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Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable
#1

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

I'm 22 and a senior at a local university. I lived at home until I saved enough to build my own house(made a post last year on ROK about it). I was traveling on a construction internship during the summer, and really enjoyed traveling. However, I thought once school started back up I would be on top of the world. New house to myself, nice car/truck, physique, good job. My head is all jacked up. I feel in my gut like something is horribly wrong with my life the past month. I don't rise early anymore, don't have much to strive for, don't have girls coming over. Last May my diet and discipline was bulletproof. I feel like I need to talk to someone because the depression is killing me. I started chewing tobacco and drinking on weekends to keep my thoughts at bay. The connections with people close to me seem to be unfulfilling. I feel like I need guidance. Thanks
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#2

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

You're 22 - the world is at your fingertips bro.

You built your own nest and are living comfortably.

You mentioned you don't have girls coming over - let me be clear - women IS NOT going to solve your problems.

YOU needs to solved your own problems on your OWN.


Let's ask a few basic questions about women anyways:

-When was the last time you had sex ?
-When was the last time you had a relationship ?
-When was the last time you thought you were in "love"? (if applicable)


Now some general questions:

-When was the last time you went on vacation ?
-Is your gym/routine diet still on point ?
-Does your family have a history of depression ?

On being miserable:

-Can you pinpoint the thoughts or ideas that make you miserable ?
-What's making you depressed ? Any specific scenarios/situations/people ?
-How are you not "connecting" how are people being "unfulfilling"?
-Are you on any meds at all ?


Dipping and Drinking ain't gonna help with this, dumb the dip, ease off on the drinking.


Feel free to go into detail and vent.
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#3

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

22 with your own house is a pretty high achievement.

I'd describe where you are at as having climbed a little mountain, you are feeling a bit deflated about not having the challenge of climbing uphill.

Unable to enjoy the view, not knowing which mounting to climb next.

You may be the type of individual that needs a challenge and that feeling of going up the mountain.

Try and enjoy the view for a little bit, but do pick your next mountain soon.
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#4

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

Quote: (09-14-2017 04:31 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You're 22 - the world is at your fingertips bro.

You built your own nest and are living comfortably.

You mentioned you don't have girls coming over - let me be clear - women IS NOT going to solve your problems.

YOU needs to solved your own problems on your OWN.


Let's ask a few basic questions about women anyways:

-When was the last time you had sex ?
-When was the last time you had a relationship ?
-When was the last time you thought you were in "love"? (if applicable)


Now some general questions:

-When was the last time you went on vacation ?
-Is your gym/routine diet still on point ?
-Does your family have a history of depression ?

On being miserable:

-Can you pinpoint the thoughts or ideas that make you miserable ?
-What's making you depressed ? Any specific scenarios/situations/people ?
-How are you not "connecting" how are people being "unfulfilling"?
-Are you on any meds at all ?


Dipping and Drinking ain't gonna help with this, dumb the dip, ease off on the drinking.


Feel free to go into detail and vent.

I had sex last April.
Truth be told I got oneitis for a girl that I started dating last January. I only took her on three dates and never got past a make out. I really liked being around her, but she clearly lost interest. She started to flake on dates, and that set me off. I ran into a old co-worker that week and got her number. That weekend she came over and had sex. but I was still attached to the first girl. The main reason I went away for the summer was to forget her. However, during my trip she started texting me again, and wanting to hangout. I hung out with her when I got back once, but now its back to low interest. I know this isn't love, but I still feel something for her. I ran into her Tuesday, and offered to get something to eat after class. She gave a vague answer and said to text her. I texted her, but no response. Partially its that I don't even understand what I see in her. The girl I slept with is easily a 8, but at best the one I wanted is a 5. Part of my mind seems to be at war with the other half. I know shes low interest and not worth the time, but I keep getting drawn back to her. I haven't traveled anywhere that didn't relate to work in 6 years. I live alone now, so I lack my day to day social connection. To combat this I arranged times to meet up with friends and the girl I talked about. Her and my friends both flaked this week, and that really made me depressed. I fell like I've been a ghost to my friends. I worked so much last year that I don't feel I know them. Its almost like my life is filled with acquaintances. I'am taking kratom to calm me down. Last year I was always busy and always had something to strive and dream about. Now, I did so much last year that all the problems with my field are gone. So now I have free time when I feel like I need to accomplish something.
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#5

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

Last January ? So Jan 2016? - AND you didn't bang her ?

So you haven't had sex in over a year and then some ? Damn.


The first part of my advice isn't gong to be fun, but it's mandatory but IT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

Step 1: DO NOT CONTACT RULE - that's right, delete her of all your social, delete all texts, block her number, throw away anything you have that is a memory of her.


You need to stop reaching out to this chick and avoid, she's toxic to your well being and it keeps opening old wounds.

I'm not sure how you can have oneitis with a 5 that you never banged compared to an old coworker whose an 8 that you did bang.

