[Georges89]

Hi guys,

just wanted to start a thread on organisation, messiness/tidiness, and generally structuring ones life.

Looking at my own habits, I find it hard to stay personally on top of things. Whether that be, washing and drying my socks and boxers at an appropriate time each week, or washing and ironing my shirts at an appropriate time, I find those two things hard for example. Week by week, there are days (as bad as it sounds) where I don't have clean boxers to wear or clean shirts, I will iron my shirt again I wore a few days ago and go to work.

Then its keeping my apartment clean in general. I find it hard - and I never have - been one of those people whose living area can stay clean all the time. I let mess pile up before I do big weekly clean ups. Although it seems I spend half my life cleaning, and it just seems inefficient. There are probably 12 year olds that can keep their room clean better then I can, but its as if I lack a basic ability to keep things clean and tidy.

I basically suck at domestic duties: keeping my flat/room clean, washing/ironing my clothes at appropriate times, hoovering my room/changing the bedsheets consistently. I do change them more or less weekly, but again, there is no system in place.

I leave food to go off in the fridge because I buy food and then eat out in the evenings and don't budget effectively.

These are the main 'gripes'. I suppose I am not talented at forward planning. I pay bills late, I go on holidays late, I find it hard to manage situations and find coordinating things complicated sometimes.

Is there anyone else that suffers from the 'logistical' side of life or is it just me?

I am very artistic/left brained character btw, I've never been a functional maths type that is naturally well organised.

Looking forward to hearing thoughts and any advice you may have.

Thanks

[redbeard]

As a traditional right brain/logical type, any advice I give will likely go by the wayside. I have always been organized and come from a long line of clean freaks.

It seems that your issues are much deeper than lack of organization. It might help to start taking baby steps. Choose one of the following and try to make it an automatic habit. One step at a time!

-Make your bed in the morning
-Take 10 minutes to clean up at the end of the day
-Cook one meal a day for yourself. Then two. Then all.
-Aim to show up 15 minutes to every appointment
-Keep a calendar

The list goes on forever.

These are long term habits so don't worry if you don't do it. I still struggle with cleaning my bathroom because it annoys the fuck out of me. But my kitchen? Spotless.

If you need help with financial planning, "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" by Ramit Sethi is an excellent read.

[Georges89]

Thanks for the advice redbeard.

A lot of it does come down to implementing consistent habits, and I suppose perhaps 70-80% (give or take) of my problems could be eliminated, if I was to carry out daily tasks, such as cleaning for 10 minutes in the morning and evening, and scheduling time to carry out my domestic duties.

Its kind of simple when I read what you are saying and it makes total sense. I suppose my life is just very unstructured, and I don't hold my self accountable to do things daily, or set time on the weekends to do my laundry etc. I suppose a lot of it comes down to discipline, responsibility and holding down habits, and of course, procrastination.

I find given my above issues, balancing that on top of a busy and demanding job makes life untenable sometimes. Its like I live in a state of semi squalor outside of work during the week sometimes, and I just about manage to get up to work looking clean - hell - today I didn't even have a shower or shave, I didn't have time as I didn't want to be late for work. I woke up late and snoozed till I had 20 minutes to rush out my house and iron a shirt.

Perhaps I am suffering from a bit of depression now winter has settled in and the days are getting shorter. I am not sure if its directly related but I have certainly noticed that the last few weeks/month or so that I have found it harder to stay organised. Its weird writing this now, its almost as if, I am barely functioning come to think of it. Well, that's an exaggeration but realising all of this now is somewhat shocking..

[LeBeau]

Check out the book "Getting Things Done" by David Allen.

[The Lizard of Oz]

Read this post by Nemencine about habit formation, and follow its advice to the letter.

The only way to change a whole complex web of habits -- which is what you are talking about -- is slowly and one step at a time by forming new habits, as Nemencine describes below. There is really no other way; trying to do it in one fell swoop is almost certain to fail.

Again: read the post below carefully, and follow it. In your case, start with just a single task -- just one, and it doesn't matter what it is; let's say, you vacuum your floor once a week, or whatever. But do it fanatically, every week same time, no matter how you feel, rain or shine. Then once you've built a new habit for some time, keep it and add another one. And so on.

(06-05-2014 06:25 AM)Nemencine Wrote:  

Habit. Habit formation. There is no other cure. Habit formation = auto-piloting

I am guessing you know this already. As such, your problem is not knowledge, your problem is implementation. This is true for a lot of things in life. Even picking up women.

So, how do you establish habit formation?

