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I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"
#1

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

So quick story about me: 29 year old, 5 lays so far, 1 long term girlfriend between 19-22.

Been somewhat isolated socially for a long time, in my teens I played ALOT of computer games and then later years I worked in a very small village where I almost didnt socialise with anyone my own age.

I joined university again this august, Its in scandinavia so many people are around my own age, thankfully enough, but still plenty of 21 year olds too.

Im good looking, always have been, my facial structure is very good with a cut jaw and all that, ive worked out for many many years so my body is great.

Yet I fuck it up so so much, here in college Ive noticed girls staring at me every time Im out. On the dancefloor they grind on me, when just standing around some girls can come up and chat.

Yet i fuck it up.

Ive been asked 2 times now in just a week, by 2 different girls, why "Im angry", I seem to have a very angry look naturally. Also, at a party yesterday, we asked eachother questions and people had to point at the person they thought it fit the best.

One question was: "Who do u think have had the most sexual partners?", almost every girl pointed at me. Then "who do u think is the hornies person here?", also here, they pointed at me, most of them.

Yet, when In my presence, they become so .. what should I say, "shut off", like they just act a little bitchy and freeze up.


On the dancefloor, when girls grind on me, I just cant take the step to escalate, Its like im trying to protect myself and my own ego from getting rejected, so I dont even try.


My game is not good, my social skills is probably below average for my age and my natural state of mind is kinda .. well, "dull" or so, Im not that happy of a person, I dont smile much and I probably come off as kinda (Very) serious.



Its killing my chanses totally, Its like I have potential, but my worthless game skills fuck everything up.


I still have many years left here, with tons of parties, can anyone here please help me out, what should I think about and how would you go about fixing this?

Shit is tearing me apart.
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#2

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

When girls are in the presence of a strong man, they might seem distant (especially when ovulating).They get glassy eyes and are not really able to communicate.

You have to understand that a horny women will bebave very differently. So if you turn women on, rhey might behave in ways you do not recognize due to lack of experience.

In a club, try putting on a wide fake smile. The whole time. This makes you more approachable. During the actual pickup, it will help.a girl unfreeze.

If i was coaching you I would teach you NOT to escelate. You need to test for compliance instead. You touch and lead a girl and see how she responds. If she responds well (compliant) you know you are doing well. By testing properly you increase the chance of her showing compliance. (It sounds a bit sociopathic, I know)

If she seems to think you are angry, show her pictures of your cat or your grandma. Balance it out by briefly giving her a glimpse of a soft side. Do this about once every hour-90 mins or more if she seems to need it.

Hope this helps.
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#3

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

I would treat "why do you seem angry" as a shit test. Don't grovel and apologize. Don't give her a clear answer, answer in a way that amplifies the issue to crazy levels and hints at some kind of bad boy game or strong emotional currency so she gets mixed up trying to figure out if you were kidding.

"I was thinking about the guy I had to stab in prison."

"My estranged daughter is in Afghanistan."

"My divorce was just finalized. I'm glad it's over, but she still keeps sending me these angry messages every day demanding sex. Move on, you know?"

Then immediately change the subject and turn it into a compliance test, tell her what she's doing next and make it happen. "Try this drink."

If she brings it up later and doesn't realize you were kidding, clown her.

"What? I don't have a daughter, Jesus Christ."

Hidey-ho, RVFerinos!
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#4

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

(Accidental double post.)

Hidey-ho, RVFerinos!
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#5

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

Thanks alot for the help, yeah... I need to start smiling more I think .. Girls behave very weird around me, or well many times atleast. Its like they become very uncomfortable and stifled, like they dont know what to do or say so they freak out if I keep being serious.

A girl I met in a club last weekend here on campus just talked with me on facebook and called me "hunk" LOL, so Im fucking up my potential hardcore ... Im also somewhat social anxious I would say, at least a little bit.
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#6

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

Alcohol doesn´t make you feel more comfortable when you are at a party? I mean, when you drink, it´s easier to overcome that social fear. Then you easily grab some pussy, while at a party.

I am that kind of guy, who has been asked why I am angry very often.
Few months ago I started to work as manager in shop. During my first weeks my colleagues were joking, that if they were customers and met me in the shop, they would run away, because I look like I want to kill them.
And one of the main rules of the company is "kindness". Smiling and looking into customers eyes is actually called "SUPER RULE".

I must say, that working in this shop helped me a lot. Because everytime I start to talk to someone or I am asked by someone, the first thing I do is smile. I also try a lot to keep "positive" look when I am around people/customers.

I have also been putting myself down. I would say I´m also good handsome it comes to looks. I have been working out since I was 14 and have very masculline look. I have been aproached by women, but I was always putting myself down in my mind. I know it´s easy to say this and difficult to do, but try to change your mindset. It doesn´t happen from day to day, but you should always rely on high status you look gives you (and it´s enormously big advantage).

