[xmlenigma]

http://thefinancialdiet.com/confessions-...boyfriend/

Reality hits, but looks like it hasnt sunk in yet..

[The Beast1]

Bud you really should post summaries of the article so we don't need to click through.

It isn't hard to snag a man even for a woman in her 30s. Legit this is how my wife keeps me around:

1. Cooks
2. cleans
3. Works on her image (works out/ wears nice clothes)
4. wants to stay home
5. wants a large family
6. Is intellectually interesting
7. Understands captain first mate dynamic.

She could find a lonely man in his 40s, 50s, etc and keep him following that script. Men leave women who fail at wifely duties, like her live in boyfriend. She had an opportunity to snag him and get him to stick around.

Women end up as spinsters of their own volition. She has no one to blame but herself.

[Suits]

(09-08-2016 04:12 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

It isn't hard to snag a man even for a woman in her 30s. Legit this is how my wife keeps me around:

1. Cooks
2. cleans
3. Works on her image (works out/ wears nice clothes)
4. wants to stay home
5. wants a large family
6. Is intellectually interesting
7. Understands captain first mate dynamic.

Number three is very important. It does a man little good if he is married to a woman who cleans, cooks and care for children if she is sexually repulsive.

What methods have you been able to successfully implement to contribute to having a wife who keeps herself in excellent shape?

Just for clarity sake, how old is she, how long have you been married and how good of shape has she been able to maintain during that time?

[ivansirko]

Quote:

And then, when things couldn’t get worse, they did: the family I was babysitting for regularly moved, and the restaurant I was serving for let me go because I had missed a few shifts for job interviews. I was now nearly 30, unemployed, single, and considering taking a lighter to my two prestigious degrees because they were now taunting me. I had gone my whole life being the one who did everything well, to being the one that people worry about and gossip about at Christmas because I can’t seem to do anything right. Now, I’m considering moving back in with my parents and going for yet another degree, or at least living somewhere for free while I apply like crazy to every job I can find in the United States that somewhat fits my ideals.

Dont have a job, get another degree.

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

Dad was a successful medical executive who provided upper middle class life for SAHM and five kids, including elite colleges for all kids. Mom was loving, attentive home maker who gave her kids a happy, successful upbringing.

Only problem is, this daughter wants to be like dad, instead of being like mom.

[The Beast1]

(09-08-2016 06:26 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(09-08-2016 04:12 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

It isn't hard to snag a man even for a woman in her 30s. Legit this is how my wife keeps me around:

1. Cooks
2. cleans
3. Works on her image (works out/ wears nice clothes)
4. wants to stay home
5. wants a large family
6. Is intellectually interesting
7. Understands captain first mate dynamic.

Number three is very important. It does a man little good if he is married to a woman who cleans, cooks and care for children if she is sexually repulsive.

What methods have you been able to successfully implement to contribute to having a wife who keeps herself in excellent shape?

Just for clarity sake, how old is she, how long have you been married and how good of shape has she been able to maintain during that time?

Wall of text, be ready:

We're both in our late 20s.
My lady was over weight when we met. She admitted to me that she had a huge crush on me to which i replied, "I don't date fat women" .

It broke her heart. The next day she said to me she got a membership at my gym and wanted me to start lifting weights with me.

I taught her proper form on all of the big lifts and she started seeing a noticeable improvement in her mood. I helped clean up her diet too. She lost about 50 lbs.

She's now doing p90x since she works from home minus the diet. My wife isn't a stunner and she's gone from overweight to curvy, but i like curvy women so that's fine with me.

Part of her "drive" towards physical fitness is mood. She used to be depressed and woe is me. Me telling her i don't date fat girls was her wake up call to start taking diet and physical exercise seriously.

I don't want to make it seem like i have the answers, i've only been married for six months. However, in comparison to other women they don't hold a candle to her. I want a good home maker and mother of my children. That's what i found.

