Topic is pretty self-explanatory.
What do you guys think? Would you seriously consider a LTR with someone you met on Tinder?
What do you guys think? Would you seriously consider a LTR with someone you met on Tinder?
Is Meeting A Girl On Tinder/Bumble A Red Flag For LTR?
In terms of red flags...
Most of the time but not 100%... I've had my exceptions but they are rare. Usually foreign girls.
Most of the time but not 100%... I've had my exceptions but they are rare. Usually foreign girls.
Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
If she qualifies herself and passes my standards, yes.
I've had 2 LTR's from online apps.
The last one was very serious, I got lucky, but things ended because of me.
OBVIOUSLY we know what girls do on apps, it's a bagful of dicks, but there's decent ones out there.
I've been on dates with a few, some took a few dates to bang and wanted more than fuck buddies.
Just tread carefully and adhere to your standards, you have to scrutinize a bit more.
I've had 2 LTR's from online apps.
The last one was very serious, I got lucky, but things ended because of me.
OBVIOUSLY we know what girls do on apps, it's a bagful of dicks, but there's decent ones out there.
I've been on dates with a few, some took a few dates to bang and wanted more than fuck buddies.
Just tread carefully and adhere to your standards, you have to scrutinize a bit more.
I think a lot of women genuinely believe they are going to meet a husband/provider from online dating. Ive had one LTR from online dating. She proved to be nuts, but had a good time riding it down in flames.
Its not whether they are good or bad girls for LTR's, because I would wager the majority of single women use dating sites and apps. I think it more comes down to whether real organic chemistry exists between you and her. Would you have approached this girl without the app? Think through your last 50 Tinder dates. Would you have given most of these girls a second look on the street, or given them the benefit of your approach? Would you have been motivated to fight through approach anxiety, to connect with her? I can definitively say no, well over 90% of the women I have met through Tinder, I would never give a second look to. I've been on hundreds of dates over the last 5 years. The power of your inner desire to approach that girl creates your entire motivation, i.e. the desire you have for her, and the desire you create in her by approaching her. Thats what creates true chemistry between a man and woman that turns into passion. Pictures lie. Real chemistry, created by real life first interactions, is the basis of true chemistry.
If you want a fundamental red flag, look at how you met her.
Its not whether they are good or bad girls for LTR's, because I would wager the majority of single women use dating sites and apps. I think it more comes down to whether real organic chemistry exists between you and her. Would you have approached this girl without the app? Think through your last 50 Tinder dates. Would you have given most of these girls a second look on the street, or given them the benefit of your approach? Would you have been motivated to fight through approach anxiety, to connect with her? I can definitively say no, well over 90% of the women I have met through Tinder, I would never give a second look to. I've been on hundreds of dates over the last 5 years. The power of your inner desire to approach that girl creates your entire motivation, i.e. the desire you have for her, and the desire you create in her by approaching her. Thats what creates true chemistry between a man and woman that turns into passion. Pictures lie. Real chemistry, created by real life first interactions, is the basis of true chemistry.
If you want a fundamental red flag, look at how you met her.
It's sort of like asking if meeting a girl in a bar is a red flag. Generally speaking, it is. But even "good girls" get dragged to the bar by their friends once in a while. If you happen to meet a girl like that on a rare occasion she's at a bar, you could be all right. Same principle applies to online dating apps.
The same girls we'd meet daygaming in bookstores or coffee shops likely have Tinder accounts and go to bars at least some of the time, so I wouldn't necessarily overanalyze where you met them. It's something to keep in mind for sure, but I wouldn't obsess over it. The main thing is developing an eye to spot red flags, and improving your screening game through experience.
The same girls we'd meet daygaming in bookstores or coffee shops likely have Tinder accounts and go to bars at least some of the time, so I wouldn't necessarily overanalyze where you met them. It's something to keep in mind for sure, but I wouldn't obsess over it. The main thing is developing an eye to spot red flags, and improving your screening game through experience.
I've met quality girls looking for LTRs on tinder (Russians in Thailand)
Most people know its for banging I think, but in Thailand its a bit of a dating app as well.
Most people know its for banging I think, but in Thailand its a bit of a dating app as well.
No.
These days it's how everyone meets.
You hear a lot now about couples getting married who met on Tinder or another app.
These days it's how everyone meets.
