[therealpoder]

I know this is a forum of committed bachelors and players but since a lot of older guys on here have been married or are married, and a lot of guys get player burnout and want to settle down, I thought I would ask.

Is it advisable to sleep with as many women as you can/want until you get “player burnout” or get a girl that is “good enough” even though you haven’t slept around much but would like to?

The reason I ask it that I am 30 and, despite putting in a lot of effort in approaching/game/fitness when I was in my 20s, I was not successful with women. I attribute that in large part to living in a bad dating environment.

Anyway, I recently met a girl in her 28 from another country and we’ve been dating for a few months. She has a great personality, and although I have gone on dates with many women that look better than her, she looks good enough for me. She actually has a feminine, caring personality that is in stark contrast to a lot of women in this city. She is one of the few women I have met that is marriage material.

My problem is, despite wanting to, I never banged a lot of women. My notch count is 10, which is even less than what it seems since I banged only a couple of those women more than once. Hence, I have constant thoughts about banging other women.

Moreover, although I personally haven’t experienced much change in my dating life yet, I hear that the 30s and 40s is a great time for a man to be single, assuming he is a decent catch. I do have a professional, well paying job and am physically fit, and don’t have problems approaching or having a conversation. As far as SMV value, things are only looking up.

I say all this to ask, should I maintain my relationship with this girl I am currently dating despite wanting to bang other women? Or should I drop a decent girl in order to bang other women?

Does this urge to always want to bang hotter, other women stay with you until you get player burnout?

My dilemmas:

1. I think the girl I am currently with is marriage material but I do not want to be the equivalent of some early to mid 20s girl that dropped a decent guy for the next best thing.

2. She is a legitimately good person so I don’t waste her time.

3. I am getting older and don’t want to be old enough to be a grandparent but am still raising kids.

4. But on the other hand, based on all the things I have going for me and women I have gone on dates with in the past, I know I am able to get better looking women than the one I have, although their personalities may not be as pleasant.

5. I’m not sure about latching onto the first decent women that has shown serious interest.

[brob]

What did she tell you her notch count is?

[therealpoder]

4. I believe her though. I haven't seen any signs of carousel riding and she's not American.

[kaotic]

(05-05-2016 04:50 PM)therealpoder Wrote:  

5. I’m not sure about latching onto the first decent women that has shown serious interest.

Don't.

Simple as that, you're putting her on a pedestal because she's the first girl you ran across that's decent.

So you're thinking "well things might not get any better" so you think you might be settling. Don't.

The fact you created a post about her proves the above.

Why is your region not conducive to dating/banging ?

What region are you located in ? What region is she from ?

What are the possibilities of relocation to a better region ?

10 notches is a low count, it sounds like your game needs improvement.

Quote:

My problem is, despite wanting to, I never banged a lot of women

Wanting to bang women, and banging women are 2 different things. You say you have these thoughts on banging other women as well.

My simple question is:

What have you done lately to make this happen ?

Quote:

Is it advisable to sleep with as many women as you can/want until you get “player burnout” or get a girl that is “good enough” even though you haven’t slept around much but would like to?

Some gents on this forum aren't capable of constantly banging new women and plates.

Some men are just looking for a good quality woman to be with, which is fine.

I'm almost 30, banged alot more than 10 women.

I've experienced player burnout, I've experienced spinning plates, I've had an LTR and had 2 mini LTR's on the side while with the main LTR. I also was constantly banging on the side.

At this point I'm not looking for a girl that is good enough, just a girl that's better quality.

You're barely 30, I wouldn't settle down.

It sounds like you have a scarcity mentality right now so you're latching onto something you think is "good" so far.

[Gustavus Adolphus]

28 is too old to start whatever process your mind is trying to rationalize about her.

[Valentine]

It seems like fear is affecting your thinking. That you can't get any better so you should 'settle down' so you can have kids.

First off, it's not an either/or choice.

Soft harem i.e. fuck other girls discretely on the side. Don't let her move in with you. Keep laying her and doing your thing on the side.

