[wonderer1]

Got a number today day gaming, well not even a number, I approached this girl and our conversation was about 3/4 mins, she gave me her fb name and went off. I didnt get a chance to really say much at all, I add her on there and we talk, she ends up asking ME out for a drink, I say sounds good are you free tomorrow? she says shes not but is free next week.

This is the second girl who has pushed out a date for quite a long time away, I feel this is too long as our interaction was so short she'll forget about the emotion of today and just flake. This is why I try and push for dates in the next 2/3 days.

How do I play this? Do I keep up communication until friday/sat then ask if shes free mon/tues? I know communication should only be for setting up dates normally but feel this is a bit different. What should I do?

[torridon747]

This just happened to me today. I'm not sure how other people handle it or if I'm doing the right thing.

I told her she sounds like a busy girl and if her schedule clears up to drop me a line and left it at that. I thought of it as softly calling out some bullshit flaky behaviour early on but I feel I did the wrong thing. Monitering thread.

edit: that was after a date though. Your situation seems different. I would think of something exciting a push for the meet sooner. If she doesn't go for it at all that's probably a bad sign. Regardless, game other girls and you'll find one that's down

[wonderer1]

(02-07-2017 06:18 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

This just happened to me today. I'm not sure how other people handle it or if I'm doing the right thing.

I told her she sounds like a busy girl and if her schedule clears up to drop me a line and left it at that. I thought of it as softly calling out some bullshit flaky behaviour early on but I feel I did the wrong thing. Monitering thread.

edit: that was after a date though. Your situation seems different. I would think of something exciting a push for the meet sooner. If she doesn't go for it at all that's probably a bad sign. Regardless, game other girls and you'll find one that's down

Thanks for reponse. Im approaching a ton of girls and some are at various stages, im pretty new to day game but definitely picking up a few girls. This is just the second one who is t rying to reschedule for quite far ahead, this is also different because she asked me out before I was going to ask her! Wanted to see what the more experienced guys thought of playing out this situation!

Shes already said she cant tomorrow, and this week, I think pushing for something else this week would look needy and could kill it?

[torridon747]

When you're gearing up to go do something at least mildly interesting text her you're doing X in an hour and she's welcome to tag along. I think this may accomplish a few things. It shows you have a good life with or without her, it's the type of spontaneity girls like, and if she really is attracted to you and wants to see you again she will feel bad for declining and maybe even push for a meeting later. Thoughts?

[Remington]

The reason why she scheduled something so far out is because she wants to have something to do that week until something better comes up in her schedule.

That could be a date with another guy, a girls night consisting of shoveling ice cream down her gullet, drinking wine, and finger blasting herself to 10 Things I Hate About You, or getting drunk and fucking one of her guys she has on call.

Just play it cool and text hit her up once or twice every few days and then set try to solidify an actual day to meet up.

I remember a girl that asked me out and I wasn't able to schedule anything until the week after. I didn't care so I kept in touch every once and a while and then scheduled something.

Having other girls you can call will make care less as well. If she flakes, screw it, you have other options. If she doesn't, then try to have fun and not act butthurt in front of her about her making you wait so long.

[LeoneVolpe]

^ Co-signed.

Conventional wisdom says the more interested a girl is, the easier she'll make setting up a date with her, but this isn't always the case. Maybe her reasons for postponing are legitimate, maybe they're bullshit. Either way, you won't know for sure and it's not worth asking. As Remington said, maintain casual contact until your date and keep developing fresh prospects in the meantime.

The more girls you have in your pipeline, the less invested you'll be in the outcome of any one particular interaction. And who knows? If you play your cards right, you might have other plans next week and end up flaking on her.

[rainy]

I suggest figuring out just how tight her schedule is and how inflexible her plans are.

I'd do something like call/text her at 6pm on Sat, say you have two tickets for a night time helicopter ride that evening, dinner after, and she has 20 mins to reply yes or no.

If she replies no but still wants to see you next week, then she legitimately has a packed schedule.

If she says yes, then you play it off as "thought you were too busy but now that you're free, we're going to do something else". She'll say "what about the helicopter ride?". You again play that off. "Please, you're cute but I save the chopper for the 2nd date, I just wanted to get you over here with me where you belong".

You just have to present a can't-miss offer, real or not. Get your answer. The confidence to the above "yes" scenario is a magnet to women.

