I'm experiencing something like option paralysis or the paradox of choice, where my life has changed so drastically in such a short time that I am struggling to chart a path for my future.
First let me say I do not believe I can live outside of the US as I have a pet. You may scoff at this but I'm responsible for a living thing and I do enjoy its company. Moving with a pet and potential quarantines are daunting. Additionally, though I still have a ton of traveling to do, I am not entirely convinced that the grass is that much greener outside of the US. I don't discount the convenience and safety of the US, nor do I discount socializing with people from my native culture instead of being forced to learn an entirely new one. I also like the outdoors and we have a pretty amazing variety of outdoor experiences in "flyover country." Finally, I doubt that the people who rage against the US would feel the same way if they had location/time independence and a bankroll. I do recognize the culture is messed up and we have a lot of problems, I'm a RVF member after all. The only non US travel I have done so far is Korea, Vietnam, Taiwan, Spain, and Greece. My goal is to expand this list greatly, but it is a slow process as other areas of my life need work as well and time away from home prevents that from progressing. Also I was not a big fan of Asia personally.
I am seeking a location where I can post up for a long time and enjoy a successful and fulfilling life, date a lot of women, and find a high quality one who values commitment eventually.
I grew up poor in nowheresville, Midwest. I extricated myself from that hellhole after 27long years and realized the importance of location and how much moving impacted my happiness. I have traveled extensively all over the US. I lived in Los Angeles for a few years. However, it was not ideal as I was broke trying to start my business and living in utter squalor. While I enjoyed aspects of it, I felt it was not the city for me. From there I moved to the Tampa/St Pete area of FL where I am now. At this time my business began taking off, I stopped living like a peasant, and all of a sudden I was having success with women again. I immediately made the mistake of getting into a LTR with a girl 10 years my junior (I'm early 30s) that imploded. I'm certain she was BPD, from a low class family with no real education and had a bad home environment in her youth. I find myself getting involved with these hot but low-quality women constantly and I think it is partially a function of location and projected socioeconomic status. What I mean by projected is that I was doing well but not projecting it, still dressing sloppy and driving a beater etc to save money and maintain my freedom.
The budget has relaxed quite a bit and I splurged on a brand new quality wardrobe, ditched the flip flops for stylish shoes, got a (used) luxury German car, stopped living with roommates and rented a nice house, and rededicated myself to fitness with good results. Now I find myself far more optimized for success with women and just quality people in general, but I'm in a suburban part of town that i moved to as a consequence of the LTR. In FL that means a lot of retirees, avg age 48! Lease is up soon and I can move. Recently on trips to NYC and W Europe, my jaw dropped at how there are just smoke shows passing by every two seconds on the sidewalk. If these girls existed in my area, I would never even see them due to the driving culture and low density. I felt alive and was getting good responses from the women. I am convinced walkability and density are key and worth paying any price, which I can now do.
As a near lifelong poor midwesterner, I've been playing intense catch-up for years now. I'm still behind the curve but my trajectory is good. I am doing my best to become more interesting, gain more knowledge, become proficient at more skills, travel more, learn languages and cultures. I feel that this is the path to meeting higher quality people and also dating higher quality women. For instance in NYC and the Euro capitals there are mid-20s gorgeous girls from solid families who have traveled, have college educations, and can support themselves. Really the total package. After dating all these hot but worthless skeezers it would be nice if the girl was more on my level. I find myself having to take care of everything, which eventually turns them off because I seem like a pleaser. But it is necessary since they are literally incapable of functioning as human beings. I am looking to move to a place where I can meet these people.
My first though is not to throw away the network and lifestyle I have built here, and to just move to the dense core of town. There are two areas that are walkable, dense, and teeming with beautiful women. Hyde Park / Soho in South Tampa is one and downtown St Pete is the other. I am thinking this would be good to try first, especially since I do like Florida (weather, outdoors, no taxes etc). However, I am apprehensive that things still might not be "happening" for me here, as the areas are still small and provincial. I hope I'm wrong. But my idea of a city is Barcelona, and I realize this is not achievable in the US. Chicago during the summer is excellent and pretty much my ideal, but the winters would be unbearable...even worse than the ones from my hometown that made me so miserable for so long. I enjoyed Denver / Boulder and need to do some more exploring there but again the winters put me off, though they don't seem nearly as bad as the Midwest since the sun shines and it's dry. The SWPL mindset there is another issue, though. I am not a lazy "chill" stoner and am on a self improvement warpath. I would like to end up as more of a Donald Trump or Dan Bilzerian than a Cheech & Chong. I tried Los Angeles once, although I was poor, but not really interested in doing it again now. One place I have never been is San Diego. I love Santa Barbara and have friends there but it may be a bit small, also SWPLS again. San Francisco has shit weather and is the SWPL capital. I would rather stay where I am than go to Miami, I think...would rather be a big fish in a medium pond than a guppy in a huge one, all else equal. Also I'm mainly into white girls, though I'd prefer foreign. Another I am very curious about is NYC...guys on here rave about it all the time so it is very appealing. I love the walkability. It feels like a "real" city. And I can now afford it. But again, winters. I haven't experienced a winter there, don't know how it compares to the Midwest, but I hear it's not good.
Thankfully money is really no object anymore (within reason, I'm not buying yachts and shit). I'm not sure how much a baller pad in downtown manhattan would be. I know that locally, apartments seem to max out at a low $1600/mo, I would actually prefer to pay much more for a swank luxury penthouse situation but it doesn't seem like that is available here, more of a big city thing I guess.
If you were limited to the US and money was truly not a problem, as an early 30s man, where would you go? I really feel like a guy with a bankroll and unlimited free time can still do well in the US, but now that I have unlimited options I am overwhelmed by all the choice and possibility. Good problem to have, but a problem nonetheless.
