[FunkCoup]

Guys, how many of you have been able to land a high caliber woman but through various circumstances not been able to call her your own? I went through a situation a few months ago where I had crazy good chemistry with a girl I liked, but lost her due to misunderstandings. I promised myself I'd shape up and never make the same mistakes I did, but I wonder how realistic it'd be to pull of the whole "Great Gatsby maneuver," minus the dying part. Any tips, suggestions and experiences you can relate? For the sake of context, I will include that I am in the process of completely revolutionizing my life for the better. I'm becoming a massive upgrade from my former self.

Edit: I should also include that I'm not just doing this exclusively for her. This was a wake up call that was a long time coming. Whether I see her again or not will have no bearing on whether I continue my progress. It'd just be nice to know that hard work can pay off, you know? That I can prove to more than just myself what I'm actually capable of.

[Ricardo735]

My instincts tell me that if she is no longer interested in you, then simply move on. As much as fiction might indicate otherwise, I don't know of any situations where trying to impress a specific girl with increasing status over a sustained period of time has ever succeeded, especially in the long term.

While you might see her as high calibre and close to your grasp, she is hardly the only person of that kind in the world.

Don't beat yourself up about having lost her - being able to release yourself from what appears to be "one-itis" will help a lot. Roosh wrote about the "abundance mentality" in Bang as a way past this.

By the sounds of it, you are using this as an opportunity to work on your inner game (so to speak), which is good, so long as your motivation for self-improvement is is in the right place.

Out of curiosity - what aspects of your life are you changing? Have you adopted a plan that will see incremental changes over a sustained period of time? Is there a way you can hold yourself accountable for your progress? Are your goals S.M.A.R.T.?

[kaotic]

You don't, you have her chase you and want you back.

You are the prize.

If you don't feel like you are, then start working on becoming a better prize.

Always move forward, never backward.

Knock that pussy off the pedestal immediately.

[FunkCoup]

You're becoming a massive upgrade of yourself.

Yet you still want the same old pussy, the old you fancied.

Why isn't your taste in women getting a re-up?

Because

You're more comfortable chasing former pussy that shot down the old you, instead of new better pussy that could well worship the new you.

You're massive upgrade needs to be internalised:
Mentally
Emotionally
Spiritually
Psychologically

Keep doing you & maybe she'll notice

Maybe she won't, but it won't matter when a sea of new poontang is made available to you from your hard work.

[FunkCoup]

(01-25-2016 12:30 PM)Ricardo735 Wrote:  

My instincts tell me that if she is no longer interested in you, then simply move on. As much as fiction might indicate otherwise, I don't know of any situations where trying to impress a specific girl with increasing status over a sustained period of time has ever succeeded, especially in the long term.

While you might see her as high calibre and close to your grasp, she is hardly the only person of that kind in the world.

Don't beat yourself up about having lost her - being able to release yourself from what appears to be "one-itis" will help a lot. Roosh wrote about the "abundance mentality" in Bang as a way past this.

By the sounds of it, you are using this as an opportunity to work on your inner game (so to speak), which is good, so long as your motivation for self-improvement is is in the right place.

Out of curiosity - what aspects of your life are you changing? Have you adopted a plan that will see incremental changes over a sustained period of time? Is there a way you can hold yourself accountable for your progress? Are your goals S.M.A.R.T.?

I'm going to the gym multiple times a week now, aiming for 5 days a week. I'm quitting cigarettes and porn. I am enrolled in a coding bootcamp which will allow me to get a new job that can pay upwards of six figures. I am looking to find new friends who are more social and into partying. Upping my wardrobe. Going out more. Reading up on game theory. Expanding my interests. Basically, I am doing everything in my power to make a winner out of myself.

I should adopt a more S.M.A.R.T approach to this. You are right in suggesting it.

[FunkCoup]

(01-25-2016 01:00 PM)1026 Wrote:  

You're becoming a massive upgrade of yourself.

