I am going to share highly personal information about myself which many of you will respond to with snickering sarcastic replies like beta males, but this shameful life story of mine delivered with a strong frame will be a HUGE asset for me (and it's a reflection of how fucked up our "society" really is, and the nature of women, tbh and real about it). This is a bro reaching out to other bros hoping for solid advice. I don't think there are any other people I can reach out to for help, so I am counting on you guys. If none of you choose to try to help me, I will figure out a way to use it to my advantage on my own but I am sure I will burn bridges in learning how to make it a "winning" routine. I guess that's what I am looking to do with this (if possible), make this my primary routine (if any of you guys think it could/would work).
I am in my early 30's, and I have been down on my luck with women for years. In the beginning, it was of my own choosing. Quite frankly, I made a decision over a decade ago to boycott the bitches. I don't regret it either. I had girlfriends as a young teenager, girls chasing me, clawing at one another to steal me from their childhood "BFF's" but it was never what I had wanted (poor me, I know, but it's my experience, I hate what our women have become in spite of it being a player's paradise of harems...if you want them, that is, I guess I want one now). After I stopped going after women, I indulged more heavily in drugs. Approximately a year ago, I made the decision to start going after women again and oh my god, it is such a struggle now, but it's one I damn WILL overcome! I work at a place surrounded by young HB's in their early 20's (came really close with one I like, fucked it up, she has her shield up against me in full force & is basically no longer interested in me @ all, even though I will do big Alpha moves like pull her hair, which she likes, and she still lets me touch her for prolonged periods of time), and I've been recently going out to places such as college libraries, and forcing myself to go talk to girls.
So, my story then. I am a convicted felon. Years ago, I was strung out and spun out on drugs, primarily Opioids. I don't do half-assed anything to which I set out to accomplish, and drug addiction was absolutely no exception. I became a "Drugstore Cowboy." It was a foolish thing to have done, naturally, and I paid the price (and I am thankful for having done so). It was a huge deal at the time when I got caught. I was on the front page of a very popular local online newspaper, and other news articles are still online about me. The way I did it was insane and crazy. I went into pharmacies with notes (yep, like pieces of papers with insane deluded messages in-scrawled on them demanding whatever drugs I wanted, lol), made it clear I did not have a weapon (a lie, I did have---you guys will love this, no bs----a BB gun, an unloaded BB gun to make it all the dumber, which I never pulled out nor pointed at anyone, but I did expose it once-the first time I did it, which was a FUCKED up thing to have done to that person and I damned well know it), and at the end of these notes, I made it clear to them I would not physically harm them no matter what, and I did not harm anyone). Obviously, had I been a pharmacist on duty, I would have laughed myself out of the pharmacies (3 times in which I tried it they did call my bluff and I walked out with my dick in between my legs-I was unwilling to hurt anyone for this dumb shit). But, it actually worked--- two times. The poor pharmacists gave me dope, I got out like a bandit (heh), and got away with it, every time. I wound up getting myself caught (of course) by telling one person, a true friend who sold me out to crime stoppers. I am so thankful too him too for having done that. Sincerely.
So, long story short, I could have been sentenced to 40 years for what I did, but the victims told the prosecutors to give me a slap on the wrist (in light of the gravity of the crimes) amount of time. I wound up serving 3 years in prison and 1/2 years on parole (been done for over a year now and have been doing fantastic, only became a better person as a result of all of this, prison was the best thing that happened to me since I had decided to embrace drugs, which is what I had done as a young teenager). I didn't actually serve much time in jail though. I became a "trustee" and worked for the jail and I BUSTED my ass. I earned "work release" and worked a job offshore and transformed into a muscular beast of a man doing hard manual labor as a slave to the State in which I live working every day---literally, every SINGLE fucking day for almost 3 years straight, made them $100,000 they kept, kept $20,000 for myself, paid my debt to society, to any assholes who want to make judgmental snickering comments).