You hear a lot now about couples getting married who met on Tinder or another app.
I dated some great girls off of Tinder that could have really gone the distance had it not been for logistical issues of me moving away.
But of course you need to be very careful, in both ways. The large majority will be NOT good long term material. You should still date and go with these chicks to improve your sociability, charisma, and confidence. But you will get jaded inevitably and simple repetition may cause you to seeing all of the matches as nothing but potential lays. This will then cloud your judgement on some girls that actually may be quite nice. ANd there are those out there. I would reccomend reading up on text game and the tinder thread to see what some of the flags are even when you match and start texting. But in general you'll have to see when you meet, and keep an open mind but always press the interaction as far you can.
But of course you need to be very careful, in both ways. The large majority will be NOT good long term material. You should still date and go with these chicks to improve your sociability, charisma, and confidence. But you will get jaded inevitably and simple repetition may cause you to seeing all of the matches as nothing but potential lays. This will then cloud your judgement on some girls that actually may be quite nice. ANd there are those out there. I would reccomend reading up on text game and the tinder thread to see what some of the flags are even when you match and start texting. But in general you'll have to see when you meet, and keep an open mind but always press the interaction as far you can.
I actually think it could be a green flag under the right circumstances. Think about it, a girl who has:
1) no orbiters
2) a laid-back, non-party lifestyle
She'll probably have to resort to dating apps to meet men. The women who don't use dating apps are consistently surrounding themselves with cock through social circle, social media, and nightlife.
1) no orbiters
2) a laid-back, non-party lifestyle
She'll probably have to resort to dating apps to meet men. The women who don't use dating apps are consistently surrounding themselves with cock through social circle, social media, and nightlife.
What I want to know is
"Is 50% of my posts starting low value threads too high of a ratio?"New thread
"Is 50% of my posts starting low value threads too high of a ratio?"New thread
_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example
"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs
"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
If girl has no other significant red flags, you can ignore that one.
I know some girls who use it for getting laid and i know some who are genuinely in search of boyfriends. One of them is even a virgin.
You never know until you meet her.
I know some girls who use it for getting laid and i know some who are genuinely in search of boyfriends. One of them is even a virgin.
You never know until you meet her.
Quote: (04-23-2017 10:47 PM)Graft Wrote:
I actually think it could be a green flag under the right circumstances. Think about it, a girl who has:
1) no orbiters
2) a laid-back, non-party lifestyle
She'll probably have to resort to dating apps to meet men. The women who don't use dating apps are consistently surrounding themselves with cock through social circle, social media, and nightlife.
Solid point. Additionally, I suspect these apps have a very high turnover rate, meaning chicks try them and the good ones become very quickly disinterested and turned off by the perverted/thirsty guys out there. So if you meet one of these chicks that is just trying it out, she neither has the history nor inclination to whore around, so she's going to be a good possibility.
The key again, is just meeting up in person and finding out then and through dating if it gets serious. Easy solution that is kind of self evident.
Quote: (04-23-2017 10:47 PM)Graft Wrote:
I actually think it could be a green flag under the right circumstances. Think about it, a girl who has:
1) no orbiters
2) a laid-back, non-party lifestyle
She'll probably have to resort to dating apps to meet men. The women who don't use dating apps are consistently surrounding themselves with cock through social circle, social media, and nightlife.
In my opinion if a girl has no orbiters there is something wrong with her. That is what they are programmed to do as women, to attract men. I'm not saying she has to be fucking anyone or be annoying about it, but a normal woman should have some guys in her life to some degree that are interested in her.
Think about it like this, if you knew a guy who hadn't been laid in years and had no significant relationship with any women in that time, wouldn't you think he is abnormal, weird, or depressed?
In my experience with tinder and bumble, the quality of girls that match me suck, their personalities are atrocious, and they are losers in the game. Tinder is a red flag for me.
Would you think it was reasonable for a girl to view the fact that you were on Tinder as a red flag? Girls want the best options available to them - it has ever been thus. Tinder etc are just tools for increasing their range of options. Even nice, sweet girls want to go on dates, be found attractive, find a guy they like, etc etc. With the tools at our disposal these days for dating, even nice girls are likely to fuck a few guys off Tinder or the equivalent over their dating lifetime. For those looking for LTRs, a certain amount of realism about the state of play seems to me to be essential for maximising your own happiness.
