[dain_bramage]

I've been meaning to ask a few things to do with game and social skills and to introduce myself to the main points of it all. I have had moments when I should have been more dominate, aggressive, and took initiative. I feel like I have missed out on opportunities to have a girlfriend or at least get laid on a regular basis. I feel like I have made myself out to be a weak person. I was told to make a post here and get some advice. So here goes.

Example #1:

Earlier this year I did the whole online dating thing and had a long back and forth on Skype plus meetings in person. I was wanting to initiate something physical on the second after a movie we watched but it just didn't feel right to me and I needed to get home. I was afraid of the whole sexual harassment thing if she wasn't up for it. I am a very socially awkward person. Its difficult trying to act in a more alpha attitude

A few days later she said I was a really cool guy but there was no spark to her. I felt like I wasted a lot of time which is why I need to start getting informed about game. She was decently attractive and I enjoyed conversations with her but I was oblivious to any signals that were positive. How can I avoid those sorts of situations in the future?

Example #2:

This is not exactly to do with game but with being assertive:

I know a old guy that has been a consistent pain in the ass and trying to bum smokes and money off of people that feel sorry for him. I've known him almost 3 years. He doesn't share or give anyone anything, always acting as if people should supply him with means to continue his habits.



This bum whenever he sees me his pretty much first thing he asks me is whether I am still not smoking. He thinks its a an easy way of getting a conversation that would lead him to a smoke if I say I'm smoking again.

I had my last one more than a year ago. Yet he remembers one instance of me smoking and giving one smoke to him and he thinks if he pushes enough he'll get more. Its incredibly annoying. How can I tell him to go fuck himself in a polite way? We have many mutual acquaintances and friends. I don't want to come off as a villain to them.

He is bloody well annoying and if he does manage to see me around again I would love to shove him. That would make me out to be an asshole with the people I know. What ways can I make him damn sure not to ask for money or cigarettes from me?


Example #3:

At my local university there is a large amount of young women. I've not been able to actually just walk up to one and start talking. I find just being around so many people that I get tense and I don't feel quite right. It makes it difficult to start something with all the noise and commontion.

There's been a few that I want to open with but the only opportunities with the that I know from class is while we are in class. It doesn't feel like the right time to initiate something. I am wondering what I can do at school but in a manner in which I won't get the whole "harassment" shit.

What are some techniques I can use to spark a conversation there with one of my fellow students? How do I move beyond talking into more physical conversation?

Anyway, that's it for me. Thanks guys for any suggestions and advice.

[Rushjones]

Sounds Cliched my friend, but the solution to your problems are lift and get out you're head. Stop worrying about hurting other people's feelings. Get fit and watch how you're body language speaks volumes to the environment around you(including girls and people trying to hustle you). No shortcuts my friend put the workout in and the results will follow. Approach girls and if they say no, next them. Think Abundance. Fuck Feelings (Yours and Theirs) From one Newbie to this form to another. Safe Travels

[EDantes]

I'd say, read a book on body language and use confident body language; this makes a much bigger difference than you realize.

Best way to have confident body language without "thinking about it" is to stay in an upbeat attitude.

The idea that you have to use some "pick up line" is actually false, your best bet would be to learn how to make good conversation and have actual things to talk about (whether common interests, music, movies, etc). There are books on this too, general advice though is just to learn a little about 'fun' or 'pleasant subjects' (food, music, movies, etc) so that you have a bigger arsenal of conversation starters; conversation early on doesn't have to be "deep", just fun and lighthearted.

(A lot of guys have a very limited set of interests and don't know how to talk about anything else, which makes it hard to start conversations with girls or people they don't know; ex. if a guy only likes to make small talk about NFL, or... World of Warcraft with his buddies he's going to have a hard time approaching a girl and making conversation unless he knows she's into the same thing as him).

If you build some rapport over a genuine interest you can get a date, get laid, etc without even having to mention "sex" during your conversations.

As long as you aren't approaching some strange girl who you haven't conversed with, with a really inappropriate opener, then you won't have to worry about looking creepy.

Best advice for getting a date is to think of something fun you'd actually enjoy doing with the girl, and then try to work it into a conversation; if your mind is just focused on "you" or on "getting laid/getting a date" it will make you get cold feet.

---

As far as the guy who keeps mooching off of you, just let him know straight up without insulting him that he is asking too much and you would appreciate it if he would stop, if he refuses to respect that then he is not a friend, just using you, and is not worth having in your life.

---

Also, it's tough to fake confidence for the majority of people - as a starter I would recommend reading a book like Carlos Xuma's Secrets of the Alpha Men which does a good job summarizing the character traits of dominent men.

If a guy is sitting around at home doing nothing all day he's going to have a hard time just making himself "look confident" when he goes out to meet girls; his best bet is to make sure he's doing something with his life he is proud of rather than just trying to 'memorize' a bunch of tactics; I believe that "tactics" really shouldn't be bothered with too much unless one has the basics covered.

[dain_bramage]

Thanks guys for the responses.

