[WestIndianArchie]

What you're always trying to do in every situation in game is make a girl react to you emotionally.

You're doing this primarily in three ways
1. What you say
2. Touching her
3. Moving her from place to place.

Day Game, Online, Night Game, Social Circle - all the same.

You talk to the chick in such a way that has emotional impact.
You touch her in a way that has impact.
You move her around the venue, around the city - and moving her, getting her to come with you - creates impact.

Q. What about?
- suits
- muscles
- money
- great logistics
- feminism

A. Not really that important in comparison to how you impact a girl.

When you affect a girl on an emotional level, the level where she lives her life, none of that extraneous shit matters.

Q. What about value?

Isn't value some calculation of my height, race, amount of hair, net income and body fat percentage? I keep getting 183, but most girls require 250.

A. No. Your only value to a girl is in how you make her feel.

Q. Define feels

A lot of newbs come into the game with only three emotions that they want to stir up in a chick

1) Lust - if I can can make her want to have sex, she'll want to have sex WITH ME.

2) Laughter - If I can make her laugh and keep her laughing, she'll want to have sex with me

3) Pain - I want to put a girl in her place. In public, I want to use verbal means. In private, I know these chicks want to be manhandled and treated roughly.

Yes to all of this, and no to all of this.

Feelings, emotions, are much broader than these three things.

Your goal as a player is to make her feel
- joy, happiness, laughter
- sadness
- anger, outrage, hatred
- awe, inspiration
- envy, jealousy
- sense of purpose, sense of direction
- lust, desire,
- ambiguity, uncertainty
- scared, frightened, startled, surprised

Et cetera. The more "feels" you can give her. The more depth of those feelings...that's how you pull a girl.

And as you get better, you realize that's how you pull a crowd.

So to recap

Game is about making the girl feel something, and making her feel a lot of things. The guy who can get her to feel more, faster, stronger is the guy that pulls the girl.

WIA

[Ezio31]

Game, is enhancing your latent skills, and then believing passionately in them.

[HonantheBarbarian]

Damn you've been on fire helping us newbs lately WIA, especially in understanding the broader picture of things.


I can say with absolute clarity that in the last 1.5 years of my development, your posts have been instrumental to my improvement. Mass recpect man.

[jbo]

I am also one of the newbs to the game who enjoy reading your insightful posts.

(06-01-2016 09:34 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Game is about making the girl feel something, and making her feel a lot of things. The guy who can get her to feel more, faster, stronger is the guy that pulls the girl.

I guess the main thing I, and possibly other beginners, struggle with is HOW to do that.

I for one would love to read through a few of your actual lines/conversations with women (just a humble wish).

[WestIndianArchie]

(06-01-2016 01:46 PM)jbo Wrote:  

I for one would love to read through a few of your actual lines/conversations with women (just a humble wish).

I do a fair amount of "on the spot" game. I cut my teeth in the clubs, I've worked my magic with social circles - and those things made me unafraid of women in regular situations.

I don't know about you, but the idea of talking to a girl in broad daylight, with other people possibly listening, used to scare the Muhammad out of me.

Even after I got decent at club game, a girl in line at the grocery store...

Grocery Story #1

So last night, I'm at my local grocery store. I'm buying some spices, some corn meal, and an apple pie.

The cashier comments on the pie. (A cute 18 year old Latina. I'm dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans that are way too baggy for someone of my age. Like a cleaned up homeless person. On site)

I'm like, "Apple pie for 2.99? Please and Thank You."

She says, "I don't really like pie...maybe just the crust"

*look her dead in the eye*

"The wedding is off. We can no longer speak to each other"

She immediately reacts to me. Because she was just making idle chit chat about groceries, and I went for the jugular.

"But I could learn to like pie..."

----------------------

If I had the time, maybe I could have milked that little exchange for a number.

But it exactly one line to wake her up out of cashier mode.

........

Grocery story #2

Last week, in line at the grocery again.

The Yuppie professional is buying Cafe Bustelo



WIA - "How is that?"
Lawyerchick - "Oh the coffee, I like it. It's cheap...but I try all sorts of things"

WIA - *sensing that this could go somewhere* - You sound like an expert...

