[iknowexactly]

I'm a LTR oriented guy getting ready to move to EE, and I've been thinking about this since looking at EE women, where it's more achievable to actually marry a 8-9.

The question I have is how long will beauty keep you hot for her?

One one hand, I've had girlfriends who were 5-6, and I was uncomfortable always looking around at the 8's or whatever.

I felt is makes sense to want variety, but when you actually think your woman is inferior, that's just not a good setup.

ON the other, I had a girl who was an 8.5 and she only wanted it once a week, which was obviously hopeless.

I believe OldNemesis argued ( I forget where) that looks would be low on his list for LTR.

So for guys who've been in LTR's, what's your take on this?

Guys who really just don't want girlfriends still probably have some ideas on this.

[K-man]

(09-14-2011 01:44 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

I've had girlfriends who were 5-6, and I was uncomfortable always looking around at the 8's

Keep in mind that if your wife is an 8 and above, all the other dudes will always be looking at her when she is out, and hitting on her when you are not around, and even sometimes when you are.
How would you feel when she goes for a girl's night out, or when she goes to the beach for a week when you have to stay in town and work? Takes a lot of trust to have a wife like that, and you can't afford to slip on your badboy alpha vibe, which gets tiring after a while.

Things are very different when you are just screwing her - then you can say big deal, if she leaves for something better, I'll just get a new hoe to bang next week. But what if she's your wife and you have kids - then you automatically have this "I can't afford to lose her" mentality which really messes up your inner game.

That's just one reason not to put looks in the first place when looking for a wife.
Regarding your question "How long will beauty keep you hot for her?" the answer is a few months to a few years, tops. Does not matter if she's an 8 or a 9 or a 10, after you've hit that ass several hundred (thousand?) times, you won't be so hot for her.
Now don't get me wrong, I still enjoy fucking my wife but it's not that much because she's hot (which she is) - it's more of a bonding activity.

[Magnum]

I've had two live in LTR's with 7-8 type girls and I think it depends on how sweet a girl she is as far as getting sick of her goes.The first one I got sick of shagging her after about 18 months and the second one took about 4 years to get sick of it.The first one was way more of a bitch so that kills attraction alot quicker for me.

Don't forget though you may get sick of her for a while but a smart girl will pick up on it and organise a trip away or buy new clothes or do something else to get you back into her.Other girls will just try to find another guy to jump to once they get the vibe you don't care lol.

[Pilgrim37]

How ever hot and sexy your squeeze is it's natural for others to catch your eye.

We are programmed to spread our seed.

Whether you act on it depends how much you've got to lose.
You've got to weigh up the balance of payments!

Also,depends on how broad minded your Mrs is...she might be into open relationships etc
Then you have to ask yourself how happy are you to know your woman's sucking another guy's cock....that's where most guys decide on monogamy

[Pete]

No matter how hot I always get bored at the 6 month mark. Haven't found the exception yet.

[MikeCF]

Looks alone get old once you've shot huge loads into them.

I was with a girl who was so hot that I enjoyed watching her get dress in the mornings.

If looks are all she has, you'll lost interest after about the 50th time you've banged her.

[satanova77]

I have thought long and hot about this one....and fantasized about my perfect woman or any woman on TV or Movies or Model that i thought could be perfect lookswise and even inside....

I know for a fact now that there is no "ONE" woman in the world that can keep me happy in a marriage or long term relationship....

Looks fade and all the cute lil things that make you like her turn into annoyances...

Dont even get me started on marriage...the way society has marriage set up gives all power to the Lizard and even a giggly cutie turns into Attilla the HUN....

[Parlay44]

I heard Howard Stern say one time ...Show me a hot girl and I'll show you a guy that's tired of fucking her. LOL

It's in our nature to get bored and look elsewhere. That's why I don't see it as strange when groups like Saudis and Mormons practice polygamy.

[wolf]

iknowexactly your problem will be solved with having at least two chicks.

You're trying to get something that is unrealistic.

[Caligula]

What about just having a main girl that you're happy with for most LTR purposes. Good sex, pretty enough and good personality traits. And then just get as much play as you like on the side to keep things interesting? She doesn't even need to be stunning since this becomes less relevant once you're used to her.

I don't think there's any escape from eventually tiring of a girl. Especially if you're experienced and have been around. She might be blonde and suddenly you have a craving for an olive skinned brunette, etc.

Most girls instinctively understand this and will overlook (or at least not actively seek to find out about) your infidelities as long everything else in the relationship works.

