[MalibuPad]

Met a hot 26 year old Asian on Tinder...was pretty excited as I'm 41 and haven't been having as much luck lately with the young girls. Took her to watch the fireworks at a secret beach, she drank an entire bottle of wine, and I got the best BJ of my life (I think). She got drunk and emotional (nearly passed out after) and I had to drive her home without getting the bang. Was surprised to hear from her the next morning.

Shortly after, I take her to an expensive restaurant she asked to go to (after she changed plans from daytime beach hangout). Back to my place she was not into me at all. She started complaining about needing to move and doesn't have enough money for a deposit. She asked if I would give her $300 to help her. This nearly left me speechless and I was not sure I wanted to go for the notch anymore. But I figured I'd fuck with her and promise the money when I get back in town after this weekend. She still was not seeming like she wanted to fuck but eventually we did and it was pretty great. Got another BJ afterwards just to see if she would...also great.

I guess my question is what would you guys do in that type of situation and how exactly do I deal with her expecting to get paid next time she thinks we are to hang out. My feeling was I'd just ghost her and eventually block her or even call her out on being a pro or whatever when we were supposed to be dating/hooking up/etc...I'd also love to nail this chick again but I'm thinking just be happy with the freebies I already got and next her.

[JayJuanGee]

(07-07-2016 09:11 PM)MalibuPad Wrote:  

Met a hot 26 year old Asian on Tinder...was pretty excited as I'm 41 and haven't been having as much luck lately with the young girls. Took her to watch the fireworks at a secret beach, she drank an entire bottle of wine, and I got the best BJ of my life (I think). She got drunk and emotional (nearly passed out after) and I had to drive her home without getting the bang. Was surprised to hear from her the next morning.

Shortly after, I take her to an expensive restaurant she asked to go to (after she changed plans from daytime beach hangout). Back to my place she was not into me at all. She started complaining about needing to move and doesn't have enough money for a deposit. She asked if I would give her $300 to help her. This nearly left me speechless and I was not sure I wanted to go for the notch anymore. But I figured I'd fuck with her and promise the money when I get back in town after this weekend. She still was not seeming like she wanted to fuck but eventually we did and it was pretty great. Got another BJ afterwards just to see if she would...also great.

I guess my question is what would you guys do in that type of situation and how exactly do I deal with her expecting to get paid next time she thinks we are to hang out. My feeling was I'd just ghost her and eventually block her or even call her out on being a pro or whatever when we were supposed to be dating/hooking up/etc...I'd also love to nail this chick again but I'm thinking just be happy with the freebies I already got and next her.

Yeah... sounds like a bit of a strange situation, but it really doesn't exactly sound like pay to play, but maybe more like the chick wants a bit of a sugar daddy.... and maybe if she is really hot, then she is able to get that (and expects it)?


My tactic is usually to evade and avoid topics that involve me making substantial payments for things for chicks, so I usually would not agree to making any kind of payment merely in order to get a fuck...

Like you, if I were to make an apparent promise that I did not intend to keep, then you likely gotta start coming up with excuses to get away from the chick and stop thinking about banging her again... but then again, it can be a bit of a challenge (as you seem to indicate) for a guy in his early 40s to get decent chicks in their mid 20s that are also otherwise decently attractive, etc... like a 15 years difference for you too.

I know other guys suggest that it is easy, but depending on your location, in the states, it can be a bit of a challenge (I am in my late 40s so I have a bit of personal experience in that arena, too)

On the other hand a few hundred here and there on a chick that you could be regularly banging may not be a bad deal, if you thought that you would be able to rely on the chick at all... which you indicated that you have some questions regarding the level of her commitment or reliance, so you may need to consider that, too.

For example, with my current girlfriend that is around 14 years younger than me (been with her for about a year and a half), I am regularly paying for her to attend events etc, and some of the payments really add up to hundreds of dollars in a month. Even though sometimes, she buys me food and gets me other gifts, sometimes, I feel quite a bit of financial expenditures , even though they are frequently joint activities.

$300 seems quite a lot for a girl that you just met, and the expense is her personal expense is not even for any kind of joint activity, but instead seems to be a direct hand out to her personal living expenses, and seems beyond what I would usually do for any chick that I don't know for quite a while. If I put out that kind of money then I would make sure that there are various ties.. but yeah, that could scare her away too.. and how you play it can cause both of you to be moving on.. which may not necessarily be a bad deal.