My advice is to be playful and tease your girl's insecurities. If she has a bit of fat around her waist grab it and jiggle it (playfully). Tease women on their insecurities the same way a young child would tease girls. Don't be mean about it, your trying to make them self conscious. Then offer them a solution to their insecurity and help them achieve it.

Lazy women will balk at this. The ones that want to change are the keepers. You almost have to break them down and rebuild them.

It keeps them in a constant state of insecurity which will encourage them to work towards something (like losing weight). With proper guidance from her man (you) they'll fall in love.

My other bit of advice is to find a woman that isn't interested in social media, drinking, and nightlife. My lady doesn't enjoy bars or staying up late. She also has a small social media presence.

I don't expect my marriage to be easy or a cakewalk. Both of our parents had different issues (mine divorced, hers got sick of each other but ultimately worked out their differences and are happy). I'm confident between our church community and our own self improvement goals both physically and mentally that we'll be able to overcome the difficulties.

I get urges to slay new women, that's natural. The thing that keeps me around are all of the gifts she provides to the relationship as well as the things we've agreed on like letting me name the children after my own family's name. She also reads this forum and surprisingly has some red pill wisdom she drops that startles me!

We're old school in how we deal with things. There's no point in reinventing the wheel.

The best story i have of her is this: an unmarried woman we knew asked her what it would take to get her boyfriend to propose to her. She asked her, do you work out, cook, eat well, look to your husband as your guide, and plan on doing this for the rest of your life?

She answered sort of to which my wife replied, "There's your problem. I sort of wouldn't marry you either."

[aSimpNamedBrokeback]

At the beginning I sort of felt sorry for her, but as she progresses, you realize she a book smart person who can't connect the dots in real life.

Quote:

And then, when things couldn’t get worse, they did: the family I was babysitting for regularly moved, and the restaurant I was serving for let me go because I had missed a few shifts for job interviews. I was now nearly 30, unemployed

So now she's unemployed in a major city because the family she baby sits for moved and a restaurant let her go? That's sounds like some "epic loser" type shit. She has zero hustle and couldn't figure out how to win a card game. This is probably why her family cut her off and her boyfriend bounced.

Quote:

I have spent my 20s holding myself up to a standard I couldn’t reach, and at the very least, it’s taught me to spend my 30s taking things as they come.

Great, so after all this she's decided shes going to spend the next 10 years doing what she did the last 10 years.
Also I'm willing t bet she's not attractive. Her looks didn't allow her to glide through real life, like she was able to glide through school. Zero hustle along with zero looks, no degree in the world is going to fix that.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Her whole spiel is just a big lump of blah blah blah.

Summary: "I behaved nicely and followed all the rules yet the world didn't reward me with a cushy, glamorous, high paying job. It's juts not proper!"

Reality: This is a perfect example of a beta female. Intelligent but not pretty or aggressive enough to make ripples in the real world.

Epitaph: Caroline existed and later died. The end.

p.s. We should start a new thread about The Beast1's wife. She's already half way to high jacking this one.

[Germanicus]

Quote:

And then, when things couldn’t get worse, they did: the family I was babysitting for regularly moved, and the restaurant I was serving for let me go because I had missed a few shifts for job interviews.

Right. That's why they let her go. Not her princess-like behavior that made her believe she could just take an afternoon off to go to job interviews for other workplaces whenever she pleased.

Quote:

I was now nearly 30, unemployed, single, and considering taking a lighter to my two prestigious degrees because they were now taunting me. I had gone my whole life being the one who did everything well, to being the one that people worry about and gossip about at Christmas because I can’t seem to do anything right.

That last sentence is the most important part. What really makes her uncomfortable with her situation is how other people in her social set no longer talk about her in that way.

Quote:

Now, I’m considering moving back in with my parents and going for yet another degree, or at least living somewhere for free while I apply like crazy to every job I can find in the United States that somewhat fits my ideals.