That job offered me a six figure career path, which my boss was grooming me to do (he loved me, they all loved me). I quit that job after a total of 4 years having done it ----this last February---- because I'm going to start a family within a couple of years with a lucky girl of my choosing. Moved cities afterwards. Been doing fantastic as far as my mindset, but I still don't have a social network. I am a little socially awkward from all of my time away from "normal" people. At my best, I not only get on well with people, but I captivate them, make them laugh like crazy, charm them. But, I find myself struggling to do any of that without having close friends (yet).
So, I've been working at this restaurant/bar as a bus boy around those hotties, and I've had multiple ones chasing me (low-intensity), but I've been too much of an asshole, waited too long to bust moves, and I'm always busy af while there. As far as this life story, how can I use it to my advantage? It's sad, but it is an extremely "exciting" or "amazing" story, especially to a young girl who is so used to meeting goody two shoes dull beta males. I don't know [b]when to use it. I could just literally tell girls "google me, we'll find out if you can handle it" or "google me, see if you can handle a real man" in a cocky casually playful challenging her way like it's no big deal (in a totally aloof way).[/b] The way I've thought to frame that story is I was sitting in my apartment (fucking off in college, which is true) and I was surfing On Demand and it got my attention, "what a captivating title...it turned out to have been a very powerful and moving dramatic portrayal of hedonistic nihilism, nihilism is one of the unofficial religions of our so-called society which basically means we have no purpose, there is no meaning, only emptiness, pointlessness, meaninglessness, and the only appropriate way to live our lives accordingly is by indulging in whatever in the fuck makes you feel good, now....".
Obviously, a problem (from my perspective and interest) is freaking a girl out, having her "danger" or "physical threat to my safety" sense alarmed where she is scared of me (I know safety is a core thing for girls when they're evaluating a man and I don't want them to think I am some dangerous guy who's going to harm them, which I am damn well not). Once anyone understands the fact I did not hurt anyone, and made it clear during the crimes themselves I was unwilling to harm anyone, I think it will have them at ease (the news articles about me clearly state this as being the truth). The whole story showcases the fact I am what all girls ultimately fantasize about in a man, a "fighter." A risk taker. A man with "balls." That is the truth. The whole story about work release also proves this, working in the freezing cold rain in the middle of winter at night, almost drowning in a near death experience last June, I am a tough son of a bitch and I know it!
I am a very friendly and kind person, but I am also a man other men immediately respect, a man other men are---quite frankly, afraid of---men do not make strong eye contact with me out in the "real world." I was born into money and I was raised very "well" by weak well-meaning pushover parents, spoiled rotten. In spite of this foolish thing I did, I am also a good man. Ironically, in spite of the fact nothing *objectively dangerous* scares me, the only way in which I fall short in terms of courage is with women. I am not forceful enough. Having not had a woman in years sapped my confidence immensely. I am so rusty but I am in the beginning stages of becoming what I damn well will become regardless of how long it may take, a ladies man. I am making cold approaches for the first time in my life. I give up too easily after opening, frequently at the first sign of boredom or disinterest in the girls. I've started using the "is kissing cheating?" routines. I've learned how to have a "self-complementing/self-sustaining" conversation with women about the things women love talking about (like siblings, which superpowers they'd pick,etc) but I frequently stall out nonetheless. I sell myself short. I have an absolutely wicked sense of humor chicks who really get to know me become addicted to. I am decent-looking, a 6 (maybe a 7 when I put myself together) imo but with a nice fit, muscular physique. To chicks, this makes me something of a "celebrity", "interesting", and something to be proud of having in a man, a great story my future girlfriend will smile to herself and proudly share with another girl, "look you fucking bitch at the catch I have got for myself." And that is such a sad thing, imo, but I am damn well going to milk it for what it's worth!
I am hoping you guys will give me some good advice because I need help and guidance. The biggest battle I am ultimately facing is probably inner game. Simply becoming a man who believes all these chicks he goes up to want him and acting accordingly. After that, cultivating a legitimate social life instead of just going out after women is something I MUST do and I know it, but I am not sure all of what to try, I had joined a dodge-ball team, went to AA meetings, a meditation group, but I didn't reap any friendships due to my behaviors (any advice here would be nice too, I want as much advice/insight as you're willing to give and most of the time I barely get any). Any sort of guidance, insights, advice about any of the things I have brought up would be appreciated so much, seriously and sincerely (though the crazy story is the topic, technically, I am just not sure when to weave it in, how to frame it, etc). Thank you guys so very much in advance. Take care.