I have had a lot of trouble with learning social cues and body language but I have been noticing what I am saying about myself physically more now. I try to look like I am working on something or paying attention to what is being said to me. Asking questions and such. There is just this wall in my way of acting initiating conversations. If the topic goes to European History then I can talk and listen for awhile. Small talk bores me. Anything to do with world politics and specifically Donald Trump is great but I don't think there are many Trump fans in my university in Canada.

Thank you for the advice!

It should be relatively easy to speak with women that have the same major as we would both be interested in conversations. The semester is almost done so I would have to wait until the fall but I can try to be more active.

[Remington]

(04-08-2016 07:06 PM)dain_bramage Wrote:  

I've been meaning to ask a few things to do with game and social skills and to introduce myself to the main points of it all. I have had moments when I should have been more dominate, aggressive, and took initiative. I feel like I have missed out on opportunities to have a girlfriend or at least get laid on a regular basis. I feel like I have made myself out to be a weak person. I was told to make a post here and get some advice. So here goes.

Example #1:

Earlier this year I did the whole online dating thing and had a long back and forth on Skype plus meetings in person. I was wanting to initiate something physical on the second after a movie we watched but it just didn't feel right to me and I needed to get home. I was afraid of the whole sexual harassment thing if she wasn't up for it. I am a very socially awkward person. Its difficult trying to act in a more alpha attitude

A few days later she said I was a really cool guy but there was no spark to her. I felt like I wasted a lot of time which is why I need to start getting informed about game. She was decently attractive and I enjoyed conversations with her but I was oblivious to any signals that were positive. How can I avoid those sorts of situations in the future?

Example #2:

This is not exactly to do with game but with being assertive:

I know a old guy that has been a consistent pain in the ass and trying to bum smokes and money off of people that feel sorry for him. I've known him almost 3 years. He doesn't share or give anyone anything, always acting as if people should supply him with means to continue his habits.



This bum whenever he sees me his pretty much first thing he asks me is whether I am still not smoking. He thinks its a an easy way of getting a conversation that would lead him to a smoke if I say I'm smoking again.

I had my last one more than a year ago. Yet he remembers one instance of me smoking and giving one smoke to him and he thinks if he pushes enough he'll get more. Its incredibly annoying. How can I tell him to go fuck himself in a polite way? We have many mutual acquaintances and friends. I don't want to come off as a villain to them.

He is bloody well annoying and if he does manage to see me around again I would love to shove him. That would make me out to be an asshole with the people I know. What ways can I make him damn sure not to ask for money or cigarettes from me?


Example #3:

At my local university there is a large amount of young women. I've not been able to actually just walk up to one and start talking. I find just being around so many people that I get tense and I don't feel quite right. It makes it difficult to start something with all the noise and commontion.

There's been a few that I want to open with but the only opportunities with the that I know from class is while we are in class. It doesn't feel like the right time to initiate something. I am wondering what I can do at school but in a manner in which I won't get the whole "harassment" shit.

What are some techniques I can use to spark a conversation there with one of my fellow students? How do I move beyond talking into more physical conversation?

Anyway, that's it for me. Thanks guys for any suggestions and advice.

Most of your interactions with women are about selling yourself and standing out amongst competition. Tell good stories, have 2 or 3 jokes you are awesome at telling, maybe revisit previous travel experiences.

When you mentioned example #3 about interacting with women in class, that is a piss poor excuse to not approach and chat up random women. Start off a conversation with something easy, such as a question.

"Hey, what did professor xx mention about that last assignment?"

"You participate bit in class, do you have an opinion on xx?"

You are way too concerned about the non-sensical harassment factor. Just because you start up conversation doesn't automatically mean you're the "creepy" guy. Kick that notion to the curb and grow a sac.

Your attitude will be a determining factor on how you act in your future interactions with women and how you handle future situations. Enjoy conversation with everyone and associate yourself with all social niches at school. This will help you with social circle game and allow people to get to know you. Once people start to get to know you, your confidence will grow tremendously and you will become the person that everyone wants to talk with at the party.

[Suits]

It's probably much easier to be an attractive man, than to fake being one.

For example, a lot of guys will try to play hard to get by waiting to respond to a girl's text messages or pretending to be busier than they are an delaying meeting a girl, so as to seem more valuable.

I'm actually an incredibly busy person, so when I tell a girl that I'm only free to meet her on a certain night, it comes off as genuine, because it's the truth and I'm only going to meet her if she puts some effort into it.

It would probably be much harder for me to fake this, than to live it.

Similarly, if you want to be dominant, you have to actually be dominant, not just act dominant.

[dain_bramage]

I will do that. There are some clubs there to go to. I will actually have to make an effort to stick around campus longer. Most days I'm exhausted and I want to go home. I will grow a ball sac.

[Schlep]

This is what I would do for starters.

Stop trying to game girls in your classes. If you have no game and start asking girls out and they reject you, they will start gossiping and your just killing your chances down the road.

Stop going to nightclubs to try to get laid. Only players can pull from night game. Plus, its usually a sausage fest anyway.

You need to slowly start building your confidence up. Woman can sense your weakness.

