[soup]

Trying to figure out where social networking / dating websites situate the PUA in the Attraction/Comfort/Seduction model.

If your info is out in the open on your Okcupid profile, does it mean that you are already in the comfort phase ( "so, what do you do ?" etc.)?

Is that even possible without having built attraction? Can you actually build real attraction online?

Is it a DLV to 'approach' (send her a message) on okcupid because it reveals your intentions or makes you look like a needy nerd who is trying to find someone?

Is it better to go direct? ie. "you should meet me."

Should I just send a neg as the initial email to deflate their online egos a little?

I checked out some of the other online dating posts here, but couldn't find much to answer these kinds of questions.. there were some good openers, but please use this thread to list good openers as well.

Thanks.

[soup]

(08-07-2011 10:43 PM)soup Wrote:  

Trying to figure out where social networking / dating websites situate the PUA in the Attraction/Comfort/Seduction model.

If your info is out in the open on your Okcupid profile, does it mean that you are already in the comfort phase ( "so, what do you do ?" etc.)?

Is that even possible without having built attraction? Can you actually build real attraction online?

Is it a DLV to 'approach' (send her a message) on okcupid because it reveals your intentions or makes you look like a needy nerd who is trying to find someone?

Is it better to go direct? ie. "you should meet me."

Should I just send a neg as the initial email to deflate their online egos a little?

I checked out some of the other online dating posts here, but couldn't find much to answer these kinds of questions.. there were some good openers, but please use this thread to list good openers as well.

Thanks.

Here's an example of an exchange I had via IM.. I opened this new girl with a neg:

Me: I like your haircut. There is beauty in imperfection.

Her: Hah, what is the imperfection of my haircut?

Me: I'm not a hairstyle person, but I can see it. Anyway, why'd you come to town?

Her: Well what is it that you see?

Me: The pictures

Her: Yeah...but what is it that isn't quite right?

Me: A) I'm no expert B) I charge $400 for hair tips

Her: Yeah, it isn't a tip though, it's a criticism.

Me: I can't articulate it. Let me know if you want to talk about something other than your hair.

[boxwino]

I tend to go indirect. My equation is this: Too direct = too much attention for an attention whore. I have two type of responses, creative because I have fun with it or the second option (below) that have worked for me, this is for facebook btw, I tend to scan their wall or what they have "liked" and come up with something. Below is an example that took 5 minutes and I worked into a date in a few messages:

Option 1: I was in paris at the time and I saw her profile thought she was cute, scanned her wall and she had a post that said "Wanted: One classic movie moment" perfect. Here is the message:

Hey, how well do you fit into carry on?

You should get yourself over to Paris while Im here. We can set up shop in one of these little squares right on the canal, where all the tourists hang out, and when the city starts to light itself up at night we can act out wildly romantic movie moment gestures with each other for money. We could also use people from the crowd and bring them into the mix, add a little spice into their life. We'll flip coins to pick out the scenes, and have a boombox on background for the really dramatic moments where we need a little musical oomph to our little tear jerker. We'll be like a troupe of traveling vagabond romantics trying to get by in a harsh world of dreams and smiles. Don't worry if you're a little rusty, as long as you're not shy about soliciting random strangers, then just follow my lead. Whattya say, are you game?

She wrote back (later said that was the best message ever, told all her friends, blah blah) I roledplayed with her one more message, set up date/get together on 3rd message and we got together pretty quickly once I got back.

Option 2: "Hey we really don't know each other but you seem like someone I should be adding to my social network."

[megaframe]

i've tried online dating a bit myself and decided it's not worth it (not a ton of girls around to shotgun message, most are fat and even with the decent ones i lose interest fairly quickly). from what i've read messaging is pretty much a dlv, but you still gotta do it and build up your frame, they aren't gonna approach you

(08-07-2011 11:08 PM)soup Wrote:  

Me: I like your haircut. There is beauty in imperfection.

Her: Hah, what is the imperfection of my haircut?

