[DonovanVC]

I was hesitant to start a journal, as I feel my game is somewhere between beginner and intermediate, and I've kicked game on and off for the past 10 years. However, over the last few years (especially last 2 years) my results have gotten worse and I need to re-calibrate and re-strategize some.

The objective of this journal is to write down my experiences, allow me to evaluate, and hopefully make changes to increase my results.

Some background:

- I moved to East Asia 10 years ago in my early twenties and had some good results. That's when I found game.
- I moved back to the US, where I started to learning day game and had some very modest results coupled with social circle game.

- After I went to graduate school for consulting, and since I've started my career (the last 5 years), my results have slowly gone down, especially the past 2 years. Unfortunately, work as a consultant is insanely busy (50-65 hour weeks), but the money is getting good and I can't step away now, since I'm stacking some paper and paying down student loans. I got to move back to Asia for 18 months for part of this, which got me a few more lays, but am back in the US.

- I'm of Indian background. I feel I am above average looking, lighter skinned, look probably 7 years younger than I am but short (5'8). My fitness level is average, though in years past it was much better and its getting a lot better recently.
- As I've gotten older (now in my 30s), I've lost some interest in going out at night. Its also harder to go out back to back nights (actually, impossible). So I'm trying to do one weekend night a week (Fri or Sat) and mix it either with some day game or social circle game in mid week.

- I got online photos done a couple years ago but it didn't help my results in online game (though when I went abroad for work a year ago and used tinder, I laid like 3 girls in 4 weeks, but mind you that was Southeast Asia).
- I now live in Arizona While the girls here are hot and Fridays/Saturdays are fun, there are barely any good "weekday nights" and no city center type areas to kick good day game.

To get things started, I talked to forum member Cobra to help me diagnose my game and he mentioned that my disappearing results are probably a mix of spending a lot less time on game, and spending less time on things that worked for me in the past, like day game. Balancing game with a serious white collar career can be tough.

He also mentioned I likely need to increase my fitness level, so I've gotten a lifting program that's helping me build up that area.

In recent dates I've converted less, and we talked about how I'm probably planning dates less intelligently, where in the past I'd do fun dates that involved alcohol and now I seem to setting up boring middle of the day dates for some reason.

My program for the next couple of months is going to look like:

1) Going out once per weekend
2) Doing a social circle or day game activity in middle of week
3) Trying some online game. I downloaded CMB, had about 1-2 matches a day for the first few weeks and now am barely getting any matches.

Another wild card I have in my back pocket is music. As I'm a good EDM musician, I started recording an EP about 2 years ago and just started releasing the tracks this year. I'm trying to look for a way to convert this into some girls. The only kind of weird thing is when I go to EDM events, people tend to be wayyy younger and its getting a bit weird.

[DonovanVC]

Day 1 and 2

My first couple of weekend nights got off to a decent start. The first night I had a couple of good sets, at this arcade bar. The best set of this night were two girls staring at a particular game. We got to talking, and arguing whether the main character was Mario's brother. After awhile I started honing a bit more in on my target girl and we had some decent push pull in our interaction. Unfortunately, after awhile she just got less and less friendly and eventually it just died away.

I later hit up two other girls on the solo. This went for about 20 minutes and they seemed like they were ready to have me lead them to the next spot. Unfortunately I could not find my friend and in the confusion, they decided to leave. I got one girl's IG but didn't hear back from her till the next day, and then it died away.

Second night was stronger. I hit up about 4 decent groups. The best group were two Indian girls. The hotter one seemed pretty into me and started asking me a ton of questions. However, my friend wasn't holding down the fort with his girl and they walked away after about 10 minutes and seemed to stick to some guys they knew rest of the night.

I later hit up two other girls. One of them (unfortunately, the much uglier one, probably a 4), seemed to get really into me because I'm a musician, and added me to on IG. she later re-approached me, I guess I got proud but never hit her up after. I'm not sure I was attracted enough to pursue it.

[DonovanVC]

Day 3

This wasn't really a true night out. But we had a girl visit our office from one of our foreign offices. I'd met her in the past on a business trip in her region, but I never thought anything of it, other than the fact she was hot.