Yet you still want the same old pussy, the old you fancied.

Why isn't your taste in women getting a re-up?

Because

You're more comfortable chasing former pussy that shot down the old you, instead of new better pussy that could well worship the new you.

You're massive upgrade needs to be internalised:
Mentally
Emotionally
Spiritually
Psychologically

Keep doing you & maybe she'll notice

Maybe she won't, but it won't matter when a sea of new poontang is made available to you from your hard work.

While I agree that I should be moving on, my time with her left me desiring a new caliber of woman. A couple weeks after we stopped talking, I met a total slut who I would've been all over had I not met the girl I was talking about. The old me would've been excited to smash easy pussy. The me after said girl? I couldn't hardly give a fuck. New girl wasn't good enough for me. Something about her energy was off. You could say my taste in women has gotten a re-up, as she had set the bar for my own standards much higher than they were. I did get new girl into my car by the end of the night, but I didn't even want to text her back a few days later.

"Keep doing you & maybe she'll notice"

This is exactly what I hope to happen, somewhere in the back of my mind,if for no other reason than to just prove to myself that I can get her back if I want to.

[FunkCoup]

(01-25-2016 12:43 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You don't, you have her chase you and want you back.

You are the prize.

If you don't feel like you are, then start working on becoming a better prize.

Always move forward, never backward.

Knock that pussy off the pedestal immediately.

Appreciating the wise words. Thanks.

[YoungAngel1]

The only time I could see this working is if she was totally in love with you, and broke up with you maybe because you cheated, or was just a total ass to her.

[kaotic]

(01-25-2016 04:54 PM)YoungAngel1 Wrote:  

The only time I could see this working is if she was totally in love with you, and broke up with you maybe because you cheated, or was just a total ass to her.

Thing is, if you fucked up, it's over if you come back. She'll want you on her terms. Meaning you'll lose most your frame AND she basically might have an idea in her head that she gets a hall pass and will fuck another guy.

Lose lose situation in my book.

If you cheat and get caught, walk away and never look back.

If you're an ass or treated her like shit, walk away and never look back. Reflect and change your views on life and women that are positively aimed.

[FunkCoup]

(01-25-2016 05:06 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(01-25-2016 04:54 PM)YoungAngel1 Wrote:  

The only time I could see this working is if she was totally in love with you, and broke up with you maybe because you cheated, or was just a total ass to her.

Thing is, if you fucked up, it's over if you come back. She'll want you on her terms. Meaning you'll lose most your frame AND she basically might have an idea in her head that she gets a hall pass and will fuck another guy.

Lose lose situation in my book.

If you cheat and get caught, walk away and never look back.

If you're an ass or treated her like shit, walk away and never look back. Reflect and change your views on life and women that are positively aimed.

Not to take away from the greater picture, but for perspective's sake, we weren't in a full on relationship. We were still in the limerence stages. I was so nice to her, but I wasn't a pussy about anything. Everything was going fine until I accidentally rawdogged her, and she wasn't the kind of girl who was ok with that. As for my view on women, I had some generalized doubts here and there, but there was not an ounce of self-professed misogyny in my mind.

You're obviously more experienced than me, Kaotic; so what would you say of this situation? ^

From my experience, I've found that if you're much higher SMV than a girl (or just high enough), she'll be apt to give it another shot if you a) didn't break her heart and b) show that you're a better man than you were before.

Anecdotes: Long time friend who I was in the friend zone with...I moved to California, came back a lot more confident and experienced...exhibited many IOI's.

FWB from 2013: I was stressed from projects due...we got into an argument. I basically kicked her out that day. Get the "I'm over you!" text. two years later I want to chill, and we do. Would've banged but I had developed a thing called standards for myself.

So I mean, I've never had an experience that showed that self-improvement and time aren't enough to get your foot back in the door.