Having a regular can do wonders for your confidence and girls can almost smell a man who is sexually satisfied and has other options.

Second, she's 28. That is not marriage material. She's on her decline, whereas you've still not reached your peak.

And yeah, your notch count is a bit too low to be considering marriage. You need more experience if you're going to take that plunge into the pool of sharks.

Don't know where you live but take some short trips to the pussy paradises in your region. Just getting more notches in itself will change your whole mindset about this situation.

[Easy_C]

Bingo. Normally I would advise you to take it seriously and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. My instinct in your case is that you've got some inner demons causing you to think about doing something you normally wouldn't.

The reason I married my girl was pretty simple when you get down to it. Once I got to know her better I begam to reach a point where I couldn't imagine anyone else being a better mother than her. I'm actually somewhat protective of her because the thought of having to go back to dealing with normal American women is revolting after how pleasant the past dive years have been.

Compare that with as another poster said being "scared things might not get any better".

Fear of things getting worse is a terrible foundation for any major undertaking like marriage.

Also worth noting that..ya know what? You DO think about banging otber2 women. It never leaves your system especially when you get shit like a cute undergrad looking you right in the eye before deciding she needs to start doing straight lef deadlifts right in front of where you're working out.

You know what you do? Act like a fucking adult and let it go. They don't have anything to offer I don't already have.


Edit: She actually might be a great one to marry, but You can't make that decision well in your current mindset.

[therealpoder]

(05-05-2016 05:58 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(05-05-2016 04:50 PM)therealpoder Wrote:  

5. I’m not sure about latching onto the first decent women that has shown serious interest.

Don't.

Simple as that, you're putting her on a pedestal because she's the first girl you ran across that's decent.

So you're thinking "well things might not get any better" so you think you might be settling. Don't.

The fact you created a post about her proves the above.

Why is your region not conducive to dating/banging ?

I live in DC. Tons have been written on this forum as to why it is a shitty place but to recap:

1. Bad gender ratios: despite what the census may say, there are more single guys here 18 - 35 than women, and the women here know it.

2. Shortage of beautiful women: There is nothing drawing beautiful women here, unlike New York City or Los Angeles.

3. Women have bad attitudes and ridiculous expectations: because they have some masters degree or work on the hill, they believe that they deserve some guy with a $200,000 salary with the physique of a bodybuilder.

4. Too transient: you meet a decent woman around here and the next thing you know, she’s moving away.

5. Feminist mindset: the women here want to work on their careers and get married when they are 35.

6. Having a high income doesn’t help: since there are so many professionals and accomplished guys here, saying you went to a certain school or have a certain income is not going to make you stand out because so many other guys have equal or superior credentials.

7. Women lack femininity and style: If you compare the average American girl here with the average woman from Eastern Europe or Latin America, you notice that the American girls act more masculine.

Quote:

What region are you located in ? What region is she from ?

She's from a small town in Canada.

Quote:

What are the possibilities of relocation to a better region ?

In the weeks before I met her, I was trying to move to New York City. There are licensing requirements in my line of work, and it is a pain, so it is not easy to move from place to place.

Quote:

10 notches is a low count, it sounds like your game needs improvement.

To be honest with you, I was pretty jaded and burned out. I was pretty bad with women when growing up but started approaching in the summer of 2010. From 2010 - 2014, I probably approached 2000 - 3000 women, mostly doing street approaches, which is inefficient, and sometimes going to bars and clubs. I got a grand total of 1 bang. I know I did this many approaches because I used to keep a journal.

I had to do about 10 approaches to get 1 number and have to get 4-5 numbers to get a date. So approaching was like a job. And even when I went on a date and it went well and my opinion, I would never hear from the girl again. It wasn't that my conversation skills, fashion or physique was lacking. I did everything "right" but it still wouldn't lead anywhere. Or, I went on several dates and it didn't lead to a bang or anything else. It made me feel even worse.