Somehow, no one took her out and near end of week we decided to spend the night and watch a basketball game. I try to stay away from office hook-ups, but as the night went on, the vibe got more flirtatious. Later that night, at a bar, she was laughing so much, her make up was going to run.

Once back in front of my apartment building, I thought I'd give it one soft push to see if she wanted to chill into the late night, but she said she wanted to go back, since she was going to fly to another city the next day. I felt the attraction strongly but decided to let it go. I might see her again soon anyway.

[Donfitz007]

Great content so far. Its nice to know you're actually out there trying. That last story sounded like a ROMCOM.

[Cobra]

When we chatted, I suggested you to see what you have control over and fix that first and do less of any activity that is proving to you that it doesn't work.

Like I said then, you have had success but no longer utilizing the same methods, environments and time commitment you had when you got that success. As a result you are seeing less success.

Why not spend some time day gaming on the weekend? I also mentioned venues like Whole Foods etc after work to pseudo "day game." If that's not your thing, you need to be honest with yourself and tell yourself you CHOOSE not to day game. By the same token also accept the consequences.

While you're on track, I think you may still be stuck in low return activity and if that ends up being the case, you may only see a marginal increase in returns. I would hate for you to blame your game on that when the real reason would be other factors.

We also spoke about date game but we can cover that as you get more of those.

Looking forward to your progress and helping you adjust along the way.

[DonovanVC]

Hey Cobra:

For sure, I remember your advice. I think the bigger problem for me, rather than spending time on activities that don't have a high ROI (night game) is that I just haven't spent enough consistent time on any game activities over the last 2 years. I do plan to include day game and my updates below will indicate my first experience adding it back in.

Day 4

My coworker came back for another week at our office. Again this week, I didn't plan on trying anything. But as the week ended, I again saw no one taking her out and I wanted to see what would happen if I tried again.

So on Friday we had a night out. It was like picking up right where we left off. I've really never connected or had such a good time with a girl, our humor played perfectly off of each other.

This girl is originally from the Middle East but now works in another region. Given that, and the fact she's a coworker, I didn't have a lot of expectations.

Later in the night, we were on the couch together at a venue. She started off sitting at a distance but another 30 mins later I had my arm around her and we were again very flirtatious. She was leaving the next day, so I knew had to try something.

However, after watching some music videos on my phone for awhile, she suddenly moves away and says "If you ever go to the middle east, you can't just put your arm around a girl in public. You can't be so american like that".

I didn't know if this was a shit test or not. Ironically, the music videos we were watching were middle eastern, so not sure if that sparked something. I just said ok and kept the dialogue going.

I decided i needed to try something given she was leaving the next day, but didn't want to make another physical attempt given her comment. So I told her I think she's cute and I felt we connected amazingly well, so we should see where this goes, and I asked her how she felt.

She responded ... "I think that's weird". I wasn't sure how to respond. I felt I delivered it well and I knew for sure I had led the night really well, from venue to venue. I just told her I'm being real and looked at her for a bit. IN any case, I kinda felt the vibe die after that. Given the fact we work at the same company, I decided not to push it any further and then just returned to small talk. Later I dropped her off and I'm not sure I'll see her again since our offices rarely ever meet.

In any case, no matter how it ended, this was a good experience for me. It got my date game solidified. This girl and i connected incredibly well and it was just teasing and push pull, mixed with some comfort game throughout. A lot of other nights out with girls I've had were way boring compared to this. I felt more confident after, especially since she was a solid 8.

Day 5

Its still mid week but I know I need to add some day game in. I tried to go to whole foods and see what would happen. Plus I had to go grocery shopping.

Overall...I didn't see a ton of potential. I was in the store for at least 30 minutes and only saw like 2 potential girls I could holler at. However, one's mom suddenly comes up to her out of nowhere. Then another girl, who was really hot, was on the phone. However, later on, I saw her off the phone and heading off to the cashier and I didn't run up to her.

I think I may need to try this on a Friday night or even on a weekend during the day time. As I was leaving the store, I saw 2 more hot girls walk in. But I'm not sure how much volume I can get out of this. When I had some success with day game in the past, I had access to crazy volume (Michigan avenue in Chicago). I might get like 1, maybe 2 decent sets at the grocery store on a weekday. I'll need to try visiting on the weekend, or perhaps have a weekend day where I mix up a few day time venues and see if I can get some volume that way...perhaps whole foods and a cafe.