Something doesn't add up here, and I really hope you aren't trolling us.


Your first mistake was responding to her when you were on your trip, that basically ruined your trip for you.

All she wants from you is VALIDATION - as in she wants to know if you'll still reach out to her and that she's got you under her thumb.

Do not fall into her frame.


Stop trying to hangout with the girl you have oneitis for.


It also sounds like you might me a small or middle town style city?


How often are you going to the gym ?
Do you have any hobbies ?
Is it easy for you to travel ?
Have you tried using online apps ?
Do you ever approach girls out in public ?


It honestly sounds like you don't have everything you can ask for, that there is indeed another huge mountain to climb.


This can be broke down in two categories:

-Inner game (confidence, self improvement, love yourself)
-Game (with girls, socializing, self improvement)

It sounds like you've got alot of work to do.

Are there any other details we should know ?
-
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#6

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

Get Vitamin D tablets and Vitamin B12 injections. Easiest way to feel more powerful the whole day.
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#7

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

Quote: (09-14-2017 06:24 PM)FlyHigher123 Wrote:  

Get Vitamin D tablets and Vitamin B12 injections. Easiest way to feel more powerful the whole day.

I know someone will say get his test levels checked also.

But I think the issues he has go more deeper than just popping pills and being on TRT.


This is more of self confidence/game struggle.

There's no easy way out of this, he needs to have his trial by fire.


He should be the guy who looks back this situation and laughs because he KNOWS he deserves better and IS better.
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#8

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

Quote: (09-14-2017 05:52 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Last January ? So Jan 2016? - AND you didn't bang her ?

So you haven't had sex in over a year and then some ? Damn.


The first part of my advice isn't gong to be fun, but it's mandatory but IT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

Step 1: DO NOT CONTACT RULE - that's right, delete her of all your social, delete all texts, block her number, throw away anything you have that is a memory of her.


You need to stop reaching out to this chick and avoid, she's toxic to your well being and it keeps opening old wounds.

I'm not sure how you can have oneitis with a 5 that you never banged compared to an old coworker whose an 8 that you did bang.

Something doesn't add up here, and I really hope you aren't trolling us.


Your first mistake was responding to her when you were on your trip, that basically ruined your trip for you.

All she wants from you is VALIDATION - as in she wants to know if you'll still reach out to her and that she's got you under her thumb.

Do not fall into her frame.


Stop trying to hangout with the girl you have oneitis for.


It also sounds like you might me a small or middle town style city?


How often are you going to the gym ?
Do you have any hobbies ?
Is it easy for you to travel ?
Have you tried using online apps ?
Do you ever approach girls out in public ?


It honestly sounds like you don't have everything you can ask for, that there is indeed another huge mountain to climb.


This can be broke down in two categories:

-Inner game (confidence, self improvement, love yourself)
-Game (with girls, socializing, self improvement)

It sounds like you've got alot of work to do.

Are there any other details we should know ?
-

I started dating her last january as in 2017
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#9

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

OP, please can you describe the girl?
Where is she from? What does she do? Some more things about her like what she's is into.
PM me if possible.
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#10

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

Quote: (09-14-2017 07:00 PM)fhurlow Wrote:  

I started dating her last january as in 2017

Oh okay that's alot better, I do suggest answering those last questions I last wrote.

You can always PM me your responses.

I do suggest posting them on here because others can help as well.
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#11

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

Quote: (09-14-2017 04:23 PM)fhurlow Wrote:  

I'm 22 and a senior at a local university. I lived at home until I saved enough to build my own house(made a post last year on ROK about it). I was traveling on a construction internship during the summer, and really enjoyed traveling. However, I thought once school started back up I would be on top of the world. New house to myself, nice car/truck, physique, good job. My head is all jacked up. I feel in my gut like something is horribly wrong with my life the past month. I don't rise early anymore, don't have much to strive for, don't have girls coming over. Last May my diet and discipline was bulletproof. I feel like I need to talk to someone because the depression is killing me. I started chewing tobacco and drinking on weekends to keep my thoughts at bay. The connections with people close to me seem to be unfulfilling. I feel like I need guidance. Thanks
.....hey dude..... let me give you a hint at 22----you have everything you can ask for.??..that's great, but be aware life changes on a dime.... or quicker ...from someone who is 20 years older than you, you should be drinking..rather draining from the cup of life...every second you live..... if you truly have everything you want....i believe posts like this from the common man signal we are at a economic top ....
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#12

Have everything I could ask for, But I'm miserable

No matter what you achieve in this world, it's all temporary happiness whether you like it or not. Even if you become a billionaire, have over a 1000 notches, have the perfect gf and loved by everyone around you, deep down we all know it's meaningless as it will all come to an end.

Advice on this forum is very materialistic, I'm not getting all religious on you as I don't follow any religion but our other self (real self) is longing for something, when you figure that out then you'll know what to do. Good luck!
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