After doing all those approaches after all those years, trying to earn a high income and getting to good physical shape and having nothing to show for it, I thought to myself "why bother? It is a total waste of time. I did all of this work and these are the terrible results I get?" So I quit approaching around 2015 and thought to myself that I would save a lot of money, get rich, retire in some third world country and not deal with it anymore. I thought, I would "go my own way". Then I met the girl I am currently dating.

Quote:

What have you done lately to make this happen ?

I haven't approaches since I met her. Moreover, even if I did approach, it would likely be a waste of time. I have done thousands of approaches and it hasn't led to anything, why would it be different now?

[Hazaer]

(05-06-2016 04:29 AM)therealpoder Wrote:  

(05-05-2016 05:58 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(05-05-2016 04:50 PM)therealpoder Wrote:  

5. I’m not sure about latching onto the first decent women that has shown serious interest.

Don't.

Simple as that, you're putting her on a pedestal because she's the first girl you ran across that's decent.

So you're thinking "well things might not get any better" so you think you might be settling. Don't.

The fact you created a post about her proves the above.

Why is your region not conducive to dating/banging ?

I live in DC. Tons have been written on this forum as to why it is a shitty place but to recap:

1. Bad gender ratios: despite what the census may say, there are more single guys here 18 - 35 than women, and the women here know it.

2. Shortage of beautiful women: There is nothing drawing beautiful women here, unlike New York City or Los Angeles.

3. Women have bad attitudes and ridiculous expectations: because they have some masters degree or work on the hill, they believe that they deserve some guy with a $200,000 salary with the physique of a bodybuilder.

4. Too transient: you meet a decent woman around here and the next thing you know, she’s moving away.

5. Feminist mindset: the women here want to work on their careers and get married when they are 35.

6. Having a high income doesn’t help: since there are so many professionals and accomplished guys here, saying you went to a certain school or have a certain income is not going to make you stand out because so many other guys have equal or superior credentials.

7. Women lack femininity and style: If you compare the average American girl here with the average woman from Eastern Europe or Latin America, you notice that the American girls act more masculine.

Quote:

What region are you located in ? What region is she from ?

She's from a small town in Canada.

Quote:

What are the possibilities of relocation to a better region ?

In the weeks before I met her, I was trying to move to New York City. There are licensing requirements in my line of work, and it is a pain, so it is not easy to move from place to place.

Quote:

10 notches is a low count, it sounds like your game needs improvement.

To be honest with you, I was pretty jaded and burned out. I was pretty bad with women when growing up but started approaching in the summer of 2010. From 2010 - 2014, I probably approached 2000 - 3000 women, mostly doing street approaches, which is inefficient, and sometimes going to bars and clubs. I got a grand total of 1 bang. I know I did this many approaches because I used to keep a journal.

I had to do about 10 approaches to get 1 number and have to get 4-5 numbers to get a date. So approaching was like a job. And even when I went on a date and it went well and my opinion, I would never hear from the girl again. It wasn't that my conversation skills, fashion or physique was lacking. I did everything "right" but it still wouldn't lead anywhere. Or, I went on several dates and it didn't lead to a bang or anything else. It made me feel even worse.

After doing all those approaches after all those years, trying to earn a high income and getting to good physical shape and having nothing to show for it, I thought to myself "why bother? It is a total waste of time. I did all of this work and these are the terrible results I get?" So I quit approaching around 2015 and thought to myself that I would save a lot of money, get rich, retire in some third world country and not deal with it anymore. I thought, I would "go my own way". Then I met the girl I am currently dating.

Quote:

What have you done lately to make this happen ?

I haven't approaches since I met her. Moreover, even if I did approach, it would likely be a waste of time. I have done thousands of approaches and it hasn't led to anything, why would it be different now?

That amt of approaches is unbelievable. I would say if you can maintain frame with a girl in an LTR then why not.. Out of curiosity, is she english or french canadian?