[Rawmeo]

Text her in a day or 2 to book the day - if she books one, then it's all right. If she keeps shitting things like "I will let you know", "I'm not sure yet", it means that she's looking for better options, and if no other options come up, she'll probably consider you. Up to you to decide how you feel about that.

Edit: Just saw the above post - that's a bit of an extreme example but the point is valid: People prioritize. If someone invites you to have lunch but you are working, you'll have to say no to one of them - in that case, the lunch, because work is more important. If this girl has 2 proposals on Monday night: see you, or have coffee with her girlfriends. She'll be "busy" for one of them - the least important. That's how everyone works, men too.

[The Catalyst]

In general I've learned not to overthink it and just try again for the reschedule and forget the bs about losing frame. Obviously you don't want to supplicate too far but logistics is just a hurdle you have to be simple and logical about.

[scheme00]

This is the way I handle setting up dates and it works the best out of anything I have ever tried. Credit goes to coach Corey Wayne. When I am setting up an initial meetup it must only be at night, always and the logistics of sex must be accounted for. Meaning, it must be near your house or near her house to end up there. To schedule it I always ask "what's your schedule like this week/towards the end of the week/towards the weekend?" It will make her give you some options that meet both of your schedules. Some people are very busy and a date "next week" I'm ok with, however the flake rate factor will at least double. In that case I say "great, I'll touch base with you over the weekend to see when our schedules match up." Then that's how I follow through. I text them a few days later with "hope your weekend is going well, what's a good night for you this week to meet up?" If you get the run around then the girl is just not interested enough.

[ExploringReality]

According to my limited experience, it doesn't matter as long as you created a powerful impression when you met her and planned the date. Once I met a german girl, but I had to travel for 2 weeks just the very next day, so we planned to meet each other when I was back. No problems at all, her interest level was still high when we met. Just tomorrow I-m meeting a japanese girl that I had a 1st date before Christmas, and I've been visiting my family over the holidays, so it-s been...almost 1 month in between. Well see if she flakes but it doesn't seem likely.

So I would venture and say that as long as it is because of you, and as long as she is interested at some important level, it wouldn't matter. After all, we have guys like Krauser playing his long-game. Then again, Im as a new a you can get, so just my 2cents.

[Mufasa]

Just text her next week.

In the future if a girl (especially in the US) gives you her Facebook but not her number laugh in her face, turn your back to her; walk off.
IG is a a completely different beast; refer to the IG data sheet thread on that type of game.

[General Stalin]

She may be busy, she may not be. As others have said you can't rightly know and it's not your place to be probing her about it. Just say "cool sounds good" and hit her up again next week. Hell maybe she is on her period and doesn't want that to ruin possible sex with you

Nowadays I make dates with girls a week out a lot of the time simply because I end up being tied up all week when I start chatting with them. It happens.

[The_e_man]

More often that not, she's probably going to be a flake. The type of flake that likes to either: (a) string nice guys along, or (b) doesn't want to be confrontational and tell you "nah, I'm not interested bud"

There is a chance however that she is legitimately bust and legitimately wants to see you and is forced to reschedule.
But if a girl is interested and wants to see you, she'll find time. I promise you that.

[RatInTheWoods]

This is definitely a solid sign of her not being interested in you.

Don't blow it off, but put minimum effort and expectation to keep it ticking for that next week date.

Meanwhile pursue other options, because you know she is....

[heavy]

Wherever you are on the 'thinking about her' scale, dial it down to 1.

If you're thinking she's into you and looking forward to hanging out and disappointed she's busy, you're probably at an 8. Dial it back to 1.

If you're thinking she is actually interested but she's busy, you're probably at a 3 on the scale. Dial it back to 1.

Now that you're at a 1 on the thinking about her scale, just text her next week and forget about it.

I know this is tough for some guys, but you'll learn this is how life goes. Either she's not that interested (for whatever reason, usually nothing to do about you) or she's legitimately busy until next week. In either case, your pursuit should be the same.

What good sales guys will tell you (often times players)...the first thing you should do when you get a job offer is to go get a few more job offers so you aren't needy.

[wonderer1]

Thanks for input so far, think there must be some interest as she asked me out, instead of me asking her out. just gunna message her next week and see what happens. Im approaching other girls. This is the second time a girl ive approached during the day has pushed out to next week so wanted to see what the best way to handle it would be. Thanks

[XPQ22]

(02-08-2017 04:40 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  

Thanks for input so far, think there must be some interest as she asked me out, instead of me asking her out. just gunna message her next week and see what happens. Im approaching other girls. This is the second time a girl ive approached during the day has pushed out to next week so wanted to see what the best way to handle it would be. Thanks

Girls flake. They don't show up. They don't text back. They blow you off and say "we'll see" and say next week when they mean two days from now or maybe never.

