[The Man w/ the Golden Gun]

Setting-College Frat Party

We just won in beer pong, and of course I sunk the game winner. She went on about how inexperienced she is about beer pong, but how competitive she was. "Good, that'll serve you well!" I told her with a hint of condescension. We ended up talking on the couch about her (would it really be anything else) and I continued to riff on her for her spunk and competitiveness and how she got a "trainer" for her gym workouts. "Look at those biceps! Flex....anytime now."
"You could be my bodyguard, but only if you know how to mean mug. Let's see it."
I'm sure many of you have seen this routine before.

She mentioned she read a lot. Bingo.

"I've got a freaking library upstairs in my room-why don't you come check them out and see what you like?"

And of course she comes. We were in my room discussing psychology and body language (What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro was the topic), and I was showing her how important the feet are in reading body language. In doing so I went to close the door (which I forgot to do initially). And she agreed how important it was, and how she got a negative vibe when I turned my feet away from her.

After more flirting she told me to "not get the wrong idea, and she intended on walking back to her dorm." She had been talking about this with her sorority sisters earlier but they had all *mysteriously left* Heh. But I told her that I respected her decision. Beta?

It was at that time I stated to her "I want to make out with you" and she agreed-we made out for a minute. She said she didn't want to be Eskimo sisters with girls in her sorority. I knew it was a shit test. And even though I've read up on how to handle this particular shit test, I blurted out,

"Oh, of course not!"



Dang it I KNOW that simpering beta is not the way to go about it, but that's how it came out at the moment.

Something closer to "One billion served!" would have done better of course.

Overall, I didn't get the feeling that this chick was DTF. But she was very much into me, dropping verbal and physical IOIs and grabbing me to put my hands around her in public.

She asked me to walk her back to her dorm, and I said that I'd walk her halfway. At the end, I told her to "come here," and we embraced. I attempted to kiss her again, but I got the cheek.

Someone mentioned that the cheek turn is the most awkward thing that can happen, but I didn't really get that feeling. I just kissed her cheek and looked into her eyes as she followed...

"You get a hug. But text me..."

Cockblocked by logistics and her non-DTFness is the excuse I want to use, but the reality perhaps is that there are several beta things I said-I probably cockblocked myself. Your thoughts and advice? My initial thought is that I need to kill the automatic beta, or at least suppress him. In any case, I'll be setting up day two...

[Akwesi]

You seem to already have a pretty good understanding of what happened. You were doing well, but had too many beta leaks like "I respect your decision" and "I want to make out with you." It actually sounds like her anti-slut defense was pretty weak and might have been overcome. You don't mention how drunk she was, which is actually a key factor that has to be considered as well. Maybe you pulled her to your room a little early.

At this stage, however, I'm not too hopeful about this girl. A hug close at the end of a frat party is not good. Sounds like friendzone (most likely) or, if there is any continuation at all, it will be with her as the dominant party with rules, time tables, and a consent form.

[Remington]

Well, you got her back to the room. After she said the "don't want to give you the wrong idea" line, just laugh and pull her in for the kiss. Sounds like she didn't put up much of a defense. You could have gotten with her if you pushed through it. Sometimes, the best response to those kinds of "shit tests" is to not say say anything. Laugh it off or give her a smirk and continue to make out with her.

[The Man w/ the Golden Gun]

Said twice that she had enough to drink for the night. In any case, I didn't find myself pedestalizing her or being invested in her at all, which is a step up from before. Seeing if she's going out tonight, but her answer doesn't matter because I'm going out tonight anyways.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Gmac]

Sounds like you just need to find a way to get her on a date and to later get her alone again. She was feeling you, but you didn't have nearly enough chemistry or "comfort" built. Get to know her, maybe you'll like her. In any event, these are not situations to feel bad about. You are not always going to be the "one night stand champion." You younger guys gotta realize it's okay to take it slow, even in college. I'd say based on her reaction that as long as you play "fuck up avoidance" and get a chance to see her again you'll seal the deal within one or two dates. When you get shit-tests like the "eskimo sister" line just ignore it like you never heard it at all. That's how you pass.

I think you're overreacting, which is okay. Just learn from the experience and you'll eventually be able to gauge a girl's interest and when you should hold off until the next time you see her to escalate. Sometimes you won't get that shot, but that's life.