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Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?
#1

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Hey all,

Begriff's thread here: thread-53048...pid1194577 lead to the topic of open relationships so decided to create a new thread so as not to derail that thread. I actually did a search for threads on open relationships but I didn't find them helpful.

Why?

Because they all seemed to focus on "the girl" and I think in order to have a truly open relationship, you've got to be really secure with yourself, be happy with your life and have so many cool, exciting things going on, you won't even care what your chick is doing because you have options too.

How do I know this?

Because I've got two open girlfriends (for first time in my life, NOT fuck buddies or cheating) but actual girls I love and care about and yes, I will get jealous and needy. But it's been at times where I was unhappy with myself so it's forced me to look at my life to see what needs changing (lifestyle, job, money, etc) But it's been a great experience because it's forced me to step up my game and my life since when I'm truly living life with passion and purpose, whatever my girl is doing is a non-issue.

On a side note, I think the hottest girls will naturally have dudes constantly after them, actively gaming, throwing money, creepers stalking, orbiter friends confessing their love, alpha dudes trying to fuck, all of the above so by being "that dude" who can actually connect with them, give them orgasms, but also be non-needy and non-possessive, helps differentiate you from the pack.

So to my fellow open relationship brothers, what were your experiences? Pros/cons?

Thanks in advance
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#2

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Any girl that takes different dicks while in a relationship is emotionally damaged and should never procreate. See all the research on this forum where girls who expose themselves to various semen undergo changes in their brain chemistry (brain damage).

I'm not saying don't fuck them, but a relationship? you must be joking

two scoops
two genders
two terms
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#3

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Quote: (01-17-2016 09:16 AM)fucksong Wrote:  

by being "that dude" who can actually connect with them, give them orgasms, but also be non-needy and non-possessive, helps differentiate you from the pack.

If you are truly that dude she won't look elsewhere, and will be more likely to rationalise it away when you look elsewhere.

They who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety- Benjamin Franklin, as if you didn't know...
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#4

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Agree with Nomad and Roberto. Any girl who wants an open relationship just wants a beta to go home and cry to, but take dick on anytime she pleases. I went out on a date recently with a french chick. She told me she was in an open relationship. intrigued I asked the skank to divulge further.

She tells me her boyfriend lives in Paris and works all the time while she is out in Berlin as a "teacher", going out on 3 to 4 dates a week. Before I nexted her, i calmly explained to her how she uses this as an excuse to keep the hard working soft guy around, who will one day be successful, while she travels to other countries taking dick without consequences.

-CD
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#5

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Maybe this does not apply to you, having already two MLTRs, but this guy's specialty is Open Relationships:

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/12/2...beginners/
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#6

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Men cheat, women have affairs.

There is really no two ways about it, though I'm sure some outliers are possible. Men are able to bang other girls but never have an issue with their attachment to the one they love. Women on the other hand, are unable to do this. If they fuck other men while in a "committed" relationship then it means one of two things.

1.) They are damaged and unable to properly bond with a single man having no issue spreading to other men.

2.) They aren't actually committed to the man they are fucking around on and are only keeping him around for security/comfort.
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#7

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Speaking from limited experience (two open relationships of about 2 months), I think there is a third possibility for the type of woman that would have one:
3. Committed and healthy hoping that this will lead to committed relationship.

Both of my open relationships worked well (although I moved each time and ended them). I know that at least one of them dated a time or two, but even at the time, I was sure she wasn't taking dick. it was more pro forma dating to show me that she was OK with the relationship.

I will admit that neither girl was, for me, a candidate for marriage. Being the needy, beta that I am trying to recover from, the only way I was able to push for this would be that I had other girls and didn't care so much if these women said "No, I'm out of here.". My $.02.

"I remember reading an article from the NY Times, where women made significantly more money than their husbands - and one wife was like, "I made 7 figures this year and he stayed home, I'm not sucking his dick" - WIA
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#8

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

^ this sounds more like you and these girls were just casually dating, not in any kind of committed relationship. In that situation dating around is to be expected as night of you are serious about eachother or have any real reservations - just "seeing where it goes."

OP I think is more about being in a committed relationship (think boyfriend/girlfriend) while also seeing other people and also having other boyfriends/girlfriends.
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#9

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Go back to reddit with this garbage.



Oh and [Image: troll.gif]

"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
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#10

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

I'm not really ok with stirring other blokes custard, and dating a "box of assorted creams"...

If she's taking cock elsewhere, then I bin her.
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#11

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

This works one of two ways...

1. You're dating a chick. She gets bored, and decides she wants a "discreet open relationship." Meaning you two can live together, hold yourself out as a couple, but she's allowed to fuck other dudes. In theory, you're allowed to fuck other chicks, but her vajayjay is far more in demand than your cock. You're basically getting cuckoled, as your girl gets her physical needs elsewhere while you're her emotional tampon. Awesome.

