What do call it when you stick one finger in a chick's pussy and one in her ass then press your fingers together? Hello from the otherside, by Adele. Needs some tweaking I know, but it's good material.
Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Quote: (10-15-2017 06:33 PM)Spectrumwalker Wrote:
What do Paul Walker and Philip Seymour Hoffman have in common?
They both died hitting black tar.
What do Dale Earhnhart and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
Two fags are fucking when the smoke alarm goes off, because a fire just started in their house. Who gets out first, the guy taking or the guy giving?
The guy taking, because he already has his shit packed.
The guy taking, because he already has his shit packed.
"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
I want to fuck Casey Anthony and I do not need a condom, because if she gets pregnant you know she will take care of it.....in the 15th trimester.
Delicious Tacos is the voice of my generation....
Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
A: Call her and tell her while you're doing it.
A: Call her and tell her while you're doing it.
Remissas, discite, vivet.
God save us from people who mean well. -storm
Got a chick pregnant from anal sex.
Kid looked like shit.
Kid looked like shit.
How do you know your roommate is gay? You blow him.
Aloha!
Aloha!
Two condoms walk into a gay bar.
One says to the other, "Hey you ready to get shit-faced?!"
One says to the other, "Hey you ready to get shit-faced?!"
How many dead babies do you need to tile a ceiling?
Depends how thin you slice them.
Depends how thin you slice them.
I found a wallet full of cash today. Being a good Christian I asked myself, "What would Jesus do?" so I turned it into wine.
"I find T.V. very educational: every time someone turns the set on, I go in the other room and read a book." -Groucho Marx.
What's the difference between E.T. and a refugee?
E.T actually learned English and went home.
E.T actually learned English and went home.
What do Jewish cheerleaders say? Get the quarter back.
Aloha!
Aloha!
How come gambling is banned in Africa? There are too many cheetahs.
How do you know if Lady Gaga is dead or not? Poke her face
How come Ken never got Barbie pregnant. Because he always came in another box
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? I heard it was in tents
I once swallowed two pieces of string, and an hour later they came out of my ass tied together
I shit you knot.
How do you know if Lady Gaga is dead or not? Poke her face
How come Ken never got Barbie pregnant. Because he always came in another box
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? I heard it was in tents
I once swallowed two pieces of string, and an hour later they came out of my ass tied together
I shit you knot.
What's better than winning the gold medal at the special Olympics? Not being a retard.
Aloha!
Aloha!
What did the Jewish pedophile say? Wanna buy some candy.
Aloha!
Aloha!
Religious joke one.
Four nuns are standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned.
"Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said.
"Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her.
He then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned.
"Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun.
"Why did you push ahead in line?" asked Peter.
"Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!" replied the nun.
Religous joke two.
St Peter decides to take the day off to go fishing, so Jesus offers to keep an eye on the Pearly Gates. He is not sure what to do, so Peter tells him to find out a bit about people as they arrive in Heaven, and this will help him decide if he can let them in.
After a while, Jesus sees a little old man with white hair approaching who looks very, very familiar. He asks the old man to tell him about himself. The old man says, "I had a very sad life. I was a carpenter and had a son who I lost at a relatively young age, and although he was not my natural child, I loved him dearly."
Jesus welled up with emotion. He threw his arms around the old man and cried, "Daddy!"
The old man replied, "Pinocchio?"
Four nuns are standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned.
"Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said.
"Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her.
He then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned.
"Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun.
"Why did you push ahead in line?" asked Peter.
"Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!" replied the nun.
Religous joke two.
St Peter decides to take the day off to go fishing, so Jesus offers to keep an eye on the Pearly Gates. He is not sure what to do, so Peter tells him to find out a bit about people as they arrive in Heaven, and this will help him decide if he can let them in.
After a while, Jesus sees a little old man with white hair approaching who looks very, very familiar. He asks the old man to tell him about himself. The old man says, "I had a very sad life. I was a carpenter and had a son who I lost at a relatively young age, and although he was not my natural child, I loved him dearly."
Jesus welled up with emotion. He threw his arms around the old man and cried, "Daddy!"
The old man replied, "Pinocchio?"
“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”
Carl Jung
Religious joke three:
A Catholic priest is taking an alterboy out into the woods. The kid says " father these woods are scary" the priest says " you're telling me, I have to walk back by myself!"
Religious joke four:
Why did Jesus have a black eye? He called St. Francis Assisi.
Aloha!
A Catholic priest is taking an alterboy out into the woods. The kid says " father these woods are scary" the priest says " you're telling me, I have to walk back by myself!"
Religious joke four:
Why did Jesus have a black eye? He called St. Francis Assisi.
Aloha!
There was a husband and wife who were getting bored at home because all their kids finally moved out.
The wife decided to take up an occupation, and she told the hubby 'I'm gonna become a prostitute.' Hubby says ok, thinking what the hell. Wife returns from first 'work' night and tells hubby, look I earned $110. Hubby was surprised and says how gave you the ten dollars? Wife says 'everyone.'
The wife decided to take up an occupation, and she told the hubby 'I'm gonna become a prostitute.' Hubby says ok, thinking what the hell. Wife returns from first 'work' night and tells hubby, look I earned $110. Hubby was surprised and says how gave you the ten dollars? Wife says 'everyone.'
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
It's an obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it.
It's an obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it.
"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Two fags are walking down the street. One of them is carrying a midget. He looks at the other one and says- "Hey you want another drag off of this before I throw it down?"
_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example
"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs
"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
Quote: (10-16-2017 06:47 AM)christpuncher Wrote:
[...] condoms [...]in a gay bar.
This by itself is a joke.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street. They spot a young kid across the street. The Priest says "I'd love to screw that kid!" The Rabbi says, "Out of what?"
"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
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