Work on dominating eye contact. Always make her look away first. She wants to be submissive, so let her. work on your frame control. Do not slouch in front of her. Stand big and strong. Always, have a sly little smile on your face. Look mischievous. Kinda like your up to something. Do not talk about stupid shit.

Go get business cards made up with a fake name and your number on it.

DAYGAME
Hit the streets, malls, cafes, wherever. Approx a pretty girl and say Hi I think your dress looks nice on you. I'm Dillon, how are you? Tell her your on your way to a business meeting and have to go. And, it was a pleasure to meet you. Hand her your business card and go. What I do is go to shake her hand. When she exstends her hand to shake it. I lightly give her hand a small kiss. Then I go. This instantly puts me out of the friend zone. But, I wouldn't try that until your confidence is higher.

Hand out your number to as many girls as you can. You'll be getting laid in no time.

Good luck

[Khan]

(04-08-2016 09:20 PM)Rushjones Wrote:  

Sounds Cliched my friend, but the solution to your problems are lift and get out you're head. Stop worrying about hurting other people's feelings. Get fit and watch how you're body language speaks volumes to the environment around you(including girls and people trying to hustle you). No shortcuts my friend put the workout in and the results will follow.

This x100. OP, I can heartily recommend what Rushjones said here, as this is exactly what helped me with problems almost identical to yours not so long ago.

Healthy mind, healthy body. It's very hard to be mentally strong if you're physically weak and unfit.

[Saweeep]

One of the wonderfully weird things about body language is that by holding your body in a certain way, you will actually feel the mental changes that could have brought about the body language naturally.

Simply standing in a confident manner makes you feel confident.

Fake it and you will make it.

[younggun]

Quote:

Earlier this year I did the whole online dating thing and had a long back and forth on Skype plus meetings in person. I was wanting to initiate something physical on the second after a movie we watched but it just didn't feel right to me and I needed to get home. I was afraid of the whole sexual harassment thing if she wasn't up for it. I am a very socially awkward person. Its difficult trying to act in a more alpha attitude

I think you're overthinking this, maybe a little bit too much forum lurking. This girl I assume was at your place watching the movie? If so, the girl is already at your place. She knows what could possibly go down. Nothing you do is going to get you dinged for "sexual harassment" unless you push past a firm "no", and even then she probably just won't see you again. She's already qualified you at this point

[RedPillUK]

(04-08-2016 07:06 PM)dain_bramage Wrote:  

Example #1:

Earlier this year I did the whole online dating thing and had a long back and forth on Skype plus meetings in person. I was wanting to initiate something physical on the second after a movie we watched but it just didn't feel right to me and I needed to get home. I was afraid of the whole sexual harassment thing if she wasn't up for it. I am a very socially awkward person. Its difficult trying to act in a more alpha attitude

A few days later she said I was a really cool guy but there was no spark to her. I felt like I wasted a lot of time which is why I need to start getting informed about game. She was decently attractive and I enjoyed conversations with her but I was oblivious to any signals that were positive. How can I avoid those sorts of situations in the future?

Some RVF shaming is required here to make you feel appropriately bad about what you did so you don't do it again..

   

Firstly, initiate physical contact as soon as possible, like straight away when you meet. Not on the second date, AFTER a movie. It should have been during the film, and on the first date.

It might feel awkward and scary but just go for it. What's going to turn a woman off more, a slightly clumsy and unneccesary touch when first meeting, or someone who's too scared to touch her by the end of a film on a second date?

I've made similiar mistakes before, I regret it now and am so ashamed of the coward I was, I won't let myself make those same mistakes again.

(04-08-2016 07:06 PM)dain_bramage Wrote:  

Example #2:

This is not exactly to do with game but with being assertive:

I know a old guy that has been a consistent pain in the ass and trying to bum smokes and money off of people that feel sorry for him. I've known him almost 3 years. He doesn't share or give anyone anything, always acting as if people should supply him with means to continue his habits...

This is easy. There is no polite way. Tell him no while staring him down. If he carries on just walk away or tell him to fuck off and that you know he's only trying to get free shit because he's a loser. If he starts to get in your face, punch him in the face and if he comes back for more, knock him out.

That should make you feel more assertive and dominant. You said he's old so it shouldn't be too difficult.

(04-08-2016 07:06 PM)dain_bramage Wrote:  

Example #3:

At my local university there is a large amount of young women. I've not been able to actually just walk up to one and start talking...

Read and apply Day Bang. It's easier said than done, but its the only book you need to get your head around this.

It's good you're actually going out and trying things rather than just reading about it, but you do need to read that book, and spend a lot of time reading to find out what you did wrong yourself rather than asking others. I think that way you will make more progress and understand things better.

Also body language is key and more important than what you say. Get rid of any beta body language, slouching, hiding behind your drink, hands in pockets, crossed legs like a girl, weird narrow stances with your feet straight forwards, hunched shoulders.
Lift or even do pushups and you will find your posture will improve.

[dain_bramage]

Nah, wasn't at my place. It was in public. But I could have gone for something outside the theatre.