[Kharn]

I've just stopped being a beta a couple years ago, I'm 19 and have a decent amount of experience cold approaching anyone in anywhere.

That being said, I have no experience whatsoever when I'm dealing with friends. I'm pretty close to some girls, there is this one I've seen just as a friend from quite a while now, we go out with our friends all the time, she lives nearby so she comes to my house and we talk, play games and watch some TV, her face is a solid 10 and her body is an average 7, I'm not stupid, I'm not a white knight or anything, but I have no idea if I should have something more with her. She says she is not interested in anyone like that, still she treats me better than everyone else, we have a strong connection and she gives me all signs that she is interested despit her words, sometimes when I feel like doing something but I decide to hold myself back she calls me slow.

Yet, I'm not sure if I should or not go for it, I have some strong feelings for her, and I know she is a keeper because she avoids everyone else just to be with me. But her games always make everything more confusing. So I would like some opinions from outsiders. I know it might look obvious for some people, this whole situation is incredibly stupid for me too, but I'm new to the game, and a complete noob when dealing with friends, so any insight would be welcome

[PapayaTapper]

What women say they want and what they really want are usually 2 different things.

Youre 19 ..Go for it... Make a move. Based on your info Id guess she wants you to. Afterwards keep it light and fun and it wont get weird

[Leonard D Neubache]

Go for it.

Being in that sort of middle ground is hell. You want to enjoy the company but your balls are slowly turning blue in the meanwhile.

Make your play for 'friends with benefits'. If it falls flat then dramatically cut the amount of time you spend with her. Your youth is too short to be not fucking the girls you're spending time with.

[Jetset]

(10-10-2017 05:39 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Your youth is too short to be not fucking the girls you're spending time with.

^ Correct.

Also, there are makings of a case of Oneitis here. Don't get any illusions that she's the only girl you can be fucking right now. At 19, she might be a keeper, but she isn't the keeper, and confusing the two is waste of time.

[Mountain Man]

(10-10-2017 04:13 AM)Kharn Wrote:  

I've just stopped being a beta a couple years ago,

It sounds like you're still working on it, for most people it's always a progression.

The bottom line is that this "relationship" is hurting your confidence.

Read your own post again: "I'm not stupid" ... "this whole situation is incredibly stupid for me too" ... "I have no idea if I should have something more with her" ... "her games always make everything more confusing".

Being with her is confusing you, making you doubt your ability to score, making you wonder if you are stupid, etc, etc.

You are obviously attracted to her and you like her. Go for it aggressively. If she is interested then that is what she is waiting for. If she is not interested then stop hanging out with her one on one (or at least cut it back to a few times a year). Also, find out why she says she is not interested in any one like that. She might have issues that are credible but that you want nothing to do with. That is White Knight status. You can still be a friend but you have to have it on your terms, terms that don't lead to the frustration and confusion.

End the frustration and confusion you feel and hang out with a girl that wants to fuck. Why hang out with a girl if you are frustrated every time? That is orbiter status and once it starts it rarely changes. She is getting the companionship she desires while you are getting frustrated and confused.

Remember that YOU should be the one to put her in a friend zone. That's not what you want so get on with it or next.

Edit: added a thought

[General Stalin]

Make your move player.

Important lesson to learn here btw: Trust what a woman does not what she says.

Sounds like she enjoys you and is probably frustrated you haven't made a move yet.

[Kharn]

I appreciate all advices given, I'll talk to her today, it'll be great if it works, it'll suck if it goes down. Anyway, life goes on

[Kharn]

(10-10-2017 12:01 PM)Mountain Man Wrote:  

(10-10-2017 04:13 AM)Kharn Wrote:  

I've just stopped being a beta a couple years ago,

It sounds like you're still working on it, for most people it's always a progression.

The bottom line is that this "relationship" is hurting your confidence.

Read your own post again: "I'm not stupid" ... "this whole situation is incredibly stupid for me too" ... "I have no idea if I should have something more with her" ... "her games always make everything more confusing".

Being with her is confusing you, making you doubt your ability to score, making you wonder if you are stupid, etc, etc.

You are obviously attracted to her and you like her. Go for it aggressively. If she is interested then that is what she is waiting for. If she is not interested then stop hanging out with her one on one (or at least cut it back to a few times a year). Also, find out why she says she is not interested in any one like that. She might have issues that are credible but that you want nothing to do with. That is White Knight status. You can still be a friend but you have to have it on your terms, terms that don't lead to the frustration and confusion.