[speakeasy]

This article may not apply to everyone here, but it gives an interesting case for why some people just shouldn't get married:

http://xenlogic.blogspot.com/2011/08/rel...2-why.html

I suspect a high number of guys on this forum just aren't cut out to be relationship material and should seriously consider staying out of marriage unless they are willing to change themselves on a fundamental level. Remember that marriage is a social construct and something we are conditioned to want to have one day in order to be a mature responsible person, kinda like the way we are conditioned that graduating from college and finding a 9-5 office job is the hallmark of being an adult. There are some good things about marriage but it's not something everybody has to participate in. Us guys here are more variety-oriented than the average guy, probably WAY more. We're going to have a hell of a tough time in a monogamous situation. Especially when you have kids and legal/financial entanglements involved. I think there are some men who are naturally more inclined to marriage. I know guys that do not turn their head when a hot piece of ass walks by. They aren't girl crazy. They aren't talking about sex all the time and constantly looking for the next pink hole to stick it in. Guys like that are better equipped to be happy fucking the same woman for 50 years. Whether that's entirely a biological temperament or not, I don't know. But if your variety-orientation is very strong, you should really rethink marriage because you are probably just going to make two miserable people in the end. Maybe more if you have kids.

[Magnum]

Sure,you will always want to fcuk other girls no matter how hot your mrs is,but I dont know how some guys tire of hot girls so quick.I mean,i can still find my mrs attractive and enjoy having sex with her even while actively lusting after other broads.

[oldnemesis]

(09-14-2011 01:44 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

I'm a LTR oriented guy getting ready to move to EE, and I've been thinking about this since looking at EE women, where it's more achievable to actually marry a 8-9.
The question I have is how long will beauty keep you hot for her?

One one hand, I've had girlfriends who were 5-6, and I was uncomfortable always looking around at the 8's or whatever.

ON the other, I had a girl who was an 8.5 and she only wanted it once a week, which was obviously hopeless.

This triggers a reality check alarm as it looks like your expectations are too high. Basically you want to marry a hot 8-9 in her early twenties, who'd be in a hot sex (i.e. more like a city party girl, not some religious conservative girl from a village). At the same time you're in your late fifties, you don't speak the language, and your income would be around $2000/mo which is higher than local standards, but not impressive even for Ukraine unless you want to live in a remote village. And if you go for the cream of the crop, you'll be facing some major competition - there are some really rich people even in EE.

If I described the situation accurately, you may have hard time to find what you're looking for, and it is unlikely you'll actually have a lot to choose from. Cheating may be another concern - most girls in such situation won't consider your relationship long-term (i.e. in 15 years she gonna be 35, which is still young, and you gonna be 70 which is quite old), so they'll tend more to treat you as disposable. So your main concerns here should be how long she would stay with you, and whether she gonna cheat on you.

Quote:

I believe OldNemesis argued ( I forget where) that looks would be low on his list for LTR.

Close to the bottom. I don't think I ever fucked a girl more than twice just because of her looks; usually it was just once.

[oldnemesis]

(09-14-2011 03:25 AM)K-man Wrote:  

Keep in mind that if your wife is an 8 and above, all the other dudes will always be looking at her when she is out, and hitting on her when you are not around, and even sometimes when you are.

In Russia we say "a beautiful wife will never be just yours".

[Tim9000]

(09-14-2011 10:34 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

... Cheating may be another concern - most girls in such situation won't consider your relationship long-term (i.e. in 15 years she gonna be 35, which is still young, and you gonna be 70 which is quite old), so they'll tend more to treat you as disposable. So your main concerns here should be how long she would stay with you, and whether she gonna cheat on you.

Yeah. Despite Roissy's assertion that a man with solid game should have a woman at least 10 years younger, I don't think the largest possible age gap makes sense when getting married even within your own culture. Ten years age difference is fine with a great girl, but it really depends on the girl. Last year I was dating a fairly hot woman 15 years younger. The problem was, I could tell she liked getting attention from men a bit too much. She seemed really into me, and we had something in common which would have been a decent advantage for me if I wanted to steer her toward an LTR, but a quick calculation made me realize that I had to treat her as a short-term piece of ass. There was no way I was going to risk being 50 and married to a 35yo attention whore. If she kept her looks, it was not going to work out for me. It sucks when you need to let a hot one go, knowing her nature better than she does.

[Tim9000]

(09-14-2011 01:44 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

I'm a LTR oriented guy getting ready to move to EE, and I've been thinking about this since looking at EE women, where it's more achievable to actually marry a 8-9.

The question I have is how long will beauty keep you hot for her?

One one hand, I've had girlfriends who were 5-6, and I was uncomfortable always looking around at the 8's or whatever.

I felt is makes sense to want variety, but when you actually think your woman is inferior, that's just not a good setup.

ON the other, I had a girl who was an 8.5 and she only wanted it once a week, which was obviously hopeless.

Some researchers say that it is typically 18 months. If that's true and I come to believe it (I'm not convinced it will be even close to that short if I choose well) my life planning will change quite a bit. I'd dump the idea of getting married until I'm not that interested in sex anymore. Right now, I'm operating under the assumption that with the right woman, sex would stay damn hot for a few years and least slightly hot for a couple of decades. It definitely does for some people.

[Tim9000]

(09-14-2011 04:35 AM)Magnum Wrote:  

I've had two live in LTR's with 7-8 type girls and I think it depends on how sweet a girl she is as far as getting sick of her goes.The first one I got sick of shagging her after about 18 months and the second one took about 4 years to get sick of it.The first one was way more of a bitch so that kills attraction alot quicker for me.

Four years sounds like a pretty good run. Can you say why you think it lasted that long?

