Dating Sites/Apps Results Comparison and Data Sheet
This is my 100th post on the forum, so I thought I should go ahead and start a thread. As I am very aware of the forum’s opinion of new members starting weak threads, I decided to drop a data sheet that I think some may find at least interesting, if not useful.
This data sheet is long as hell and rambles a lot. I actually cut a lot out, but it still runs about ten pages. So I will give you a quick TL;DR:
I went on a bunch of dating sites and ran both provider and Chad game. Tinder and POF pretty much sucked for relationship girls (duh), but I got a bunch of DTF ones off of Tinder. Most weren’t physically worth it. OKC gave me a few legit relationship leads and is also okay for pulling bangs. Match isn’t worth the money and there are a lot of (post-wall) carousel riders on there. Christian Mingle and Catholic Match are probably only good for guys looking for serious religious girls who want to get married. Otherwise, don’t bother. On each site, there are tips and tricks. I shared a limited amount. Your mileage may vary.
I have just finished a multi-month experiment with several of the largest online dating platforms (as well as a few niche ones). I have never truly attempted to use online dating. Honestly, I always thought that online dating was the place where a guy goes to scrape the absolute bottom of the barrel. I also had misgivings about the utility of online dating for my purposes. Now that I am in my thirties, I am not really interested in chasing easy bangs from lackluster women. I am much more interested in something long-term, perhaps even marriage and children. As I had previously done some consulting work for an online dating company, I was well aware of the dregs that I would be sipping on, if I attempted to look for quality among the quantity.
However, my frequent travel schedule, as well as my inability to find a suitable girl within existing social circles, led me to reconsider online dating. But I wasn’t content to approach it like a normal man might. I have a background in statistical studies, so I decided to approach these sites with a mathematical mind. I didn’t know what sites would deliver, so I decided to engage in testing of the site utility for my purposes (with a split).
About Me:
Well, my name is Courtney and I’m a flight attendant.
Just kidding.
I am a white guy in my early thirties. I was brought up primarily in the West and English is my first language. I come from a fairly affluent background, which allowed me to study at some very good schools. I had an academic career throughout my twenties, but I pivoted out of that and now do something entirely different. I don’t want to get too specific, but I work in a corporate environment of sorts. I travel a lot. I am in fairly good shape. Muscular, but on the lean side. Full head of hair. Straight (and now very white) teeth. Six foot, or thereabouts. Excellent wardrobe game. I would classify my general game level as “moderate” with the caveat that I do okay with social circle game, and I do well with night game (which I usually don’t do). I have only been successful in the later due to my complete antipathy towards it. In truth, I do not like easy women. They just don’t do it for me. So, I give off a very “aloof” vibe in such situations, because I honestly do not care.
About the Test:
I decided to split test two different general profiles on the larger platforms, with continual modifications to each. On the smaller, niche platforms, my plan was to develop one profile and attempt my modifications within conversations/messages with the girls. The reasons for this will become obvious.
The sites I picked, and my reasoning for choosing them, were as follows;
1. Tinder – The original hookup app and the mother of swipe-style dating. This is not how I game, but everyone has tried it at this point, so I thought I would give it a shot. I had heard it has turned in to more of a game for women, but I wanted to test my ability to contact/close on an app that is completely based on looks. I knew this would be an uphill battle.
2. Plenty of Fish (POF) – It’s the big free site. I have read a lot of reviews saying it is the lowest rung of dating sites. It caters to the single moms and parolees of the online dating market… or so I heard. I wanted a good cross-section, so I went with it.
3. OKCupid (OKC) – OKC is weird, I’ll give you that. But, there is a mix of girls on here. And, it has its own charm and secret game potential (which I will cover later). It is a good mix of girls who were indoctrinated in their feminist liberation majors and girls who have a paralegal associates degree. OKC is the first site I decided on, as it has a comprehensive matching function that allows you to sort by type and question. It also is very geographically diverse, and the male competition is actually really bad (a lot of bisexual dudes who seem more interested in taking down men).
4. Match – The “proper” dating site. The women on here do seem to be looking for something more serious (relative to the other large sites). However, that may be affected by the average age of users, which is older than OKC, POF, and Tinder. Along with Eharmony, Match markets itself for those who are looking for something in line with a long-term relationship or marriage. For what they charge, I would hope so. I knew I would have to sign up for one of the two, and Courtney really sold me on Match. Come find meeeeee!