End the frustration and confusion you feel and hang out with a girl that wants to fuck. Why hang out with a girl if you are frustrated every time? That is orbiter status and once it starts it rarely changes. She is getting the companionship she desires while you are getting frustrated and confused.

Remember that YOU should be the one to put her in a friend zone. That's not what you want so get on with it or next.

Edit: added a thought

I am much better than before, I was the ultimate beta white knight until 16, being shy and having Hyperhidrosis destroyed my confidence while growing up, not a problem now

[Mountain Man]

I am much better than before, I was the ultimate beta white knight until 16, being shy and having Hyperhidrosis destroyed my confidence while growing up, not a problem now
[/quote]

You're doing great man! I was mid-thirties before it dawned on me that I wasn't being fulfilled or even thought about. At least you're thinking about this stuff when you are young so you won't get to the point I was that I was in my thirties and completely broken.

You got this, let us know how it goes!!

[General Stalin]

(10-10-2017 03:41 PM)Kharn Wrote:  

I appreciate all advices given, I'll talk to her today, it'll be great if it works, it'll suck if it goes down. Anyway, life goes on

Talk is cheap. I would just hang out with her like usual and get a little flirty. Get into a tickle fight or something and when you are close and tied up in eachother just look into her yes for a second and go for the kiss.

Talking to her hasn't got you anywhere as you said she told you she is "not interested in anyone like that".

If she asks why you kissed just say you felt like it.

[PapayaTapper]

(10-10-2017 04:39 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

(10-10-2017 03:41 PM)Kharn Wrote:  

I appreciate all advices given, I'll talk to her today, it'll be great if it works, it'll suck if it goes down. Anyway, life goes on

Talk is cheap. I would just hang out with her like usual and get a little flirty. Get into a tickle fight or something and when you are close and tied up in eachother just look into her yes for a second and go for the kiss.

Talking to her hasn't got you anywhere as you said she told you she is "not interested in anyone like that".

If she asks why you kissed just say you felt like it.

DONT talk about it. Just do it. Unless youre an experienced spitter talking will only open the door to objections, making it awkward, etc.

"Actions speak louder than words"...Whoever wrote that was probably referring to women.

Just set it up so that next time youre going to hang out you can be alone with her you can bang her.

Be fearless and you will never fail

[Leonard D Neubache]

Here's a tip. Female menstrual cycles are a big deal. Now normally when you're plying some random chick you can't really use this to your advantage, but in this case you're in a fairly unique situation.

Don't try for the bang at a random time. Think back and try to remember when she was sending off solid "fuck me" vibes. Add 28 days and mark the calendar.

Make sure she comes around on that day. Do a short lifting routine before she gets there so you're lightly sweaty and your muscles are primed. Wear something breezy. If she arrives and you're smelling that hormonal vibe coming from her then the time is right. Have a couple of beers on the couch while you catch up on whatever's been going on in the last few days. Get her to do the talking while you start to make some serious eye contact. At some point she's going to realise she's stumbled into a trap. Make a snap judgement about whether she's going to submit (looks away toward the couch and adjusts her hair = time to fuck, looks back at the door or watch = no fuck).

Proceed accordingly.

[Kharn]

I'm really going to put what you guys said in here at work tomorrow, we are going out with some friends. Not the ideal, but getting phisically closer to her in there will make it easier to play with her at my place.
She likes to play hard to get sometimes, making out at the party will make it way easier, and I know she won't wait forever, it's been weeks she's been giving some good vibes, I won't waste anytime tomorrow

[Leonard D Neubache]

Be sure to let us know either way.

Don't ghost if you get shot down. Nobody here will think less of you.

[AntiMediocrity]

Bust a move.

No seriously I'll be another guy to chime in and say at your age if any girls start giving IOI's or wanting to hang out with you all the time you need to just go balls to the wall. Escalate, go for the kill, and if she's not into it there'll be other girls.

If she judges you negatively for trying to be physical with her, she's not a good friend. If she sees things from your perspective, understands but really, really isn't into you romantically she'll distance herself from you automatically and you'll find yourself better off. You'll be able to focus on you again and perhaps meet a girl who IS interested in you.

If she's one of those broads who says no but insists on still hanging out with you, you know what to do. It rhymes with low impact.