--

Next Steps

For me, the next steps are to keep going out and trying to talk to girls regularly. I want to be able to hit about 10 solid approaches a week. If I go out Friday or Saturday, that could maybe get me 5. If I can perhaps do a solid outing of day game, I can perhaps get another 5. I'm not really sure how I can really get the numbers going to net results otherwise. Its tougher to get volume in these spread out, sprawling cities.

[DonovanVC]

Day 6

Today (Friday) was quite good. I think I'm getting closer.

It was the first Friday art show in downtown (a once a month event on first friday of each month). I headed out solo to the museum, with plans to later attend my friend's exhibit at another venue.

Girl 1

While at the museum, I approached a really hot brunette (probably an 8). She was looking at a picture of a banquet. A polish piece from like the 18th century. I told her that party looks super fun. She replied "it does". I told her I'd been to Poland and it was as fun as the picture was. She kind of laughed. But I felt awkward and didn't really push the convo further. I needed to give her time to get comfortable talking to a stranger and got impatient.

Girl 2

I saw a latina girl staring at some "furniture" art. I told her I just moved to a new apartment and was going to take this stuff to furnish my place. She started laughing. Unlike the previous girl, she started conversation back and we talked for awhile.

We then started to walk around the museum together and spent roughly the next hour just chatting and checking stuff out.

After the museum, I took her across the street to wine bar for a drink and some pizza. I felt good and there was some attraction. She started to get tired and talked about going home, as she had work the next day.

She came to the lobby of my apartment building but indicated she wanted to return home and hang next time. I told her instead to come to my friend's exhibit at another venue. She said she would drop me off.

When we got there, I tried to get her to park and come inside too but she insisted on going back. We exchanged numbers and IG accounts.

I then hung with my friend at the venue for awhile and then that was that.

The following day (Saturday) I traded a few texts with the latina girl. I'm not sure it will go somewhere. I think she might have a kid based on her IG, which kind of turns me off. After a few texts she didn't respond to my last text, so I'll try and see if she comes back the next day or restart in a day or two.

Overall, this was a great night. For me to just do 2 approaches at the museum and basically get an insta-date for the next 2 hours and change venues was awesome. I probably shoulda increased the drinking at the wine bar rather than just do 1. I also should have bounced to a third venue where I could have gotten more physical with her quickly (this place didn't have the right seating, but it had food, which is why I went).

--

Next Steps

Looking back on my experiences running game, this is the type of situation I do best in. Event type game, rather than strictly day game or night game. Unfortunately, its hard to fit all of this into the schedule. I like to mix event and day game, they work well together. However, if I do this kind of game on Saturday during the day, its hard to then also go out at night that same night. When I don't go out at night with some friends, I feel lonely, no matter how good the daytime was.

If I go out Friday night instead, I feel tired as shit on Saturday and can't get out to events or day game as early as I want.

I'm trying to figure out a schedule that works for me. Any ideas would be welcome.

[DonovanVC]

Overall this was an up and down week. I got a Day2/date, but couldn't get anywhere with her. I had a couple of approaches that didn't go anywhere either.

Day 7

I had a Day 2 with the girl I met at the museum (from Day 6). Mid week she texted me, I bantered back and then set up to meet at a bar close to my crib in the evening.

We started out at the bar just drinking and catching up. I did some light kino (she was talking about how in shape she was, I felt her guns up) and kept it funny. After that spot, we walked to another bar. I tried to put my arm around her as we were walking but she kind of slipped out. The next bar wasn't a great choice as there were no couches there and I had to sit next to her in another chair, but not close enough to be able to escalate physically at all.

She also just kept blabbering about one of her chick friends and I started to get insanely bored.

When we left, and as we walked towards our cars, we hugged and I tried to go for the make out. Unfortunately she kind of stepped away and said "stop it". I didn't really push it further and we said bye.

I texted her to make sure she got home ok and she texted me back. I haven't chatted with her since though (3 days ago).

I think my biggest failure was not finding a venue with a couch but honestly I haven't found one like that. There is 1 but was a bit far from where we were.

