[Aquinas]

Hi there guys. I've been a longtime reader of rvf, rok, and the manosphere in general. A lot of what I read here really resonates. It's refreshing to go to a place where guys can be guys without worrying about what everyone else thinks.

However, when I read of all the guys who've gone from nothing and made something of themselves, it makes me depressed instead of inspired. Just read that rok article about 10 loser signs, and well, I've got most of them.

It's a terrible way to live. Not even living, more like existing. It's awful, and I really do want to make my own way in life. But things don't seem to work out whenever I try, and just fall back into comfortable misery. Am I screwed? Or is there a real way out?

I'm not looking for a quick fix or a pity party. I just want a solid plan to not feel like crap everyday and make something of myself. This seems like a good place to start. Any advice?

[RatInTheWoods]

You have a choice to keep being a looser or start making steps to a better life. You have a choice.

Its the small choices you make each day that add up.

Get some big sheets of paper and draw up plans, goals and the steps and activities you need to reach them.

This becomes your daily/weekly/monthly action plan.

Exercise, career, romance are all a collection of little choices you make each day.

Choose wisely.

[TornadoByProxy]

You're only a loser when you quit trying.

[angryrussian]

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Don't give unwarranted advice. People don't change (because they don't want to).

All of these sayings stem from the fact that any and all personal growth has to come from within. No outside force can make you truly change. For example, a gun to your head will not inspire you to become a different person. You will only comply up to the point that the gun is put away. The only person that can really make a change in yourself is yourself. That said, it easier to say than do.

Here is what works for me:
I gain pleasure from success. I got a lot of positive reinforcement as a kid in sports and school, so I guess I have developed a taste for being the best at what I do. Because I love success, I have to constantly better myself. That is why I joined this forum. Honestly, I am not as interested in getting girls as I am interested in being good at it.

Everyone here on the forum can give you advice on how they find motivation and drive, but this is something you need to discover for yourself. Find something that drives you forward and you will become who you want.