[qqkikia]

Hey folks,

My first post here. So let’s immediately get into it. I used to be relatively depressed the past few years and was, as a result, always low energy and sad. That all changed though right after I heard the Joe Rogan Podcast about psilocybin mushrooms with Paul Stammets. They talked about effectively combating depression with mushrooms. So I decided to try them, Lo and behold, I haven’t been depressed since (I live in Amsterdam, hence the accessibility). I enjoy live now and have been doing so for the past couple of months now.

Now I’m facing the following problem though. See, I never was a non-handsome guy, and now that it’s been paired with an overwhelming sense of confidence I seem to attract many girls. Though I noticed in myself that I haven’t got a clue on how to escalate physically. I get the dates, I get all the IOI’s in the world yet I leave it at that.

My question to you guys is whether there is anyone out there that has faced the same issue and managed to overcome it? If so, how did you manage to be a good escalator (lol)?

[tobehero]

Look up escalation ladder.
Idea is to start with hand holding then progress from there.

To get out of something that is uncomfortable (discomfort), you expose yourself to it until it becomes comfortable (normal).

That may take 10x dates, 20 , 30+ , whatever, until you get it down.

[qqkikia]

(06-01-2018 02:10 AM)tobehero Wrote:  

Look up escalation ladder.
Idea is to start with hand holding then progress from there.

To get out of something that is uncomfortable (discomfort), you expose yourself to it until it becomes comfortable (normal).

That may take 10x dates, 20 , 30+ , whatever, until you get it down.

Thanks, appreciate it! I just checked it out and this stuff is amazing!

[KeepMovingForward]

Good job on taking a chance with something risky to get over your depression, I imagine that was a difficult choice.

Don't worry about making mistakes! The important thing is that you keep escalating, that's the only way you will learn! Girls will let you know if you're doing it right or wrong, so don't worry about that. You gotta make some errors to learn what you can do better, but if you've gotten a girl alone, and you're getting physical, you're at the fun part of dating and game!

The more girls you go out with and escalate with, the better you get at it, and the more often you get laid. Don't be afraid of escalating, and don't worry about being perfect. Remember if a girl likes you and wants you to fuck her, she will give you the chance, and she will cut you some slack. Keep up the good work, go get laid, you can do it!

[Hardwork Honesty Character]

Been here. Overcame it. This is how:

1) I simply started telling these exact words aloud - "Simple... I am [name], born to conquer health, wealth, and girls. I can do anything" by sitting in an alpha position, every morning (or whenever I could). So, when it came to D-Day, I had a natural confidence to progress things
PS - I love my name, it fits well in this sentence' so that definitely helped as well

2) Also, before sex, I was always on the lookout for the girl's LMR (to agree & amplify, and/or show her my passion for her), so this way, I waited for what she said and not on my own thoughts/self-doubts. If she didn't say anything, things proceeded without any problems (but I prefer LMR, gives me a chance to get her wetter)

3) Didn't follow any specific escalation rules. Did what I felt. E.g.- got her in the mood, and kissed her on her neck (before ever holding her hands)

[RatInTheWoods]

She wants you to escalate, just imagine her begging you silently to ramp up and touch her.

You would be letter her down if you didn't. This should help overcome anxiety.

[GreenManaleshi]

follow the advice in my sig!

[MongolianAbroad]

If you're good looking but a bit inexperienced, just say what's on your mind, be direct. So if you're already on a date, when you want to kiss her, just go for it, or if you're too shy, just ask:

"I'd like to kiss you. May I?"

I don't do that anymore, I can read body-language, so asking isn't necessary anymore, you just know, but when you're still getting the hang of things, asking can help you move things along.

That said, when I was more inexperienced, I did that even not being on a date, just at a bar, and it works, but if you're not too calibrated socially, I'd say only try it with girls you're on a date with.

The first time I did that I was at a nightclub in a border town and a cute blonde was there, I'd seen her around here and there before, but had never really interacted with her, so I just went up to her and was like, "Hey, I've seen you around and I've wanted to kiss you for a while, may I?" She was like, "Yeah." So I made out with her.

So yeah, I mean, if you're good looking, you've got a lot of leeway, just make sure she's down.

A fair amount of people that read this forum are socially inexperienced or worse, slightly autistic, so I've got to stress to get a clear, unequivocal yes from a girl before proceeding, since reading body language is not something everyone can do.

[Dark Emperor]

(06-01-2018 10:39 PM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

If you're good looking but a bit inexperienced, just say what's on your mind, be direct. So if you're already on a date, when you want to kiss her, just go for it, or if you're too shy, just ask:

"I'd like to kiss you. May I?"

I don't do that anymore, I can read body-language, so asking isn't necessary anymore, you just know, but when you're still getting the hang of things, asking can help you move things along.

That said, when I was more inexperienced, I did that even not being on a date, just at a bar, and it works, but if you're not too calibrated socially, I'd say only try it with girls you're on a date with.

The first time I did that I was at a nightclub in a border town and a cute blonde was there, I'd seen her around here and there before, but had never really interacted with her, so I just went up to her and was like, "Hey, I've seen you around and I've wanted to kiss you for a while, may I?" She was like, "Yeah." So I made out with her.

So yeah, I mean, if you're good looking, you've got a lot of leeway, just make sure she's down.

A fair amount of people that read this forum are socially inexperienced or worse, slightly autistic, so I've got to stress to get a clear, unequivocal yes from a girl before proceeding, since reading body language is not something everyone can do.

Never do bolded part, it wont end well...

[Supreme4ever]

You can do well with asking a girl may you kiss her. Sometimes I know the answer is yes but love the look in her eyes when they nod yes. In the States it also gives you that gentleman vibe that will make you seem that you care for her. There's nothing wrong with being a wolf in sheep's clothing. It gives me major credibility if I be a little bit forceful with her head cool down for me pulling her hair during sex.

[Dark Emperor]

(06-04-2018 01:07 PM)Supreme4ever Wrote:  

You can do well with asking a girl may you kiss her. Sometimes I know the answer is yes but love the look in her eyes when they nod yes. In the States it also gives you that gentleman vibe that will make you seem that you care for her. There's nothing wrong with being a wolf in sheep's clothing. It gives me major credibility if I be a little bit forceful with her head cool down for me pulling her hair during sex.

Maybe people have different experiences. Tried it once in my late teens and she said no, so never again haha. Funny thing is she texted me later to say she wanted me to just kiss her.

The thing is most dudes asking beforehand are scared to go for it as they don't want to get rejected, so put the pressure on the girl to make the decision. What you described is a bit different though.

[BadgerHut]

I had the same problem when I was younger, missed a huge number of opportunities because i couldn't make simple moves.

I too would advise against a "say what's on your mind" MO, in favor of "doing what's on your mind." If a girl is into you, she's going to want you to make moves, and talking about it in anyway is going to be a mood killer. There is a way to work a verbal "here is what I am going to do to you" kind of routine but that is an advanced game technique and is more about mental dominance than escalation.

my recommendation would be to listen to your own nerves, when you start to feel that tension like you're a little nervous to escalate, that's the signal to escalate. In that situation she is probably feeling the same thing, and her hind brain is thinking is this guy ever going to close the deal?

Another thing: there's been a new wave of paranoia going around with all of this me-too stuff; don't worry about it. That was about powerful men harassing women in the workplace, not social pickup. The worst thing that will probably happen if you read this wrong is a girl will stop talking to you, and any girl who gets upset that a guy she was flirting with tries to kiss her has some serious issues that are not your fault.