LC - "Yah, I really like Ethiopian, it's got notes of chocolate..."

WIA - "Like wine, or whisky...lemme guess you pretend to be a wine girl, but you're actually a whisky girl"

LC - *blushes/laughs*

She wasn't really my type, so I didn't go forward with it. But I practice this sort of thing, all day.

Grocery Story #3

In front of me is this gilf. The kind of chick that takes care of her body and looks like she'd be a hellcat in the sack. Not necessarily a pretty face.

Half of her hand basket is organic tofu and stuff.
She's wearing running tights.

She's trying to get her cigarettes from the cashier.
She's also got a 6 pack of beer (nothing noteworthy) and a box of doughnuts.

I open her with, "Beer and doughnuts, breakfast of champions!"

She smiles, and then jumps in "I know it must look crazy. I was trying to speed up the line by getting my cigs ..."

WIA - "Nothing like a smoke before a run"

GILF - Haha, I know, I know.

No real sparks with this encounter, nothing that I could parlay into getting into her condo for some AARP style loving - but if I had more time, I'd keep going with it.

......................

I wouldn't call these my top notch approaches/encounters, but I don't ask a chick if she knows where I can find a plus size lingerie shop. (hmm, maybe I should ask that...)

I say stuff that
- Says "hey i'm talking to you"
- It doesn't say, "hey i'm trying to hit on you, give me your number, so I can get in your panties"

It impacts just the same. I'm not hitting the classic attraction switches (leader of men, pre-selection, resources)...I'm just going with cold reads and building on their reactions.

What happens is that even though we're talking about bs, I'm sub-communicating to her that I see her, and I'm curious.

She is telling me by responding whether or not she's interested in showing me more, whether she's interested in talking to me.

And I pick things that she can talk about, that she can glow about.

Because I want to be able to tap into that good energy/talkative part of her. Not the part of her that has to think, that has to catch things.

I know a lot of you guys are smart, intelligent, introverts, analytical, shy, and intellectuals. I am cut from the same cloth.

We, as a group, don't tend to like small talk. We like big talk. Part of the game is learning to make that small talk, the chit chat, into big talk. But not big on an analytical scale, but on an emotional one.

It's quite the challenge to talk about one thing, but purposefully sub-communicate something else. That should be enticing to guys that are INTJ and other sort of introspective personality types.

___________________________________

These are just basic examples. I do this every day, every where I go, because I started to take a general interest in people after having a focused interest in game.

WIA

[jbo]

(06-01-2016 02:26 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

I know a lot of you guys are smart, intelligent, introverts, analytical, shy, and intellectuals. I am cut from the same cloth.

Ditto, I often find myself way over-analyzing how to do every aspect of the game. I will force myself into practicing more "chit chat" with random people.

Thank you for sharing few of your encounters along with everything else.

[HonantheBarbarian]

Ok WIA, im reading the forum at work, so as all this was fresh in my head a lo and behold a cute latin girl HB6.8 walks into my work. I decided to try some shit out and fuck with her mood and break her state without thinking too hard about it. Can you critique WIA? I think i went too hard on the teasing but she was beaming as she walked out.

Quick BG
I run a shop thats in a shopping mall, she was passing out flyers for the burger place she worked at upstairs for special employee deals or some shit.

HBLatina: um Hi! Were doing a promo for blah place upstairs blah blah burgers

She puts the flyer down on my counter and starts pointing at various items

I (playfully) snatch the flyer in the middle of her speech and hold it up to my face, this causes her to have to enter my space and lean into me more. It also interrupted her script, which i can tell by her robotic nature that shes had to repeat to at least 30 people before me.

HBLatina: mall employees get 10% off by the way

Honan: *long quizzical stare* thats it??

Hb laughs

Honan: No, you should give me more. It should be free for me actually, since we practically work together

She laughs even louder, her body language opens up

HB: nooooo i cant do that!!

Honan: *glances briefly down the menu* well can i get a free hot dog at least?

HB: *laughs* noooo!

She begins to speak again and I interrupt

Honan: Whats even good here?

HB: Well the gyros are good, and the burgers..

Honan: Even the baked potato?