5. Christian Mingle – I come from a primarily Catholic background, and I wanted to see if the religious sites had anything better on offer. I have found, through experience and studies, that a larger percentage of women from a practicing and theologically conservative religious background are what one might call “wife material”. Christian Mingle is the diet Coke of religious sites, so I thought I would give it a try.
6. Catholic Match – I quickly decided I should also try some specifically Catholic sites (as most of the Protestant girls on Christian Mingle were not interested in a Catholic guy). Catholic Match is the big hitter in this arena, but it seemed to skew towards older and more “progressive” Catholics. There were a lot of materialist types on here, so I also sought some other Catholic sites.
7. Ave Maria Singles – Danger Will Robinson! Danger! I said I might want to get married, not that I wanted to get married this month. This site would more aptly be called a discernment site. It cannot be considered a dating site. The women on here are looking to date for marriage and, seemingly, somewhat quickly. But, if you want to move to rural Wyoming, buy a ranch, and have twelve kids with a women who hasn’t cut her hair since the first Bush administration, check this site out!
8. Catholic Singles – This site was undergoing a redesign when I signed up. The layout was awful and the messaging was useless. I scrubbed it pretty quickly, but now I see that they have a much better design. I may give it another shot in the future.
The Strategy:
My approach was simple.
I wanted to assess the utility of each service for finding long-term dating potentials or easy sex. At this point in my life, I am not particularly interested in the easy bang, but I knew that the information would be valuable to some of the younger guys. Also, I suspected that I might find some women who “crossed over” on the Venn diagram of online good girls and online sluts, essentially playing both sides. The only way to properly test this was to play both sides myself (Oh yeah, and ask me about the Tinder test!).
On Tinder, POF, OKC, and Match, I set up two independent profiles. On both Catholic Match and Christian Mingle, I only set up one profile, but I engaged with girls using two different “personas”.
The Setup:
As I was nowhere near as familiar with online dating as many other guys on the forum, I first set out to read all I could on strategies for using online dating sites and apps. I did not use any of the paid programs, but I devoured a lot of the free stuff, including posts on the forum. I knew I would need decent photos, so I hired a professional photographer. Before the shoot, I got a new haircut from a decent stylist and I had a Zoom teeth whitening session. I considered hiring a makeup artist for the shoot (no homo), as I have used them before (for other people) when doing promotional shoots. I know they can really make a difference and cut down on post-production. Upon consultation with the photographer, I decided against the makeup artist. The photo shoot took place over the better part of a day at a very nice resort in Southern California. I was able to secure about sixty usable pictures in a variety of settings, wearing several different outfits. I have social shots, business shots, traditional head shots, etc. I used both photofeeler and the opinions of a few close friends to decide which shots to use on which profiles.
For the provider-type profiles, I really put out my bone fides. I indicated having gone to such-and-such schools and that I came from a good background. I was careful to indicate that, although the former was the case, it did not necessarily mean I was wealthy. I felt it necessary to use a potential earner persona vs. a rich guy persona. I used more standard photos, indicating my professional attributes – suit shots, shot of me talking to people in a boardroom, etc. I answered the questions on the matching sites in a moderately conservative way. I indicated that I was looking for something more serious, and not going for the pump and dump (not the actual words I used).
For the Chad-type profiles, I flipped it entirely. My primary photo was one of me in khaki pants and a black v-neck falling in to a pool. The rest of the photos were ones I had that, at best, indicated I might be employed. I am sorry to even mention this, but (on Tinder and Tinder alone) I did use a shirtless pic. Mea culpa. For the content, I basically went dirtbag. I said that I wasn’t sure what I was doing with my life. I thought that most modern systems (school, work, etc.) were shit. And, I basically sold it that I intend to drift through life getting my fill where I can. I also made clear indications of my general disdain for women. I wrote something to the effect of “We both know you’re on here to get laid as much as I am, so don’t lie about it.”
I was going to post the actual profiles, but I decided (even though I have deleted or disabled the profiles) I didn’t want to compromise my identity any more than I already have.
Final Note: As I travel so much, I was able to sample the local market in various locations across North America. I also set my location to a few other international locations that I sometimes travel to. But, as I was not able to meet any of the women I talked to, I will omit those results.
