[tanner]

I often see these workshops advertised that say Overcome your fear of Public Speaking.

Personally I don't really have that much fear of Public Speaking. I would like to do some Public speaking just to get some practise at it. What however I do fear or perhaps have little tolerance for - is male hatred that the audience projects. Whenever a man takes a public stand, the mostly feminist audience projects this anger and hatred of masculinity. They care little what the male speaker has to say, but are more interested in things like - is he single, wonder how he gets sex, is he a rapist, does he feel women are his inferior -- things like that.

The fact is most single men struggle very much getting sex, and most see prostitutes. For me it is a very vulnerable part of my life -- one that I need to keep private bc there are so many shame feelings and other complexes involved. If I don't have regular sex, it is almost impossible to do public speaking.

I think many other men are in a similar situation and that is why many men keep private and especially stay away from public speaking. It is not the fear of public speaking, but it is dealing with the hatred and anger that many project against male sexuality.

[RonnieB]

Unless you are speaking to a woman's studies lecture most of your audience are not going to be hardcore feminists. You've been battling internet feminists for too long

[The Beast1]

This is an odd fear to have and I get the impression you're combining your professional competence with your physical attractiveness. This is stupid and an unattractive trait. Don't do this.

Get into this mindset: When people go out of their way to see you they want to know the information you're presenting. They REALLY want to be there and want you to succeed. The only thing holding you back is yourself.

Public speaking, much like gaming a woman, is a projection of your self confidence ie inner game. If you're bad at it, it's most likely a fear on the inside. Practice your speech in front of someone first, make sure the grammar is tight and there is a flow to what you're saying. Beyond that, it's just practice practice practice.

[dispenser]

You need to work backwards.

You only have one problem, but you're splitting it into the formal categories of modern life.
Not only that, but you're confusing the problem with the solution.

Women don't hate male sexuality.
They challenge it, and hate particular men when they fail the challenge but still show signs of desire.

This is why beta orbiters exist - they make themselves psychological eunuchs rather than suffer female hatred.

OP, to judge from the feelings you express, you're not really in a position to speak against feminism. Not yet.
You need to get your own mind in order, turn it into a calm pool of water.

The most important thing for you to keep in mind, both for game and public speaking (the same thing when you get down to it,) is that nobody knows what you really think or feel. There is no need to be honest if it inconveniences you. At the same time, you can be shockingly candid. The mind should be a calm pool that reveals nothing except what surprises.

Your mind is impenetrable, but the minds of your friends, enemies, women, audience are an open book.
If you don't know what they're thinking, pretend, and they will believe, because they think the way you do now.

[Rush87]

(02-23-2016 06:47 PM)tanner Wrote:  

I often see these workshops advertised that say Overcome your fear of Public Speaking.

Personally I don't really have that much fear of Public Speaking. I would like to do some Public speaking just to get some practise at it. What however I do fear or perhaps have little tolerance for - is male hatred that the audience projects. Whenever a man takes a public stand, the mostly feminist audience projects this anger and hatred of masculinity. They care little what the male speaker has to say, but are more interested in things like - is he single, wonder how he gets sex, is he a rapist, does he feel women are his inferior -- things like that.

The fact is most single men struggle very much getting sex, and most see prostitutes. For me it is a very vulnerable part of my life -- one that I need to keep private bc there are so many shame feelings and other complexes involved. If I don't have regular sex, it is almost impossible to do public speaking.

I think many other men are in a similar situation and that is why many men keep private and especially stay away from public speaking. It is not the fear of public speaking, but it is dealing with the hatred and anger that many project against male sexuality.

It's just exposure. I essentially cured it by working in sales and forcing myself into uncomfortable situations where public speaking was a necessity.

[Malo]

For public speaking I found it helps to feel knowledgeable and confident about the topic you are speaking about.

Imagine for a moment that you need to give a speech about a passion of yours.

I bet you would feel that you could speak forever, and the larger the audience the better.

So while not every topic is a passion of yours, try to 'make friends' with the topic and at least like it. Then you'll feel more comfortable on stage.

Also allow yourself to 'screw up' on stage, don't be stressed if your speech isn't perfect. Changes are you'll feel significantly more comfortable already after 2 minutes on stage.

[Khan]

When it comes to public speaking, I've found that it's helpful to internalize the thought that it's not your job to impress the audience or entertain them in any way. Instead, think of your public lecture as a way for the audience to learn something from you. The vast majority of people in the audience will be less knowledgeable on the subject matter than you. That's the reason why they came to listen to you in the first place.

Also, it's important to be well groomed and dressed sharp. This helps to build confidence and authority.

[MarkNordic]

I've given plenty of public speeches in my young life. I'm also an aspiring actor. I'll put a few thoughts here. Now mind you, what I'm going to say is going to be about giving an actual speech, like on a stage. But when you master that skill, speaking in front of a smaller group is going to be even easier.

1. The people are there for you. They are there to hear you speak. What you do with your time on the stage is completely up to you. You can and should be selfish about that time. Nobody but you has the right to say how that time should be used.

2. That said, your main goal should be to pass the message of your speech and minimalize the possibility of somebody misunderstanding you. Don't be afraid of pauses after a long sentence. The audience needs time to digest what you just said. Take your time. This of course requires a little home work too. Doesn't matter if it's actually writing down the speech and going through it (a bigger speech) or just taking a few seconds-minutes to think what you're going to say (just a casual expression of thoughts in front of a smaller audience.)

[Kieran]

What helps me is to focus on trying to deliver value through the content, gets my mind off feeling like I'm being judged.

[shameus_o'reaaly]

Unless they're a genuinely hostile audience (and I mean Al Sharpton at a KKK rally hostile) most people watching a speech want to see the speaker do well-after all, they turned up, they may have paid, they gave up two hours of their time. Scrutiny is uncomfortable, sure, but that's part of it why it's a good skill to learn.
I've done standup comedy a few times-the first one I thought my material would bomb or I'd get heckled. I was relieved when I didn't, and as it hasn't happened since I feel kind of dissappointed, since nobody challenges my jokes or material I deliver at Toastmasters or similar "the pleasures of being booed"
I can't say no man gets the ire you describe, but most people have a measure of sympathy for anyone who fucks up while speaking and put it down to pressure. If I drop a punchline that bombs or forget my speech, it's not me failing as a man.
Join Toastmasters if there's a branch near you-it's like training wheels for speaking to a group. Criticism is very soft-pedalled, more about how you can improve than what you did wrong. And do open-mic if possible-If you make them laugh once, it was a success, right?

[highcardace]

The amino acid L-Theanine is very helpful in getting a person to relax and focus. I have used L-Theanine in 200mg doses before in public speaking situations, but right now I have zero fear and anxiety about public speaking. So try L-Theanine, it is completely safe and is naturally found in green tea.

[WillOfTheD]

(02-27-2016 11:21 AM)Malo Wrote:  

Imagine for a moment that you need to give a speech about a passion of yours.

I bet you would feel that you could speak forever, and the larger the audience the better.

So while not every topic is a passion of yours, try to 'make friends' with the topic and at least like it. Then you'll feel more comfortable on stage.

As someone who went to Nationals for Extemporaneous Speaking, I couldn't agree more with this point.

Delve into something that piques your interest and expound on its relevancy within the limits of topicality. People may remember funny lines or anecdotes but if you can tell your audience why they should give a rat's behind about something, you've got a winner.

[Fortis]

Remember that you're the most powerful guy in the room because you're commanding all that attention. I would work from there. I am introverted as hell, but I actually enjoyed public speaking and giving presentations in high school and college.