[This Is Trouble]

Have a few options on where I want to take my life. The thread title is one of them.

I’ve reached a point where I enjoy work and building my business more than anything else. I do think that gaming all the time hurts my productivity significantly. At the same time, so does travel - but I still want to see more of the world than I’ve seen.

I also know myself, and know that gaming + consistent travel at the same time is completely nuclear disaster for productivity.

So, what’s your thoughts - is doing the travel thing with a girl in tow a feasible option?

I’m less concerned about the money or living situation of it. I’m consistently generating five figures of passive income, so that’s handled. We’ve also spent enough time living together that it doesn’t concern me. We have traveled together before for an extensive period of time (about a month), with no real issues.

I guess my biggest concern is just keeping her busy enough so I can focus on work.

I have flat out told her I will boot her out of the apartment or house a couple days a week, and send her out on free walking tours or something to take photos that will benefit my business and brands. She has a knack for photography and would like to improve. She is also keen on trying to build up some freelance clients and maybe pursue her own business ventures down the road.

But, she is still a girl. And she is young, and the type of feminine who really needs that guidance in life. She has the intellect, but it’s going to fall on me to provide the guidance. It is a lot to bear on me, I can see that just by writing this post and having thought this all through many times already.

There are a million small details and nuances that you could question me on for pages, but I’m hoping this provides a macro enough level overview that some people will chime in with advice.

Have you ever tried to do this, and if so, how’d it turn out?

[Beta Blocker]

Yes. It was good while it lasted. Depending on her nationality visas will become an issue sooner or later. If you don’t marry her you’ll have to move on. Unless you’re ok with doing a shortlist of the same countries.

[This Is Trouble]

(02-08-2018 08:29 AM)Beta Blocker Wrote:  

Yes. It was good while it lasted. Depending on her nationality visas will become an issue sooner or later. If you don’t marry her you’ll have to move on. Unless you’re ok with doing a shortlist of the same countries.

Thanks, the visas will be a pain for sure. We’d also make our part time home base her home country, which is a place I like.

[Beta Blocker]

If you’re smart you’ll use it as an opportunity to get dual citizenship and perhaps some other benefits in exchange for your citizenship.

[Dulceácido]

My dad used to say, "if you really want to get to know someone, go on a trip with them." Sounds like you've done that already. Seems legit. Maybe you're different from me, though. Just so much easier to travel alone. I hate waiting on people. It's unbearable. I'd rather just roll solo.

[This Is Trouble]

(02-08-2018 08:55 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

My dad used to say, "if you really want to get to know someone, go on a trip with them." Sounds like you've done that already. Seems legit. Maybe you're different from me, though. Just so much easier to travel alone. I hate waiting on people. It's unbearable. I'd rather just roll solo.

“Just so much easier to travel alone.”

Yes, it is. I disliked having family with me on trips, and even having friends whom I traveled city to city with. I haven’t minded her on the trips we’ve taken (totally could change over the long term, I realize).

I wouldn’t even consider it if she wasn’t so easy-going and happy to do whatever I want almost all the time, heh.

[CleanSlate]

(02-08-2018 08:55 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

My dad used to say, "if you really want to get to know someone, go on a trip with them."

Your father is a smart man.

TIT, you said she has a knack for photography. How about she try to pick up paid photography gigs as she travels with you? Wedding photos, portraits, etc...

[This Is Trouble]

(02-08-2018 09:04 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

(02-08-2018 08:55 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

My dad used to say, "if you really want to get to know someone, go on a trip with them."

Your father is a smart man.

TIT, you said she has a knack for photography. How about she try to pick up paid photography gigs as she travels with you? Wedding photos, portraits, etc...

Asia would be on the list...maybe you or someone else there has one coming up? Hah!

In all seriousness, I’m not sure it would be feasible in all places with visas. Potentially in places we stayed more than a month, it could be an option (I know diddly-squat about that kind of business).

[Beta Blocker]

My experience having her work was that it interfered with domestic duties for chump change. Just from the hassle of getting her the tourist (far easier) vs. working visa (often impossible) it wasn’t worth it.

If you really really need the money, maybe. Even off the books many of the same problems. At most I’d advise her to work while in her home country. Keeps her from wasting all her time on the “visiting family and friends” routine.

[Dulceácido]

Dude, fucking visas have been the bane of my existence since 2000... They will fuck your life up.

[luckskywalker]

Kinda on the same situation here. Been with a girlfriend from FSU for a while and we traveled to some European countries together. Been pretty good so far. It's pretty easy because she does whatever I want to. What bothers me later on the travel is I when want to get some work done, her lack of things to do end up falling into me trying to do more stuff with her. I guess because I am actually "living" more than traveling, and for her is the traveling moment.

