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The beginning of what I hope will be a life changing 18 months
#1

The beginning of what I hope will be a life changing 18 months

TL;DR I’m not happy, I haven’t been happy for a long time, and I’m about to devote an entire year and a half to changing that. This post will basically be a quick look at my current life situation, my goals, and the strategies I will be using to achieve those goals. Any advice or feedback, positive or negative, is welcomed and greatly appreciated.



I’m gonna just gonna dive right into it. Early childhood abuse and abandonment led to the creation of a massive, fragile ego and narcissism as a coping strategy. Textbook case. My narcissism was actually pretty effective; I may have been completely self-absorbed and delusional but I enjoyed early success throughout high school with comically little effort in everything including grades, status, and girls. Anyways, I’ll spare you the life story but what it boils down to is that at some point before my 20th birthday my life imploded, my ego was completely destroyed, and without it shielding me from my overwhelming inner pain I simply fell apart. What followed was severe depression, self-imposed social isolation, struggle with addictions to gambling, alcohol, and risky, impulsive behaviors in general, and good ol’ inceldom.

This is gonna sound retarded but going from zero friendships, dead broke and a perceived hopeless future to being a well put-together 21 year old making serious bank did absolutely nothing to help my inner game. If anything, the massive gap between how others saw me and how I saw myself drove me even further over the edge. I squandered away most of the money and the methods used to make it can't ever be replicated but the good news is I did leave myself with a paid off piece of real estate worth about 200K that's generating roughly 1.5k monthly. I’m also a pretty intelligent, introspective dude and I’ve spent literally thousands of hours reading whatever realtalk I could find online and more recently, lurking the manosphere so I’d like to think I have a decent body of knowledge internalized. This means that I’m objectively in a pretty damn good situation for a young mid 20’s dude and that the sky’s the limit if I can just get my shit together. For the next 18 months, doing that will be my one and only mission.

First things first, I gotta quit boozing. My nutrition, diet, and workout regimen is actually solid but I drink so heavily and so often and my sleep quality is so terrible that I can’t get past having a slightly above average physique. As of right now I binge drink roughly twice a week, going through about a liter of vodka each night. The plan for the first six months is to quit cold turkey, focus on fitness, and start rebuilding my sexual confidence. As of right now I can’t even maintain an erection while I’m fucking a chick unless I have viagra coarsing through my veins. It’s embarrassing. I have a lot of low T symptoms so I had some blood work done, my levels seem low for my age but apparently not clinically low. Don’t really know how to interpret them but my Total T is 537 and Free T is 13.6. Anyways, to get the ball rolling I just leased an apartment with pretty ideal logistics in a SEA city where my SMV is minimum a 9. I’m also within walking distance to a solid weight room as well as a decent western boxing gym. I’m praying that six months of sticking to this program will do wonders for my inner game and physique opening the door to potential bang/flag missions all over Asia for the following six months after that.

If the first 12 months go according to plan, the next stop would be a six month stint in Europe. I do have some language skills in a country popular with vacationing Eurosluts so I could potentially spend a big chunk of time there striving for fluency in the language, collecting flags, and living cheaply. An added bonus is that I bought a high-end camera a few years ago and could easily churn out some flattering DHV pictures during my travels that I can then leverage into a decent passive online pussy stream so I’d be able to focus purely on money as soon as I return. I think everything I’ve laid out is doable, within reach, and that I can actually turn my life around. I feel like I just need to piece my ego back together using healthy, non-pathological coping strategies over the next 18 months and come back home to a fresh start and everything else will fall into place.

Thanks for reading, finding and binging on this forum has been one of the best things that ever happened to me.
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#2

The beginning of what I hope will be a life changing 18 months

Good idea, you have managed to take a step back, slow down and evaluate yourself. That's a great first step.

If you are aware that you are drinking too much, you can stop it. It doesn't sound like it's at the point where you are an actual alcoholic yet.

At the end of the day, changing yourself is all about being resolute. You may have to wait 2/3 months to see visual changes, but once you see them, you get addicted to it and keep striving to improve.

What industry are you in by the way? And I assume the language you speak is Spanish?

Lastly, I'm not qualified to give drinking advice really. But I guess the best way to stop is either just to say 'no more', or to lower your alcohol intake progressively.
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#3

The beginning of what I hope will be a life changing 18 months

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