[silencegamer]

I am going to college next week in the uk which is ages of 16-18, my situation is that I have overcome approach anxiety however my communication skills are awful as I can not hold a conversation, last time I tried it got awkward as I was getting one word responses and the conversation didn't go anywhere.I am confused how I can game all the chicks if I cannot communicate I've got less than a week , I need a solution to help me sort out this issue so I can become interesting to the girls and escalate. Also I have an issue as I have a mate who comes across needy to the girls, I've tried to tell him but he just does not listen as he always thinks he's correct. How will he affect my game?

[Screemingdead]

Approach solo then. Needy friends are anti-pussy

[King of Monkeys]

First things first, you'll need to focus on being able to talk to people. When you first jump into picking up girl, it's a lot like learning any new kind of skill. There are many facets of the skill that need to be developed, and there's almost too much information and it's hard to choose one thing. For now, I think you'd benefit more from learning to carry a conversation rather than dealing with approach anxiety, reading body language, seducing a girl, etc. any given time you interact with a girl. When you get the basics of a conversation down, it'll take off more pressure when you start developing in another area.

Where are you starting from socially? For me, I didn't talk to anyone throughout middle school and high school. No conversations, and I couldn't even make eye contact with anyone. I was at square one when I first began talking again to the point where I might as well have been socially retarded. However, I kept at it, and I've improved quite a bit since then. Depending on where you're at, you can probably progress even faster especially in socially abundant environment like college.

Keep in mind, you can have an amazing conversation with one person, and then the next one you talk to there's nothing there. No matter what you say or what they talk about, the conversation goes stagnant and dies. This goes for men and women alike. Sometimes you can strike a moment where this changes and you two make a connection if you stick it out long enough or hit the right flow when talking. You can make things easier on yourself by finding people who want to talk and learn from them by the how they talk and what they talk about.

Luckily, you're just starting college so you'll be with plenty of nervous and confused freshman. The gist of most conversations on the first week or so will be about what you're majoring, what classes you got, and so on.

If I keep typing I'll end up with a wall of text, so I'll stop here. Feel free to ask me any questions if you're wondering about something in particular.

[britchard]

(09-02-2016 11:18 AM)silencegamer Wrote:  

I am going to college next week in the uk which is ages of 16-18, my situation is that I have overcome approach anxiety however my communication skills are awful as I can not hold a conversation, last time I tried it got awkward as I was getting one word responses and the conversation didn't go anywhere.I am confused how I can game all the chicks if I cannot communicate I've got less than a week , I need a solution to help me sort out this issue so I can become interesting to the girls and escalate. Also I have an issue as I have a mate who comes across needy to the girls, I've tried to tell him but he just does not listen as he always thinks he's correct. How will he affect my game?

(09-03-2016 01:07 AM)King of Monkeys Wrote:  

First things first, you'll need to focus on being able to talk to people. When you first jump into picking up girl, it's a lot like learning any new kind of skill. There are many facets of the skill that need to be developed, and there's almost too much information and it's hard to choose one thing. For now, I think you'd benefit more from learning to carry a conversation rather than dealing with approach anxiety, reading body language, seducing a girl, etc. any given time you interact with a girl. When you get the basics of a conversation down, it'll take off more pressure when you start developing in another area.

Where are you starting from socially? For me, I didn't talk to anyone throughout middle school and high school. No conversations, and I couldn't even make eye contact with anyone. I was at square one when I first began talking again to the point where I might as well have been socially retarded. However, I kept at it, and I've improved quite a bit since then. Depending on where you're at, you can probably progress even faster especially in socially abundant environment like college.

Keep in mind, you can have an amazing conversation with one person, and then the next one you talk to there's nothing there. No matter what you say or what they talk about, the conversation goes stagnant and dies. This goes for men and women alike. Sometimes you can strike a moment where this changes and you two make a connection if you stick it out long enough or hit the right flow when talking. You can make things easier on yourself by finding people who want to talk and learn from them by the how they talk and what they talk about.

Luckily, you're just starting college so you'll be with plenty of nervous and confused freshman. The gist of most conversations on the first week or so will be about what you're majoring, what classes you got, and so on.

If I keep typing I'll end up with a wall of text, so I'll stop here. Feel free to ask me any questions if you're wondering about something in particular.

College in the UK has a completely different meaning to college in the US. The easiest way to describe it is to think of a US community college, but for 16-18 year olds and all from the local area. There will be a mix of people doing vocational courses like childcare, and academic subjects like maths or chemistry. Generally, there will be a much wider range of academic ability at a college than at a sixth form, which is usually attached to a secondary school. At a sixth form, almost everyone does A-levels (the highest school leaving qualification).

OP, it's hard to give you advice as I never went to a college so I don't completely know what the atmosphere is like. But at least at a college there is a lot of mixing and it is quite fast-paced, whereas at a sixth form if you try to game every girl you speak to, you will get the 'that guy' tag very quickly.

I would aim to speak to girls who look like they might be a bit lonely as they don't know anyone. Everyone, male and female, wants to be spoken to and made to feel comfortable. They will really appreciate that you are talking to them, as it makes them not look like a loner. So although you will be nervous yourself, just put on an act that you are a confident guy, and just speak to them.

[silencegamer]

Thanks for letting me know. One thing I want to ask how do you strike up a convo , I find it really hard to go indirect because I tried a lot of day game just to kill my approach anxiety.

[SirTimothy]

(09-04-2016 06:52 AM)silencegamer Wrote:  

Thanks for letting me know. One thing I want to ask how do you strike up a convo , I find it really hard to go indirect because I tried a lot of day game just to kill my approach anxiety.

Use things that are relevant to the situation. For example if she's sitting down reading a book, ask her about it, maybe talk about about other books, classes, ect., then branch out into other things.

Also, about getting one-word responses, don't ask too many yes/no questions. Ask questions that let her explain a little bit, then you can build the conversation on that. Conversely, it's also good to casually mention interesting things about yourself, but be vague enough that she can ask you more, too.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Other than the obvious advice (work on social skills, talk to many people throughout your day to build said social skills) I would highly recommend learning to compartmentalize the people in your life. If your wingman is awkward as shit DO NOT continue to go out with him. Find a better use for him. Find a more reliable wingman who doesn't get needy, it shouldn't be that hard. You're coming up on the point in your life where socializing will become easier, starting Uni and all that. Make good use of this time.