actually be a disadvantage, you'll be way too young to step to most chicks beyond just your social circle. San Francisco slants a bit younger but still relatively similar.

In a city like Omaha Nebraska, even though it is reasonably big, the singles/party crowd will thin out dramatically by 30 just because people tend to get hitched and move to the suburbs earlier. This is just an example, I can imagine lots of bigger cities within the central US are like that.

Regardless, to answer the question directly, I think it is best for ppl to move to a big city ASAP. The earlier the better. Not only for the women, but for all of the opportunities in terms of meeting people, networking into jobs, discovering new activities etc. The network effect is real, there is a reason why most of the wealth is generated in cities.

[Jeans]

I believe early 30s may be the best possible time to be a single man in NYC.

But then, I am in my early 30s. Maybe it will only get better

[Heart Break Kid]

I'm a guy in his late 20s who just moved out of the burbs again into a big city - and it is totally worth it to. Late 20s is a great age to be alive, perhaps the best for a man (early 30s is just as good I imagine but a lot of guys let themselves go around this time). You can hangout with any crowd of any age and not really feel that out there. I have friends who are in their early 20s, and even though I might be the old guy it's not like I am the creepy old guy (though there are guys who give off that vibe in their late 20s). You can be the young guy in a crew of people in their mid-late 30s and early 40s, but not so young people treat you are naive to the world. And of course you are perfectly primed for people who are 25-33, which is kinda the age where people are perceived to be in their social primes.

Anyway, it is totally appropriate to enjoy night life and make a ton of friends in your late 20s. You are more smart, more interesting and likely more confident than you were when you were younger, so making meeting people should not be a challenge - it's more like people after college don't have the same drive to meet people rather than they cannot (they tend to hang out with people they know or people who they work with because it is convenient).

Me personally - dating apps obviously help, as you can network through your date or friendzone your date - but you can google events, become a regular at a bar/lounge, google activities/hobbies/sports, use meetup.com to find people, even just randomly talk to people on the street (not like a pick up artist, just say hey, I'm bored y'all wanna hang out? this works really well at night especially in NYC).

People in their early 20s might get overlooked at a lot of these type of events, so being a little older will give you more social advantage, people will just take you more seriously if you're 28 as opposed to 21.

Summarize, don't worry about it, I'm in the same boat and moved back into a big city months ago and the world is pretty much yours. I'm doing a ton of different things that I never had the logistics to do when I was out in the suburbs.

[darlten]

Yeah I'm sort of in a similar situation to the one you were in years ago. I'm 21 and have never been to university. I want to live the most enjoyable life when I'm young and get the most out of it. To do this should I go to university or just live in a big city or travel? I could still go to school in a big city and actually the one with the most students per capita in the world (montreal) a couple other cities I could potentially live in or go to school in. But what would be more enjoyable in your opinion going to university and enjoying university life or just living big city life without going to school or traveling? Basically I'm just wondering what would be more enjoyable and fulfilling to do.

[Fortis]

Delete

[a beer is enough]

Definitely wanted to come in and thank everyone for contributing to this thread, liked your posts, great comments all throughout. Heart Break Kid, awesome post man and happy things are going well for you!

I'd argue with you though, once again coming from someone with a shitty college experience, I often found that college was a lot of tight knit cliques and really Freshers week was the best time to make friends. I found that people in the younger areas of NYC when I was there in my twenties were a lot friendlier than people at my university, maybe the college I went to was that unfriendly. People made friends with you based on how fun you were or how you presented yourself over what fraternity you were in.

It did feel like a bubble in my early 20s, not sure if that feeling will come in my late 20s but I have hope since we are slower to grow up now as a society.

Definitely feel like the odd one out as my social circle grew more after college and I made better friends afterwards. Now I am in flyover country where what you said rings true, if people did not know you by college, you're kind of an outcast.

I do feel like that is what makes some major cities so unique, that you can have some single guy in his 30s who isn't married live it up and potentially make a lot of friends and have a fun time while in flyover country he would be chased out of town. Crossing my fingers that by the time I get to NYC in my late 20s, I won't be the only person in his late 20s who hasn't had enough of his fill of the whole party fun hookup culture lifestyle because going about it alone is rough.