[smashley]

I know there is another "let you know" thread, however has anyone experimented with withdrawing your offer of the date?

Like when you ask out a girl and the bitch comes back with "ill let you know"

Has anyone tried the immediate response of "sounds like you're busy. Another time."

And cut the bitch off, so she can't set that preemptive flake in place.

Any success with this with the girl coming back for a later date?

[Suits]

If a girl doesn't show immediate interest, I don't further waste my time pursuing her. There are more women available to me than I have time to meet for a date.

[XPQ22]

After a years worth of experiences and texts exchanged with dozens and dozens (hundreds?) of online chicks and a fair number I met in person, I will tell you this essential fact:

I have never banged an "I'll let you know" girl. Never.

The only way to keep your sanity and not waste time, these days, is to assume any sign of ambivalence or disinterest simply means "fuck off forever" and move on. There's only one way a girl can say "Yes" to a date, and you'll know it. There are a thousand ways which just translate to "No."

I think game is mostly about getting the lay with girls who are at some level with it to begin with. You're learning to successfully accommodate what in some sense they already want to do. You might call it the "art of plausible deniability."

But it takes some kind of mastery I sure don't have to sell her a television when she's looking for a bicycle.

[smashley]

Thanks guys for the replies.

This is exactly what i'm looking for.

I'm the same in experience with it. They always flake.

I'm just wondering if anyone has ever had a lizard come back and actually meet up..

I dismiss them usually, but has anyone had a girl come through?

[XPQ22]

^ I'd be interested to know as well!

I just had an online date with a standard issue "6" the other night. She told me the date venue was 5 minutes from her house, so I thought this was intentional, right? That I was in for the lay?

Wrong. I ran the same script I always do when I'm not on home territory in the 'burbs: spend about a half hour on the date seeing if she's feeling me, if she is extend another half hour, bounce to the car (they're almost always occasional smokers and I just say I like to have a clove sometimes), go for the makeout, then pitch bouncing to her place.

Everything ran like clockwork as it has many times before, and she was really into the kiss. But uh oh! Then she slams on the brakes hard with the "I'm a good girl" routine. Gotta be up for work, and all that. I'm no fan at attempting to break through "first minute" resistance, so I let her go. When that happens, I'm 90% confident that I've wasted my time...it's probably happened almost a dozen times since last year.

I've tried doing the "pull way back on the escalation, make her think you don't like her and hope she goes crazy for your cock on the second" thing. It simply doesn't seem to work, at least with online girls. They just think you're weird, ghost and are on to the next one. It's pretty much all or nothing these days.

I hit her up today and pitched another meet for the hell of it. Hours later she responded: "I'm not sure, there's some stuff happening this week so I have to check" i.e. "I'll let you know."

If I bang her, I'll let you know. But I've already deleted her number. And she was high too; I had to air my car out to remove the weed stink. More wasted time.

Those are the breaks.

[roberto]

I came in here thinking you were running an experiment on the effectiveness of pulling out before you came.

Thread title needs work.

[Jagnum]

(09-17-2016 01:54 AM)smashley Wrote:  

Like when you ask out a girl and the bitch comes back with "ill let you know"

Has anyone tried the immediate response of "sounds like you're busy. Another time."

The guys on this forum are right. A girl with tentative interest is her way of saying "no".

Now, to answer your question more specifically.

If she texts you "I'll let you know". DON'T RESPOND.

It doesn't merit a response. Assume she will not text you again.

I'm not sure how you asked her out.

Women have a hard time saying "yes", and a hard time saying "no"

You'll almost never hear from a woman before you've had sex the first time, "Yes, I want to have sex with you." She'll give you signs she does, and even if she's dying for you to fuck her, she'll still resist you on your bed, because women have a hard time saying "yes".

When you ask a woman out and she says "I'll let you know", that's her way of saying "no" without saying "no".

Women have to justify everything. They have to justify to themselves (+their friends) that they are nice and friendly people, and she does that by not rejecting you outright. But yes, she's rejecting you.


What does this mean for asking her out over text?

Trying to get a woman to directly answer yes/no can be challenging if she's on the fence about you. You might as well adopt a strategy of asking questions that don't require a direct answer to yours.

If you ask over text, "Do you want to hang out?" it's a bad question. It forces her to make a yes/no answer.

Instead, what I'll usually text is:

"Cool. We should grab a drink some time. Are you around Monday or Tuesday next week?

("Cool" being a response to something she just said after you've bantered).

That gets her to answer a related question, whether she's around Monday or Tuesday next week, instead of getting asking her to answer a yes/no question, which is difficult for a woman.

Even before you even get her number, think about getting her to invest more in the approach.


A better closing in the approach

Closing in the approach with statements like:

"We should hang out some time, and hopefully just grab a drink."