Results:
Tinder
This turned out almost exactly as you would expect, with only one or two exceptions. Many women appear to be using Tinder as merely a Candy Crush type app, a free meal generator, or as a Meetup type app. Yes, there are a number of women on Tinder who are just looking to bang, but they are often well below passing the boner test, and I don’t want to start a course of heavy antiretrovirals.
Relationship
I can’t say I was pleasantly surprised, but I was surprised by the response that I got using Tinder as a “relationship guy”. Specifically, I got good hits in Vancouver, San Diego, and Phoenix. I was able to meet five women from these cities (three from Vancouver, one each from San Diego and Phoenix). I should point out that precisely no white women swiped back and kept communication on Tinder. None. The three girls in Vancouver were first-generation Canadians or immigrants from Hong Kong. They all seemed to be more conservative. The girls from Phoenix and San Diego were both Mexican, and also seemed far more conservative. All the girls made it absolutely clear that they were not looking to hook up and insisted that we meet during the day, in a public place. They were also all in their early twenties. All but the girl from San Diego claimed to have never actually met up with anyone from Tinder before.
I’ve become fairly good at reading girls at this point, and I didn’t detect much disconnect between words and actions with these girls. I read them as introverted and somewhat social awkward conservative girls who picked the wrong app. When we were talking, all of the girls mentioned “everyone is on Tinder”. It was a shrug.
As far as the quality of the girls, they all ranked 7+ on looks, and (this is important) their “in real life” looks matched their picture looks. But, as I said, they were on the socially awkward side. I have kept in touch with three, but I don’t see it going anywhere.
Bang
Well, it is Tinder. I managed to get over 200 right swipes in a few months. I was selective in my own swipes, so I consider this a fairly good return. I will say that the blow out and flake rate on Tinder (bang) was monumental. I would frequently be messaging a chick and have her drop the conversation half way through. And, I was playing this as a mega douche. I met up with 23 women using this strategy. This was, by far, the largest numerical return of any of the sites/apps. But, in most ways, those returns were, in the end, disappointing. I got the biggest message response in Western Canada, but almost none of those converted to meet ups. For the girls I actually did meet up with, they were almost all from Southern California – primarily Los Angeles. I have read many people say that LA Tinder is a nightmare for men. It sort of was for me, but not how you think. I found that most of the women I met in LA were just looking for someone to entertain or feed them. I met a lot of starving artist types – wannabe models, aspiring actresses, photographers, etc. My message to meetup conversions hinged almost entirely on my ability to provide something cool to do. For a few examples, I pulled one girl out because I was going cruising to Catalina for the day. Another girl met up with me because I was at the Santa Monica Pier and I sent her a picture of me eating some Cotton Candy with a mime. Another girl was a huge fan of Laguna Beach and The Hills. I sent her a picture of myself standing in front of some street signs in Laguna Beach, and said I was going to spend the day going to the locations they shot the show (keep in mind I had no idea what the hell I was talking about here). Finally and most expensively, I was having a dinner meeting with a friend of mine at Kate Mantilini in Beverly Hills. I was messaging this girl and I mentioned that I was in the restaurant from the movie Heat. She told me it was her dad’s favorite movie and she had seen it 100 times. So, I had a waiter take a picture of me and my friend sitting facing each other in one of the middle booths. I invited her to come over, sent her the address, and she was there about an hour later. A big thanks a few guys on the forum for providing some of these ideas.
The only consistent theme to any of those conversions was, as I said, the fact that I was doing something cool and it was happening “right now”. I should note that, provided I was doing something cool, I did not experience one case of a girl flaking. And, this was in Los Angeles.
Another thing I would like to note is that the quality of the Tinder (bang) girls was way lower in person. So, the Tinder (relationship) girls, more or less, matched their profile pictures. The Tinder (bang) girls were, in some cases, legitimately three numbers below their pictures. I was revved up for the Kate Mantilini girl, as she was a solid nine in her profile pictures. She shows up and was a six. And then she ordered a $14 salad and $12 mac and cheese. I honestly should have left, but I go to that restaurant a lot.
As far as conversion to bang, I would say that I had a sure thing on around ten of the 23. Indicators of bang-willingness included meeting at night and meeting outside of a traditional “date” type location (so no restaurants or movies). Over the course of a week that I was staying in Beverly Hills, I had three women come directly to my hotel room. That is a pretty good indicator in my book.
