[shakra]

Hi everyone,

I live mostly in hostels (private rooms): I can meet many people easily.
But all my interactions are shallow: I don't care about people and what they have to say. Most of them are unoriginal, boring, unintelligent.

I like to talk with pretty girls and chill with them, but as soon more people come and start to talk it gets really boring for me, and I leave.
I feel like it affect my possibilities of meeting new women, showing them how I act in social situations, so they know what/who I am...

I wonder if I should become an expert of isolation to be able to be only with the few girls I like talking to. Or, if I should simply be more "social" and stick around ?

Me not being around mean: missing occasion to go out with them (btw pubs and parties are pretty boring to me), meeting less people, feeling like I'm only "orbiting" around them.



Or should I dedicate myself to daygame/online game and never get in real social situation with whose I meet ?

In brief: I have relatively low social skills and I don't know what I should tend to be

thanks for your opinions. if my post is unclear, it's because it's unclear for me too

[NoMoreTO]

To me the term "social circle" is different than "socializing".

Social Circle to me is a group of people who you socialize with, who you generally find interesting, challenging, or share in an enjoyable activity.

To me social circle game, is having a social circle with quality people who know other quality people, it helps get you introduced, and adds to your status overall. It also gives you organic openings with ladies and a level of social trust because of the people you are surrounded with.

Given that you are backpacking, or travelling I am not sure "social circle" is the right term. I can definitely understand the desire to socialize, but then the disappointment of socializing with people who are just passing through. Id recommend the following:
(1) Improve the quality of your goals, and the way you spend your time alone.
(2) Try to improve your options socially, so that the girl can take of with you s to somewhere better than the pub, and ditch the other backpackers
(3) Be patient at the pub with the shallow conversations, I have had this feeling too while travelling, that all conversations are somehow basic because people don't have commonality. Try to extract something out of the people you meet, and try to up your own conversation and guide the conversation. Ultimately, the girl should bail the pub on the group with you after a couple of drinks if you are clearly the most interesting or funny in the group.

[Batman_]

Social circles help immensely for pickup because it gives you social proof. Socializing in general is essential to game, you can't just go from being a hermit to "switching" to game mode. You're kind of always supposed to be on. Personally, I find that extremely difficult as I am in the first percentile on the extroversion scale and find prolonged socializing to be exhausting. If I want to start opening women I have to make it a priority to get in a social mood for a set part of the day so that I can get warmed up.

As far as social circles go, I don't bother, because I hate large groups of people. This is something you will have to be willing to change about yourself if you want to have the best success with women, though. I would advise finding some sort of peer group, it doesn't have to be friends, but coworkers, business partners, people with mutual interests (improv, etc). We are social animals and game is not an exception to this.

[Repo]

Are you actually banging hot women on a regular basis already? What about you actually makes you so super exciting and everyone else boring by comparison?

From your post it sounds like you have a terrible attitude and are a very negative person. I wouldn't want to hang out with you based on this post alone, and I dont think many people would.

[shakra]

Quote:

What about you actually makes you so super exciting and everyone else boring by comparison?

I never said I was super exciting. But it is on my todo list, I hope to reach it by going to theater and learning to be more expressive, more "fun", laugh more...
Other peoples are boring to me, unless they are attractive girls.

Quote:

terrible attitude and are a very negative person.

I'm respectful and positive. Rather introverted. Not an hermit but not outgoing.

Let's not battle like kids, and only focus on useful answers please. I'm not here to chit-chat nor do ego-based debates.

thanks to batman and noMoreTo, I need to analyze more your answers
Any other opinion is welcome

[Repo]

The point was to stop being so judgemental of other people and lighten up. You say you have weak social skills, this is part of the reason why. If you become more social you may meet other people who are into the things you are looking to get into.

" I don't care about people and what they have to say. Most of them are unoriginal, boring, unintelligent."

You don't call this negative? ^^^^

[christpuncher]

OP: If my post is unclear, it's because it's unclear for me too.

RVF: *Overly generous and helpful replies*

OP: only focus on useful answers please

[jcardial]

(06-05-2018 06:36 PM)shakra Wrote:  

Hi everyone,

I live mostly in hostels (private rooms): I can meet many people easily.
But all my interactions are shallow: I don't care about people and what they have to say. Most of them are unoriginal, boring, unintelligent.

I like to talk with pretty girls and chill with them, but as soon more people come and start to talk it gets really boring for me, and I leave.
I feel like it affect my possibilities of meeting new women, showing them how I act in social situations, so they know what/who I am...

I wonder if I should become an expert of isolation to be able to be only with the few girls I like talking to. Or, if I should simply be more "social" and stick around ?

Me not being around mean: missing occasion to go out with them (btw pubs and parties are pretty boring to me), meeting less people, feeling like I'm only "orbiting" around them.



Or should I dedicate myself to daygame/online game and never get in real social situation with whose I meet ?

In brief: I have relatively low social skills and I don't know what I should tend to be

thanks for your opinions. if my post is unclear, it's because it's unclear for me too

Interesting, skilled and successful people want to hang out with other people of similar levels of accomplishment. In what way(s) are you accomplished and interesting? The problem is it's easy to get seduced by a world of passive entertainment (porn, social media and netflix) and to forego the personal development that would be conducive to developing the types of rewarding relationships you desire. If you can bring value to the table people will be compelled to return it in kind.

Find some interesting hobbies and pursuits, and some that are compatible with meeting people. That comic strip you posted is just irrationally negative puerile bull shit that has no validity in the real world. You should give some more details about your age, background, job, skills etc if you want better advice.