[iknowexactly]

"A beautiful women is never really yours."

Ha ha, Russians really have the guts to face the bleak truths!
That's part of why I like that culture, people aren't walking around with Disneyland inside their heads, thinking it's reality.

Thanks to all, you've generously put a lot of work into helping me see my blind spots and sharing your experiences.

Comments have helped me realize more fully that even though you may be married, you're still in a game even if you'd like to be sincere and naive.

But I'd rather be able to be "head-over-heels", impregnate a beauty, get ditched, write a song, start over, and remain as stupid as possible. If I have any ability to pick, she'll take into consideration the kids's feelings. Hell, I'm perverse enough to encourage her to boff her Spetznaz stud, as long as I can call her a slut while I'm doing her!!

In Zen teaching, I've heard that this is a way that a teacher compliments a student-- "He's really stupid."

Just have to be ready for the riptides.

Nietzsche said (clumsy paraphrase here ) that someone trying to achieve something special might actively remain ignorant because being "smarter" would interfere with his goals.

I have to admit there is a peculiar delight in being particularly stupid on purpose.

[Magnum]

(09-14-2011 11:44 PM)Tim9000 Wrote:  

(09-14-2011 04:35 AM)Magnum Wrote:  

I've had two live in LTR's with 7-8 type girls and I think it depends on how sweet a girl she is as far as getting sick of her goes.The first one I got sick of shagging her after about 18 months and the second one took about 4 years to get sick of it.The first one was way more of a bitch so that kills attraction alot quicker for me.

Four years sounds like a pretty good run. Can you say why you think it lasted that long?

Well,four years was when I started chasing other women harder.I was with her for five and a half.I think it lasted that long due to her feminimity and her being pretty good between the sheets.I also liked her group of friends so there was no day to day friction.But yeah,you still want to sleep with every hot girl you see no matter how nice your girlfriend is.

[oldnemesis]

(09-15-2011 12:02 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

"A beautiful women is never really yours."
Ha ha, Russians really have the guts to face the bleak truths!

I say that to chicks in bars here. If this is something you consider "having the guts", you'll get a culture shock as soon as you start talking to people there, as this is nothing.

[oldnemesis]

(09-14-2011 11:27 PM)Tim9000 Wrote:  

Yeah. Despite Roissy's assertion that a man with solid game should have a woman at least 10 years younger, I don't think the largest possible age gap makes sense when getting married even within your own culture.

Personally I'd never listen to any relationship advice from Roissy, especially for this kind of scenarios. His game advice is good, but relationship is very different area. It is like asking Tiger Woods how to improve your marathon results.

[Laner]

Quote:

What about just having a main girl that you're happy with for most LTR purposes. Good sex, pretty enough and good personality traits. And then just get as much play as you like on the side to keep things interesting? She doesn't even need to be stunning since this becomes less relevant once you're used to her.

I don't think there's any escape from eventually tiring of a girl. Especially if you're experienced and have been around. She might be blonde and suddenly you have a craving for an olive skinned brunette, etc.

Most girls instinctively understand this and will overlook (or at least not actively seek to find out about) your infidelities as long everything else in the relationship works.

This is what I have been working towards for some time. I have an amazing main girl, who I have been with for six years. At first it was off and on as I chased skirt around the world. But it would not take long before I would end up back with her. I managed a stretch of about 18 months in monogamy before I quit. It was at this point that I had a talk with her, and put it on the line. She knew I chased a lot of women and I said that because she knew this about me, she should not fool herself into thinking that she will be able to change me. If she could accept that, then we could start planning a bit more of a future together. If not, she owed it to me to admit it and we could separate.

Some of the reasons that I have not tired of her:

- Loves sex
- Amazing cook (and cooks for me all the time)
- Very feminine
- keeps very fit (I need a tight body)
- loves to travel, and is willing to give up high paying soul crushing types of jobs to have more freedom
- dresses VERY well (hugely important to me)
- Not too consumeristic
- Great with children and elders

If she was a 7.5 when I met her, I still see her as about a 7. Aged in the face a bit, but the body is still just as tight.

[iknowexactly]

(09-15-2011 03:52 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(09-15-2011 12:02 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

"A beautiful women is never really yours."
Ha ha, Russians really have the guts to face the bleak truths!

I say that to chicks in bars here. If this is something you consider "having the guts", you'll get a culture shock as soon as you start talking to people there, as this is nothing.

Well, I am in need of some shock therapy after staring into a computer for 3 years.

But when you say this to a chick, it's a compliment. "You're so hot, you're really untamable and guys will always be after you. "

But I still maintain it's anti-Disney

[oldnemesis]

(09-15-2011 11:55 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

Well, I am in need of some shock therapy after staring into a computer for 3 years.
But when you say this to a chick, it's a compliment. "You're so hot, you're really untamable and guys will always be after you. "

Nah, I always did it in reference to other chicks like movie stars, never the one I'm talking about.

The one you quoted I'd never be even able to say, I'd probably puke half the way through. For me it is rather "It is you who should buy a drink; you think women are weaker sex or what?"