I should note that, although I say I had a sure thing on ten, I didn’t bang all of them. As I said before, the quality was worse than the advertisements sold. Also, a few of the girls gave off a major skank vibe. Not just slutty, but slutty with a really bad back story and maybe a burgeoning drug problem. I am simply not interested in that.
Final Analysis
Tinder is weak. If you are looking for an easy bang, it will probably work on a woman well below your standards. You will have to compromise on looks, personality, and possibly physical and mental health. And, all the investigative work you do with the messaging and profile trolling will give you nothing near what the real product is. Tinder might have some utility as a Hail Mary Pass for those guys looking for a serious relationship, in that (if you present well) you may be one of a few guys who didn’t send her a dick pick within ten minutes of her swiping right. But, for relationships, you can get much better ROI on other sites.
POF
This was the worst site I was on, both for quality of women and conversion rates. I really cannot express my contempt for the level of women on this site (generally speaking). I also found that the level of “magical misdirection” happening on this site was higher than any other. I had a friend who got catfished on POF and ended up marrying a woman who was just divorced and had a surprise child. As it turns out, that is very common on this site (in my experience).
Relationship
Two words. Don’t bother. If you present any type of provider game on this site, you will be flooded. Single mothers. Jabba the Hutts. Maybe a dudes. They are all to be found on POF. Despite getting messages from around eighty girls, I did not meet up with a single one. That was my choice. The level of girls looking for an LTR on POF is simply too low. I also suspect that a number of the profiles are fake, but that can be said of many of the sites.
Bang
POF might be more suited for this, with a bit of “agreed mutual lying”. What I mean by that is that you are going to have to play that fun game wherein both you and the girl pretend that you aren’t meeting up just to bang. Then you do and you never see them again. I ended up meeting four girls who responded to my Chad profile. I was acting like a complete dick in my messages and I found it difficult to maintain that persona in real life. Nonetheless, three of the four were definitely down to bang. And it was completely a “This isn’t just a one time thing, right?” situation. You’re banging on the first meetup with a guy you barely know? No, you’re right. We’re probably getting married.
Final Analysis
I know some guys on the forum have used POF with some success. I did not find it. There were a lot of alternative and tattooed girls. There were a lot of rather open habitual drugs users. And, again, tons of single mothers and whatnot trying to grab that last branch before they hit the ground. These aren’t my cup of tea, even for a casual bang. When other options exist, I can’t recommend POF.
OKC
Enter OKCupid. OKC is POF’s slightly better brother. I found that the variance on OKC was much greater than on POF. On POF, the girls clustered towards the bottom quartile. On OKC, I would say that about half the girls cluster around average (as far as looks and personality, etc). Forty percent are below average or just too insane to consider. And about ten percent are actually attractive (and some of those are normal). I have a conspiracy theory that there are actually many more attractive women on OKC. They are just hidden (and I have some data and experience to back this up). On a final note, the guy game on OKC can come off as pretty weak. OKC is the only site on which I created a fake female profile to assess the competition. I used pictures of a hot model and gave her very standard answers and profile sections. The guy game was almost all IRTs and dudes who were so obviously spamming the same text to every girl that it wasn’t even funny. I think a guy with tight online game could probably do pretty well on OKC, so long as he tailored his messages to each girl (which is time consuming, I know). You will often see girls insert a random line at the bottom of their profile like, “Put Gandalph at the top of your message or I will delete it!”. A lot of the more attractive girls seem to use this to screen out spammers (and it works). OKC also recently changed their messaging feature so that you have to like and be liked by people before you message them, so adjust accordingly.