Would you recommend a middle ground approach where,

if you see her: great
if she's interested: great
if we bang: great
if not: great
?

[Gustavus Adolphus]

How do you accidentally rawdog?

[PapayaTapper]

(01-25-2016 08:56 PM)Gustavus Adolphus Wrote:  

How do you accidentally rawdog?

Her "Hey...that's not my belly button!"

Him "Well that's ok, that aint my finger neither!"

[Sidney Crosby]

Improve yourself, doors/legs will open and you won't even desire this girl anymore

[FunkCoup]

(01-25-2016 08:56 PM)Gustavus Adolphus Wrote:  

How do you accidentally rawdog?

Phrasing. What I should've said was I put it in raw because the condoms I bought sucked, but that made her think I had an STD and was trying to get it in for pleasure without any regard for her wellbeing. You could say the accident involved was my not thinking it would be a problem, since I'm clean.

I'm trying to work on concision in my writing style and omission of irrelevant information.

[Windom Earle]

You lost her before the "accidental" raw salami insertion.

If she was that into you, she would've made an exception and possibly even welcomed it, instead of balking/ejecting.

[kaotic]

(01-25-2016 08:45 PM)FunkCoup Wrote:  

Not to take away from the greater picture, but for perspective's sake, we weren't in a full on relationship. We were still in the limerence stages. I was so nice to her, but I wasn't a pussy about anything. Everything was going fine until I accidentally rawdogged her, and she wasn't the kind of girl who was ok with that. As for my view on women, I had some generalized doubts here and there, but there was not an ounce of self-professed misogyny in my mind.

You're obviously more experienced than me, Kaotic; so what would you say of this situation? ^

Doesn't matter if it was a full or half relationship, you were STILL in a relationship.

You don't accidentally raw dog a chick, it either happens by choice or it doesn't. I don't care if it's in the heat of the moment.

What do you even mean from "self-profess misogyny" ?

Quote:

From my experience, I've found that if you're much higher SMV than a girl (or just high enough), she'll be apt to give it another shot if you a) didn't break her heart and b) show that you're a better man than you were before.

It's not her decision to give it another shot, it's yours. Having high SMV means you have the option to give girls another go, not the other way around.

Quote:

Anecdotes: Long time friend who I was in the friend zone with...I moved to California, came back a lot more confident and experienced...exhibited many IOI's.

FWB from 2013: I was stressed from projects due...we got into an argument. I basically kicked her out that day. Get the "I'm over you!" text. two years later I want to chill, and we do. Would've banged but I had developed a thing called standards for myself.

You stuck to your guns which is good, and then kicked her out. But why did you want to hangout with her 2 years later ? Especially since you didn't bang??

Quote:

So I mean, I've never had an experience that showed that self-improvement and time aren't enough to get your foot back in the door.

I'm not sure you get it, self improvement and increased SMV isn't for getting your foot BACK in the door. It's for getting your into NEW doors.

Quote:

Would you recommend a middle ground approach where,

if you see her: great YOU DON'T CARE BUT ARE POLITE
if she's interested: great YOU DON'T CARE BUT LET HER CHASE YOU
if we bang: great YOU DON'T CARE, DO A ONS OR SPIN HER
if not: great YOU DON'T CARE
?

You're too fixated one some bitch in your past that you "accidentally" raw dogged. She freaked out.

A woman whose totally attracted to you would love your seed in her, which is why they don't bother even asking you to put on a condom when you fuck them.

She's subconsciously rejecting your seed, or she has strong morals, ironic since she's spreading her legs for you.

[Vincent Chase]

I've never lost a girl for having sex with her without a condom. In fact I don't know anyone who has. It's usually the exact opposite to that where she has more attachment to you because you fucked her how nature tells you to fuck her with nothing in the middle between you and her.