Every job that fits her ideals... Well, little snowflake here likely has visions of some nice paper shuffling office gig that gets her very high five or low six figures in a suitable locale such as NYC or Boston like the characters on her favorite shows.

Dumb bitch.

[C-Note]

She's trying to rationalize poor decision-making and poor work performance.

1. Employers select a certain percentage of their interns for paid positions after each internship cycle. The fact that she wasn't picked-up means that her job performance as an intern wasn't good enough.

2. Living in DC she could have applied for and gotten an entry-level government position. With all the baby-boomers retiring, tons of federal jobs in the DC area are being opened for public applications. The starting pay wouldn't have been great, but it would have gotten her going.

3. She doesn't say if she took the foreign service examination or not. Since she doesn't say, I'm assuming she took it and didn't pass. Still, she could have probably gotten a paid internship or entry-level job with the State Dept and worked that for a few years and kept taking the exam.

4. She could have done a tour in the Peace Corps, where she could have used her Spanish and then gotten preferential hiring for a federal job. Living and working in DC, she should have known about this option, but didn't take it. Bad decision.

5. She's "unwilling" to try teaching. She'd rather wait tables. Seriously? She's been coddled way too much, obviously. If she was facing starvation, she'd teach teenagers and like it.

6. I don't know how attractive she is, but she could have tried marrying a potential mover-and-shaker in the DC diplomatic scene and ridden his coattails. Hillary Clinton and many other women have done it.

The comments to the article contain some great insights and suggestions for her. I hope she takes them, because she obviously hasn't taken anyone else's advice so far.

[Sandstorm]

Yeah, get a job as a trashman bitch - don't see queues of women holding up placards outside universities complaining that garbage collection is unfairly represented by too few women - no, just the sciences and other subjects that girls are too dumb/lazy to even do anyway for the most part.

Babysitting - easy

Waitress - pretty damn easy

Trash collection - hot, smelly, sweaty, exhausting, grim, dangerous, depressing.

Do that bitch!

[The Black Knight]

This is the type of chick every man should avoid banging; even for a ONS.

30+, unemployed, entitled, and has no idea what to do in life.

Chicks like this are SUPER ripe for an "accident" baby. It gives them money and a sense of purpose all of a sudden. Bang the right guy in the right state with uncapped child support and it's two decades of well paid mommy duty by the guy and the government.

[philosophical_recovery]

(09-08-2016 08:26 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:  

This is the type of chick every man should avoid banging; even for a ONS.

30+, unemployed, entitled, and has no idea what to do in life.

Chicks like this are SUPER ripe for an "accident" baby. It gives them money and a sense of purpose all of a sudden. Bang the right guy in the right state with uncapped child support and it's two decades of well paid mommy duty by the guy and the government.

Yup.

And double the chance of autism for a 25yr old tart.



So why not stick to younger, fresher pastures pussies, unless you want to supply 4chan with more investigators.

[scrambled]

"I then went on to do a Master’s in International Relations at that same school almost directly out of undergrad, which I assumed would lead me directly into a dream job in Washington, DC."

[Brother Abdul Majeed]

Quote:

Cue the second breakdown, where I realized that I had done everything right and still found myself just like I had in DC: good enough to get by, not special or talented or brilliant enough to really make a mark in the fields I wanted to be in.

And this is why the majority North American women are not worth your time and energy. They cannot learn from life lessons. When their own life experience is telling them something, instead of listening they will stubbornly return to the playbook that other women have written for them, insist that they are doing noting wrong, and live their lives in bitterness and confusion wondering why the universe hasn't revolved around them to meet their needs. It is simply too much for them to admit that their new age secular religion is an empty set of values.

[Menace]

On of the top comments in the article basically pointed out to the author that she was not as smart or good as she thought she was. She actually isn't competitive at all, which is why she struggled to find anything in DC.

She "thought" she did everything right, but in fact she didn't. She did it all (or mostly) wrong.