Day 8

This wasn't exactly a day dedicated to game. I went to a cafe to do some work and sat next to a pretty hot brunette. After awhile we started chatting but she wasn't very friendly. There were literally no other seats available so I stayed for about 90 minutes. Unfortunately this girl never left and after a couple of attempts to chat her up, I just left.

I was at the gym. I normally do not do gym approaches but there was literally no one else in this part of the gym except a super hot blonde. She actually looked at me and said hey how are you when I walked in. After I was done, I saw her sitting down just listening to music on headphones and staring at her phone. I went up to her to ask her something (she had a tripod, for some reason) but she didn't even look up at me. I don't know if I was being ignored or if she was just so into her phone she didn't notice me a foot away saying hi.

--

I did go out once at night this week but felt sick that day. I didn't get into whole foods or other cafe/day game, so need to try again this week.

[Donfitz007]

Tripod probably has something to do with Recording workouts....should be an interesting conversation starter next time you see her.

[DonovanVC]

Lack of updates recently...on family vacation that took up 2 whole weekends.

This week's updates are kind of disappointing. Like I mentioned in my previous posts, its just hard to find a decent number of girls to approach doing day game out here. I'm getting a bit worried since I started this thread 6 weeks ago and have only had dates with 2 girls.

I'm wondering what I need to do. Go back to night game?

Day 9

This was another First Friday, so the museums were open and I hoped to get a date out of this night like I did last time.

I hit the museum solo, but it was a disappointment. There were only 2 approachable sets the whole time I was there. The rest of the people there were all families, or girls on dates.

Girl 1

I was looking at a painting of some warrior princess on a horse. 2 girls standing next to me were also looking at it. I asked the cuter one "You ever attack people from a horse too?". She started laughing and told me "all the time".

I asked her if everyone ended up dead (like in the picture). She was like OMG and started reading the text next to the painting. But then her friend butted in for a bit. I should have just kept the convo going but then they started to walk off. This one was on me.

I walked around the museum for another hour and only saw one other decent set but the girl was super tall.

I left and met up with 2 buds and then we hit the streets and bars for a bit.

Girl 2

I was in a pretty cool, food court type bar. I saw some blonde and started talking to her. She was really cool but unfortunately had a boyfriend who was there. She happened to be president of the alumni society for my college and gave me her card and let me know she'll invite me to events, so I guess connection made...

I left the bar and hit up a bar that is basically a house. This place was totally cool.

Girl 3

I approached 2 latinas. One of them was real cute. We started chatting and I started giving one of them shit for repping the state of Texas too hard. They started following my music which was a nice DHV. We spoke for about a good 15 minutes. They then left to go back inside to get a drink but I did not see them again. I should have number close right then and there.

We ended up at a shitty more crowded bar later which was all huge mixed sets and I didn't make much progress there. Ironically I saw 2 girls I had approached a few weeks ago there, but didn't re approach them as they left quite quickly after I saw them. Must mean I'm approaching!

Day 10

This was Sunday so I decided to the coffee shop that usually has some hot girls. Unfortunately it was dead as hell today, probably because it was 108 out. There were only 2 cute girls there but sitting in spots I could not actually sit next to.

I worked for a bit on my laptop. As I was leaving I noticed a hot girl sitting outside by herself (fuck that heat though), but I did not approach her. I should have manned up and done it, despite normal coffee shop approaches being ones when you just talk to a girl sitting next to you. I could have "passed by" and said hi.

--

Overall this was a disappointing week. I disappointed myself by not pushing through on one set and not number closing on another. I was also disappointed by external factors in that I am spending a lot of time trying to do game but seeing very few sets. The only reason I got 4 sets this week is because I added night game into the mix.

I'm not against going back to night game but as I've discussed, it hasn't paid a ton of dividends in the past. Day game has been better for me historically but this isn't Chicago or NYC where you can run street game and get a crack at 20-30 sets in an outing. Its very tough when you go to a grocery store or coffee shop or even museum and see maybe 1 or 2 sets MAX in over 2 hours. The ROI is questionable.

Not sure what my next steps are but to keep trying to do a mixture of day and night game, especially where I can combine them into a single day. Or possibly do more "music" game and just focus on putting my music out there and hopefully meeting girls at open mics or shows that i eventually do.