HB: yeah

Honan: Now i know youre bullshitting me. Its just a potato!

HB laughs even more. I can tell im starting to break her out of her routine.

Honan: alright, well whats NOT good here?

HB:..um.... Well everything is good honestly..I think-
Honan: LIES. Theres at least one thing I should not be eating here, what is it?

HB cant stop laughing and squirming around at this point

HB: well... To be honest, theres nothing really different about the hotdogs

I allow a long, pregnant pause

Honan: im telling your manager you said that

She laughed really loud at this one and made that Latina Ayyyyyyyi sound they make when you say something ridculous

And then a cockblock-er i mean customer walked in and diffused the encounter. I was just like "see ya later" and she walked out on what i felt was a good note.

Too bad I didnt close.

[Iso]

(06-01-2016 09:34 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

4
You're doing this primarily in three ways
2. Touching her

Can you elaborate more on this one?

[WestIndianArchie]

@Honan good stuff.

You've got her laughing. You have got her reacting to you.

So that's the front end of the pickup. But now that she's all giggly, you have to take it from the jokes and get into the flirting.

Right now, your ego is not at issue. Plenty of newbs get stuck in entertainer mode. It's safe and it gives them good emotions. But comedians don't get laid.

The next move in that situation is flirting aka getting sexual verbally.

Right off top, you could make fun/use any mention of hot dogs and sausage.

Or switch gears avg accuse her of using the menu to hit on you.

Or say that she needs to make up for the high prices personally.

Or, The girl at the pizza place always....

Same basic tone, different emotion, different motive.

But ask yourself, what other emotions can you invoke?

The conversation aspect is huge, but it's not about what you at say, how witty you are but the feelings that you spark.

WIA

[HonantheBarbarian]

Thanks WIA, if i had more time to run the set then i would most definitely have shifted gears into a more personal/intimate frame.

I am definitely guilty of staying in entertainer mode for too long, here and in the past. Now that I look at it, its really just pure ego defense/rejection avoidance.

[WestIndianArchie]

@Iso

- to open

You can come up on a chick from the side and elbow her with your elbow like you might elbow a buddy or a girlfriend.

You can do the hand of God, the RSD move. Extend the hand for the shake and pull her in.

Shake hands, and linger or squeeze

- for attraction/comfort

Dance floor style spin
Pick her up
Thumb wrestle
Palm read

There's a billion of things

Most guys want to fuck these chicks, but are afraid to touch. Better to get shot down now at the club, than invest a ton of time entertaining and flirting with a girl only to have some dude come in and scoop her.

WIA

[yeppels]

Great post WIA. Just to brainstorm, some ideas about how to invoke some of the emotions you mentioned:

Quote:

joy, happiness, laughter

- Tell a joke - easiest way to break the ice with someone
- Smile - positivity is contagious
- Comment on something they enjoy - like the coffee in your post - girl clearly likes her coffee - get her thinking about it

Quote:

sadness

This one I think is harder to pull off until you get deeper into a conversation with a girl. Too early and it could signal pity instead.
- Talk about a loved pet you had, and how tragic it was when it passed - make it the same pet she has
- Talk about a relative who went through a hard time and how your family rallied around them

Quote:

anger, outrage, hatred

This one could also backfire if brought up too early
- The exception being something you can team up against -
her - "I hate white wine"
you - "Only peasants drink white wine, royalty drinks red"
- Once you get deeper, you can probe and find out why she hates something - get to the root of the emotion and make it more powerful
her - "I hate blahblah"
you - "no way blahblah saved my life once"
her - "nonono..."

Quote:

awe, inspiration

This one is more about body language and storytelling
- Paint a picture of a grandiose event in her mind. Use exaggerated motions. Make her feel as if she was there
- Ask her about some goal/dream she has, and then get her to paint the picture more deeply
her: "I really want to blahblah"
you: "blahblah?! just imagine if that were true, you'd be at X place doing Y thing."

Quote:

envy, jealousy

Subtlety is key here. I'm coming up short on this one.
- She loves traveling? Tell her more stories that relate to your travels

Quote:

sense of purpose, sense of direction

Does this tie closely to awe and inspritation? How do you make her feel this without talking about yourself?