Sidenote: one of the reasons DC sucks ™ is that it has lots of girls like this.

[C-Note]

Her line, "not special or talented or brilliant enough to really make a mark in the fields I wanted to be in" is Office Space-speak for "I wasn't sufficiently competitive to make it" so she does appear to realize that she didn't go about it correctly. There's probably a big reason her parents cut her off; likely they noticed that she was being lazy or was partying too much or simply refusing to take their advice.

Notice that later in the article she admits one reason she didn't want to try teaching is that she doesn't like to get up early in the morning. That may be a hint that she likes to stay up late partying, being a foodie, or screwing around until late at night on social media.

[Sumanguru]

(09-08-2016 07:12 AM)aSimpNamedBrokeback Wrote:  

So now she's unemployed in a major city because the family she baby sits for moved and a restaurant let her go? That's sounds like some "epic loser" type shit. She has zero hustle and couldn't figure out how to win a card game.

This is a great point.

Think about if a dude wrote this article.

"I did some lawn work for a few families, and worked as a waiter, but became unemployed when the families moved and the restaurant let me go."

If we read that from a dude, we would think, "Damn, he's a 30 year old, not in school, who does random house chores and waits tables as his primary job. What a loser." No guy would ever put that in an article about himself, he'd be too embarrassed, unless it was a down-on-his-luck kind of story and he later turned things around and made millions. But because she has a vagina she can tell the entire world that, without shame, and expect *sympathy*.

We really have no standards or expectations for women.

[kaotic]

Everything about her screams "BUT I'M A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE" "NO I DON'T WANT THAT JOB OR THIS JOB"

She's picky as fuck in a scenario where beggars can't be choosers.

You wasted your time getting 2 majors and a masters, and wasted time at internships that weren't worth anything.

Economics and Spanish are great choices for a degree, did I mention she lives in Cali Fucking Fornia ?

Fuck even going to DC and international relations - all the Econ/Spanish jobs are here in California.

Companies want bi-lingual speakers especially Spanish here.

But no, young wild and free in DC.

Your boyfriend left you for good reason - your parents began to realize you aren't doing shit - even you realize you finally fucked up.

NO, you sleep in the bed you made.


As Jariel would say - Loser Female.

[redpillage]

"we got a fat little cat who quickly became the love of my life"

There's your problem right there... isn't her boyfriend supposed to fill that role? Besides, he probably wanted a dog but the little princess probably forced things her way.

Finally, she keeps considering herself as the 'star of the family' despite the fact that her brother became the star lawyer.

The hamster hole goes deep on that one...

[Latinopan]

There is a lot I want to breakdown about this but I want to focus on one thing.

The tendency and dependency of millennials wanting to live in big cities, for many millennials mostly women unless you live in a big famous city, NYC, LA, DC, they consider themselves a failure, you see many people in college only applying for jobs specifically in these places, you could give them a good job in Georgia, Kansas, North Dakota, but not damn, they want big famous city.

This also is the hypergamy in action, big famous cities trigger women tingle, big famous cities, lots of high status men, she could live in a more affordable place but she wanted to live in DC, one of the most expensive place to live in USA and the world.

Many women her age do not understands big cities are not for everybody, which is why you see many girls turn to being hooker in big cities in order to afford to stay living in in them, if she was not raised in big city she is going get a fever of big city, she is going to be depended on wanting to live and stay in them.

[StrikeBack]

(09-08-2016 06:26 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Number three is very important. It does a man little good if he is married to a woman who cleans, cooks and care for children if she is sexually repulsive.

What methods have you been able to successfully implement to contribute to having a wife who keeps herself in excellent shape?

Just for clarity sake, how old is she, how long have you been married and how good of shape has she been able to maintain during that time?