Take other people as some kind of entities you can experiment on. Try different social situations and different approaches and see how people react.

Just do it, do everything to get out of the comfort zone. Fight it. Nothing can change the situation, only you can.

"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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#7

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

I think it's your social anxiety that makes you come across as really tense. Work on that instead of thinking of getting laid. It might seem counterintuitive, but "I need to get laid" is one of the most counterproductive thoughts you could have.
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#8

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

Quote: (09-13-2018 12:57 PM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  

Alcohol doesn´t make you feel more comfortable when you are at a party? I mean, when you drink, it´s easier to overcome that social fear. Then you easily grab some pussy, while at a party.

I am that kind of guy, who has been asked why I am angry very often.
Few months ago I started to work as manager in shop. During my first weeks my colleagues were joking, that if they were customers and met me in the shop, they would run away, because I look like I want to kill them.
And one of the main rules of the company is "kindness". Smiling and looking into customers eyes is actually called "SUPER RULE".

I must say, that working in this shop helped me a lot. Because everytime I start to talk to someone or I am asked by someone, the first thing I do is smile. I also try a lot to keep "positive" look when I am around people/customers.

I have also been putting myself down. I would say I´m also good handsome it comes to looks. I have been working out since I was 14 and have very masculline look. I have been aproached by women, but I was always putting myself down in my mind. I know it´s easy to say this and difficult to do, but try to change your mindset. It doesn´t happen from day to day, but you should always rely on high status you look gives you (and it´s enormously big advantage).

Take other people as some kind of entities you can experiment on. Try different social situations and different approaches and see how people react.

Just do it, do everything to get out of the comfort zone. Fight it. Nothing can change the situation, only you can.

Thanks for your reply. Yep, thats it, I constantly put myself down in my own mind and my self esteem is in the gutter, grew up without a father figure and I dont have many friends at all.

I feel like some weird hybrid, externally I look like a good looking "player" but inside I feel like an insecure kid, its a very very weird feeling.
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#9

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

Try Martial Arts or Boxing.
What's about hobbies> Have you got any where you have to challenge yourself?
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#10

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

Quote: (09-14-2018 07:11 AM)Pytonga Wrote:  

Try Martial Arts or Boxing.
What's about hobbies> Have you got any where you have to challenge yourself?

My only hobby is going to the gym really ..
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#11

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

"Yep, thats it, I constantly put myself down in my own mind and my self esteem is in the gutter, grew up without a father figure and I dont have many friends at all. "

Try something that takes you out of your comfort zone.

I've done skydiving and it was like WOW - I can do it and this feeling like my life is in my own hands - I am my own master.

Boxing - you learn how to fight - you get some beating but it makes you stronger and you start to believe in yourself. I can do it.

first Think about yourself - how to improve and not how to get laid. it will come soon after.

my social skills is probably below average - try to talk to as many people as you can in the shops, gym on the street. Some easy things like start with the weather... most recent events...
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#12

I am doing something really fucking wrong and its killing my "game"

Quote: (09-14-2018 07:01 AM)Realbor Wrote:  

Quote: (09-13-2018 12:57 PM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  

Alcohol doesn´t make you feel more comfortable when you are at a party? I mean, when you drink, it´s easier to overcome that social fear. Then you easily grab some pussy, while at a party.

I am that kind of guy, who has been asked why I am angry very often.
Few months ago I started to work as manager in shop. During my first weeks my colleagues were joking, that if they were customers and met me in the shop, they would run away, because I look like I want to kill them.
And one of the main rules of the company is "kindness". Smiling and looking into customers eyes is actually called "SUPER RULE".

I must say, that working in this shop helped me a lot. Because everytime I start to talk to someone or I am asked by someone, the first thing I do is smile. I also try a lot to keep "positive" look when I am around people/customers.

I have also been putting myself down. I would say I´m also good handsome it comes to looks. I have been working out since I was 14 and have very masculline look. I have been aproached by women, but I was always putting myself down in my mind. I know it´s easy to say this and difficult to do, but try to change your mindset. It doesn´t happen from day to day, but you should always rely on high status you look gives you (and it´s enormously big advantage).

Take other people as some kind of entities you can experiment on. Try different social situations and different approaches and see how people react.

Just do it, do everything to get out of the comfort zone. Fight it. Nothing can change the situation, only you can.

Thanks for your reply. Yep, thats it, I constantly put myself down in my own mind and my self esteem is in the gutter, grew up without a father figure and I dont have many friends at all.

I feel like some weird hybrid, externally I look like a good looking "player" but inside I feel like an insecure kid, its a very very weird feeling.
I have also grown up without father.
Martial arts is good idea. I have been fighting my first MMA fight 3 months ago and it was one of these life-changing moments, definitely.

"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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