"We should grab coffee. I'm free later in the week, if that works for you."

"There's this art event I know about downtown. They open up private galleries to the public, and you can see great art. We should go sometime."

Using the "we should" statements again give her an option, an out, for her to indicate that she'd like to meet up with you again, or that she'd rather not.

Then:

"Alright. Well put your number in here".

"Nice meeting you."

So even before you've texted, you've gotten her to invest a little bit. And now over text, you can focus more on details to meet up.

If she says "maybe" on an approach where she showed little interest, I'll put my phone away at that point. I don't need another number. She's not interested, has a boyfriend, whatever. But if she says that sounds fun, then get her number. You've already got her invested into you a little bit. Of course, she could always later end up later not ending up meeting up with you, but at least now, you're getting her to invest in the approach for a future meetup. This is huge.

WIA talks extensively on this forum about getting her to invest in the approach.


--

If you want to give this girl one more shot, and I'm a fan of the general rule to: "Try three times" (credit: CleanSlate), send her a restart a day or two after you were supposed to meet.

Most likely, she'll ignore your restart. Some cases she'll respond, and you can try one more time to get her out, but beyond that, don't chase. My stock restart is "Hey how's it going. [Park in the city] was beautiful today." It's simple and easy, and you can proceed based on her response to that text. A way to ask her out again is just to say "Still down to grab a drink, if you're up for it." We're not forcing her into a yes/no question. We're making a final offer, she can either come along with you for the ride, or not, and then you move on.

[smashley]

Thanks for your replies guys. Perhaps I'm not phrasing the question correctly. I know obviously it's not a typical sign of interest. I'm not a newbie looking for advice on whether I should keep texting her. In the past I've tried either re engaging, doing nothing, or waiting and restarting later. Those have not successful. What I'm wondering if you guys have ever had a lizard come through and accept or see you after the let you know response. Then also, the one I haven't tried is straight up withdrawing the offer instantly but nicely. Any experience with this one?

That's my question.

[the1element]

I had a girl say

"Ill let you know when I find a free night"

I said "Ok'

Texted her a few days later with "yo"
had normal conversation with her, then stopped responding to her texts. Waited a day and called her, and then from there she was down to meet up, she drove about two hours and had to cross the border. She wasn't that great looking, probably a five.

I think it's really powerful to pull the phone call card out, if you call and she doesn't pick up and doesn't text you it's game over. If she texts and says "she's at work but wants you to call her when she's done" or she picks up the call it's a good sign that she's interested. Plus, the phone call is great at building comfort, she gets a taste of your personality, and what you are like and you get a taste of hers.

[smashley]

Currently experimenting with calling these types. Will let you know results. My guess is it's a bad idea. But I'm considering it research.

[Suits]

The moral of the story is: have enough bitches in your pipeline that you can afford to simply ignore any chick that doesn't show enough interest.

There are only 7 nights in a week and I certainly don't have the energy to go out every night. I feel like going out 4 nights a week at best and I'm going to want to see established friends/fuck buddies on at least 50% of those nights, so I'm not going to go on more than 2 dates a week.

If you can't line up two solid options weekly, it's time to work on your online game. Improve your photos. Get in better shape, so that you look good in said photos. Do more daygame. Etc.

[XPQ22]

(09-17-2016 03:42 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  

A better closing in the approach

Closing in the approach with statements like:

"We should hang out some time, and hopefully just grab a drink."

"We should grab coffee. I'm free later in the week, if that works for you."

"There's this art event I know about downtown. They open up private galleries to the public, and you can see great art. We should go sometime."

Using the "we should" statements again give her an option, an out, for her to indicate that she'd like to meet up with you again, or that she'd rather not.

I understand the idea, but for my part I'm not a fan of this tactic. It comes off as so ambivalent, wishy-washy, and well, kinda "beta." Girls are hip to it too, because I've seen some of the texts they get and fucking all guys do this. "Wanna maybe get a coffee sometime?" "Maybe we should hopefully grab a drink possibly sometime if you can find the time for me? Maybe Saturday, if you're not getting fucked that day? Sunday? Pretty please?"

Yuck. "Man up" and just ask her out, motherfuckers.

"I'm going to be at bar XXX on Saturday. If you're free too, come grab a drink with me."

"cool, I've wanted to go there. I'm totally free at the moment as far as I know"

That's more what I like to see. It still gives her an "out" because she's not outright rejecting a date with you. She's simply turning down being somewhere you're going to be already. Ah, okay.

I try to avoid this ambivalent "we should" stuff whenever I can. Being vague and indirect is women's job, not mine. And "No" girls are okay in my book. They didn't waste my time.

[Jagnum]

(09-18-2016 08:19 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(09-17-2016 03:42 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  

A better closing in the approach

Closing in the approach with statements like:

"We should hang out some time, and hopefully just grab a drink."