Relationship
It is absolutely possible to find a more decent, relationship-type girl on OKC, but you are going to have to screen hard. Luckily, there are (supposedly) over 30,000,000 registered and active members for you to choose from. I answered my questions in such a way to indicate that I was looking for a sexually conservative and relationship-oriented girl. Then, I used the A-List search function (which you have to pay for) to search specifically for girls who answered questions in this way. For a very specific example, there are several questions that ask if a girl is a virgin or not, so you can screen just for that (that’s for you unicorn hunters out there). But, there are many, many other screening questions that you can screen for individually or together. This will bring in the margins and allow you to find what you want. To get very specific, I tailored my searches for;
Hot women (you can screen by attractiveness),
Who were single and straight,
Did not identify as feminists (another thing you can screen for),
Were looking for their last (and sometimes first) relationship, and
Skewed towards sexual inexperience
These parameters yielded a surprising number of women. Unfortunately, more than half of them were in Asia, so I had to omit those for the time being. Of the girls I did message, I ran around a 70% return message rate. I ended up meeting up with three of these girls, after fairly protracted back and forth messaging. That is something you really have to expect with some of the more “conservative” (if I can use that term) girls. The quality, though, was top notch. I will admit to prescreening really hard, but I must admit that I was impressed with what I got off of OKC. The girls were from Phoenix, Carlsbad, and Palm Springs. Phoenix was hot, but not my cup of tea, so I only saw her once. Carlsbad was a smoking hot (solid 8.5) 27-year-old PhD who works in early childhood development. I took her out three times while I was in the area and I plan on seeing her again when I go back through. As it stands, she is still messaging me on a daily basis, so I think I’m in there. Palm Springs was weird, but, again, hot. She was a 25-year-old half-Asian girl who was brought up by her Asian grandparents. And they were FOB. I met them and I couldn’t understand a word. I ended up going out with her four times (I was very bored in Palm Springs). She was extremely quiet and seemed to have some level of social anxiety/agoraphobia. To cut this long story short, it eventually came out that she was a virgin and unsure of when/with whom she wanted to give that up. It went a bit awkwardly, but considering all her attributes, I have kept her on board and plan on seeing her again.
Bang
OKC might work better than Tinder for pulling hot, easy lays. You can, again, screen for DTF girls the same way you can screen for Sandra Dees. I managed to get six seriously DTF girls to meet up over the course of about three months. All but one were hot (7+), and I swear that one used someone else’s photos on the site. I think I could have pulled a lot more, but I sunk a bunch of time gaming a Dutch model. She was a contestant on The Netherlands's Next Top Model (confirmed) and I was seriously going for it. I think I crashed and burned there, but I bring it up to point out that there actually is some quality on OKC in the bang department. In the future, if I ever get lonely and am looking to scratch that particular itch in a short period of time (and with a hot enough girl), I am hitting up OKC.
Final Analysis
OKC was the best combination of both dateable and bangable girls. I know some guys dislike the site, but I was pleasantly surprised. I think both A-List and Incognito are worth the money and I would make sure you have your profile game at 11. Seriously, my profile game on OKC probably counted for most of the girls I pulled. Develop the thing and add in-line pictures. Also, regularly rotate your main profile picture.
OKC Pro-Tips:
This is a long ass data sheet, so here are some tips to make up for it.
1. A-List automatically lets you see and be seen by hotter girls. It seems you get to see girls you wouldn’t otherwise get to see.
2. If you message hot girls and they respond, the search algorithm pushes you up in the male hotness rankings.
3. Boosts during Friday and Saturday afternoons will get the most results.
4. Go Incognito and like all the hot women on the site. Instantly, they are the only ones who can see you. This leads to a feedback loop of you only seeing and only being seen by hot girls.
5. Finally, (outside of Incognito Mode) I added a note to the top of my profile that was a call to action. I basically said that all the Incognito girls should hit “like” on my page and they shouldn’t be shy about doing it. I noticed an immediate increase in visible hot girls in my searches. In fact, the hot doctor was a girl who had been hidden under Incognito until my message convinced her to “like” me.
Match
Relationship
Can you find a relationship on Match? Of course. Do you want to? I don’t know. Match does all of the matching for you and it doesn’t really allow you to change to parameters. So, I just had to go with what it was giving me. And it fed me a lot of crap. These women surely want boyfriends and husbands (some desperately so), but I just didn’t find anyone I could get in to. A few of the women were hot, but I saw a lot hotter girls on the other sites. For what I paid to sign up, I was really disappointed in the quality on here. Also, this is clearly the site (perhaps along with Eharmony) that is used by career women who want to troll the internet looking for potential boyfriends in the laziest way possible. I also found match to be the site with the highest level of girls with “must have” and “dealbreaker” lists. Screw that. I have some pretty good credentials in that area, but even I was encountering a lot of “Oh, Princeton. That’s nice.” I didn’t meet up with a single woman from the site, although I had prolonged conversations with many (this included several Skype video chats). Again, for what I paid, I was very disappointed.