First let me say I do not believe I can live outside of the US as I have a pet. You may scoff at this but I'm responsible for a living thing and I do enjoy its company. Moving with a pet and potential quarantines are daunting. Additionally, though I still have a ton of traveling to do, I am not entirely convinced that the grass is that much greener outside of the US. I don't discount the convenience and safety of the US, nor do I discount socializing with people from my native culture instead of being forced to learn an entirely new one. I also like the outdoors and we have a pretty amazing variety of outdoor experiences in "flyover country." Finally, I doubt that the people who rage against the US would feel the same way if they had location/time independence and a bankroll. I do recognize the culture is messed up and we have a lot of problems, I'm a RVF member after all. The only non US travel I have done so far is Korea, Vietnam, Taiwan, Spain, and Greece. My goal is to expand this list greatly, but it is a slow process as other areas of my life need work as well and time away from home prevents that from progressing. Also I was not a big fan of Asia personally.
I am seeking a location where I can post up for a long time and enjoy a successful and fulfilling life, date a lot of women, and find a high quality one who values commitment eventually.
I grew up poor in nowheresville, Midwest. I extricated myself from that hellhole after 27long years and realized the importance of location and how much moving impacted my happiness. I have traveled extensively all over the US. I lived in Los Angeles for a few years. However, it was not ideal as I was broke trying to start my business and living in utter squalor. While I enjoyed aspects of it, I felt it was not the city for me. From there I moved to the Tampa/St Pete area of FL where I am now. At this time my business began taking off, I stopped living like a peasant, and all of a sudden I was having success with women again. I immediately made the mistake of getting into a LTR with a girl 10 years my junior (I'm early 30s) that imploded. I'm certain she was BPD, from a low class family with no real education and had a bad home environment in her youth. I find myself getting involved with these hot but low-quality women constantly and I think it is partially a function of location and projected socioeconomic status. What I mean by projected is that I was doing well but not projecting it, still dressing sloppy and driving a beater etc to save money and maintain my freedom.
The budget has relaxed quite a bit and I splurged on a brand new quality wardrobe, ditched the flip flops for stylish shoes, got a (used) luxury German car, stopped living with roommates and rented a nice house, and rededicated myself to fitness with good results. Now I find myself far more optimized for success with women and just quality people in general, but I'm in a suburban part of town that i moved to as a consequence of the LTR. In FL that means a lot of retirees, avg age 48! Lease is up soon and I can move. Recently on trips to NYC and W Europe, my jaw dropped at how there are just smoke shows passing by every two seconds on the sidewalk. If these girls existed in my area, I would never even see them due to the driving culture and low density. I felt alive and was getting good responses from the women. I am convinced walkability and density are key and worth paying any price, which I can now do.
As a near lifelong poor midwesterner, I've been playing intense catch-up for years now. I'm still behind the curve but my trajectory is good. I am doing my best to become more interesting, gain more knowledge, become proficient at more skills, travel more, learn languages and cultures. I feel that this is the path to meeting higher quality people and also dating higher quality women. For instance in NYC and the Euro capitals there are mid-20s gorgeous girls from solid families who have traveled, have college educations, and can support themselves. Really the total package. After dating all these hot but worthless skeezers it would be nice if the girl was more on my level. I find myself having to take care of everything, which eventually turns them off because I seem like a pleaser. But it is necessary since they are literally incapable of functioning as human beings. I am looking to move to a place where I can meet these people.
My first though is not to throw away the network and lifestyle I have built here, and to just move to the dense core of town. There are two areas that are walkable, dense, and teeming with beautiful women. Hyde Park / Soho in South Tampa is one and downtown St Pete is the other. I am thinking this would be good to try first, especially since I do like Florida (weather, outdoors, no taxes etc). However, I am apprehensive that things still might not be "happening" for me here, as the areas are still small and provincial. I hope I'm wrong. But my idea of a city is Barcelona, and I realize this is not achievable in the US. Chicago during the summer is excellent and pretty much my ideal, but the winters would be unbearable...even worse than the ones from my hometown that made me so miserable for so long. I enjoyed Denver / Boulder and need to do some more exploring there but again the winters put me off, though they don't seem nearly as bad as the Midwest since the sun shines and it's dry. The SWPL mindset there is another issue, though. I am not a lazy "chill" stoner and am on a self improvement warpath. I would like to end up as more of a Donald Trump or Dan Bilzerian than a Cheech & Chong. I tried Los Angeles once, although I was poor, but not really interested in doing it again now. One place I have never been is San Diego. I love Santa Barbara and have friends there but it may be a bit small, also SWPLS again. San Francisco has shit weather and is the SWPL capital. I would rather stay where I am than go to Miami, I think...would rather be a big fish in a medium pond than a guppy in a huge one, all else equal. Also I'm mainly into white girls, though I'd prefer foreign. Another I am very curious about is NYC...guys on here rave about it all the time so it is very appealing. I love the walkability. It feels like a "real" city. And I can now afford it. But again, winters. I haven't experienced a winter there, don't know how it compares to the Midwest, but I hear it's not good.
Thankfully money is really no object anymore (within reason, I'm not buying yachts and shit). I'm not sure how much a baller pad in downtown manhattan would be. I know that locally, apartments seem to max out at a low $1600/mo, I would actually prefer to pay much more for a swank luxury penthouse situation but it doesn't seem like that is available here, more of a big city thing I guess.
If you were limited to the US and money was truly not a problem, as an early 30s man, where would you go? I really feel like a guy with a bankroll and unlimited free time can still do well in the US, but now that I have unlimited options I am overwhelmed by all the choice and possibility. Good problem to have, but a problem nonetheless.