Quote:

lust, desire

- sexual puns
- body language
- touching

Quote:

ambiguity, uncertainty

Moving her around like you said does this the easiest
- I know of a cool spot nearby, let's go there
- "I'll pick you up at 8" "Where are we going?" "You'll see"

Quote:

scared, frightened, startled, surprised

Again coming up short here.
- Say things that aren't expected - "Wedding is off..."

Good thought experiment!

[XPQ22]

(06-01-2016 02:26 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

I know a lot of you guys are smart, intelligent, introverts, analytical, shy, and intellectuals. I am cut from the same cloth.

We, as a group, don't tend to like small talk. We like big talk. Part of the game is learning to make that small talk, the chit chat, into big talk. But not big on an analytical scale, but on an emotional one.

It's quite the challenge to talk about one thing, but purposefully sub-communicate something else. That should be enticing to guys that are INTJ and other sort of introspective personality types.

Any advice for a guy who is an extrovert? I've taken those MB tests before and I always come up as either "ENFP" or "ENTP".

https://www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality

My problem sometimes seems to be "overgaming", I guess. I talk too much, clown too much, and try too hard.

Often when an interaction goes south I find myself thinking "Shit, me and my big mouth again."

The interesting thing is that I seem to do pretty well with introverted INxx something something women. Many of them can't stand me, but the ones who can put up with me in the beginning often seem to end up really really liking me. There are lots of women like that on online dating sites, and I go after them pretty much exclusively.

Maybe I should write a datasheet! "Guide to banging INTJ librarian book-ladies." I definitely have the experience.

I find INTJ men to be reliable friends once we get to know each other, but I often find it difficult to relate to them. They often seem standoffish to the point of hostility, sometimes with a smugness that strikes me as covering for an underlying sensitivity and vulnerability. Big egos, get offended way too easily. Why so uptight? Life is hilarious.

[WestIndianArchie]

@XP

You don't know what you're doing. You don't understand what you're supposed to be doing.

Just like Honan, you're entertaining and not running game. It's because you do not understand what I've written here. Making a chick laugh and have a good time is what she says she wants, but not actually what she responds to.

The only difference between an introvert and extrovert in this regard is that the introvert finds that dealing with people is draining. Whereas the extrovert is charged up.

That tendency either way has fuck all to do with the girl in the moment, much less whether she falls into one of those personality types.

I repeat

This game thingy is about making her feel emotions.

You want to create
- a wide range of emotions
- depth in those emotions

So in a few minutes she laughs, she gets mad, she's offended, she's intrigued, she's turned on...And now she's mad again. Laugh out loud, belly hurts laughing. Ball her eyes out sadness, stay up all night and look at the night sky awe inspiring, yelling and screaming mad.

When you see those hot chicks with bad boys or emo artists, it's because both of those guys can make her happy and aren't afraid to make her cry. Even old women, 35+ want that rollercoaster. That's what makes her feel alive. A chick might test you, to get you mad, fight, and then makeup sex.

You're dealing her drugs. She's an addict to her "feels".

As you generate those emotions, evoke those feelings.
You want to get compliance out of her. But not like she has to do your bidding, but she is enthusiastically and proactively trying to do things to get your attention, to seek rapport.

Then your task is to get her in a place where she can do those things, both physically/location wise and desire wise.

It goes back to the feels. That's what I want guys to get from this.

When you evaluate pickup advice or pickup videos, ask yourself what kind of feelings are being generated? Do I see the girl physically react to what the player says and does.

WIA

[WestIndianArchie]

I've been doing this for a while, not even as much as I would like. Trying to get my game to the next level, I'm reading other players and finding that some of their techniques and insights are ones that I discovered on my own.

That suggests to me that this field of study is one with real merit, not just lucky guys grouped with unlucky ones.

[XXL]

Finally someone said it. Way too many times I read or watch someone going through some kind of checklist in their head which consists of: step 1 - make her laugh, step 2 - make her horny, step 3 - escalate and bang.

In reality it IS possible to do just that and get that you want. However if you want to go beyond that very basic step by step stuff and experience some jedi like shit you absolutely need to make an [emotional] impact on a girl and take advantage of that.