[XPQ22]

Sounds like semi-pro, but may not consciously be semi-pro, or in denial. American women in their 20s are so self-absorbed and entitled these days that I would hardly put any silly request past them, even for a guy they just met.

One of my plate's has a new roommate is in her late 20s, and I've probably talked to her for all of ten minutes over the past week. The other day my girl says her roommate was wondering if I could help move a bunch of heavy furniture up to her room (for free of course.) Bitch I don't even know you, I'm not moving 200 pound pieces of furniture up three flights of stairs just because you happen to live in the same apartment and you talked to me one time.

It's common for them to misinterpret men not wanting to provide them with money and favors for nothing as "rudeness" and don't actually conceptualize personal boundaries very well. "That guy I talked to in class wouldn't come over and shovel out my car? What an asshole."

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Tripped out thing is (though she would never tell you), your girl probably volunteered you. Otherwise, she should have shot the idea down for the get go.

[Vaun]

These girls are fun because they put out as you lead them on to nothing. Too many guys would just open the wallet, and she is banking on whether thats you. She'll run the course with you attempting to do this. Just be careful with allowing her into your home. Just dangle the carrot and see how many times you can bang her before she gets wise to it.

[XPQ22]

(07-08-2016 11:35 AM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  

Tripped out thing is (though she would never tell you), your girl probably volunteered you. Otherwise, she should have shot the idea down for the get go.

Yeah, no doubt!

She texted me last night "So...guess who ended up helping move the dresser"

[AboveAverageJoe]

Sounds like she is used to being a kept woman. You are probably going to have difficulty gaming this chick. She just sees you as a wallet. People don't realize that women would rather fuck a good looking trick rather than a bad one but it should be obvious. That said, every sex worker still has at least one dick servicing her on the side. The fact that she asked you for money beforehand is pretty telling. Chick sees you as an ATM and not the good kind either.
When working women ask me a question like that my answer is "Do I look like I need to pay for pussy?"
They know the answer is no. I would be offended if a ho ever saw me as a trick.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Furthermore, NEVER try to "game" the aforementioned chick. At best, you create an entitled princess who barters her sexuality to the highest bidder and at worst she views you as John and will turn the sex faucet off the minute that your pockets turn to rabbit ears. Even needy bitches should get the hand. Transactional sex is transactional sex whether the amount is predetermined, she's a moocher or is only hanging another for the pot at the end of the rainbow. If a young chick is hanging around because she enjoys being under your tutelage or is burned out on the young, dumb and full of cum types (they do exist), and happens to be present for some of the perks of your lifestyle-that's one thing.

In the OP's case he's already gotten free samples, so he is already up and playing with house money. She showed her "hand" when she had sex with you so now the House (chick) is now trying to recoup, put your money in your pocket and walk away.

[Dantes]

Her asking you for money made you speechless? Why ? You met her on Seeking Arrangement, not Tinder. Consider it mission accomplished. You got some nice play from a cute, younger girl. She revealed her true intentions. It won't be the last time if you continue to hang out with her.

This should be posted in the Seeking Arrangement thread.

[AboveAverageJoe]

(07-08-2016 12:21 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

Her asking you for money made you speechless? Why ? You met her on Seeking Arrangement, not Tinder. Consider it mission accomplished. You got some nice play from a cute, younger girl. She revealed her true intentions. It won't be the last time if you continue to hang out with her.

This should be posted in the Seeking Arrangement thread.

Oh, I didn't read that part. Duh!
You can never, ever turn from a trick into a guy a ho sees as not square.
Once a john, always a john. Just the fact you are asking how to game her shows she has your nose open. She is trying to offer you the GFE which is down-low hoeing. She wants the hoeing part to be unsaid.
This doesn't deserve its own thread as P4P is looked down on here.
Put it in the SA thread.

[DimeBait]

I would ignore her during daytime hours. Only respond after sunset, if at all. You have the upper hand here. If you feel like reinforcing positive behavior, then take her to nice restaurants only after great sex, or blowjobs.

[MalibuPad]

Hi guys.
I now see my Post Subject is misleading (my bad). I met this chick on Tinder, I had no idea she was a sugar baby or looking for any kind of payment. We got together last minute to hang out on 4th of July...there was no talk of her needing money until the 2nd date. She texted me last night that she can't wait to go out again, blah blah...but nothing about the cash. Ghosted her so I guess I'll leave it at that for now.