Just to add another anecdotal response:

I directly gave my fiancee a list of prioritised wifely duties. It goes like this:

1. Be my retreat (happy mood when I'm home)
2. Be sexy to please me
3. Cook
4. Clean
5. Make/fix my clothes
etc.

What I do to ensure she keeps #2 up, in no particular order:

1. Teaching her how to cook healthy foods (I later outsourced this teaching to my mother)
2. Teaching her how to exercise (I have coaching experience)
3. Fat shame from the first day I met her, she actually fat-shames way harsher than I do
4. Teaching her how to dance (I used to be a dance teacher, also gave her DVDs and other resources to learn)
5. Banging her every day and teaching her what I like
6. She's aware that I get lots of attention from women, and I tell her that I choose her over all of them because she follows her role and performs her wifely duties well.
7. Shame women who blue-ball their men

I also made it clear to her that even after we have children, we put each other as priority #1, and children #2. Focusing on children as #1 is a failed model that can be easily observed around us. Our dynamics are: man=leader of the family, woman=his helper.

About her: she's in her early-mid 20s, hour-glass shape, went from almost BMI 21 to low BMI 19 after knowing me. Her mother still models clothes (just body, no face) in her late 40s. Her aunties and late grandmother are/were all in good shape even at older age.

[Leonard D Neubache]

As an aside, did anyone else get the impression that for an employer, asking an intern to babysit your kids is a shit-test that she utterly failed?

If I were an employer and I had ten interns in front of me (and I needed a babysitter), I would absolutely ask for a show of hands for anyone willing to look after my kids for the night. That would be a fantastic way to weed out at least one unprofessional, low energy kiss-ass from the pack and get some free/cheap labour at the same time.

The correct response should be "I'm honoured that you would trust with with your kids but I'm not a babysitter, I'm an (x), sir."

This slacker seems to think that the job market is like university.

"I just enrol, right?"

[Suits]

Quote:

Growing up with my three sisters and one brother, I was always the one who did everything perfectly.

These types of people (girls who do everything perfectly) always annoyed the hell out of me because it was always clear to me that they excelled at "the system," but other than being naturals at school and having the social skills to be clearly preferred among the teachers, I wasn't sure what they had on me.

Still, they appeared to have a relevant existence at a time what I felt more or less non-existent (primary school and high school).

Quote:

...when my little sister came along, I felt like I had my very own baby doll to take around with me.

She should have taken a page from her mother's playbook, skipped doing two degrees "at a prestigious California state university" and just become a housewife.

Quote:

[I had] excellent grades, good at sports and theatre alike, offered scholarships to three different colleges. Even my star brother who is now a lawyer with degrees from two different Ivy League schools was envious of me growing up, because I also managed to be a more well-rounded person, whereas he had to truly obsess over his work to succeed academically.

Something tells me that her brother is actually successful now and doesn't feel jealous of her at all.

Quote:

I was the “special one” who got to do both: a backpack tour of Spain with my Spanish-immersion class, as well as two summers at a prestigious East Coast theatre camp.

Quote:

I took my scholarship to a prestigious California state school, where I double majored in Economics and Spanish. I then went on to do a Master’s in International Relations at that same school almost directly out of undergrad, which I assumed would lead me directly into a dream job in Washington, DC.

Quote:

I spent the next two years out of my Master’s doing unpaid internship after unpaid internship.

Quote:

Mostly, I paid my rent in a very crappy room on the outskirts of the city via babysitting, and most of the people I babysat for were my bosses at these various “prestigious” internships. It was a vicious cycle of feeling like I was getting ahead via getting to know these bosses in a more intimate way, but ultimately being taken less seriously because they just saw me as the nice 20-something who helped out at the house more so than a rising star at whatever company it happened to be.

Because you have no special abilities or talents that would make you a rising star.

Newsflash! Being good at school doesn't mean that you have anything special to offer in the work place. School is all about following instructions and doing what you are told.

It doesn't teach you how to innovate and do things that others cannot.

If you cannot do things that others cannot, you are a dime-a-dozen and will earn an income appropriate to your lack of ability.