[Little Bo Peep]

therealpoder,

Rather than thinking in terms of short and long relationships, why not go for a middle? Plan a middle-length relationship with her, have a few kids, and vow to re-think things in several years if you still think you could do better. She's the one with a clock on her reproductive abilities, not you… so long as you're not fat and ugly and getting worse by the day, that is - getting older won't help you then, but men can usually remain sexy to women until the age of 60 or more if they keep in shape.

That's what I'd do, anyhow - knock her up, experiment with reproduction, and keep it in the back of your mind that nothing has to be forever.

[Phoenix]

Inb4 someone posts the taco girl meme.

[Designate]

(05-06-2016 08:41 AM)Little Bo Peep Wrote:  

therealpoder,
That's what I'd do, anyhow - knock her up, experiment with reproduction, and keep it in the back of your mind that nothing has to be forever.

Yeah man, just dabble with a little reproduction.

You can totally throw the baby out with the bath water when you are done experimenting.

No problem.

[yeppels]

(05-06-2016 04:29 AM)therealpoder Wrote:  

To be honest with you, I was pretty jaded and burned out. I was pretty bad with women when growing up but started approaching in the summer of 2010. From 2010 - 2014, I probably approached 2000 - 3000 women, mostly doing street approaches, which is inefficient, and sometimes going to bars and clubs. I got a grand total of 1 bang. I know I did this many approaches because I used to keep a journal.

I had to do about 10 approaches to get 1 number and have to get 4-5 numbers to get a date. So approaching was like a job. And even when I went on a date and it went well and my opinion, I would never hear from the girl again. It wasn't that my conversation skills, fashion or physique was lacking. I did everything "right" but it still wouldn't lead anywhere. Or, I went on several dates and it didn't lead to a bang or anything else. It made me feel even worse.

By your math and by taking the lowest number in the range, you went on 40 first dates. 40 first dates and 1 bang? You are not doing it 'right'. If in your opinion, the date went well, but you never heard from the girl again, your opinion is wrong.

I could be wrong here and it could be the D.C. dating environment, but it seems to me that something here doesn't add up. I definitely have a feel after a first date whether it went well or not. Usually, if it goes really well and I know it went really well, I get a followup text from her that same night or the next day. Sometimes it fizzles out afterwards. But I find it rare that I never hear from a girl again if I feel a date went well.

If you are going on multiple dates with a girl, she is clearly interested in you, but for whatever reason, you are failing to close.

Sounds like there is something off in your dating game. Maybe try online dating? You can get more practice and maybe more feedback here since you can get more dates with lower investment than approaching like you did.

[kaotic]

(05-06-2016 04:29 AM)therealpoder Wrote:  

(05-05-2016 05:58 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(05-05-2016 04:50 PM)therealpoder Wrote:  

5. I’m not sure about latching onto the first decent women that has shown serious interest.

Don't.

Simple as that, you're putting her on a pedestal because she's the first girl you ran across that's decent.

So you're thinking "well things might not get any better" so you think you might be settling. Don't.

The fact you created a post about her proves the above.

Why is your region not conducive to dating/banging ?

I live in DC. Tons have been written on this forum as to why it is a shitty place but to recap:

1. Bad gender ratios: despite what the census may say, there are more single guys here 18 - 35 than women, and the women here know it.

2. Shortage of beautiful women: There is nothing drawing beautiful women here, unlike New York City or Los Angeles.

3. Women have bad attitudes and ridiculous expectations: because they have some masters degree or work on the hill, they believe that they deserve some guy with a $200,000 salary with the physique of a bodybuilder.

4. Too transient: you meet a decent woman around here and the next thing you know, she’s moving away.

5. Feminist mindset: the women here want to work on their careers and get married when they are 35.

6. Having a high income doesn’t help: since there are so many professionals and accomplished guys here, saying you went to a certain school or have a certain income is not going to make you stand out because so many other guys have equal or superior credentials.

7. Women lack femininity and style: If you compare the average American girl here with the average woman from Eastern Europe or Latin America, you notice that the American girls act more masculine.

All right fair enough, DC can suck, have you reached out to any of the forum members located in DC ? They might be able to help with your game and perhaps even tell you spots to game girls.