Read these links and you'll see the devious diabolical genius in using this story of mine. It will get me laid and I know it.
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2017/07/...the-study/
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/03/...e-edition/
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/06/...dig-jerks/
I am in my early 30's, and I have been down on my luck with women for years. In the beginning, it was of my own choosing. Quite frankly, I made a decision over a decade ago to boycott the bitches. I don't regret it either. I had girlfriends as a young teenager, girls chasing me, clawing at one another to steal me from their childhood "BFF's" but it was never what I had wanted (poor me, I know, but it's my experience, I hate what our women have become in spite of it being a player's paradise of harems...if you want them, that is, I guess I want one now). After I stopped going after women, I indulged more heavily in drugs. Approximately a year ago, I made the decision to start going after women again and oh my god, it is such a struggle now, but it's one I damn WILL overcome! I work at a place surrounded by young HB's in their early 20's (came really close with one I like, fucked it up, she has her shield up against me in full force & is basically no longer interested in me @ all, even though I will do big Alpha moves like pull her hair, which she likes, and she still lets me touch her for prolonged periods of time), and I've been recently going out to places such as college libraries, and forcing myself to go talk to girls.
So, my story then. I am a convicted felon. Years ago, I was strung out and spun out on drugs, primarily Opioids. I don't do half-assed anything to which I set out to accomplish, and drug addiction was absolutely no exception. I became a "Drugstore Cowboy." It was a foolish thing to have done, naturally, and I paid the price (and I am thankful for having done so). It was a huge deal at the time when I got caught. I was on the front page of a very popular local online newspaper, and other news articles are still online about me. The way I did it was insane and crazy. I went into pharmacies with notes (yep, like pieces of papers with insane deluded messages in-scrawled on them demanding whatever drugs I wanted, lol), made it clear I did not have a weapon (a lie, I did have---you guys will love this, no bs----a BB gun, an unloaded BB gun to make it all the dumber, which I never pulled out nor pointed at anyone, but I did expose it once-the first time I did it, which was a FUCKED up thing to have done to that person and I damned well know it), and at the end of these notes, I made it clear to them I would not physically harm them no matter what, and I did not harm anyone). Obviously, had I been a pharmacist on duty, I would have laughed myself out of the pharmacies (3 times in which I tried it they did call my bluff and I walked out with my dick in between my legs-I was unwilling to hurt anyone for this dumb shit). But, it actually worked--- two times. The poor pharmacists gave me dope, I got out like a bandit (heh), and got away with it, every time. I wound up getting myself caught (of course) by telling one person, a true friend who sold me out to crime stoppers. I am so thankful too him too for having done that. Sincerely.
So, long story short, I could have been sentenced to 40 years for what I did, but the victims told the prosecutors to give me a slap on the wrist (in light of the gravity of the crimes) amount of time. I wound up serving 3 years in prison and 1/2 years on parole (been done for over a year now and have been doing fantastic, only became a better person as a result of all of this, prison was the best thing that happened to me since I had decided to embrace drugs, which is what I had done as a young teenager). I didn't actually serve much time in jail though. I became a "trustee" and worked for the jail and I BUSTED my ass. I earned "work release" and worked a job offshore and transformed into a muscular beast of a man doing hard manual labor as a slave to the State in which I live working every day---literally, every SINGLE fucking day for almost 3 years straight, made them $100,000 they kept, kept $20,000 for myself, paid my debt to society, to any assholes who want to make judgmental snickering comments).
That job offered me a six figure career path, which my boss was grooming me to do (he loved me, they all loved me). I quit that job after a total of 4 years having done it ----this last February---- because I'm going to start a family within a couple of years with a lucky girl of my choosing. Moved cities afterwards. Been doing fantastic as far as my mindset, but I still don't have a social network. I am a little socially awkward from all of my time away from "normal" people. At my best, I not only get on well with people, but I captivate them, make them laugh like crazy, charm them. But, I find myself struggling to do any of that without having close friends (yet).