2. You're a player and have a bunch of friends with benefits. You make it clear that you're not really looking to "date" anyone, but you're cool with banging. You don't let chicks live with you, buy them shit, or hold themselves out as your girlfriend. These aren't really "open relationships" because you don't take these girls out to dinner, on vacation, or meet their families.

Then there's the whole polyamory thing, but that's an entirely different thread.
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#12

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

I think "open relationship" is a vague term that can mean different things depending on who you ask. Probably best to get some clarity on how OP defines an open relationship.

On one end of the spectrum, there is the guy being cucked as Hank described in 1) in his post, on the other end is a guy who is open and unapologetic about dating multiple women. I don't think the latter is such a bad option.
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#13

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

All cons no pros.

The "open relationship" a player wants is not a relationship. It's fuck buddies/friends with benefits. It's sure as hell not "I'll do the yard work and have dinner on the table when you get back from riding that bartenders baby arm" open relationship.

The open relationship may work for a very small percentage of guys, but the vast majority just get the cuck end of the stick. A women can not fully respect a man in a committed relationship if she is getting her supply of orgasms elsewhere.

Do not confuse the cuckholds paradise of an open relationship with the players paradise of friends with benefits/fuck buddies.


So let's think about two scenarios:

1. Bill is in an open relationship with a sexy fun girl. It's football Sunday and bill want to watch the game, so Alice goes over to hang out with Jake, that cool guy she met recently. Bill has a few beers, grills up some food, does some small errands around the house during the slow games and half times. Bills pretty excited, because Alice has a hot new friend and Bill is going to try to spit some game next time Alice actually invites her over. Alice shows up just in time for dinner. Alice tells Bill about Jake, but withholds the steamy details. Alice and Bill have a nice relaxing night on the couch with some glasses of wine. They go to bed, and Bill puts the moves on her. She tells him to be fast, because she is too tired.

2. Alice doesn't like football so she heads over to Jakes house. Within an hour, Jake has Alice curled up into a ball with his hands Dominantly wrapped around her neck. Alice Is screaming "I'm you're dirty little slut" into his ear as she nears her first orgasm. Minutes later Jake forces her to her knees and with an eagerly opened mouth she swallows his load. Alice checks the time and realizes she has a enough time to go for round 2 before she has to be home for dinner. She was wantingly sucks Jake until he is hard enough to continue....eventually Alice leaves and Jake pops a beer, turns on the football game, returns some missed texts messages, and post a steamy write up in the "I just got laid" thread.

Would you rather be Bill or Jake?

God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dick licked

The Original Emotional Alpha
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#14

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Also, from a power perspective, if your girl is seen around town banging a bunch of dudes, it gives off the image that you're not in charge of your own household. You know what happened when other men banged King Henry's wife? He put them to death.

It's fine to show up at the bar with a different chick every night. However, if you're always showing up to the bar with the same chick, and she's seen around town with 20 other different dudes, it significantly lowers your status in the community. Behind your back, we're saying "Jake blew his load on Alice's face last night, and now Bill's out to dinner with her, hahaha! What's wrong with that guy?"
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#15

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

I did in my early twenties with a girl who was sort of like a proto-Paris Hilton: Super rich, very spoiled, and exhibitionist. She was also at an all-girls college and "experimenting"with women.

When you meet a girl who has been with three girls on her dorm hall, you pretty much know from the get-go you're not getting wife material and are probably getting someone a bit loony.

How loony? Well, I wrote about her on a thread about psychiatry you can find here. That's how loony.

There's nothing wrong with dating such women so long as "dating" really means hooking up. Besides the obvious benefits, I found it amusing to hear her various sex stories -- all of which were always blamed on "manic depression."

The problem comes when men want to play Captain Save-A-Ho. Often such women are grandly dramatic and will play on your heartstrings. Don't let them. If you do, you become the male version of the pathetic women who try to reform bad boys because they inexplicably see good in them. A cliche, in other words.
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#16

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

In the words of a great philosopher:





Quote: (01-18-2016 12:00 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I did in my early twenties with a girl who was sort of like a proto-Paris Hilton: Super rich, very spoiled, and exhibitionist. She was also at an all-girls college and "experimenting"with women.

When you meet a girl who has been with three girls on her dorm hall, you pretty much know from the get-go you're not getting wife material and are probably getting someone a bit loony.

I'm hesitant to completely write off girls who went to all women colleges but man, approach with caution. If they full embraced the 'lifestyle' run for the hills.
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#17

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Neither man or woman needs to be in an "open relationship" to enjoy the benefits of an open relation ship.

I've Never opened a relationship, however I've gotten mine on the side which... Was great, and I've been with plates who have a man and you can pump and send them on there way which is also great.

I'd rather a girl try really really hard to make it look like she's not getting it on the side / making me her side but you sooner or later find out.