Quote:

Quote:

What region are you located in ? What region is she from ?

She's from a small town in Canada.

Quote:

What are the possibilities of relocation to a better region ?

In the weeks before I met her, I was trying to move to New York City. There are licensing requirements in my line of work, and it is a pain, so it is not easy to move from place to place.

Why were you planning NYC ? Why aren't you still planning on doing it ?

Nothing good comes easy man, maybe NYC is worth the move.

Quote:

Quote:

10 notches is a low count, it sounds like your game needs improvement.

To be honest with you, I was pretty jaded and burned out. I was pretty bad with women when growing up but started approaching in the summer of 2010. From 2010 - 2014, I probably approached 2000 - 3000 women, mostly doing street approaches, which is inefficient, and sometimes going to bars and clubs. I got a grand total of 1 bang. I know I did this many approaches because I used to keep a journal.

I had to do about 10 approaches to get 1 number and have to get 4-5 numbers to get a date. So approaching was like a job. And even when I went on a date and it went well and my opinion, I would never hear from the girl again. It wasn't that my conversation skills, fashion or physique was lacking. I did everything "right" but it still wouldn't lead anywhere. Or, I went on several dates and it didn't lead to a bang or anything else. It made me feel even worse.

After doing all those approaches after all those years, trying to earn a high income and getting to good physical shape and having nothing to show for it, I thought to myself "why bother? It is a total waste of time. I did all of this work and these are the terrible results I get?" So I quit approaching around 2015 and thought to myself that I would save a lot of money, get rich, retire in some third world country and not deal with it anymore. I thought, I would "go my own way". Then I met the girl I am currently dating.

So you're telling me you did 750 approaches every year for about 4 years ?

That's somewhat believable, do you still have that journal ? recorded any approaches (audio/video)?

It'd be interesting to see what your interactions were like.

Something doesn't add up if your fashion, looks, and physique are on point.

This just sounds like bad game or not gaming girls right no dates. Unless you're physically unattractive, to which I'm inclined to doubt.

That's good you got a plan in play, no way in hell should you change that plan because you caught up with some girl.

Women are ALWAYS SECONDARY to your own goals and needs.

Quote:

Quote:

What have you done lately to make this happen ?

I haven't approaches since I met her. Moreover, even if I did approach, it would likely be a waste of time. I have done thousands of approaches and it hasn't led to anything, why would it be different now?

Like I mentioned above, 10 bangs, over THOUSANDS of approaches ?

Something doesn't add up and it sounds like your game is the problem. I'd love for you to meet some RVF DC locals and have them critique your approaches and game.

Lastly, you have a goal to make bank and retire in a third world country.

Don't let this current chick foil that plan or to even move to NYC.

NYC is an amazing place to date/game/bang.

[Valentine]

Yeah you should meet up with the DC crew. Get in touch with Gmac. There's more than a dozen of them there.

Tell them your story and get some feedback.

If for whatever reason they can't figure it out, I'd hire a professional dating coach.

Would be worth the price considering the huge potential cost of marriage, plus the fact that sexual abundance is priceless.

[Designate]

(05-06-2016 12:03 PM)Valentine Wrote:  

If for whatever reason they can't figure it out, I'd hire a professional dating coach.

Would be worth the price considering the huge potential cost of marriage, plus the fact that sexual abundance is priceless.

How exactly would hiring someone else help him develop sexual abundance. This is developed strictly through personal trial, growth and development. Nobody else can help better develop that than you yourself.

Don't waste your time and money on that. Save that money for trips overseas to better countries. Go somewhere where you can boost your notch count and gain more experience with feminine and more attractive women.

Along with shredding your worry over your low notch count and disgust of having dealt with too many Americunts over the years, you will retroactively see there are many opportunites abroad for finding a potential long-term partner. This will also help you get over your problems with oneits as you will see there are an abundant amount of women outside the west who are just like your current "the one".