Besides, "impact" is very good term to use. It's practical. For example, take one of the most popular game question of all time ie "How to approach?". Answer: Make an impact aka go in hard aka make her feel you etc cause when you don't hook the attention it's because you go in too timid with weak voice, BL and presence in general. It doesn't work cause it doesn't make an impact. With social circle situations it's fine but when you have just one shot to meet a girl [cold approach] you better make your short snapshot of your personality memorable enough.

Simple example, student camp, I met some girls and my buddy invited us to visit him in some kind of pseudo music studio where he practiced his songs. Cool. As we're going there I'm flirting hard and fooling around with girl's hands [hands are great to break the physical barrier, they're meant for grabbing/touching/caressing/etc and it's super easy to play around with them]. We entered the studio and I felt like my "value" so to speak was dropping down every second simply because the guy was the shit there not me. So as they started getting busy playing and practicing I quickly grabbed one chair and brought it right next to mine, took my girl's hand, pulled her in and sat her down next to me, still holding hand and talking more. From that moment on she was really into me.

Me met up later that day to drink and party. I was the one who told everybody what we would do, what we would drink, where we would do it, I took care of all this stuff, I took my girl with me to go buy more booze, as we were walking I take her hand [hand guys, not forearm, always HAND] I step aside, pin her to a nearest tree and make out hard. I added "not here" [my favorite line, so direct yet so subtle], then went to the shop.

Later on we danced and I left her. I took my buddy with me and I told him that this girl [my girl] really liked him. We went to the dance floor I joined my girl who was already there and I told her that this guy really wanted to dance with her. I literally pushed her towards my buddy nearby and she bumped into him and they started to dance probably awkwardly. I walked out of the place to drink with my friends outside, I fooled around with other girls and played around with drinking games, with my hand on their hips etc.

My girl stormed out of the place and noticed me shouting "there he is!!!" and walked straight towards me pissed like she's about to knock me the fuck out. Girls got scared and left while I laughed and asked about how fun it was for her to dance with him there. She's still pissed so I said "I thought he was your type" and I offered her make her my magic mixture [which is magic vodka with magic juice] as my apologize. Yup I apologized. I already was dick enough to her so now was the time to change the mood. I became lovely again and she really liked it. She literally melted in my arms. Caressing times. Our friends joined and we hung out in one big circle. Everybody talked to everybody especially me cause I like it. So it was like I was kind of with her but still talking to other girls. Later on my girl said loudly pointing at me "I like him, I like him, he's the best, blablabla..". I thought "yup, she's mine".

From then on I spent the rest of the night with her, we went to the beach together and the rest is history.

Notice how many times I made some sort of impact on her. There were a lot of different emotions and situations involved. Lesson is.. I'm nothing special as a person but I know how to make an impact whether it's with new girl or in relationship. That is fucking seduction. That is game.

[WestIndianArchie]

^ came in like Superman and destroyed Metropolis

WIA

[Running Turtles]

(06-02-2016 11:53 AM)yeppels Wrote:  

Quote:

envy, jealousy

Subtlety is key here. I'm coming up short on this one.
- She loves traveling? Tell her more stories that relate to your travels

- Have her see you talking to other girls.
- Photos on social media (except LinkedIn) should have pictures of you with girls in them.
- If you want to be really cheap, leave a hairpin like this one lying somewhere in your apartment. For some reason, girls tend to notice this and leave them everywhere...

The last point is only half serious. My point is that if you're able to to stir up these emotions in her and she realizes that you can do the same with other girls, she will feel at least some level of jealousy. As you said, subtlety.

WIA, by all means clarify if you had something else in mind.

[WestIndianArchie]

My post is about *not* being subtle. This isn't about teasing, negs, or dread. Those sort of gambits appeal to the the shy. Guys that don't want to be exposed.

Not a 1/4 tsp of salt, but a whole bottle of hot sauce. Trying to get her to really feel something when you first meet her, and every subsequent encounter.

If a chick is really into you, she'll start interpreting everything and anything. There won't be a need to place one blonde hair on your sheets.

A lot of the dread tactics are about controlling a chick, keeping her under your thumb.

