[Jazzman92]

Hey guys,

I've been using tinder/bumble over the last couple weeks and I've gotten 12 numbers. I feel that a few of these girls are really interested, and I'm interested in them as well. The problem is I'm very busy at the moment and I cant meet them for the next couple months or so. Normally I would just try and get a date that week or the next but because I am unable to see them for quite some time I was wondering what the best way to slow play it would be. Should I just wait longer before responding to them, ignore and re-engage conversation once I have the time, go the for the snapchat add etc. The majority of them I will not bother with, but a few are quite attractive and are interested as well so I do not want to lose the bang.

At the end of the day I'm completely fine with them losing interest as well. Just wondering if there are any strategies I could implement to sustain interest until I have the time to go out with them.

[Rhyme or Reason]

What's keeping you from setting up a quick date and escalating? If it's distance, forget about it.

[Jazzman92]

(07-22-2016 05:10 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

What's keeping you from setting up a quick date and escalating? If it's distance, forget about it.

Not distance, just choice. I have a couple of crucial interviews coming up, as well as a test I'm studying for. Also there are some things which I want to improve before I go on a date. My text game is significantly better than my IRL game so I want to read bang and be ready when I go for these dates. The biggest issue is probably fitness. I want to lose 35 pounds before I see any of them.

[Rhyme or Reason]

(07-22-2016 05:29 PM)Jazzman92 Wrote:  

(07-22-2016 05:10 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

What's keeping you from setting up a quick date and escalating? If it's distance, forget about it.

Not distance, just choice. I have a couple of crucial interviews coming up, as well as a test I'm studying for. Also there are some things which I want to improve before I go on a date. My text game is significantly better than my IRL game so I want to read bang and be ready when I go for these dates. The biggest issue is probably fitness. I want to lose 35 pounds before I see any of them.

If you're not confident in your game, then that's the issue. Go cold approach. It sounds to me like you're making excuses for putting this off. You have also already pedastalized these girls that you haven't met yet thinking you're going to need a litany of improvements before you go out with them specifically.

I don't get it, if you think you're not up to snuff, or you need to lose weight, or do this, or do that...then why frame the question around how and when you're going to meet these girls? You can't fuck them through a smartphone app. It's an issue of confidence from where I'm standing.

If self improvement is what you want to focus on, then do that. But it doesn't mean you should be trying to preserve whatever impression you think you've had on these chicks that you have never seen in the flesh. They are not invested in you at all at this point, even if you think they are. So either

-forget about them

or

-stop bullshitting yourself and set up a date.


Looking forward to hearing an update.

[XPQ22]

A long-distance girl who texts with you every day for weeks or months, one that you're certain thinks you're the hottest shit ever, one that texts you nudes 27 times, and you're sure is a sure thing, will ghost on you with absolute extreme prejudice the instant a guy she feels is a better value shows up that's more geographically or temporally available. It's happened to me several times, and I'm sure it's happened to enough other men to instate as some kind of universal law.

If you're going to try this at all, you're probably best off just re-initiating later, and hope for the best.

[Latan]

OP, wait until you have enough free time to meet women, before chasing them.
What's the point of talking to them, without the bang?
Do you think you can learn more about them, create attraction through this device, then once you meet them they're already wet of excitement?

All the work you think you do, via texting, will have to be done again, once you meet them face to face.

[Jazzman92]

(07-23-2016 04:10 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

A long-distance girl who texts with you every day for weeks or months, one that you're certain thinks you're the hottest shit ever, one that texts you nudes 27 times, and you're sure is a sure thing, will ghost on you with absolute extreme prejudice the instant a guy she feels is a better value shows up that's more geographically or temporally available. It's happened to me several times, and I'm sure it's happened to enough other men to instate as some kind of universal law.

If you're going to try this at all, you're probably best off just re-initiating later, and hope for the best.

This is what I'm going to do with all except one girl, who seems like a super easy lay.

I guess because of my lack of sexual experience I thought it would be nice to have easy notches or a possible fwb lined up when I'm ready to start meeting these girls in person, but like redpillage said, I'm putting them on a pedestal. I'm just gonna focus on self improvement for the near future.