Me: I'm not a hairstyle person, but I can see it. Anyway, why'd you come to town?

Her: Well what is it that you see?

Me: The pictures

Her: Yeah...but what is it that isn't quite right?

Me: A) I'm no expert B) I charge $400 for hair tips

Her: Yeah, it isn't a tip though, it's a criticism.

Me: I can't articulate it. Let me know if you want to talk about something other than your hair.

uhhhh i'm a newbie to game and even this is a bit painful for me to read. maybe you should have picked out some flaw in her hair instead of dodging it? or at least make up some bullshit about it. otherwise it just kinda looks like you got caught with your pants down

[soup]

(08-08-2011 12:49 AM)megaframe Wrote:  

i've tried online dating a bit myself and decided it's not worth it (not a ton of girls around to shotgun message, most are fat and even with the decent ones i lose interest fairly quickly). from what i've read messaging is pretty much a dlv, but you still gotta do it and build up your frame, they aren't gonna approach you

(08-07-2011 11:08 PM)soup Wrote:  

Me: I like your haircut. There is beauty in imperfection.

Her: Hah, what is the imperfection of my haircut?

Me: I'm not a hairstyle person, but I can see it. Anyway, why'd you come to town?

Her: Well what is it that you see?

Me: The pictures

Her: Yeah...but what is it that isn't quite right?

Me: A) I'm no expert B) I charge $400 for hair tips

Her: Yeah, it isn't a tip though, it's a criticism.

Me: I can't articulate it. Let me know if you want to talk about something other than your hair.

uhhhh i'm a newbie to game and even this is a bit painful for me to read. maybe you should have picked out some flaw in her hair instead of dodging it? or at least make up some bullshit about it. otherwise it just kinda looks like you got caught with your pants down

I was trying to avoid having to directly answer her question and letting her control the frame. Anyway.. this didn't work.

As far as opening goes.. yes it's a DLV, but it seems like you have to do it. However, isn't writing a long intro too big an investment and thus a bigger DLV than sending a neg?

[el mechanico]

Ok, Im going to run this down again.

1: Create two profiles .. one with a very goodlooking guy that is moving back to the area that is around your height and same smoking preference.

2: Just view the girls that you are interested in(with fake profile)and wait to see which ones send you messages.You can even send first messages if you want.

3: Chat them up with the fake profile and get to know what pushes their buttons.

4: The tricky part. The transition..Sometimes I will say that the only reason I am on the site is to message two of my best friends and maybe tell her to "check them out" depening on the girl I will send her to my profile or one of my buddies or like this:

Fake profile: Ouch!! my friend loves fine sistas when he sees you he's gonna freak!!

Girl: How are you? lol

FP: He hasn't messaged you yet? Im suprised..

Girl: I don't think so.lol

FP: He will!! I told him to look you up.

Girl: Ok whats his name?lol

RP (real profile) : Wow!! XXXX wasn't kidding about you! When am I picking you up and where would you like to go?

Girl: I like seafood.

RP: I will call you Friday and we can goto seafood place X (strong frozen rumrunners)

Girl : Ok

This bs has gotten me laid and makes the online thing so much easier if you create your own online wingman.

[soup]

(08-08-2011 10:19 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Ok, Im going to run this down again.

1: Create two profiles .. one with a very goodlooking guy that is moving back to the area that is around your height and same smoking preference.

2: Just view the girls that you are interested in(with fake profile)and wait to see which ones send you messages.You can even send first messages if you want.

3: Chat them up with the fake profile and get to know what pushes their buttons.

4: The tricky part. The transition..Sometimes I will say that the only reason I am on the site is to message two of my best friends and maybe tell her to "check them out" depening on the girl I will send her to my profile or one of my buddies or like this:

Fake profile: Ouch!! my friend loves fine sistas when he sees you he's gonna freak!!

Girl: How are you? lol

FP: He hasn't messaged you yet? Im suprised..