What I'm suggesting is that you're such a emotional thrill ride that she is trying to keep you around.
(This gets into other issues like why relationships fail, but this is about the overall point of game)

And keep in mind, this can all be integrated into a low energy/ verbal style like I have now, or a more high energy life of the party style when I was younger.

Like you can turn on a girl in the middle of the date.

"I can't believe you like just said that"

With a low key style, the right tone of voice puts her in defense, like she really offended you.

With a high energy style, you can go for the laugh. Or you can correct her.

You're evoking feels through tone of voice.

Guys do not realize that they're supposed to be playing with her emotions. When they do figure that out, they play it safe. Feathering the gas pedal.

But that gets into the how. This post is about the " what am I trying to do"

I don't think modern game makes it clear.

[XPQ22]

(06-02-2016 02:48 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

@XP

When you see those hot chicks with bad boys or emo artists, it's because both of those guys can make her happy and aren't afraid to make her cry. Even old women, 35+ want that rollercoaster. That's what makes her feel alive. A chick might test you, to get you mad, fight, and then makeup sex.

You're dealing her drugs. She's an addict to her "feels".

Part of the problem seems to be that I've internalized a notion that this is "wrong." Being a comedian is easy for me, and whatever the outcome I always feel like "well, at least everyone liked me and nobody was offended."

I know that for my part, I crave stability in my personal life. I guess I can understand that some may not want that, but every time I "shake things up" I end up feeling unpleasant about myself.

I "soft nexted" one of the girls I was seeing last month...first time I've ever done something like that. And, well, it worked. She was more enthusiastic than ever the next time I saw her, and the makeup sex was great. But I admit that it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

I had abusive parents that seemed to enjoy manipulating my emotions simply for the fuck of it - because they got off on it. At a young age my father would do things like say "Hey! I bought you a new train set!" in a serious manner, and then follow up with something like "Psyche! Just kidding. I don't have the money", simply because he enjoyed watching me go on the rollercoaster from enthusiasm to dismay. He didn't do it because he was after any particular result or was trying to change my behavior...he just liked the sense of power it gave him. If I was ever dumb enough to say "Hey Dad, please don't do that, I don't like it", he would make a career out of doing it repeatedly.

As they grew older and their issues became more pronounced, it became clear to me that I'd spent most of my childhood trying to please these people who could never be pleased. They were miserable black holes that would suck the life out of anyone - all I wanted was their affirmation that I was a good kid, and they would never give it. They couldn't.

And for that reason, anything that smacks of that makes me feel enormously uncomfortable. I've always gravitated towards careers where I can say I've done something to make someone's life better, or make them happy, simply because I can rest easy at night knowing that I'm not him.

[WestIndianArchie]

(06-02-2016 04:52 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(06-02-2016 02:48 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

@XP

When you see those hot chicks with bad boys or emo artists, it's because both of those guys can make her happy and aren't afraid to make her cry. Even old women, 35+ want that rollercoaster. That's what makes her feel alive. A chick might test you, to get you mad, fight, and then makeup sex.

You're dealing her drugs. She's an addict to her "feels".

Part of the problem seems to be that I've internalized a notion that this is "wrong." Being a comedian is easy for me, and whatever the outcome I always feel like "well, at least everyone liked me and nobody was offended."

That's a big mental hurdle that we all have to overcome.
Guys think that guy that is fucking has the gift of gab, has one liners, and is witty all the time.

You gotta stir shit up, but also channel her energy.

(06-02-2016 04:52 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

I know that for my part, I crave stability in my personal life. I guess I can understand that some may not want that, but every time I "shake things up" I end up feeling unpleasant about myself.

That's most men. You're not alone in that regard.

It's important to say that this aspect of the game applies in the short term pick up situation, as well as the long term relationship situation.

You have to be comfortable with
- making her feel uncomfortable
- breaking her heart
- leaving her if its not working for you

(06-02-2016 04:52 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

I "soft nexted" one of the girls I was seeing last month...first time I've ever done something like that. And, well, it worked. She was more enthusiastic than ever the next time I saw her, and the makeup sex was great. But I admit that it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

You're giving her what she wants. She wants drama, she likes drama. If you give her nothing but good feelings, she gets bored, and she will create drama. The girls who don't create drama, typically are trying to put the screws to you somehow.

