[Anarchist101]

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Hello Gents,

Consider this an introductory, since I am new to the forum. I will keep this as short as possible. But feel free to critique, suggest or be inspired. I plan on being very active here, as I will be overcoming some severe restraints I have when it comes to The game.

Firstly, I am your typical AFC. I have a severe case of Approach Anxiety. Talking to the opposite sex is no problem, until I decide I want that woman. My mind goes blank after 1-3 minutes in a conversation. In high school, and college, I never had girl friends. Whether it was the hottest babe in school, asking me to join her at the lunch table in the cafeteria when I was in 9th grade, or having to have my friends yell and physical shove me off the table to go ask the cute red head to go to prom with me, I have always had a problem talking to women.

However, spending 5 years abroad helped me a lot. I developed a much more outgoing personality, lost virginity, had my first LTR which I ended 3.5 years later (about 6 weeks ago), and even developed a way to talk to women despite my inhibitions (AKA Wait for the pretty lady to go up to the bar, and meet her there and yell my drink order in English "Oh you are not Polish?" ).

Obviously this won't work well in the States.

Now however, after ending my 3.5 year LTR, I have been studying up on what I first thought was a dead community. I started with what I already knew from taking a Venusian arts bootcamp back in 2009. Studying up on all the old pua's, which I started out with. I read "the game", and mystery's book back in '07.

What's different now vs then

Well for one, I finally approached. I have approached somewhere between 15-20 girls already, granted not impressive for 9 days (still making my way up to the 100 like Roosh says.) Majority of my friends abroad love going out. Here in the states, my friends just despise going out (whatever). So I just do it myself.

Before Europe, you wouldn't catch me dead going to a bar or club by myself. Now, I have no problem with it. So that challenge is over. Granted, my improv skills need some work, which I will just keep going to those venues and trying to open groups until I can own the place.

Also, I live in a big city, Houston, however it is very different from other cities. In the part of town I live in, there is very little night life, and due to the lack of public transport, I have to consider parking in places like midtown and Rice village (the prime bar points for younger ladies). So the majority of my approaches have been at the mall, and attractive female employees in other businesses.

Challenges to overcome

Well, I already said I have severe approach anxiety, but unlike 7 years ago, I am actively dealing with it. I recently bought "Bang" in audiobook format. After stepping out of the car for a smoke at a grocery store, a cute Asian walked by and I failed to open despite good eye contact. However, I realized my heart was pumping, and my chest, back and shoulders got red hot, and I caught the excuses I was making dead in there tracks. It was an "Aha!" moment. So I went up and said "hi".

Another problem is kind of two fold. Girls with whom I have had decent conversations with, especially employees, I fail to ask for a number. Just yesterday, I went and opened two mall walkers, and two employees. One of each were fun times, but I just failed to ask for a number. Kicking myself, I said "screw it", went across the street to a bar/grill I know, opened a waitress, despite the piss poor conversation, I forced myself to ask for a number and get her name. She rejected, as expected, but I think this engraved in my brain to remember to ask.

Finally, I have no friends who enjoy the "going out" experience like I do. No problem, I will make new ones, or I will go to the field alone for now. Neither bothers me. Of course if you live in Houston, send me a message, we will own the town.

Cool, I am glad there is still an active PUA community. I started to think it was dead at one point.

[Silver_Tube]

Hi, welcome.

I think the community is less active now because most of the advice has been written, little refinement remains to be done. There is a lot of fascinating stuff coming out about maintaining LTR's, but the pickup techniques are largely settled and little remains to be explored there.

Still forums and stuff are helpful, so we can synthesize all this material. The megathreads in the game forum are really useful, especially for newer venues like tinder and shit. I too live in an area without much nightlife, North Carolina home of the tranny free bathrooms.

I still have nights where I'm paralyzed and don't have any balls to do approaches. I'm awkward about eye contact. I have one redpilled friend though, and we feed off each other and make each other go out and make attempts.