No. Everyone is on a dating app these days. That's almost like saying it's a red flag if a girl has a smart phone or has a social media account. Sure in a perfect world every girl we find attractive would be a virgin who has never kissed another guy but somehow is a natural in bed and doesn't know what the internet is, but that's not realistic.
That said just like any girl you meet it needs to be taken on a case-by-case basis. I think there are plenty of LTR potential women on online dating, just like there are also plenty of whores on online dating. A lot of shut-in introvert types are on Tinder because they don't really meet men any other way because they don't go out much or are shy etc. when you get to know her better then you can start deducing whether or not she is relationship material.
That said just like any girl you meet it needs to be taken on a case-by-case basis. I think there are plenty of LTR potential women on online dating, just like there are also plenty of whores on online dating. A lot of shut-in introvert types are on Tinder because they don't really meet men any other way because they don't go out much or are shy etc. when you get to know her better then you can start deducing whether or not she is relationship material.
Not always. I met this 23 y/o virgin from tinder, a true introvert. She had only kissed one guy in her life, on her 18th birthday. Her friend had pressured her to get tinder, and also to meet me. It took me 4 movie nights to fuck her, but nothing beats the sensation of entering the holy land when it's untouched. Had her as my fuckbuddy for some months afterwards.
She had some other yellow/reddish flags, but it had nothing to do with her tinder account.
She had some other yellow/reddish flags, but it had nothing to do with her tinder account.
I ran a few tests on POF with different profiles and photos of different people. Some findings:
1) the more attractive you are the more messages you'll get
2) the more fun your profile is the more messages you'll get
3) if you're ugly-average looking you'll get very few messages if any, regardless of anything else
4) if you are very attractive you'll get multiple messages following up why you didn't reply, like "Did you get my message? I'm probably not your type."
5) looking younger than your age will get you less messages
6) attractive women don't tend to message much if at all
7) almost all message are "hey [there]" or similar, regardless of how attractive you are, you are probably part of a message bomb
If you are attractive and have a boring profile, changing it to fun will get an extra lot of messages.
So from the point of the bulk of women who are messaging. They are messaging based on looks and the fun factor, which are not going to be a good basis for an LTR.
However, the quality of the women who message is not that great. Even if you are a solid 9-10, most of your messages will be from 5s, 6s, 7s with the occasional weak 8. i.e. the women who are messaging are looking to trade up considerably, which is also not a good basis for an LTR.
One good thing about online over approaching would be that you have bios and various stats available and there can be plenty of green/red flags in there. Some good greens for LTR:
Intention: marriage/LTR (though marriage could also be red)
Religion: Christian/cultural Christian (Libertarian conservative)
Children: 0, but wants children
Other: not into partying, drinking, drugs, feminism, leftism; into: reading, walking, weekend breaks, Trump
Though with online I think there are a lot of not serious women on there and its more slog as you have loads of other guys bombarding hotties with messages. In my area there is this girl who has been on POF for about five years and checks the account regularly. However, she's moved to another country and has a fiance there. My guess is she just has it as an ego boost and I think that's fairly common.
I think being online being a red flag depends on their motives for being online:
Where are all the good men/gentlemen? - RED
Single mum - RED
Shy - GREEN
Conservative - GREEN
Trying to shop up in SMV - RED
Gold digging - RED
Most women and men are using the site to get superficial value: looks and maybe money for women (but doesn't seem to be a big factor for women sending messages). However, there are women that are looking for a specific guy for an LTR. These are who you want to look for. They'll probably be looking for 7+, late 20s+, stable, good income, conservative etc.
1) the more attractive you are the more messages you'll get
2) the more fun your profile is the more messages you'll get
3) if you're ugly-average looking you'll get very few messages if any, regardless of anything else
4) if you are very attractive you'll get multiple messages following up why you didn't reply, like "Did you get my message? I'm probably not your type."
5) looking younger than your age will get you less messages
6) attractive women don't tend to message much if at all
7) almost all message are "hey [there]" or similar, regardless of how attractive you are, you are probably part of a message bomb
If you are attractive and have a boring profile, changing it to fun will get an extra lot of messages.
So from the point of the bulk of women who are messaging. They are messaging based on looks and the fun factor, which are not going to be a good basis for an LTR.