So, I've been working at this restaurant/bar as a bus boy around those hotties, and I've had multiple ones chasing me (low-intensity), but I've been too much of an asshole, waited too long to bust moves, and I'm always busy af while there. As far as this life story, how can I use it to my advantage? It's sad, but it is an extremely "exciting" or "amazing" story, especially to a young girl who is so used to meeting goody two shoes dull beta males. I don't know [b]when to use it. I could just literally tell girls "google me, we'll find out if you can handle it" or "google me, see if you can handle a real man" in a cocky casually playful challenging her way like it's no big deal (in a totally aloof way).[/b] The way I've thought to frame that story is I was sitting in my apartment (fucking off in college, which is true) and I was surfing On Demand and it got my attention, "what a captivating title...it turned out to have been a very powerful and moving dramatic portrayal of hedonistic nihilism, nihilism is one of the unofficial religions of our so-called society which basically means we have no purpose, there is no meaning, only emptiness, pointlessness, meaninglessness, and the only appropriate way to live our lives accordingly is by indulging in whatever in the fuck makes you feel good, now....".
Obviously, a problem (from my perspective and interest) is freaking a girl out, having her "danger" or "physical threat to my safety" sense alarmed where she is scared of me (I know safety is a core thing for girls when they're evaluating a man and I don't want them to think I am some dangerous guy who's going to harm them, which I am damn well not). Once anyone understands the fact I did not hurt anyone, and made it clear during the crimes themselves I was unwilling to harm anyone, I think it will have them at ease (the news articles about me clearly state this as being the truth). The whole story showcases the fact I am what all girls ultimately fantasize about in a man, a "fighter." A risk taker. A man with "balls." That is the truth. The whole story about work release also proves this, working in the freezing cold rain in the middle of winter at night, almost drowning in a near death experience last June, I am a tough son of a bitch and I know it!
I am a very friendly and kind person, but I am also a man other men immediately respect, a man other men are---quite frankly, afraid of---men do not make strong eye contact with me out in the "real world." I was born into money and I was raised very "well" by weak well-meaning pushover parents, spoiled rotten. In spite of this foolish thing I did, I am also a good man. Ironically, in spite of the fact nothing *objectively dangerous* scares me, the only way in which I fall short in terms of courage is with women. I am not forceful enough. Having not had a woman in years sapped my confidence immensely. I am so rusty but I am in the beginning stages of becoming what I damn well will become regardless of how long it may take, a ladies man. I am making cold approaches for the first time in my life. I give up too easily after opening, frequently at the first sign of boredom or disinterest in the girls. I've started using the "is kissing cheating?" routines. I've learned how to have a "self-complementing/self-sustaining" conversation with women about the things women love talking about (like siblings, which superpowers they'd pick,etc) but I frequently stall out nonetheless. I sell myself short. I have an absolutely wicked sense of humor chicks who really get to know me become addicted to. I am decent-looking, a 6 (maybe a 7 when I put myself together) imo but with a nice fit, muscular physique. To chicks, this makes me something of a "celebrity", "interesting", and something to be proud of having in a man, a great story my future girlfriend will smile to herself and proudly share with another girl, "look you fucking bitch at the catch I have got for myself." And that is such a sad thing, imo, but I am damn well going to milk it for what it's worth!
I am hoping you guys will give me some good advice because I need help and guidance. The biggest battle I am ultimately facing is probably inner game. Simply becoming a man who believes all these chicks he goes up to want him and acting accordingly. After that, cultivating a legitimate social life instead of just going out after women is something I MUST do and I know it, but I am not sure all of what to try, I had joined a dodge-ball team, went to AA meetings, a meditation group, but I didn't reap any friendships due to my behaviors (any advice here would be nice too, I want as much advice/insight as you're willing to give and most of the time I barely get any). Any sort of guidance, insights, advice about any of the things I have brought up would be appreciated so much, seriously and sincerely (though the crazy story is the topic, technically, I am just not sure when to weave it in, how to frame it, etc). Thank you guys so very much in advance. Take care.
Read these links and you'll see the devious diabolical genius in using this story of mine. It will get me laid and I know it.
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2017/07/...the-study/
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/03/...e-edition/
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/06/...dig-jerks/