If you're not good at your occupation, it's going to suck. If you're not good with people, a hostel and party environment is going to suck. You have to figure out how to thrive at something and if you're actually so much smarter than the average person that you so despise then it shouldn't be hard to find some fruitful endeavors. If you have nothing going for you, no men or women are going to want to be a part of your life whether you meet them online or in a hostel.

[jcardial]

(06-05-2018 09:00 PM)shakra Wrote:  

Quote:

What about you actually makes you so super exciting and everyone else boring by comparison?

I never said I was super exciting. But it is on my todo list, I hope to reach it by going to theater and learning to be more expressive, more "fun", laugh more...
Other peoples are boring to me, unless they are attractive girls.

Quote:

terrible attitude and are a very negative person.

I'm respectful and positive. Rather introverted. Not an hermit but not outgoing.

Let's not battle like kids, and only focus on useful answers please. I'm not here to chit-chat nor do ego-based debates.

thanks to batman and noMoreTo, I need to analyze more your answers
Any other opinion is welcome

Going to the theater and even laughing are relatively passive activities where someone else is bringing value and you're just enjoying it. You don't become more expressive by passively consuming entertainment, you do it by proactively developing a skill.

You should for example take an acting or improv class so you're forced to hone your social skills and ability to express emotion. No one is going to go from being an aspergered hermit to being Chad of the acting class over night, but it's one step in the right direction and there's at least a chance you'll meet some cool people with common interests.

[shakra]

Quote:

(porn, social media and netflix)

I recently stopped porn and never used social media nor netflix

Quote:

You should give some more details about your age, background, job, skills etc if you want better advice.

I'm 25, been a nomad in my home country a started to travel to latin america a year ago.
Basically my life goals are:

• money: I'm good at it, can work only a few hours by day: writing articles and trading crypto
• spirituality: I was into vipassana meditation, then astral projection (yeah, with a few success) and auto-hypnosis (with good success). I choose to put this goal in pause to focus only on women
• women: I'm bad at it
  

Quote:

Find some interesting hobbies and pursuits, and some that are compatible with meeting people

My hobbies being trading and spiritual things, are indeed not very social ones.
I'm planning to take classes of kickboxing and theater (by "going to theater" I meant taking classes of it)

The image I posted is more negative than I really am, but the main idea was: when I try to get social and hang with people, it's boring to me.

thanks for your answers

[jcardial]

(06-06-2018 09:03 AM)shakra Wrote:  

Quote:

(porn, social media and netflix)

I recently stopped porn and never used social media nor netflix

Quote:

You should give some more details about your age, background, job, skills etc if you want better advice.

I'm 25, been a nomad in my home country a started to travel to latin america a year ago.
Basically my life goals are:

• money: I'm good at it, can work only a few hours by day: writing articles and trading crypto
• spirituality: I was into vipassana meditation, then astral projection (yeah, with a few success) and auto-hypnosis (with good success). I choose to put this goal in pause to focus only on women
• women: I'm bad at it
  

Quote:

Find some interesting hobbies and pursuits, and some that are compatible with meeting people

My hobbies being trading and spiritual things, are indeed not very social ones.
I'm planning to take classes of kickboxing and theater (by "going to theater" I meant taking classes of it)

The image I posted is more negative than I really am, but the main idea was: when I try to get social and hang with people, it's boring to me.

thanks for your answers

If your main hobbies are niche new age stuff that no one has ever heard of it's naturally going to be harder to connect with the average person. The same goes for completely avoiding pop culture, as it just decreases what you have in common with people. Socializing is a two way street, and common ground helps create the chemistry that will make conversation less boring for both parties involved.

Crypto, hypnosis and astral projection...that should interest about 1% of the female population. Kickboxing and theater are much better bets than stuff that will make the average girl think you're Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.

[H1N1]

It's not 'needed' but it is highly effective.

It's actually surprisingly rare that other people are truly boring. Most people have a sense of humour, have done some interesting things in their life, have subjects they know quite a lot about, have opinions on things that are surprisingly nuanced, and importantly, most people are themselves fairly interested in return. I could probably recall everyone I've thought was truly boring that I've met over the past few years, and the number would be quite low. Most of those would be girls - it's very, very rare to meet a man who is a complete dial tone, who has no interest in any aspect of the world around him about which he can talk with feeling and real knowledge.

[Batman_]

(06-07-2018 04:55 PM)H1N1 Wrote:  

It's actually surprisingly rare that other people are truly boring.

[VisionsofGandhi]

(06-07-2018 04:55 PM)H1N1 Wrote:  

It's not 'needed' but it is highly effective.

It's actually surprisingly rare that other people are truly boring. Most people have a sense of humour, have done some interesting things in their life, have subjects they know quite a lot about, have opinions on things that are surprisingly nuanced, and importantly, most people are themselves fairly interested in return. I could probably recall everyone I've thought was truly boring that I've met over the past few years, and the number would be quite low. Most of those would be girls - it's very, very rare to meet a man who is a complete dial tone, who has no interest in any aspect of the world around him about which he can talk with feeling and real knowledge.

That's not entirely true it depends on several factors such as age , intelligence , country,openness, When you think about it most guys tend to be either dumb or intelligent while women tend to be in the middle level of intelligence for the most part.

A lot of guys love to talk about the generic stuff like pop culture , sports, social circle drama or talk about their past experiences to impress you even more so then women these days. At least where i live it is the dominant form of male behavior but i can't really talk for every location on the earth but this seems to true in most developed countries as well

And guys who aren't like this are either omega or beta as fuck and if these certain type of dudes are out enjoying themselves they won't really be noticed or avoided like the plague

Those who even for the sake of their lives wouldn't be able to handle the basic human conversation shit should focus on niche sets were guys and girls like the second example congress, Maybe art exhibitions , wine testing, Some trippy hippie outdoors drug festival