However, the quality of the women who message is not that great. Even if you are a solid 9-10, most of your messages will be from 5s, 6s, 7s with the occasional weak 8. i.e. the women who are messaging are looking to trade up considerably, which is also not a good basis for an LTR.
One good thing about online over approaching would be that you have bios and various stats available and there can be plenty of green/red flags in there. Some good greens for LTR:
Intention: marriage/LTR (though marriage could also be red)
Religion: Christian/cultural Christian (Libertarian conservative)
Children: 0, but wants children
Other: not into partying, drinking, drugs, feminism, leftism; into: reading, walking, weekend breaks, Trump
Though with online I think there are a lot of not serious women on there and its more slog as you have loads of other guys bombarding hotties with messages. In my area there is this girl who has been on POF for about five years and checks the account regularly. However, she's moved to another country and has a fiance there. My guess is she just has it as an ego boost and I think that's fairly common.
I think being online being a red flag depends on their motives for being online:
Where are all the good men/gentlemen? - RED
Single mum - RED
Shy - GREEN
Conservative - GREEN
Trying to shop up in SMV - RED
Gold digging - RED
Most women and men are using the site to get superficial value: looks and maybe money for women (but doesn't seem to be a big factor for women sending messages). However, there are women that are looking for a specific guy for an LTR. These are who you want to look for. They'll probably be looking for 7+, late 20s+, stable, good income, conservative etc.
^The only caveat to your tests is that you are only creating profiles for women who message men, when in all likelyhood most women will send very few cold messages if any. The ones who do send messages are the ones who are more forward and likely more slutty. Any woman, even unattractive ones, get a lot of messages daily which will be more than enough to keep them busy chatting with men without having to messages others.
@gework that's probably the worst app to run a test on, POF in my opinion is bottom of the barrel, with OK Cupid being a runner up.
Secondly there have been plenty of tests with fake profiles and studies also.
Stalin's right, that's a flawed test since the majority of women don't open men online (excluding Bumble).
You can tailor make your profile, and be completely on point.
However, sometimes it's the luck of the draw or in the apps formula/stats that will net you that one girl.
Online Dating shouldn't be any man's bread and butter unless time is a major issue for you - don't make it a crutch.
Secondly there have been plenty of tests with fake profiles and studies also.
Stalin's right, that's a flawed test since the majority of women don't open men online (excluding Bumble).
You can tailor make your profile, and be completely on point.
However, sometimes it's the luck of the draw or in the apps formula/stats that will net you that one girl.
Online Dating shouldn't be any man's bread and butter unless time is a major issue for you - don't make it a crutch.
The issue with girls being on the dating apps is that they will constantly have 10+ guys blowing them up at all times. I know some ugly girls on these apps and they still get 50+ matches daily with guys.
I know, and have met some good girls on these apps but they are very few and far Between. Most of the tinder/bumble girls are your typical strong independent feminist types that are insufferable to be around.
I know, and have met some good girls on these apps but they are very few and far Between. Most of the tinder/bumble girls are your typical strong independent feminist types that are insufferable to be around.
For me, yes. But maybe my demographic is slightly different than most of you living in the U.S. Not every girl is on Tinder or Happn here.
All girls I've met online had something slightly off about their personality, which I think is why they were doing online to start with. They weren't hood rats or ugly or anything, they were mostly 7's from middle or upper class.
And I'm not saying I wouldn't have banged regardless, but I certainly would've picked up on their behavior if we had met during the day or at a club.
I also have a very high standard girls need to pass before I trust them, and none of the online girls ever have.
Keep the saying in mind - "meet her online, lose her online". Once she knows how much attention she can get from guys via dating apps, it's more often than not a matter of when, rather than if, she's going to back to her old account.
All girls I've met online had something slightly off about their personality, which I think is why they were doing online to start with. They weren't hood rats or ugly or anything, they were mostly 7's from middle or upper class.
And I'm not saying I wouldn't have banged regardless, but I certainly would've picked up on their behavior if we had met during the day or at a club.
I also have a very high standard girls need to pass before I trust them, and none of the online girls ever have.
Keep the saying in mind - "meet her online, lose her online". Once she knows how much attention she can get from guys via dating apps, it's more often than not a matter of when, rather than if, she's going to back to her old account.
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