"We should grab coffee. I'm free later in the week, if that works for you."

"There's this art event I know about downtown. They open up private galleries to the public, and you can see great art. We should go sometime."

Using the "we should" statements again give her an option, an out, for her to indicate that she'd like to meet up with you again, or that she'd rather not.

I understand the idea, but for my part I'm not a fan of this tactic. It comes off as so ambivalent, wishy-washy, and well, kinda "beta." Girls are hip to it too, because I've seen some of the texts they get and fucking all guys do this. "Wanna maybe get a coffee sometime?" "Maybe we should hopefully grab a drink possibly sometime if you can find the time for me? Maybe Saturday, if you're not getting fucked that day? Sunday? Pretty please?"

Yuck. "Man up" and just ask her out, motherfuckers.

"I'm going to be at bar XXX on Saturday. If you're free too, come grab a drink with me."

Totally. Agree with what you said.

With texting, there's a world of difference between texting her:

"Maybe we should hopefully grab a drink possibly sometime if you can find the time for me?"

And the chill, but straightforward text:

"We should grab a drink sometime. How's Thursday?"

What I wrote was about A better closing in the approach. In the approach, the idea I'm getting at is investment.

Mentioning a specific future hang-out idea in the approach, as to gauge her interest and getting her to invest. So the XPQ approach might end like:

"By the way. Ever heard of this bar?"

"It's a cool spot. They make the best cocktails. I'm going on Saturday, if you're free too you should come with me."

"Cool. Put your number in here."

"I'll hit you up over text. Take care."

Totally agree with you dude.

(09-17-2016 03:53 PM)smashley Wrote:  

In the past I've tried either re engaging, doing nothing, or waiting and restarting later. Those have not successful.

...

What I'm wondering if you guys have ever had a lizard come through and accept or see you after the let you know response.

That's my question.

I haven't.

Once again, don't respond to her "I'll let you know" text. Then, restart her two days later one last time. The odds are good you won't see her. That's why your other methods of re-engaging, restarting, doing nothing...none of them are working for you.

It's not the method. It's that she's not interested and you're thinking you can magically change her mind with "the perfect text."

A bad text can sink a mediocre approach, but a great text can't save a bad approach.

Get her to invest, and increase your odds of seeing her again, by suggesting a meet-up in the approach, before you collect the number.

If you want to know what to do again with this girl, the advice is don't respond to her "I'll let you know" text. Then restart her two days later, in the event she got busy, but would still like to see you.

[redbeard]

Whatever you do, don't be afraid to re-engage.

If a girl is being sketchy and giving you "I'll let you know when I'm free," "maybe next week," or "I'm busy," and you're sure you aren't making a date....put her on the back burner. She was interested enough to talk to you and give you her number, but might not be sexually available at that time. Set a reminder in your phone to call her in 3 weeks and move on.

Too many guys get caught up on "nexting bitches" here.

[GreyFFM]

tentative interest is tentative interest.

there are two opportunities here. First, why was interest only tentative in the first place. and second, how to convert tentative interest.

The chance of this upgrading to significant interest by doing nothing is low, and even if it did your frame would be poor. You are on the compromise, second-best list. So do something. Communicate. Try something along the lines of push-pull, and insert some dread. Respond to her I'll-let-you-know with a I-have-to-cancel-because-I-have-a-better-opportunity. Communicating the latter to create dread is an art, less is more.

the longer term opportunity is to improve how you ask for the date. Compare, would you like to hang out some time? with I'm going to see this really cool band Tuesday, you should come with me. A lot of people go with the former because they think it has more chance of being accepted since the timing is more flexible. But paradoxically the latter is better because it spikes interest and urgency. The lack of interest and urgency, and perhaps other factors, is why you were on the maybe list to begin with.

[smashley]

Ha. I got the I'll let you know on a next day offer when i originated this post. (I asked her out for the next day because it was the only day free i had for a long while.) So i think she was just being legit about her work.

Well I called the bitch today and we just met up. So the re-engage worked just fine. Ill think in the future i'll give it a 2 shot. If not...pass.

so don't let the i'll let you know girls go completely, just give them one more shot. I will be trying with the withdraw offer (when she says let you know just say maybe another time right off the bat) though in the future. I will let you know how it goes for the later reengage. My plan with this is it jut let's her know you don't deal with wish washiness, and it also preps her that your time is important and you don't accept tentative offers. When you reengage hopefully she knows better next time.

[Latan]

To me, a girl not willing to meet is a time waster.
If I get a "I'll let you know", I just delete the number without answering and chase an other girl.

Did I lose some bangs doing that? I guess so.
I just value my time too much to entertain a girl on the phone.

One time in my whole life did the girl send an other text with the clear goal to meet.
We met, a 5 at best, no attraction from my part, I shortened the meetup.