[Boldoff]

I went for a reach a month ago, said "fuck it" and asked out what I would consider a HB8.

Backstory: I'm still fairly inexperienced, so dating up is dangerous territory for my psyche. It's like going into upper division college level courses without taking the prereqs, some people can do it but the vast majority need the background skill.

I took her on several dates, probably with the intention of a STR/LTR because I was obviously developing oneitis. I then started ignoring signals from other girls because they were much uglier in comparison, so I became dependent on this girl.

Couple nights ago, she basically was playing an insane amount of games at a party I was throwing at my place and sending mixed signals. General disrespect. If there was a case study on "shit-tests", this was it. And this is after I took her on a $50 lunch earlier that day.

Towards the end, as she was leaving she commented: "why are you acting so weird?" and that really ticked me the fuck off.

Now I know the proper steps moving forward is to ghost this bitch, i've already deleted her number. But I need some advice from some of you vets, how do you get a high-quality girl off your mind?

I'm guessing the answer is "get more girls", but I'm not satisfied with the general quality of the "other" girls.

These are some dark psychological avenues to venture down, dating-up can really fuck people up if they do not develop the "game" skills necessary to keep a HB7+ in check.

LESSONS LEARNED: If you do not develop "game" to an adequate/satisfactory level, you can very much psychologically ruin yourself. I really learned the value of learning game, respecting the art, and valuing what it can bring into your life. Jesus....you read about these things all over the place, all the time, but don't really understand them until getting smacked in the face by life. Then these lessons all suddenly "click".

[Vaun]

It sounds like you are ok. As long as she doesn't know the psychological circle jerk you are putting yourself through right now, then you are fine. She may have been testing you to see if you are for real. Tell her you were stressed because you think someone stole an expensive watch of yours. Just make up some bullshit. But if she is still around, and you didnt go ape shit on her, then use this as practice. Practice holding your frame on her, and dont ghost her. She may have pissed you completely off, believe me, I've been there. But if she is still hanging on, use this experience to work on yourself, while you continue to keep your 8.

[doc holliday]

She was definitely testing you. Let me ask you this, how were the dates with her? Was she totally into you or was it more like you were trying to sell yourself to her during those dates? Had you had sex with her yet? If not, was there physical contact ie kissing, hands all over her etc? Good looking chicks definitely require more work since they have more options but once they're into you, you can get them to chase you around a bit. They usually fall pretty hard since they're not used to chasing but being chased instead.

I would undelete her number, contact her again and see if you can rekindle. Like Vaun said, just make some BS up about that night, who cares. Even if it doesn't work out, no biggie. Every dude has failed with a chick and most dudes have failed with chicks that don't even look so hot so forget about beating yourself up. Look at this way, you picked up one HB8 so guess what? You'll do it again. In the meantime, enjoy the challenge of trying to get her back in the fold. The game is supposed to be fun right?

[PainPositive]

Don't take hot girls out on expensive luncheons, put them on a pedestal, fail their shit tests, not fuck their brains out, develop oneitis for them, and expect to have a good outcome.

You did all these things according to your story. This is shitty game. Go back and think about where you went wrong and what you should've said/done differently. Do better on the next one.

Don't go back to this girl, you're not ready for a girl that hot.

Do some more approaching and get some lays and you'll feel better. If you really think you're psychologically damaged from something like fucking it up with a girl you're fragile. Toughen up buttercup, life doesn't get much easier that practicing game and talking to pretty girls.

[XXL]

Getting more girls on not THE answer actually. All it does is opens tour eyes and shifts your focus on other girls to help you relax with that one girl. However if other girls are uninspiring like in your case then it does not work that well as yoi can see.

The answer is to learn how respect yourself more than anyone at all times and how to deal with women in general whether you have 1, 2 or more. Unfortunately it takes some time and more or less first hand experiences to get it what theory really means.

If you want to learn it get ready to get burned.

[Dalaran1991]

(03-19-2017 09:54 PM)Boldoff Wrote:  

I'm guessing the answer is "get more girls", but I'm not satisfied with the general quality of the "other" girls.

You have an oneitis, and you are giving oneitis excuses.

When you are under a spell, you feel like no girl can ever hold a candle to her.

This is totally natural but it is not true, simply based on the fact that you dont even know how the other girls are yet.

If its just physical, there are tons of girls who are HB8 that you certainly know or even talked with. How can you say that they are of low quality unless you have bedded them and known them.

If its not, what makes this girl special? Other than the fact that she is the hottest you ever dated?

Guys always have a tendency to cling onto "the one who got away" or the hottest girls they could find at the time, and build them up in their mind as being somethign special. This goes triple if you didn't bang the girl (Did you bang her, by the way?)

Also, why are you "dating" instead of gaming? Is there a reason for this?

You should NEVER date / LTR until you are sure the girl has good LTR qualities (and you actually need a lot of game/experience to even recognize LTR qualities) You game girls, fuck them, plate them, promote them. Dont short-circuit the system unless you have very clear valid reasons to (a girl who is very pleasant and also a virgin, for example)

Dating a girl while not fucking them make you emotionally invest in them and you also recognize this.

The fastest (not the best) way to cure an obsession is to replace it with another obsession. Go out, game other girls and get to know them, and you soon realize that all girls are the same and should not make you lose sleep at night.

In the long term develop better emotional control and self-love to mitigate damage from oneitis.

[Slam]

(03-20-2017 07:29 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

(03-19-2017 09:54 PM)Boldoff Wrote:  

I'm guessing the answer is "get more girls", but I'm not satisfied with the general quality of the "other" girls.

You have an oneitis, and you are giving oneitis excuses.

Agree with Dalaran.

It's good that you're getting this experience so you'll learn from it, but there's no psychologically easy way out of One-itis. Just move on from her. Force yourself to. Don't talk to her or get drawn into her dumb games.

Every second you spend putting attention, time, or emotion into this girl is taking away from the rest of your life and finding better girl.

[poutsara]

(03-19-2017 09:54 PM)Boldoff Wrote:  

I went for a reach a month ago, said "fuck it" and asked out what I would consider a HB8.

Continue to say "fuck it" and reach higher.