You choose something that is easy to do, and then do it repeatedly, over and over again. To build the force of habit.

I dont care what it is. It could be anything. It doesnt matter. Just something that is easy, then setup a time for it, and repeat it everyday for a month. Every day.

Whenever you break this rule, start all over again. Repeat this until you generate complete consistency for a solid month. Trust me, if you cannot do something that is thoroughly easy, and do it everyday at a specific time for a month, you wont be able to do something difficult or complex at an allotted time, everyday, for a month either.

This is the key.

If you cannot be bothered to run this exercise, then you can simply forget it, because nothing will change.

The reason why most people fail in follow-through with their goals and objective is because they are trying to do two things at once: They are trying to (1) accomplish difficult tasks, and (2) they are trying to establish habit formation at the same time. This is why they fail. If you are not an already disciplined person, this multi-pronged approach(goals + habit) will task your willpower beyond its limits; hence, failure. Better to create habit -- as a foundation, and then slowly stack the difficult task on top of that strong foundation.

For example, here is some people's new year resolution: Go to the gym everyday, exercise for 2 hours, and eat healthy. Most likely, they will fail to accomplish this because they are trying to accomplish a difficult task and create a habit at the same time. That is why they fail after the initial enthusiasm has died.

How can they succeed? Simply this way: The first thing they should do is just go to the gym first and exercise, then after consistency with that; they should then increase the range of exercise and time to 2 hours... then, after consistency with that, change their diet. One step at a time. Instead of trying to do all 3 at the same time. Embedded in that is the subject of segmenting your task into mini-tasks. Also, doing your task at the same time, every day, creates a pattern, which builds momentum. Momentum is harder to stop.

This why it is paramount to focus on habit formation first. Set up an easy task, and went about doing it repeatedly to get into the groove of habit formation... this will give you the mentality to then be able to setup a difficult task and do it repeatedly. You lay the foundation, then build upon it.

Another thing is goal setting: If you think you can accomplish 3 things per day. Cut it in half and do 1.5 things a day instead... and do it consistently, day in, day out for a month. Do not go over and below that 1.5 things per day, regardless of how strong or weak you feel. This kind of consistency is critical. Be strict about it. I cannot emphasis this enough. If you are feeling like a million bucks and think you can take on the world and do 9 things that day, dont do it: stick to that pattern of 1.5 things per day. Why? If you can control your feel good moods and stick to a plan; you will be able to control your bad, lethargic moods and stick to a plan. This is the core of auto-piloting. This is mastery. This also trains your mental discipline and teaches you patience. Trust me, the day will come when you will be able to do those 9 things per day; you will eventually build to that level. One essential part of discipline is being able to tolerate those small baby steps. Be patient, and take your time.

regards,

Nemencine

p.s. a good book is called "the disciplined life" by richard taylor. (dated, christian; but effective.you are not interested in the christian preachings, but the lessons inherent in there.) I am sure you can find the PDF somewhere online.

[Bon Scott]

(10-21-2015 12:51 PM)Georges89 Wrote:  

Hi guys,

just wanted to start a thread on organisation, messiness/tidiness, and generally structuring ones life.

Looking at my own habits, I find it hard to stay personally on top of things. Whether that be, washing and drying my socks and boxers at an appropriate time each week, or washing and ironing my shirts at an appropriate time, I find those two things hard for example. Week by week, there are days (as bad as it sounds) where I don't have clean boxers to wear or clean shirts, I will iron my shirt again I wore a few days ago and go to work.

Then its keeping my apartment clean in general. I find it hard - and I never have - been one of those people whose living area can stay clean all the time. I let mess pile up before I do big weekly clean ups. Although it seems I spend half my life cleaning, and it just seems inefficient. There are probably 12 year olds that can keep their room clean better then I can, but its as if I lack a basic ability to keep things clean and tidy.

I basically suck at domestic duties: keeping my flat/room clean, washing/ironing my clothes at appropriate times, hoovering my room/changing the bedsheets consistently. I do change them more or less weekly, but again, there is no system in place.

I leave food to go off in the fridge because I buy food and then eat out in the evenings and don't budget effectively.

These are the main 'gripes'. I suppose I am not talented at forward planning. I pay bills late, I go on holidays late, I find it hard to manage situations and find coordinating things complicated sometimes.

Is there anyone else that suffers from the 'logistical' side of life or is it just me?

I am very artistic/left brained character btw, I've never been a functional maths type that is naturally well organised.

Looking forward to hearing thoughts and any advice you may have.

Thanks

sounds to me like your'e a normal, single bloke.