[Anarchist101]

Well after a long month or two hiatus from the forum, I am back.

I think I will use this thread as something like a journal, instead of making a new one.

Well, I hit a really low point where I simply stopped approaching for a a while. I was at a point where I kind of injured myself by paying too much attention to both this forums and finding other sources to try and overcome my anxiety. I was on track with a, I guess, program from another website that specificly deals with approach anxiety. However, then my life took a turn for worse. I lost my car for almost 2 months after going to the rave where a drunk guy hit my parked car. Cost me no money, but I was immobile for almost 2 months. Ontop of that, I had the added stress that I was getting extremely frustrated with myself when trying to approach. I would get this severe anxiousness after approaching 2 or 3 times, and I wouldn't understand why. I honestly believed "nothing bad has happened, nothing bad will happen, so why the f*** is this so damn hard??!?!"

So, I finally felt I had exhausted the internet on this issue, and instead I started focusing more on my health and excercise. After losing 27lbs I hit a plateau at around 211-214lbs hovering in that area for about 3 weeks. So I decided to start waking up at 4am before work so I could go walk/jog/sprints. Also I cut carbs to one meal a day during the weekdays. Also I took Jim Stoppani's workout and I have been slowly getting back to a more regular weightlifting routine.

So far this put me over the edge, and I am now down to 205.2lbs, and my bmi is getting lower so this gave me a focus for my mind.

However in the last couple of weeks on the game front, I had multiple energizing successes ( no, haven't gotten laid yet). A lot of it has to do with not only taking innitiative by myself, but finding new friends, as I first stated, in order to have a kind of support group.

First, a group I am a part of that meets once a month for a kind of lecture/discussion on game, and then we go out, I had a very motivating experience. I ended up losing count of how many times I approached at the night club. I simply was having fun, and it took me back to when I was in eastern Europe. I really was shocked I could do that, so the work must have paid off. That was two weekends ago. I have had multiple paradigm shifting moments from these guys that just utterly makes sense. Like going out with mind set of having fun, or getting something instead of just to hit on girls. It works for me. Also, taking the psychological definition of extrovert and introvert completely changed the way I view myself. I am actually an extrovert, though meaningless to most, this has done wonders in changing my state of mind over the last 6 weeks.

Then another chip fell into place. Some guys that were looking for others to do this stuff with on another forum, finally decided to meetup with me since one in their group fell out of favor. Since then almost every day we go out and approach at malls, grocery stores, strip centers. It's more of the support group I have been trying to assemble for the last couple of months. We bounce ideas off, push eachother when we are in a rut, and hold eachother accountable for getting out and putting in the work.

Then, two days ago, I got my first ever, in a lifetime, number from a cold approach I did at the mall. I was just happy I finally had some kind of tangible sign, that I am on somewhat of a right track. That I am getting better, I need to keep going. That was a well needed sign.

I am approaching with more regularity, but still not an approach machine like greenman for instance.

I find myself having a hard time sucking it up and stopping girls who are moving, or have people around them. I don't mean their friends, just random people, say like in a crowded hallway. Also, while I am finally working in asking for a number, my friends think I should be more direct. I kind of take a cue from 'Day Bang' with talking about their phone. Or if they have crazy hair like green or red (really attractive on a thin girl imo) I compliment the hair, and that gets them talking.

I am at a point, where I think the AA wall is crumbling, but not completely gone, but the new wall I see is running out of stuff to say in a conversation after a minute or two. My friends think I should try being more direct. I may do that.

Anyways, I am going to start coming back to the forum, and log my approaches as best I can (not here), and update this on the state I am in, and hope for some advice, criticisms, and suggestions. I am making a specific point, not to spend any significant amount of time on reading or searching through this stuff, as I think it just puts me in a state where I am paralyzed. However, I have the 'Day Bang' audio book, and I am going to allow myself to re-read (listen to i guess?) it. I think with what's happening it would do me good to remind myself the simple thing Roosh advocated since I am doing more stuff from him, than any other.