So
Pros; fun, cheap, easy, worry free, minimal investment per bang

Cons; cheap, easy, low return on bang, some one else hit that this morning (I don't even wanna put my mouth on my girl when I'm done with her)

the ones you mess around with or behind you probably don't "love" them all that much any way.
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#18

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

I did once, years ago. NEVER again. Hank Moody's no.1 option basically sums it up for me and I imagine a lot of guys getting into it:

Quote:Quote:

1. You're dating a chick. She gets bored, and decides she wants a "discreet open relationship." Meaning you two can live together, hold yourself out as a couple, but she's allowed to fuck other dudes. In theory, you're allowed to fuck other chicks, but her vajayjay is far more in demand than your cock. You're basically getting cuckoled, as your girl gets her physical needs elsewhere while you're her emotional tampon. Awesome.

Would I do it again? No, not even now.

"As wolves among sheep we have wandered"
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#19

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Any girl that brings that shit up is automatically downgraded to plate or nexted.

It's code for "hey I want to fuck other dudes but I want your permission to do it"

Any normal woman would move on from you if you said you don't want a monogamous relationship. (Unless you're doing it lowkey on the side)

There might be women who may agree in the beginning, but that's just in the hopes of being able to win you over and lock you down.

I'd say 99% of the time any girl that's down for an open relationship is getting dicked down elsewhere.
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#20

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

I have a friend who is in an open relationship. He told me that it was great. They established some boundries early on and it seems to work for them. They go to sex-parties together, where both fuck whoever they want to fuck. When they party in normal clubs, sometimes she hooks up with somebody and vice versa.

Not my cup of tea, but roll with whatever floats your boat...
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#21

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Pro
Being in an open relationship(s) with multiple women at once.

Con
Being in an open relationship with only woman at a time.
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#22

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Quote: (01-19-2016 07:17 AM)1026 Wrote:  

Being in an open relationship(s) with multiple women at once.

Isn't that what this sub forum is about?

“Our great danger is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” ― Rollo Tomassi
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#23

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Quote: (01-19-2016 08:39 AM)the Thing Wrote:  

Quote: (01-19-2016 07:17 AM)1026 Wrote:  

Being in an open relationship(s) with multiple women at once.

Isn't that what this sub forum is about?

Why be in a relationship with multiple women ?

That just sounds like one big pain in the ass and eventually someone will get jealous when the right girl or guy comes along.

Managing a relationship with one girl is more than enough.

Why not just have a harem of women, spin plates, and still stay independent.

The last thing I want to do is be anything near a cuck, the women I sleep with aren't going to be sleeping with other men (openly to my knowledge at least).

If you need a deep relationship with multiple girls, I'd say there are some inner game issues at hand.
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#24

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Quote: (01-19-2016 11:35 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

Quote: (01-19-2016 08:39 AM)the Thing Wrote:  

Quote: (01-19-2016 07:17 AM)1026 Wrote:  

Being in an open relationship(s) with multiple women at once.

Isn't that what this sub forum is about?

Why be in a relationship with multiple women ?

That just sounds like one big pain in the ass and eventually someone will get jealous when the right girl or guy comes along.

Managing a relationship with one girl is more than enough.

Why not just have a harem of women, spin plates, and still stay independent.

The last thing I want to do is be anything near a cuck, the women I sleep with aren't going to be sleeping with other men (openly to my knowledge at least).

If you need a deep relationship with multiple girls, I'd say there are some inner game issues at hand.

Oh. I was thinking of "open relationship with multiple women" as spinning plates.

“Our great danger is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” ― Rollo Tomassi
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#25

Open relationships? Who's had them here. Pros/cons?

Quote: (01-19-2016 11:37 AM)the Thing Wrote:  

Quote: (01-19-2016 11:35 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

Quote: (01-19-2016 08:39 AM)the Thing Wrote:  

Quote: (01-19-2016 07:17 AM)1026 Wrote:  

Being in an open relationship(s) with multiple women at once.

Isn't that what this sub forum is about?

Why be in a relationship with multiple women ?

That just sounds like one big pain in the ass and eventually someone will get jealous when the right girl or guy comes along.

Managing a relationship with one girl is more than enough.

Why not just have a harem of women, spin plates, and still stay independent.

The last thing I want to do is be anything near a cuck, the women I sleep with aren't going to be sleeping with other men (openly to my knowledge at least).

If you need a deep relationship with multiple girls, I'd say there are some inner game issues at hand.

Oh. I was thinking of "open relationship with multiple women" as spinning plates.

That's generally termed a harem here or just spinning plates.

OP is talking about having 2 open relationships with girlfriends.

Not just girls he's fucking, which takes things to a whole another level.

That's along the lines of "polyamory" relationships which is another subject all together, basically to me it's cucking.

Since a woman's pussy is in more demand than a guys dick in the open relationship.
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