[kaotic]

(05-06-2016 12:16 PM)Designate Wrote:  

(05-06-2016 12:03 PM)Valentine Wrote:  

If for whatever reason they can't figure it out, I'd hire a professional dating coach.

Would be worth the price considering the huge potential cost of marriage, plus the fact that sexual abundance is priceless.

How exactly would hiring someone else help him develop sexual abundance. This is developed strictly through personal trial, growth and development. Nobody else can help better develop that than you yourself.

Don't waste your time and money on that. Save that money for trips overseas to better countries. Go somewhere where you can boost your notch count and gain more experience with feminine and more attractive women.

Along with shredding your worry over your low notch count and disgust of having dealt with too many Americunts over the years, you will retroactively see there are many opportunites abroad for finding a potential long-term partner. This will also help you get over your problems with oneits as you will see there are an abundant amount of women outside the west who are just like your current "the one".

I agree with this BUT he still needs a solid foundation of game, regardless of where he goes.

I still say meet up with the DC Boys, from I read, they're a great bunch of guys more than willing to help.

Nothing wrong with an outside analysis of your game.

Him focusing on bouncing out of the states is a great goal, one he should maintain focus on, maybe even moving out of DC for now as well.

Like I said before, females are always second to my goals and wants.

[Designate]

Yes, absolutely he should go meet other guys, especailly guys from RVF. But paying for a "dating coach" who in all likelihood would have little more than conventional blue pill advice is laughable at best.

I think even though he has been largely unsuccessful (his provided stats), he seems to have the very basics down. At least the basics needed to be successful in other countires with more normal male-female relations. Places that value of men of value, men with a good employment, intelligence, decent looking and mature behavior. This guy seems to have all that.

What more is to be learned having this guy approach more 49ers who would love nothing more than some deviant, super alpha male to fuck them in the bathroom of the bar. He's 30 and clearly worn out from dealing with such garbage.

I'm not also saying he should drop everything. Just take a few trips to boost that notch count and see what he can experience first hand with more feminine and attractive women.

[therealpoder]

I'm not sure why so many guys are shocked that I did so many approaches over a 4 year period. Hell, I thought that's what I had to do to get dates. I thought approximately 2-5% of the women I approached would lead to dates/bangs so, similar to an e-mail spammer, I approached any decent looking woman I could. I aimed for a high volume since if 2-5% of women would bang me, I should get some bangs after hundreds of approaches.

I went out a couple evenings a week from 5-7pm and did direct approaches on women walking down the sidewalk, bookstores, the metro, etc. I went out on Friday and Saturday nights from 10 PM to 2 AM and did mall approaches in Saturday afternoon. Since I was dedicating 5-15 hours a week doing approaches it was easy to do a high volume.

But day game wasn't that great since a lot of girls had boyfriends, some thought it was weird some guy they did know approached them, some women were too old/young, some women were just visiting, some women I didn't connect with, etc. So with all of that I had to do 8-10 approaches to get a number. And 3 or 4 of those numbers flaked. Maybe that's why I'm burned out and jaded. So much work with little return. This is before I knew about Roosh's Day Bang, where is advocates a different day game strategy.

Night, social circle and online game were worse. At night, women seemed to like rejecting a guy more than getting to know him. Online, I didn't get responses and the only women who were interested were far uglier than what I could get in real life. Since I worked full time and did masculine hobbies, I didn't have a social circle where I could meet women.

I often thought to myself "Fuck! Why am I doing all this work without anything to show for it? Worse, guys who aren't doing what I'm doing are getting better results." This is after lifting, dressing well, approaching, earning money, etc.

I used to think it was my fault that I failed, until I came to this site and realized that DC is just a shitty place in general and it wasn't my fault at all.

I was planning on moving to NYC since guys were saying that it was better than DC.

I wouldn't mind meeting up with other guys on the forum in this area for game. But if this city is bad as everyone says it is, why try? Why not go to somewhere different? They can't tell me to approach, dress nice, work on your career and get muscular since I'm already doing that.

I do agree about not letting a woman disrupt my plans though. And that I should meet more women before "settling", so I guess my question was answered.