"Hang out with me, don't work so hard"
"Hang out with me, not your friends"

So she's fucking up your money and your social life/connections to the community. And if you don't resist her, if you don't upset her by resisting her, she'll get used to the power, and then the contempt for you will grow.


____________________________________________

So when you give her the rollercoaster she craves, you have to make her give you what you want. In a short term or long term relationship, that's a teaching role, a leadership role, a fatherly role.

If you don't, chicks run wild and make everyone else around them unhappy.

Your past is your past, but you gotta let that go. Otherwise it will rule you.

The soft next, the hard next, in the moment corrections are good for you and her. Once she understands the rules...(she'll figure out how to circumvent them, lol)

WIA

[Dalaran1991]

Quote:

You have to be comfortable with
- making her feel uncomfortable
- breaking her heart
- leaving her if its not working for you

You gotta stir shit up, but also channel her energy.

I'm cherry picking part of your wisdom WIA.

How do you "stir shit up" as a man?

We as men tend to prefer stability/peace over all things. Which is why moody, psychopath = drugs to girls because they like stirring shit up.

So in essential, you have to be a drama king? Like getting mad at little things? This is obviously different to "dread game" which is another case, another use.

Just how do you stir thing up and not be emotional/weak?

This is also taking risk. I'm in a functional LTR. I know that in order to keep it functional I need to be doing all the things you stated above.

But its so easy to cross to the other side.

How do you know when its too much and the girl can't take it anymore?

I'm not afraid of losing my girl or leaving her. I'm afraid of hurting her for no reason than to keep her.

That's the irony of it. You have to hurt her in order to keep her? Not arguing with it, but you see the double edge here.

Enough broken bitches out there, aint got no need to add more to the mix just because.

[WestIndianArchie]

(06-03-2016 09:10 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

That's the irony of it. You have to hurt her in order to keep her? Not arguing with it, but you see the double edge here.

Enough broken bitches out there, aint got no need to add more to the mix just because.

This is getting far from the point of the post.

But if you want your LTR to fail, fall into a rut. Keep doing the same things with the same emotional undertones.

If you want your LTR to thrive, she needs variety of experience. Day 119 is different than day 118.

Conventionally - this was escalating her investment and commitment. Dating, to exclusive, to marriage,to children.

We know where the conventional path leads. To you getting fat, and her breaking up with you, taking the kids and half your income.

For players there are other options
- Keep the relationship open.
- When she comes at you with drama, you don't try to squelch the drama at first, you heat it up, let it blow up, and then hit her with the make up sex.
- Staying in the scene and growing your social circle. She'll get enough drama in her life just by seeing you interact with other men and women.

This post is about the fact that game is purposefully engaging a woman's emotions. Giving her emotional impacts. The "feels" is how you really hook a chick on purpose.

Giving her 'the feels'?

That job never ends. When you stop doing it, she's open to someone else doing it. She's constantly doing it to herself. Romance novels, Office 'problems' that aren't really problems...

It's weird. Most of the guys here think that chicks are all emotional.
But illogically, these guys approach chicks with logic and expect them to be logical and rational.

A player recognizes that she's emotional, and he gives her the things that she wants. Even if he doesn't want those things for himself.
My mom likes flowers. I get her flowers. I don't want a bouquet for myself. She does. I give them to her, and she's happy.

A player observes.

You ever wonder why these chicks have 1,000 friends, and always have things to go to and attend - at the root of their existence they need the social interactions to get the highs and the lows.

When you watch chicks talk among themselves, the emotional tone goes up and down. The topics are almost too chaotic to follow. And the younger and hotter a chick is, the more so this is true.

That never ends, as much as guys want it to. I see elderly women get into these patterns. Men do this too, but we are often blind to see it.

Game is really a different way of looking at people. That's why when you get game, you can expand what you're able to do, because you realize that most people (men included) are actually operating on this level.

It's how people get elected.
It's how things are sold.

You know this intellectually, but as a consumer and employee.

