4 year old (travel) virgin
08-04-2011, 06:38 PM
Quote: (08-03-2011 08:36 PM)prproc Wrote:
Well come to think of it I can fake confidence. I jst expect a girl to give me the brush off. I'm verbaly slick and perhaps too soft and nice
Hmm... are you kind of person yourself who brushes off unwanted approaches? For example, when a telemarketer calls you, do you:
1. Listen to them and excuse yourself politely when appropriate ("Sorry, I'm not interested; could you please remove me from your list?");
2. Just hangup on them;
3. Interrupt their speech, tell them to fuck off and die/you wish their mom didn't have sex with a dog nine months before they were born/whatever insult, and hangup (or even stay on the line)?
If you're type 2 or 3 person like I am, I can share some good news for you. We're a very small minority. The majority of people around are not such anti-social jerks, so even if they don't want to talk to you, this is usually done in a polite, and socially acceptable way. However this is something you have to learn from personal experience, I know it is very hard to accept someone's word for that.
Another problem may be that you're thinking too much before approaching, and your logical brain "talks you out" from the approach. Do you follow the three-second rule? Google it if you don't know it.
A problem with fake confidence may be that your body language is not congruent with your overall behavior. If you approach and consistently get shit tested for confidence, this is a possibility that your body language betrays you. Ask your friend to video record your approaches (on a cell phone, for example) and analyze them later. Or get some coaching.