Bang
Don’t bother.
Final Analysis
I’m not feeling it. Maybe it’s because Match caters to the leftovers or something. Maybe it is because it is a non-religious site that pushes for marriage. But, there are just a lot of women with not a lot to offer a man on this site. And they seem to expect everything in return. It is the most expensive and the delivered the least. I would avoid it. Sorry Courtney.
Christian Mingle
Relationship
I did not like this site for finding relationship material. Not at all. First, I am convinced that Christian Mingle has more fake profiles than perhaps any other site (as a percentage of total users). There are several girls on there that have profiles that read like “recently retired 22-year-old virgin model looking for an average Joe, aged 25 to 50”. I never heard back… Second, there is a second type of “fake” profile on this site, and that is the Wall Seers. My Spidey sense went tingling on this site quite a bit. I have a suspicion that many of the “good girls” on Christian Mingle were actually on Tinder for a few years. Then, they woke up one morning, took one last Walk of Shame from Kappa Kappa Douche, and set up a Christian Mingle profile. I met up with four girls, just to see what was up. I will spare you the finer points, but they were all boring and three gave off a serious retired slut vibe. One actually straight up said within ten minutes of meeting that she has had some “pretty wild nights” but she doesn’t do that anymore. Um, thanks for telling me? If you are a Mainline Protestant or Baptist, you may get better results on here, as they tended to look suspiciously at my Papist ways, but I cannot, in good conscience, advise signing up for this site.
Bang
This section is going to be really short. Could a guy (better looking than me) with perfect game pull a bang off of Christian Mingle with ease? Perhaps. By bang, I mean she comes over and bangs you on the first meet – case closed. The problem is you are really only dealing with two types of girl on the site. The first are the actual good girls. The only way you are pulling that bang is if you trick her in to thinking she’s the future Mrs. You. Dick move. The second type of girl is the retired slut. The problem with them is that they’ve seen it all and they are desperately trying to lock a dude down before their 30th/35th/50th birthday. They’ll see your game and know what’s up. So. No joy here.
Final Analysis
Not worth it for a Catholic.
Catholic Match
Relationship
Eh. I found Catholic Match to be better than Christian Mingle. I will start out by saying this, many, if not most, of the girls on here appear to be much more sincere. I was getting a way lower slut vibe on this site (which is weird, because Catholic girls have a bit of a reputation). Also, this site allows you to screen for Catechist beliefs, so I singled out girls who fully accepted the Church’s teachings on premarital sex and contraception. I figured that would weed out many of the modernists. You can also search for girls who only go to Latin Mass, etc. I actually ended up talking to some Independent, sedevacantist, and Old Catholics. Oops. The Catholic guys on the forum will know what I’m talking about.
As I was getting to, the girls might be a better stock as goes morals, but they do not quite deliver in the looks department. I actually feel bad writing that, because there are many, many very decent girls on this site. But they are not aesthetically gifted. They just aren’t. A few pass the boner test, so I focused on those. But, a man really has to search for a needle in a haystack on this site. And, I found it to be demoralizing. I ended up meeting with six girls (so far) off of this site. Within the six, I had my first true international. She was from Sweden and was visiting her relatives in Michigan. I happened to be flying through, so we arranged to meet (after having messaged for several weeks). Messaging with and meeting with these girls felt like a job interview. Granted, I picked the most conservative Catholics, but, still, they wanted to know all about how Catholic I really was. And, many were more than happy to share their Catholic bona fides. Lots of homeschooling. Lots of brothers and sisters. Lots of wanting to get married before 25 and having ten kids. Come to think of it, I love the Catholic faith.
End of story, I have kept in touch with all of these girls. Three have – straight up – asked me if I would be interested in dating them exclusively with a mind towards discernment. I haven’t shot them down yet, so we’ll see how that develops.