Game says you can apply this psychology, this basic understanding of people, and you can do so as a maker, a producer, an employer, a leader.

So to tie it together

You need feels to hook the chick
You need feels to get her to stay into it.
She needs feels all the time.

You can give her highs and lows directly by adding drama, or escalating her drama.
You can give her the feels by putting the two of you in situations that get her juices going.

The key here is understanding the breadth of the feels that you can give, and the depth of feels.

So the young player might think I need to start a fight with my girl.
The seasoned player might just take his girl and put her in a new environment with him.
Or take her to a challenging environment.
Indeed, sometimes by you changing up your routine, you give a chick new stimuli.

WIA

[XXL]

(06-03-2016 09:10 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

How do you "stir shit up" as a man?

We as men tend to prefer stability/peace over all things. Which is why moody, psychopath = drugs to girls because they like stirring shit up.

So in essential, you have to be a drama king? Like getting mad at little things? This is obviously different to "dread game" which is another case, another use.

Just how do you stir thing up and not be emotional/weak?

You don't identify with it, that's how you're not weak. It's a silly metaphor but oh well it's like playing video game just for fun and don't care about score, you just play to fuck around with opponent. Whatever happens it's funny to you. That's very similar headspace.

One time I met this girl who was a bitch from hell. Incredible annoying but hot as fuck. After a while I just lost it and detached myself completely. Since I was done with her I decided, in the name of science of course, to check how much I can push it before she deletes my number and disappears. I pushed it far and she was still hooked. I knew that she had certain type of personality that craved drama so got away with a lot of my bullshit but damn, I couldn't believe she was still responding after all of this. Power of strong and contrasting emotions.

I see 3 ways to stir it up.

1. You just live your life on your terms. That alone WILL result in drama cause men's goals and needs are different than women's goals and needs so there is a natural clash of interests. "Honey I'm leaving for a weekend to see my good old buddy. Alone" will be enough.

2. You amp it up every time she causes drama. When she comes at you with her bullshit you don't try to control the fire, you pour gasoline into it to cause even bigger drama than she meant to cause. You just gonna stand there and watch her burn but that's alright because she likes the way it hurts.

3. You orchestrate your drama. You make shit up on your own and throw at her hard. There's always something to use as an excuse. Ex.. she didn't text back in hours? She made you feel useless, you always wait for her, you thought something wrong happened, etc etc. You take something silly and blow it out of proportions and attach meaning to it in a way that it's all her fault. I don't recommend it but if you can set up fire and control it to spice it up then that's the way I'd recommend to do it

(06-03-2016 09:10 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

This is also taking risk. I'm in a functional LTR. I know that in order to keep it functional I need to be doing all the things you stated above.

But its so easy to cross to the other side.

How do you know when its too much and the girl can't take it anymore?

I'm not afraid of losing my girl or leaving her. I'm afraid of hurting her for no reason than to keep her.

If you really want to try then start small. Assess what to do base it on variety. If you feel like you're pushing one button for too long let go and push another DIFFERENT one. For ex, if you are in the middle of long argument you can text "I'm sorry I'm a dick I hate myself for that, I'll never open up again" and go silent for a day. Completely unpredictable move. And that's the whole point. Be unpredictable. Always. She should never figure you out. Ever.

(06-03-2016 09:10 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

That's the irony of it. You have to hurt her in order to keep her? Not arguing with it, but you see the double edge here.

No, you don't have to hurt her, you don't have use any of drama shit. But you must keep variety alive. Variety of emotions and unpredictability of your overall behavior.

[riddlemethis]

(06-01-2016 09:34 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Your goal as a player is to make her feel
- joy, happiness, laughter
- sadness
- anger, outrage, hatred
- awe, inspiration
- envy, jealousy
- sense of purpose, sense of direction
- lust, desire,
- ambiguity, uncertainty
- scared, frightened, startled, surprised

My experience so far is that different women respond to better to different feelings and not all enjoy the felling of anger or uncertainty. I'm I correct or am I looking to deep into their reactions? As an example I was playing around with a girl at work, I said something along the lines of "maybe I don't care" to her jokingly. she seemed to take it personally and walked away. Surely that hurt me more then it helped?