[Burt Gummer]

Why cant you do both?

[kaotic]

(05-06-2016 04:59 PM)therealpoder Wrote:  

I wouldn't mind meeting up with other guys on the forum in this area for game. But if this city is bad as everyone says it is, why try? Why not go to somewhere different? They can't tell me to approach, dress nice, work on your career and get muscular since I'm already doing that.

I do agree about not letting a woman disrupt my plans though. And that I should meet more women before "settling", so I guess my question was answered.

Why try anything ? It's a negative attitude.

Here's what I suggest you do, meet up with the DC guys, and talk to them in person about what you're doing, have them see you do a few approaches just for kicks.

Well I'm glad you realize that, it's the best strategy for the long term.

I had a chance to move to a certain island in the pacific right before I met my second to last ex - I regret not moving there.

[Hazaer]

(05-06-2016 06:00 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(05-06-2016 04:59 PM)therealpoder Wrote:  

I wouldn't mind meeting up with other guys on the forum in this area for game. But if this city is bad as everyone says it is, why try? Why not go to somewhere different? They can't tell me to approach, dress nice, work on your career and get muscular since I'm already doing that.

I do agree about not letting a woman disrupt my plans though. And that I should meet more women before "settling", so I guess my question was answered.

Why try anything ? It's a negative attitude.

Here's what I suggest you do, meet up with the DC guys, and talk to them in person about what you're doing, have them see you do a few approaches just for kicks.

Well I'm glad you realize that, it's the best strategy for the long term.

I had a chance to move to a certain island in the pacific right before I met my second to last ex - I regret not moving there.

I second that. I think guys in the big cities who have RVFers to meet up should feel lucky whether it's to improve game or to wing. I am not saying that the OP is new to game bec he obviously has experience but for someone for example from DC who is starting out on game and is contemplating a move to NYC, if he is to get that little bit of guidance and confidence on the ground from some guys in DC first for a few weeks rolling with them, imagine his potential when he actually goes to NYC. Its real life lessons that most of the run off the mill PUAs may not provide despite you paying them.

[LeoneVolpe]

(05-06-2016 05:51 PM)Burt Gummer Wrote:  

Why cant you do both?

A guy should do both. I'm reminded of the Prisoner's dilemma paradox, which I believe shares a certain overlap with so-called "romantic" relationships.

The Prisoner's dilemma (as defined by Wikipedia):

Two members of a criminal gang are arrested and imprisoned. Each prisoner is in solitary confinement with no means of communicating with the other. The prosecutors lack sufficient evidence to convict the pair on the principal charge. They hope to get both sentenced to a year in prison on a lesser charge. Simultaneously, the prosecutors offer each prisoner a bargain. Each prisoner is given the opportunity either to: betray the other by testifying that the other committed the crime, or to cooperate with the other by remaining silent. The offer is:

If A and B each betray the other, each of them serves 2 years in prison
If A betrays B but B remains silent, A will be set free and B will serve 3 years in prison (and vice versa)
If A and B both remain silent, both of them will only serve 1 year in prison (on the lesser charge)

It is implied that the prisoners will have no opportunity to reward or punish their partner other than the prison sentences they get, and that their decision will not affect their reputation in the future. Because betraying a partner offers a greater reward than cooperating with him, all purely rational self-interested prisoners would betray the other, and so the only possible outcome for two purely rational prisoners is for them to betray each other. The interesting part of this result is that pursuing individual reward logically leads both of the prisoners to betray, when they would get a better reward if they both kept silent. In reality, humans display a systemic bias towards cooperative behavior in this and similar games, much more so than predicted by simple models of "rational" self-interested action.

It's no secret human beings are governed by their own self interest. With that in mind, while certainly not a finished theory, here's how I believe a Prisoner's-type dilemma commonly presents itself in a relationship:

If A and B both remain faithful and fulfilled, they both win. The likelihood of this scenario is iffy at best though given the prevalence in which relationships don't remain lifelong arrangements.
If A and B betray each other, and the truth is discovered, whoever betrays first "wins" even if technically they both lose.
If A betrays B but B remains unaware and faithful, A "wins" by having their cake (a steady relationship) and eating it too (enjoying the novelty of new partners) and vice versa.