What I thought at the moment is:
- Her trying to do 1-2 sports, so she goes out of the home everyday for 2-4 hours;
- Pursuing some online master degree or general;
- Trying the business route. But as you said, I know for sure that I will be bombarded with questions 100% of the time and I will end up taking care of her stuff. No thanks;
- Her meeting new friends.

About visas: pain in the ass for a lot of countries, but founds some ways to be in the EU for a year.

Don't know about you, but for now I still send her back to her country for a while, so not living together 100% of the time.

[This Is Trouble]

That’s great advice, and suggestions about things to pass the time.

I definitely agree, the gym (separately) is a must. That’s ideally 2 hours she’s gone and 2 for you, too. Doing EVERYTHING together is a kiss of death for those of us who like space.

The meeting new friends thing is tough.

How many girls, other than loud-mouthed American ones, can really do that well, every month in a new place. Heh.

[Dulceácido]

Not gonna happen. Don't depend on that.

[Beta Blocker]

The easiest thing for me was to get her massage certified. I got a daily professional massage from her which is what I really cared about. To be really good she’ll need an anatomy and physiology class.

She could do massages on the side as informal location independent income. A decent rate would be $40-60 cash per massage in the West. Do that 2-4 times per day and it’s a significant income while you work from home in the other room.

It’s almost a worthless skill in the developing world though. Anywhere, still kind of a hassle, unless it’s something she only does for family and friends.

Use word of mouth and keep it within a social circle. You don’t want to be accused of trafficking. Or have her going out to meet strangers at their place.

Of course you’re supposed to get formally licensed. But it’s not like practicing medicine. No law enforcement is gonna care if she’s giving friends a few massages for cash. There’s no law against giving your friends a back rub.

[John Dodds]

(02-09-2018 12:19 AM)Beta Blocker Wrote:  

The easiest thing for me was to get her massage certified. I got a daily professional massage from her which is what I really cared about.

Off topic
Oh yeah, what every guy wants, his girlfriend running her hands all over other guys. In Asia the local police will arrest her, they run all massage and are very protective of their business.

On topic
Travelling with women always pulls you down, apart from China, every country I've visited has easily available women, no point in dragging one around with you, and all the added expense and aggravation that entrails. Do your really want to deal with all the guilt and tantrums she puts on you?

[Lighter]

(02-09-2018 12:25 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  

(02-09-2018 12:19 AM)Beta Blocker Wrote:  

The easiest thing for me was to get her massage certified. I got a daily professional massage from her which is what I really cared about.

On topic
Travelling with women always pulls you down, apart from China, every country I've visited has easily available women, no point in dragging one around with you, and all the added expense and aggravation that entrails. Do your really want to deal with all the guilt and tantrums she puts on you?

If you're willing to walk away (and she knows it), then you won't have to deal with guilt or tantrums. Having a stronger frame than her is essential.

On to the question, I know a Vietnamese girl that does freelancing VA work on Upwork and travels. She makes 4-5k USD/month from Upwork and other freelance jobs. She works over 40 hour weeks, but even working a little less than her could still make a solid $1k/month. Always something to look into.

You could also have her become your PA as a way to build up a portfolio to start freelancing. That is what the VN girl mentioned did to get started. The downside is she eventually made more than her BF and left.

[Nascimento]

(02-09-2018 12:25 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  

On topic
Travelling with women always pulls you down, apart from China, every country I've visited has easily available women, no point in dragging one around with you, and all the added expense and aggravation that entrails. Do your really want to deal with all the guilt and tantrums she puts on you?

Not everyone wants to keep actively pursuing and banging easy girls all the time.

There are pros and cons to both sides. He's asking about how to make the most of it if he decides on it and is aware there are some drawbacks that have to be planned for. What you're saying is in reality off topic.

[Nascimento]

(02-09-2018 12:25 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  

On topic
Travelling with women always pulls you down, apart from China, every country I've visited has easily available women, no point in dragging one around with you, and all the added expense and aggravation that entrails. Do your really want to deal with all the guilt and tantrums she puts on you?

Not everyone wants to keep actively pursuing and banging easy girls all the time.

There are pros and cons to both sides. He's asking about how to make the most of it if he decides on it and is aware there are some drawbacks that have to be planned for. What you're saying is in reality off topic.

@K, you know that I don't have the personal experience to advise you on this . If I were in your position though, I'd try it for a 3 month stint, so it would be an extension of the one month you did with her once. You'll have a better idea I think of how feasible this plan is with (her) for the long term.

