Shy girls

kuningasvoittamaton · 03-02-2018, 01:48 PM

I used the search and didn't find anything about this so I made this thread.

Any tactics on shy girls? I met this shy girl and need help on how to pick her up.

She doesn't date and has never had a boyfriend. She seems to be really unsure of herself and is very shy. There are IOI's all over the place and she is flirting and joking about us dating but she instantly steps back and tells me she was just joking if I pursue. She told me she is not interested when I pushed her hard but again, all the IOI's are there and when I went on a date with another girl she was super jealous about it. She even sent me a text message when she was out drinking in the middle of the night asking if I met to the other girl that night. I also gave her a small gift (a safety reflector) and she is always holding and touching it. When I gave it to her she said thanks but tried to give it away to someone else but I said to her "I gave you this gift and are you gonna give it away?" and she changed her mind and kept it and now she is always touching it.

I wonder if shy girls like her need to have more comfort and trust before they go out with you etc.? Also they want to play a lot at first. Like they need to take babysteps and not just go for it.

My plan has been to get closer with her best friend and get her to trust me and feel comfortable with me that way. It has gone well so far as she asked me for lunch with them and was very happy when I later asked them to go with me.

I wonder if this is the best way to go? What are your thoughts? Has anyone any pro tips on this subject?

James Bond Next level · 03-02-2018, 03:56 PM

Answer this question: if her celebrity crush is willing, would she date him ? If it's no then you know the answer: next this crazy. But I'm gonna take a wild guess and say yes. Then the problem is only your SMV not her supposed shyness. Besides, it's obvious from your post that you are already comfortable with each other.

If she's shy and comfortable with you, she should be easily lead (in the bed or elsewhere). My advice ? Forget about gift, forget about shyness (more like a way to test you) and start making yourself unavailable for her. Let her see you with other girls, let her be jealous (super good thing actually), take hours to respond to her texts and after a while make it clear: you are not her toy, you are not "a sure thing". At this moment, when she feels all the masculine energy, I would even start kissing her hard and more, just to prove I don't buy her act, even if she's a legit virgin.

Anyway, your post smells like friendzone a mile away, I think you should have posted it in newbie.

kuningasvoittamaton · 03-02-2018, 05:27 PM

I have been unavailable for her as the girl I date is a very hot fitness girl. She has been very jealous of this and the fitness girl is hotter than her. Today she and her friend were joking with me about coming to my place for Sauna tonight. Her friend would come at 9 pm and she at 1 am after a music concert she was going to. It was funny banter all around and there was this sexual vibe. I don't believe that you would talk like this to a guy you friendzoned.

I guess I had SMV and dating someone else has made it higher. I am going to try to lead her and see what happens. Should I ask her for drinks just the two of us or in a small group and then isolate her? I did lead her when I asked her and her friend for a lunch and she did follow and even asked if we would take my sports car (I bought one sometime ago and have been getting shit about getting to impress girls).

I guess I was wrong with my thought about the babysteps. It is far more likely that I have SMV and she friendzoned me. I will let her be jealous and distance myself from her if things don't work out.

Keepiticy2 · 03-02-2018, 08:11 PM

I agree with James Bond, With one small exception. Don't just play the game of making her jealous and ignoring her text for hours! Rather you actually have other options and you ACTUALLY become busy. Develop a side business/way of making money, focus on your self, workout, meditate, etc. Keep your phone away, maybe check it every hour or so.

Think of all the older movies or hell even modern movies where the girl is sitting next to her phone waiting for the guy to text her. That guy has the power over her because she's thinking about him! She's going through scenario over scenario over scenario over her head. This isn't just fiction, This actually happens!

Plant strong seeds and passively let it grow. If you over water a plant it dies. If you plant the right seeds all the work will be done when you're absent.

The jealous part might work but only if she wants you in the first place. I don't think she friend zoned you yet, but she doesn't value you enough to care. In her mind she knows she can take you from your Girlfriend. That in itself is a confident boost for her

kuningasvoittamaton · 03-03-2018, 03:14 AM

I don't message her often and want to keep a little bit of mystery going on. I am somewhat busy and I do stuff on the side to make money like stock trading and sports betting. I also go to the gym.
I am travelling to New York this spring and to Japan in the summer and have been talking about those trips to her. She talks a lot about New York and has asked me to bring her something from there and she has told me about places to go. I think I can plant seeds by sending her cool pics from NY and later Japan.

Maybe I should also push her away a bit with the girlfriend. She is very fit and I could ask her to send me a progress pic and I could show it to my friends when she is present and make her doubt her looks.