Sometimes it's good to be proactive in getting what you want. Other times it's best just to do nothing.

With girls I don't know well who blow me off, when I'm not sure what tack to take, doing nothing is my go-to option. You can always do worse, but without more intel you can almost never do better.

"Handling" things by just waiting is a perfectly viable option.

(02-07-2017 06:18 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

This just happened to me today. I'm not sure how other people handle it or if I'm doing the right thing.

I told her she sounds like a busy girl and if her schedule clears up to drop me a line and left it at that. I thought of it as softly calling out some bullshit flaky behaviour early on but I feel I did the wrong thing. Monitering thread.

FWIW I've never banged a girl who got flakey on me after a first date. A couple months ago a girl started making out with me in my car after a first date I thought went really well, but she put up a lot of resistance to bouncing. Okay, fine, have a good night.

I hit her up again for a round two and she did the "well I'd like to but I'm really busy this week and..."

"No problem, I understand." Then deleted her number. She was into me in the moment, but wasn't anymore. I know from experience that some girls won't bang on the first date...but the ones who do want it won't be wishy-washy about a second. Uphill battle, I'd be throwing good money after bad trying to get her out again. Easier to try again with someone else.

Sucks, but those are the breaks.

[The_e_man]

Brilliant responses in this thread. And we have members from many different background essentially all conclusively agreeing with each other. Love it.

[Courage Reborn]

"Sometime next week".

Flakier cousin to the more straightforward "let's just be friends".

Translates to, "I'm not in the mood now. You're welcome to try again later. But I don't care either way."

Playing it cool will get you nowhere.

Instead, you should be thinking about ways to make her actually feel something towards you.

Over text? Yup. It's not like the bitch is gonna answer her phone..

"Aw would love to but I'm flying to paris next week! Damn girl. Ok dont worry have an idea. We go 007 and smuggle you aboard. We go shopping for disguises THIS Thurs. Not TOO sexy. I'll be distracted and you'll totally blow my cover..."

Keep sending her funny, engaging shit. The answer to indifference is more game.

Playing it cool from a non-position is just lame as hell. Cool is a luxury play for chicks who have already hooked properly. "Sometime next week" doesn't qualify.

[The_e_man]

(02-09-2017 05:57 AM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  

Cool is a luxury play for chicks who have already hooked properly.

Bro. Thank you for articulating this into words for me. You can only play things "cool" and be "chill and laid back" (i.e. don't pursue and don't spit any game) if they girl is already interested and hooked on you.

Who know who gets to play things "cool" all the time? My really good-looking non-game friends. They have the luxury of being "cool" because some girls are very much attracted to just physical looks and they will do all the work to get these guys. These guys can show up, be "cool" and be "non-creepy" and will still have many options.
If they learned game and pumped things up a bit and did some more pursuing and started acting "less cool" and "more creepy" then their results would probably sky-rocket. I even tried explaining this to them. But alas, why would they want to go through that trouble and effort and potential ego embarrassment if they already have a solid stream of attractive girls coming their way and putting in the work?

Anyways, the point I want to make so I don't derail OP's thread too much is this:
OP, if she's not hooked to you then playing things cool won't get you anywhere. She will respond to coolness with indifference.

[joecolombia]

Im not sure if rescheduling is a subtle way of curve balling us though. I have been trying to get with a girl that always reschedules and have only accepted one coffee date. We had one today but she hitted me up with "my father wants to have me over later today" and only confirmed when it was too late to do anything.

If she is clear that she wants to meet you again and offers a valid excuse, that might be the exception.

[Liberto]

If you would like to talk and date with her then you should keep continue I think.

[LastKing]

You do the opposite of handle: drop.

[goodington]

(02-09-2017 05:57 AM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  

"Aw would love to but I'm flying to paris next week! Damn girl. Ok dont worry have an idea. We go 007 and smuggle you aboard. We go shopping for disguises THIS Thurs. Not TOO sexy. I'll be distracted and you'll totally blow my cover..."

Please do not do anything like this, it's much too tryhard. She already said she was busy, so do not try to convince her to change her mind. It just comes off as needy and desperate. Either she is actually busy which is fine, or you did not generate enough interest during the approach and she's blowing you off. Either way you're not getting a date on Thursday no matter how much clever texting you do.