[Navas]

I do have this issue often because I like to check out girls in cities which I consider to visit in a near future and I may accidentally match with them. Also I may match with girls shortly before leaving their city which I am hoping to visit again in a future. Therefore I'm really glad there is a thread about this subject but I would like to hear if anyone has a good advice on this.

I have had to maintain connections with girls for 3-6 months because I could not come right away to their city and also l lost many leads for that reason.

From my experience the best strategy will be as follows:

1. Take more time to reply. Girls like aloof men and it never hurts to reply once every two-three days. Sometimes before asking for her number I do not reply for a week and it's always a success.

2. Get her number or Facebook. Generally I use facebook for longer term and Whatsapp for shorter term because Whatsapp is better for chatting and videos but it is easier for her to delete you from her phonebook where you are among other orbiters than from Facebook where you are among her friends. You also have to have strong Facebook profile if you go for it.

3. Have a conversation with her in a messaging app of your choice from p.2 at least once at the time when she is replying fast (meaning she is not busy, bored and wants to talk at that moment).

4. Send her voice messages once in a while. I always send a voice message as my second message and sometimes after a period of time. It will get a girl more accustomed to you as it is the way she talks to her friends. Also it can be seductive because she can hear a man in her ear and having seen your photos she may start imagining yourself next to her.

5. Send her a video message. When the conversation has been dead for a while I like to send a video message to girls I don't want to loose. It takes them by surprise, and often they will reply with a voice message screaming in excitement. They would often compliment me in their reply to the video which they almost never do otherwise. I like to send them videos from cool places I visit showing them I am having fun but it could also be filmed in your car or your bed showing them you don't care much.

6. Explain her at some point that you want to come and you are certain that you will visit her city but cannot do that at this very moment.

7. Disappear for a while. Even for a long while if you are not coming soon. This will also let her know you have life besides her and not putting her on pedestal.

All this seems common sense but I have actually tested it on about 30 girls and I hope this will be helpful for any one with the same problem.

[Latan]

Navas, from my point of view, you're only entertaining these girls' need for attention, when you talk to them during MONTHS without meeting them.
They get what they want (attention) and you don't (sex).
Tell me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you often convert these long internet / voice mail / facebook conversations into actual bangs.

A solution?
Only chase girls in the city you're currently in.
If you know you're going to an other city, then begin a matching process, a week max prior arrival.
This way, they'll see you as a fresh product, not some friendly guy who talked to her since her last couple boyfriends.

[Navas]

Latan - thanks for your comment, it might be better indeed to look at things from your point of view.

The only way to tell if you are wrong is to tell the number of bangs from these leads. I don't have the bangs from those long plays yet but I hope I will an I'm going to keep track of them.

Anyway I feel better having 10-20 numbers when I arrive to a new city where getting numbers from online is not fast process. I don't spend as much time on girls from countries where it is fast and easy to get numbers from online.

[Rhyme or Reason]

From the OP

Quote:

I do not want to lose the bang.

Lots of new guys tense up about "losing the bang" when there's really no bang yet to be lost...

I consider losing the bang to be when I have a bitch half nekkid in my room and somehow she leaves without getting fucked.

A chick who seems vaguely interested over a smartphone app is not in "losing the bang" territory, not even close. Mistakenly thinking she is is a bad for your game since you're putting the cart ahead of the horse and already thinking of her on a pedastal.

[Dantes]

OP

It is good to read about your goals for self-improvement. I wish you good luck with your fitness and Game improvement.

Improvement doesn't have to be isolated in just one area. You can focus on your career, fitness and start meeting women in person at the same time. It is important to find balance between all of these pursuits.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[XXL]

If you can't meet up with a girl in next couple of months [say what??] then I doubt it you can keep them on the hook through facebook for that long period of time. Make time.

[Jazzman92]

Thanks for all of your guys' input. Here's an update:

I've decided to bite the bullet and just take these girls out. The first one is this cute 8/10 I'll be taking out for drinks on Saturday. This will be my first date ever, as all my notches have been SNL (only 3 so not that impressive). I'm also feeling pretty nervous because my pics are substantially better than what I look like in real life. Hopefully this goes alright.