Worst case you could just send her back home. If anything this would be a good chance to see if she's a girl you can seriously have in your life for the long haul. I also recognize you're not doing this with any girl, as you've known her for a while.

[This Is Trouble]

Thanks for the responses everyone.

Quote:

The easiest thing for me was to get her massage certified. I got a daily professional massage from her which is what I really cared about. To be really good she’ll need an anatomy and physiology class.

She could do massages on the side as informal location independent income. A decent rate would be $40-60 cash per massage in the West. Do that 2-4 times per day and it’s a significant income while you work from home in the other room.

If she's going to start her own gig, it's gonna be with something I have experience and can guide her in. I can teach her online business while she looks over my shoulder. Having to teach her to hustle that kind of work isn't even worth my time.

Quote:

Travelling with women always pulls you down, apart from China, every country I've visited has easily available women, no point in dragging one around with you, and all the added expense and aggravation that entrails. Do your really want to deal with all the guilt and tantrums she puts on you?

If I was concerned about that I wouldn't even be considering this situation. She knows her place.

Quote:

On to the question, I know a Vietnamese girl that does freelancing VA work on Upwork and travels. She makes 4-5k USD/month from Upwork and other freelance jobs. She works over 40 hour weeks, but even working a little less than her could still make a solid $1k/month. Always something to look into.

You could also have her become your PA as a way to build up a portfolio to start freelancing. That is what the VN girl mentioned did to get started. The downside is she eventually made more than her BF and left.

I have thought about this a lot, and I think it's a feasible option to get started.

Of course, the concern is then - business + pleasure? It's one thing to mentor her on her own projects, it's another to put my business in her hands and demand she perform.

Quote:

Not everyone wants to keep actively pursuing and banging easy girls all the time.

There are pros and cons to both sides. He's asking about how to make the most of it if he decides on it and is aware there are some drawbacks that have to be planned for. What you're saying is in reality off topic.

@K, you know that I don't have the personal experience to advise you on this . If I were in your position though, I'd try it for a 3 month stint, so it would be an extension of the one month you did with her once. You'll have a better idea I think of how feasible this plan is with (her) for the long term.

Worst case you could just send her back home. If anything this would be a good chance to see if she's a girl you can seriously have in your life for the long haul. I also recognize you're not doing this with any girl, as you've known her for a while.

Sink or swim at it's finest!

I appreciate the feedback my man.

[Elster]

I met my bonnie wee lass during a vagrant adventure, she had my same plan literally: Go north,and figure it out.
A while passed till we got on as we relied on each other professionally for support and verifying our current status as to the trip.
We literally spent almost every waking minute together for the entire duration of the journey.
We discovered that despite our differing origins, we worked together like clockwork and had similar and/or complimenting interests and abilities.

Eventually my brambled noggin realized that I would forever and in coming eternities regret it if we parted ways.
I was very lucky ^_^

[Lighter]

(02-09-2018 03:09 AM)This Is Trouble Wrote:  

I have thought about this a lot, and I think it's a feasible option to get started.

Of course, the concern is then - business + pleasure? It's one thing to mentor her on her own projects, it's another to put my business in her hands and demand she perform.

My mom has worked for my dad's business as a PA for over 20 years. His advice has always been: "at work she is just another employee, not my wife."

The other benefit that he told me is that he didn't like my mom working for another man. In addition, he was free to give her time off to raise kids or maintain the house.

Obviously, it isn't for every couple. He started off with her doing small and relatively unimportant work that he didn't feel like doing. Gradually bumping her up to more important mission critical work as us children became more independent.

[Suits]

OK, she likes photography. Wedding/event photography is generally a very location dependent business, but editing wedding photographs is not.

If she's got skills in that department, maybe that's the direction to go in.

Remember, if you're already covering expenses for the two of you, she won't need to work for top dollar to generate a profit, because it will all be profit.

[aguasin]

I'm in a similar situation, but sent her back home because things were heading south after trying it out for six months. Now she's pregnant and wants to keep it. FML

There are a lot of downsides to trying to make that situation work. What attracts you to them in the first place, becomes something you end up hating in the end.

[asdfk]

Tried it three times and it failed miserably. What I learned: test, test, test. Start small, with low investment. We cannot give you good advice because there are 100s of things that can go wrong. You don't know beforehand what will cause trouble.

Start slow. See if it works and if it does not cut her loose.

I have met a few couples who have done it succesfully... but its hard.

[This Is Trouble]

Yes, I agree. Every situation like this will have huge differences from as big where you can both go with visas to as small as whether you like the same foods.

Why did yours not work out, if you don’t mind?