Apply the no contact rule with all past flames. If she wants to see you she'll contact you, even sometimes 3-6 months later and you'll see her with added bonus of an alpha frame. It's happened to me. One thing to remember that if you do see her again (and this is what I learned from girl game) is that when she said she wants to meet you tell her that you're "not sure" and if you do meet with her the first thing to do as soon as you see her is a negative expression "you have a big chin"/"you have a weird nose". It makes her think that maybe she wasn't good enough for you in the first place. You'll end up banging her again in no time. It works every fucking time.

[FunkCoup]

[quote='kaotic' pid='1202806' dateline='1453838848']
[quote='FunkCoup' pid='1202213' dateline='1453772709']


Self-professed Misogyny: I don't think that many sexist things. Not making a judgement call on this, just something I've noticed. Maybe it matters, maybe it doesn't.

FWB: Thanks, I wanted to chill b/c I broke it off with my then gf and just wanted to get it in. She's not the same girl as the girl I'm friends with.

Rawdog situ: Interesting. I guess it makes sense. I guess why I'm fixated on this is because she's basically a unicorn. I give her an honest 8.5 to 9 in looks and compatibility, and she's only ever been in relationships since highschool. But then again, those are just her words and maybe I just shouldn't give a fuck.

The whole point about how she views me determines whether she'd let me hit it raw really drove the point home, so cool, thanks for the reply, man.

I would add another point to your list of why a girl won't go bare if fucking outside a committed relationship, and that's health consciousness. She was like deathly afraid of getting something.

[Dalaran1991]

Running damage control is way harder and pointless than simply jumping ship and hopping on a new one. A better one. That one

Have a fair-play mind with game. You already bang her, that's very good already. If for whatever reason you lose her, be a good sport and accept it. Carrying that baggage around makes it harder for you to game others, and waste your time. Like my old wing said when I got obsessed over this slamming petite brunette with long silky hair I banged once: "You waste your time. You learned to seduce her, you can seduce someone better than her"

At the time, looking at all the possible strategies to get her back, it was so damn intensive I said fuck it. A few months later I met a banging brunette with a tighter body who is now my girlfriend.

After a while you learn that all women are replaceable (except those you choose to bond with), so it doesn't make sense to fix, but rather replace. Your light bulb is dead, do you waste your evening trying to fix it or do you buy another one that cost 2$?

If you insist, there are ways to get the girls back. Personally though I've never seen a guy gain anything from it, except if it's the mother of your child or someone you truly deeply care for (which in itself is a burden)

[kaotic]

(01-27-2016 05:15 AM)FunkCoup Wrote:  

Self-professed Misogyny: I don't think that many sexist things. Not making a judgement call on this, just something I've noticed. Maybe it matters, maybe it doesn't.

Maybe the things you think about aren't sexist at all, society just makes you feel guilty for thinking "sexist things"

Quote:

FWB: Thanks, I wanted to chill b/c I broke it off with my then gf and just wanted to get it in. She's not the same girl as the girl I'm friends with.

Rawdog situ: Interesting. I guess it makes sense. I guess why I'm fixated on this is because she's basically a unicorn. I give her an honest 8.5 to 9 in looks and compatibility, and she's only ever been in relationships since highschool. But then again, those are just her words and maybe I just shouldn't give a fuck.

Still, you shouldn't be going back someone you've fucked. Unless you were specifically just fuck buddies.

This is the problem you're placing this "unicorn" high on a pedestal, she's a serial LTR dater, like you said, those are her words.

Quote:

The whole point about how she views me determines whether she'd let me hit it raw really drove the point home, so cool, thanks for the reply, man.

I would add another point to your list of why a girl won't go bare if fucking outside a committed relationship, and that's health consciousness. She was like deathly afraid of getting something.

It should hit home, and it's true, even girls I fucked with condoms on the first few dates eventually let me hit it raw from then on out.

That's fine to be afraid, I learned a VERY hard lesson about STD's and got a girl pregnant.

Wrap up and stay safe, like I said before, knock her off the pedestal immediately.