Quote:

I had a minor breakdown at 26 when my parents dropped the “we’re cutting you off” bomb, and it became apparent that my weak leads at these different jobs were not going to manifest into an actual job.

Her parents did her a favour.

Quote:

Cut to my 28th birthday, when pretty much everything was in flames: the startup that had taken a chance on me had gone out of business, my boyfriend had left me for a colleague at Amazon, I moved out of my apartment into a shitty roommate situation, and I had to leave the cat I so loved with my ex and his new girlfriend (kill me) because the apartments I was finding in my price range and desired location wouldn’t take pets. Cue the second breakdown, where I realized that I had done everything right and still found myself just like I had in DC: good enough to get by, not special or talented or brilliant enough to really make a mark in the fields I wanted to be in.

Rapidly decreasing sexual marketplace value is a bitch.

Quote:

Now, I’m considering moving back in with my parents and going for yet another degree, or at least living somewhere for free while I apply like crazy to every job I can find in the United States that somewhat fits my ideals.

You are so fucking stupid.


I, like the writing of this "piece," graduated university with a useless degree from a school that claims to be prestigious (it isn't) and walked into a job market where I was barely qualified to shovel snow for a living.

Instead of deciding to live with my parents for the next two years of life, accepting unpaid internships or doing babysitting for a living, I moved back to China (where I'd built competitive skills while taking breaks from my undergraduate study) and worked my way up to earning $60K USD per year through commitment, sacrifice, finding work for which there is a discernable demand and doing what suited my natural talents, rather than strictly pursuing a career that fit my ideals and played to my ego.

Now that I have a meaningful revenue stream, I've reduced my income down to a minimal level and am working hard to build a company that allows me to do my dream job.

Moral of the story: you can't expect everything you want to be handed to you in life.

If you want something special, be prepared to earn it and potentially fail in the process.

[Tytalus]

(09-08-2016 09:31 PM)StrikeBack Wrote:  

(09-08-2016 06:26 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Number three is very important. It does a man little good if he is married to a woman who cleans, cooks and care for children if she is sexually repulsive.

What methods have you been able to successfully implement to contribute to having a wife who keeps herself in excellent shape?

Just for clarity sake, how old is she, how long have you been married and how good of shape has she been able to maintain during that time?

Just to add another anecdotal response:

I directly gave my fiancee a list of prioritised wifely duties. It goes like this:

1. Be my retreat (happy mood when I'm home)
2. Be sexy to please me
3. Cook
4. Clean
5. Make/fix my clothes
etc.

What I do to ensure she keeps #2 up, in no particular order:

1. Teaching her how to cook healthy foods (I later outsourced this teaching to my mother)
2. Teaching her how to exercise (I have coaching experience)
3. Fat shame from the first day I met her, she actually fat-shames way harsher than I do
4. Teaching her how to dance (I used to be a dance teacher, also gave her DVDs and other resources to learn)
5. Banging her every day and teaching her what I like
6. She's aware that I get lots of attention from women, and I tell her that I choose her over all of them because she follows her role and performs her wifely duties well.
7. Shame women who blue-ball their men

I also made it clear to her that even after we have children, we put each other as priority #1, and children #2. Focusing on children as #1 is a failed model that can be easily observed around us. Our dynamics are: man=leader of the family, woman=his helper.

About her: she's in her early-mid 20s, hour-glass shape, went from almost BMI 21 to low BMI 19 after knowing me. Her mother still models clothes (just body, no face) in her late 40s. Her aunties and late grandmother are/were all in good shape even at older age.

You haven't had kids yet, which throws a lot of new tests at you, and you can find out "what you really believe" about some pretty fundamental beliefs. That said - make sure your show strong leadership, but can be flexible and not just difficult either. Other point - make sure you're on top of fixing your house and not leaving the little projects going missed for too long. Fix things in your place proactively.