In the last example, even if both partners cheat, I suggest the first to do so is the "winner" by their irreverence in breaking the relationship contract first. Their willingness to proceed in such actions would typify the maxim "The person who cares the least in a relationship has the most power in that relationship." The other two former examples I believe are self-explanatory.

I believe the optimal setup for a guy is to find a mildly attractive girl to satisfy your relationship needs while also pursuing extracurricular fun with more attractive girls when such opportunities present themselves. I read a quote once, it escapes me where it came from now, but it was something along the lines of "keep a 9 for pride and a 6 or 7 for comfort." Not a bad suggestion as it allows a guy to maintain his mentality of abundance rather than scarcity. Girls in the upper echelon of beauty while satisfying to bang are often shit for relationships, therefore in order to get the best of both worlds utilize girls of greater and lesser attractiveness, albeit in completely different roles.

[scorpion]

therealpoder Wrote:

I probably approached 2000 - 3000 women, mostly doing street approaches, which is inefficient, and sometimes going to bars and clubs. I got a grand total of 1 bang.

You're not exactly Rico Suave with these kind of numbers, and I'll be brutally honest: you simply never will be. If you've done that many approaches and still haven't even seen some basic improvement, this whole player thing is not for you. If you really like this girl and believe she's a good fit, I would advise you to stick with her. There's absolutely nothing wrong with monogamy and settling down. The player lifestyle itself is the anomaly. Most guys are not cut out for it (and this is not a bad thing).

Square peg, round hole. You've got to be honest with yourself.

[therealpoder]

(05-06-2016 06:00 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(05-06-2016 04:59 PM)therealpoder Wrote:  

I wouldn't mind meeting up with other guys on the forum in this area for game. But if this city is bad as everyone says it is, why try? Why not go to somewhere different? They can't tell me to approach, dress nice, work on your career and get muscular since I'm already doing that.

I do agree about not letting a woman disrupt my plans though. And that I should meet more women before "settling", so I guess my question was answered.

Why try anything ? It's a negative attitude.

Here's what I suggest you do, meet up with the DC guys, and talk to them in person about what you're doing, have them see you do a few approaches just for kicks.

Yeah, that's a good point. There's no sense in being negative.

(05-07-2016 07:34 AM)scorpion Wrote:  

therealpoder Wrote:

I probably approached 2000 - 3000 women, mostly doing street approaches, which is inefficient, and sometimes going to bars and clubs. I got a grand total of 1 bang.

You're not exactly Rico Suave with these kind of numbers, and I'll be brutally honest: you simply never will be. If you've done that many approaches and still haven't even seen some basic improvement, this whole player thing is not for you. If you really like this girl and believe she's a good fit, I would advise you to stick with her. There's absolutely nothing wrong with monogamy and settling down. The player lifestyle itself is the anomaly. Most guys are not cut out for it (and this is not a bad thing).

Square peg, round hole. You've got to be honest with yourself.

Sir, I respect your opinion but your opinion is wrong. Very wrong, in fact. All my lack of success means is for whatever reason, the women in my particular location are not attracted to me. Nothing more, nothing less. To demonstrate why your opinion is wrong, I'll pose these basic questions:

1. There's a whole section on this forum dedicated to traveling to other places to meet women. If location had no affect on dating results, why does that section of the forum exist?

2. It has been stated many times that DC is a terrible place for game. If that is true, why should it be surprising to have bad results in a place that is bad for game?

3. There are individual threads on the forum asking "what kind of girls you do best with?" If the type of women you approach didn't matter, why do those kinds of threads exist?

4. Hell, if it was not possible to improve your results, why does this forum exist at all?

Perhaps you meant well with your comment, but I don't take too well with people telling me that I can't do something. Thanks for sharing your thoughts though.