James Bond Next level · 03-03-2018, 04:41 AM

Quote: (03-02-2018 05:27 PM)kuningasvoittamaton Wrote:

I have been unavailable for her as the girl I date is a very hot fitness girl. She has been very jealous of this and the fitness girl is hotter than her. Today she and her friend were joking with me about coming to my place for Sauna tonight. Her friend would come at 9 pm and she at 1 am after a music concert she was going to. It was funny banter all around and there was this sexual vibe. I don't believe that you would talk like this to a guy you friendzoned.

I guess I had SMV and dating someone else has made it higher. I am going to try to lead her and see what happens. Should I ask her for drinks just the two of us or in a small group and then isolate her? I did lead her when I asked her and her friend for a lunch and she did follow and even asked if we would take my sports car (I bought one sometime ago and have been getting shit about getting to impress girls).

I guess I was wrong with my thought about the babysteps. It is far more likely that I have SMV and she friendzoned me. I will let her be jealous and distance myself from her if things don't work out.

Maybe I was wrong about the friendzone, but I'm sensing more and more hesitation in your post. If you're relatively new to this, don't worry, it will disappear with time. As for now, you should remove hesitation from your habits and start to boss her around: her, you and drinks, period. You can have all the sport cars, muscles and hot girls, but if you hesitate, it screams to her "BETA".

Maybe you're not in friendzone, but you're her "toy". I had many girls that just flirt with me for the sake of it. We men have sports, video games, projects to occupy us whereas girls tend to flirt or socialize when they're bored.

So in a word, be more direct. When I was in Helsinki, I saw how passive average finnish are. I was however very direct and had insane result: kissing two girls at the same time (I think I made a finnish guy chocke when he saw me) and pulling a lot, including the sexiest girl (easily a model) I ever banged.

kuningasvoittamaton · 03-03-2018, 05:36 AM

You are correct with the passiveness most Finns have. I am usually more direct and that got me that fitness girl. This shy girl seems different and that's why I made this thread. I am hesitant because being direct didn't work but she still gives me IOI's. Maybe she is afraid that I just want to fuck her and is afraid of her reputation? She is insecure and shy and has little experience in dating.

I am leaning towards leading her and showing high SMV. I know there is a nightclub she wants to visit and plan on going there with my friend and then sending her msg and telling her to come join us. Then I would be nice to her but dance with other girls and talk to them and make her fight for my attention.

If she says no I will say later that I knew you wanted to go there and thought you would feel left out if I didn't ask you to join us.

Kieran · 03-03-2018, 08:38 AM

Stop beating around the bush. If anything you need to lead more in this case than usual because she won't take any initiative. Pull back a little if she's very shy and feels like things are moving too quickly, but you still need to be escalating and make it clear that you are interested in her romantically, not as friends.

Also, going out and looking for other women is better for you than asking for advice on forums about how to get this girl. Thinking how to get a girl causes you to invest emotionally, which will make it more difficult to act in a way that's attractive around her. You want her to be doing the thinking.

kuningasvoittamaton · 03-04-2018, 11:14 AM

Things didn't go as I planned. I went to the club with my friend and there was so much going on and I was gaming women all night. I decided not to invite her because I have options so I should not act like she is the one or anything like that.

mensch · 03-04-2018, 04:27 PM

What is your living situation? Could you invite her to have dinner at your place? In any case, do something more intimate. Usually, shy girls prefer things like that over going out clubbing.
Also, make sure it's direct; do not invite her best friend - why would you want that? You want her to feel like you're interested, as she's probably unsure of herself.

~~Spartacus~~ · 03-09-2018, 11:31 AM

I kinda prefer confident ones over shy ones

kuningasvoittamaton · 03-10-2018, 05:25 PM

I dropped her because I found out that she didn't like me that way. I think the flirting etc. was just to boost her bad self confidence. Rest was my imagination. I am pissed because I think I am above her level and would have settled. I think there was some oneitis too as now I see that she isn't really a nice girl like I thought she was.

Kieran · 03-11-2018, 06:17 AM

How did you find out that she didn't like you romantically?

kuningasvoittamaton · 03-11-2018, 01:13 PM

This is a bit embarrassing but she was whining that she had never gotten any flowers on International Women's Day so I got her some and she freaked out. She told me that she doesn't want to be more than friends and I told her that the flowers were just because she whined about not getting them. Things have been weird ever since and I distanced myself from her and she was been angry and almost hostile at me. Last time I saw her she even tried to boss me around.

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