[Thoroughbred]

(10-11-2017 05:35 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Here's a tip. Female menstrual cycles are a big deal. Now normally when you're plying some random chick you can't really use this to your advantage, but in this case you're in a fairly unique situation.

Don't try for the bang at a random time. Think back and try to remember when she was sending off solid "fuck me" vibes. Add 28 days and mark the calendar.

Make sure she comes around on that day. Do a short lifting routine before she gets there so you're lightly sweaty and your muscles are primed. Wear something breezy. If she arrives and you're smelling that hormonal vibe coming from her then the time is right. Have a couple of beers on the couch while you catch up on whatever's been going on in the last few days. Get her to do the talking while you start to make some serious eye contact. At some point she's going to realise she's stumbled into a trap. Make a snap judgement about whether she's going to submit (looks away toward the couch and adjusts her hair = time to fuck, looks back at the door or watch = no fuck).

Proceed accordingly.

Menstrual Cycle game is the most potent tactic any of us have at our disposal.

[Guitarman]

To the OP - how did it go?? Did you make your move and at least get a snog or go all the way and bang??

[Noir]

I am late to the party and am against having 'a talk'.

Go out, flirt with other girls and gauge her reaction. Stir some shit up if you are in no mans land to get some feedback on where you stand.

You can make a move but if it's after you giving out mixed signals and being hesitant, it wont be 100% effective.

Why?

Well she has probably been justifying and trying to decipher all possible reasons for you not hitting it up earlier.

I think making her jealous to spike her emotions first would set your move up for a higher success rate.

Men and women rarely stay friends as sooner or later, one of the two develop emotions for the other (if not both).

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

The only time I ever got a chick who was dodging me was when there were a bunch of us, all drunk as skunks, and some guy was boasting about his wrestling skills.

A bunch of people were wrestling around and having a good time having fun and being a little stupid.

This girl was talking about how her dad had taught her self defense and she tried to choke me or something so I did a soft, playful "takedown" move and pinned her to the ground. She was squirming around and getting mad I think but she couldn't really get pissed at me since she'd started it and been saying how "good at self defense" she was.

Anyway she'd shut me down a few times already so I just kissed her on the mouth.

It was hilarious and everybody laughed but she got up looking pretty sheepish so I just left it at that.

Later that night and for a few nights after that she crawled into my bed and we made out a lot but I still thought feminism had merit at the time so I didn't get the bang. That's how messed up feminism is, you tank a bang out of "respect".

But I did learn that some girls just like to be taken, not coaxed.

That said, don't rape the bitch, just be a man around her and be flirty. Then when you make the move, do it with balls and don't give a fuck what happens after. Wait a few days and see if she responds ( if she doesn't right away).

[Kharn]

We went to that party and another yesterday. I see now where I was wrong, I spent so much time focusing on talk that a forgot to make that sexual vibe, she isn't into other guys but she turned me down, I wasn't thinking straight yesterday so instead of kissing I talked to her. Turns out she really likes me as a friend (not bullshiting, I've been friends to lots of girls to know when they are real about this) and she wouldn't even mind presenting me to her friends. Still, I was/ am madly in love with her, I'm not stupid so I'll destroy these feelings by banging other chicks, yesterday some were giving me some IOIs but I didn't do a thing because of this stupid, childish love.

So I'm gonna keep being friends with her and seeing other chicks, she said she will refuse any guys that come close to her so I don't get too bothered. But that's basically it.
Perhaps when my game gets better I'll make a move on her, but until them I'll just forget about all of it.

[AntiMediocrity]

(10-14-2017 10:27 AM)Kharn Wrote:  

So I'm gonna keep being friends with her and seeing other chicks, she said she will refuse any guys that come close to her so I don't get too bothered. But that's basically it.

Wow. Do girls actually believe themselves when they say this? As soon as one guy is able to give her tingles, any words that have come out of and are still coming out of her mouth during your friendship regarding this will go out the window.

Well, either she's delusional or she's just saving face/trying to ease the rejection. I'd even go as far to say both. Good on you for taking it as well as you are, and if there's any chance you could get somewhere in the future if you're more forward - I honestly wouldn't waste any more time than you already have. Time to phase her out of your life.

But really, I don't think anyone would say to a love interest "Sorry, I have to stay single so my BFF doesn't get upset". The idea that anyone would even say they would, or anyone hearing that would believe it is just ridiculous.