[MaceTyrell]

Newbie forum was the best place to post this. I'd like to start this thread as a dumping ground of certain thoughts I've had as they've related to the girls that my "blue pill" guyfriends have in their lives as either regular slam pieces or LTRs.

My thoughts on LTRs have been sculpted by these people.

Not sure how this might materialize, but I'll take it day by day.

[456]

Cool idea for a thread.

I've watched in quiet interest as two blue-tinged acquaintances dealt Very Nicely with break-ups around the same time: a surprise "eat pray love" divorce and a surprise "I love you but my family dislikes you" end-of-engagement. And that second guy in particular would be any father's dream son-in-law!

In both cases, without my having offered any thoughts or advice, they've quickly come to the conclusion that She Wasn't All That, that their stocks are rising as the exes' stocks sink, that they will persevere, stay active and social, etc.

They may both fall into the same pattern of least-resistance mate-finding, but BOTH of them will never stand for X or Y anymore, and they know and feel their worth more palpably.

Only after I witnessed this reaction (and I wonder if they've been browsing any purple or red hued material), did I open up a little more with some thoughts to re-affirm their revelations and sprinkle in a bit of my own hard-won experience.

The two biggest takeaways they happily accepted (and were finally ready to accept), I put roughly as:

- "short it next time" i.e. once you feel that she "loves but is not IN love", understand that every passing week you are delaying the inevitable and worsening your position (with her, within your own emotions, etc.). Respectfully end it. (Ironically this could recharge her passion)

- "no such thing as relationship equity" -- surprise-divorcee's biggest surprise was that she wouldn't adhere to their years-ago promises of "if times get tough, we'll do counseling and work through it". She couldn't make it half-way through the first counseling sesh despite the counselor siding with her. So I said "allow me to pose a crass analogy: those promises were your relationship equity. it's not liquid, you can't redeem it." Realize that it's very much about how she feels now/lately, and that a woman who WILL work it through you in tough times won't be doing / saying half the things ex was.

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Never mind what I had to go through to achieve natural understanding of this advice I myself follow. It was hard-won, and it's really just about seeing what's laid bare on the table at all times. Evaluate from there.

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One more thing to notice with couples: is she into HIM as a man or is she just with him as the latest guy who fulfills her template for boyfriend/husband material at a time in her life where she wants the role filled?

Suss that out about EVERY couple you know. Get to know the subtle signs. The girl should have genuine admiration, excitement, happiness, smiling at or about or towards him [happiness gene per PaypayaTapper!] in a way that's distinct for This Man.

Then focus that lens on you and your relationships!

[Simeon_Strangelight]

https://therationalmale.com/tag/long-dis...tionships/



Many topics there were already looked at in detail.