Bang
Meh. I searched out some of the more “liberal” Catholic girls and tried a more direct approach, but it didn’t produce the results I was hoping for. Many of the girls that I was messaging indicated that they would be willing to have premarital sex with a guy “if they thought they might marry him”. I actually met two girls that I gamed with a more douchey persona. Nothing happened. Actually, it was a lot like talking to the conservative girls. The only difference is that these ones generally acknowledged that they “had made some mistakes in the past” and were only interested in a physical relationship if there was a serious commitment. And, honestly, it seemed like they meant it. I bailed on both and cut contact. Interestingly, Chad gaming on Catholic Match is the only time I got a “warning” from the site. Apparently, one of the girls reported me. I cut the act after that point.
Final Analysis
One of the better avenues for guys looking for something really serious. There are decent women on here and some diamonds in the rough. But, unless you actually are a Catholic (and the more practicing/devout the better), I would stay away. And be advised, it is probably going to be a slow burn.
Geographic Differences:
I found a difference between Canadian and American women (all in the Western parts of the countries). Generally, more girls were interested in LTR/marriage in the U.S. There were a number of women interested in LTRs in Canada, but they skewed older. Also, that difference (marriage vs. LTR) was stark. Canadian women seemed far more open to cohabitation and those kind of arrangements. American women who I placed in the “girlfriend/wife material” box almost always spoke of marriage.
As should be obvious, big cities accounted for an overwhelming majority of girls in the “bang” box. Specifically, Los Angeles, San Diego, Palo Alto (which surprised me), Phoenix, Tucson, and Denver.
I did not have as much success pulling girls to put in the “bang” box in Canada. Specifically, I found Vancouver, Victoria, Calgary, and Edmonton to be pretty dry for that. If I wanted to go dumpster diving, I would have had a field day. But, I found paltry results in girls who were; hot, not totally crazy, and DTF. For that, I would say large American cities are where it’s at.
Age Differences:
Again, I found great differences in age to category breakdowns. Obviously, there were far more older girls on all sites that were looking for LTR/marriage. Some were quite up front about it (“I’ve had my fun and now I’m ready to settle down.” - Thanks for letting me know). Some were clearly rationalizing or straight up lying (“I’ve always been a good girl. Now, I’m 33 and looking for a good man.” - Mmmmmhmmmmmm). The DTF “bang” box girls were generally all from the lower twenties, with the occasional upper twenties and lower thirties thrown in. I explain this with two phenomena. First, serious carousel riders age like Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis during the exorcism scene in Beetlejuice. By the time they are in their late twenties, they have often dropped entirely off the radar for many men (including me). Second, as we all well know, a lot of the smarter early twenties party girls turn in to the latter twenties “good girl looking for a husband”.
The exception here is on the religious sites, specifically the Catholic religious sites. There are a number of early twenties girls on these sites who are looking to get married. I can’t claim that the physical quality is great for a lot of them, but they’re there.
And on a final note, I can offer a great way to cut down on flaking, but turn up the clingyness factor to 11 – run online provider game on the women who are approaching or have hit the wall. I actually had to block a few of these girls after I started talking to them. “The thirst is real” and all that notwithstanding, I’m guessing these girls don’t get a lot of attention from serious or quality guys. When they do, they latch on like barnacles. Watch yourself.
Race Differences:
It pains me to write this, but I have to mention the obvious race differences here. On all the non-religious sites, the more sexually conservative “potential girlfriend” types were almost always not white. Asian, Latina, and, somewhat surprisingly, even Black. There was one white girl (the doctor) who checked a good number of boxes in this department. On the flip side, the DTF girls were a mix, but it was predominantly young white girls. I say this as a white man – what the hell has happened to white women? I grew up in an insular bubble of privilege. The most you could expect from Buffy Kensington-Smythe was a quick handy behind the shrubbery at her cotillion. Fast forward to my life now and I am getting messages from Masters students at good schools that read like a Penthouse Forum submission. Um. Something. Something. White Sharia. Because, seriously, we need to get these women under control.
General Assessment and Conclusion:
You actually read this far? Good for you. I would have given up long ago.
I say online dating can be useful, but only if included in a larger game plan. And, I make that claim whether you are looking for a quick bang, a long-term girlfriend, or even a wife. The religious sites offer little for any guy who isn’t looking to wife someone up. In the future, I will try all of the free sites before I ever attempt an expensive option like Eharmony. Online game isn’t quite dead, but I still find social circle to be preferable. If I get in to an LTR with any of the girls I’m gaming right now, or if I try out any other sites (which I plan to), I will report back.
Currently out of office.