Girl: I don't think so.lol

FP: He will!! I told him to look you up.

Girl: Ok whats his name?lol

RP (real profile) : Wow!! XXXX wasn't kidding about you! When am I picking you up and where would you like to go?

Girl: I like seafood.

RP: I will call you Friday and we can goto seafood place X (strong frozen rumrunners)

Girl : Ok

This bs has gotten me laid and makes the online thing so much easier if you create your own online wingman.

That sounds like a good tactic, but how would that work if you see a really hot girl that hasn't emailed the fake profile? Anyway, does anyone have a list of or link to good online openers, or a structure for how to approach messaging online?

[el mechanico]

(08-08-2011 07:51 PM)soup Wrote:  

(08-08-2011 10:19 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Ok, Im going to run this down again.

1: Create two profiles .. one with a very goodlooking guy that is moving back to the area that is around your height and same smoking preference.

2: Just view the girls that you are interested in(with fake profile)and wait to see which ones send you messages.You can even send first messages if you want.

3: Chat them up with the fake profile and get to know what pushes their buttons.

4: The tricky part. The transition..Sometimes I will say that the only reason I am on the site is to message two of my best friends and maybe tell her to "check them out" depening on the girl I will send her to my profile or one of my buddies or like this:

Fake profile: Ouch!! my friend loves fine sistas when he sees you he's gonna freak!!

Girl: How are you? lol

FP: He hasn't messaged you yet? Im suprised..

Girl: I don't think so.lol

FP: He will!! I told him to look you up.

Girl: Ok whats his name?lol

RP (real profile) : Wow!! XXXX wasn't kidding about you! When am I picking you up and where would you like to go?

Girl: I like seafood.

RP: I will call you Friday and we can goto seafood place X (strong frozen rumrunners)

Girl : Ok

This bs has gotten me laid and makes the online thing so much easier if you create your own online wingman.

That sounds like a good tactic, but how would that work if you see a really hot girl that hasn't emailed the fake profile? Anyway, does anyone have a list of or link to good online openers, or a structure for how to approach messaging online?

Look at some of the other pof and ok cupid threads ,there's a lot of good stuff in them. I have found the most success when I have cared the least about about getting a response.

Lots of guys are spending tons of effort on message content and lot of them are sending shit like "you fine' so you have to experiment.

They always respond to my fake profile if you want to see it pm me. Its on pof but you can copy it if you want.

[silent_scope]

El Mechanico - They always respond to my fake profile <-- So let me get this straight, you use some random Fabio looking guy's picture in your fake to big-up your real profile? That creating two profiles to go back and forth with chicks, sounds like way too much work, but you say you get laid so I guess it's worth it?

I have a canned opener I got from one of the previous threads. Some chicks will play the role and reply back and forth for a few, and some will laugh and that's it. Most won't reply. I will say that the response rate is WAY better than what I was getting for tailor made messages so I stopped doing that shit. Even the short ones I sent out got less response than the funny one I use.

I kinda fuck up after about the 3rd email but that's something else I gotta work through.

[soup]

(08-09-2011 01:21 AM)silent_scope Wrote:  

El Mechanico - They always respond to my fake profile <-- So let me get this straight, you use some random Fabio looking guy's picture in your fake to big-up your real profile? That creating two profiles to go back and forth with chicks, sounds like way too much work, but you say you get laid so I guess it's worth it?

I have a canned opener I got from one of the previous threads. Some chicks will play the role and reply back and forth for a few, and some will laugh and that's it. Most won't reply. I will say that the response rate is WAY better than what I was getting for tailor made messages so I stopped doing that shit. Even the short ones I sent out got less response than the funny one I use.

I kinda fuck up after about the 3rd email but that's something else I gotta work through.

What's the opener?

[Gmac]

I recommend that you guys share openers in PRIVATE as there are a lot of lurkers who read this blog and tend to run with that shit themselves like morons. It means your opener can backfire and screw up your online game when there are multiple people in your town using the same scripted material.