[DarkTriad]

If you promised to pay her you should pay her, because you're a man and your word should be your bond. If you don't want to see her again, just Western Union the money. If you wanted a non PfP relationship, you should have stood your ground instead of caving in. This is like deciding not to pay your plumber after he does his job because you would've/could've/should've done it on your own without having to pay someone else. It's just not something honorable people do.

[AboveAverageJoe]

I dont' believe the OP agreed to pay for services rendered. I believe she gave up some pussy and asked for money after the fact. That is even more dishonorable; to provide a service for free under false pretenses and then ask for payment afterwards. That is something only a poorly-trained and stupid ho would do. She is probably used to very compliant men.

[JayJuanGee]

(07-08-2016 12:28 PM)AboveAverageJoe Wrote:  

(07-08-2016 12:21 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

Her asking you for money made you speechless? Why ? You met her on Seeking Arrangement, not Tinder. Consider it mission accomplished. You got some nice play from a cute, younger girl. She revealed her true intentions. It won't be the last time if you continue to hang out with her.

This should be posted in the Seeking Arrangement thread.

Oh, I didn't read that part. Duh!
You can never, ever turn from a trick into a guy a ho sees as not square.
Once a john, always a john. Just the fact you are asking how to game her shows she has your nose open. She is trying to offer you the GFE which is down-low hoeing. She wants the hoeing part to be unsaid.
This doesn't deserve its own thread as P4P is looked down on here.
Put it in the SA thread.

Wait, you guys are misreading.. the first line of the OP is that he found her on Tinder (not seeking arrangement)

[XPQ22]

(07-08-2016 03:44 PM)AboveAverageJoe Wrote:  

That is even more dishonorable; to provide a service for free under false pretenses and then ask for payment afterwards.

So, marriage then?

Zing!

[JayJuanGee]

(07-08-2016 01:04 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

If you promised to pay her you should pay her, because you're a man and your word should be your bond. If you don't want to see her again, just Western Union the money. If you wanted a non PfP relationship, you should have stood your ground instead of caving in. This is like deciding not to pay your plumber after he does his job because you would've/could've/should've done it on your own without having to pay someone else. It's just not something honorable people do.

this may be a kind of minority view on RVF... I'm not sure, but I'm generally of the opinion that guys should not make promises that he does not intend to keep, whether it is in order to attempt to achieve a bang or for some other reason in dealing with sometimes tricky chicks... but yeah, of course, guys are going to have differing practices and those are surely their choices.

So, in a case like this, if you clearly agreed to pay or left the impression that you were going to pay, then you pay or otherwise you have some kind of duty, probably to figure out a way to walk back the statement (or impression) without becoming too sleazy in the process.

(07-08-2016 05:08 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(07-08-2016 03:44 PM)AboveAverageJoe Wrote:  

That is even more dishonorable; to provide a service for free under false pretenses and then ask for payment afterwards.

So, marriage then?

Zing!

I am pretty sure that you are joking here, XPQ22, and probably bringing up marriage is going a bit too far. Yet, I can imagine a variety of circumstances in which seemingly temporary relationships evolve into something a lot longer term, in spite trickery and testing in the beginning and even sometimes difficulties relating...

Surely, we can just pump and dump chicks, yet when we begin to spend a considerable amount of time with a chick, there may be various ways in which we come to understand her motivations and even to trust her not to screw us around in various ways... Yeah, sometimes, those impressions can be incorrect, but going down any path, whether that is marriage or developing a LTR involves knowns and unknowns and evolving knowledge accompanied by risk... and then decisions about whether we believe, on an individual basis, that we are getting what we want out of the relationship.

[eradicator]

I'd next her but gently(don't flat out stop responding to her like a woman, but don't make more plans to see her and definitely don't pay her money, just tell her you are super busy with work and no time to date this week). She is 27 and on tinder and female, she had thousands of guys hitting her up, let one of them pay her money if they want to. Next time don't offer to pay 300 dollars.

[eradicator]

Oh, I don't think she is a pro either. An actual hooker would surely have demanded the money up front(I would think?)

[JayJuanGee]

(07-08-2016 09:20 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

Oh, I don't think she is a pro either. An actual hooker would surely have demanded the money up front(I would think?)

I think that the assertion of "semi-pro" is not meant to assert actual hooker, but instead that she is engaged in a pattern or practice of exchanging sex for monetary value (but more in a kind of unstated way).

From the description of the situation, that "semi-pro" label does seem like a bit of a stretch for what this chick has done, so far because she actually seems to be putting out and not really insisting on any kind of exchange of value... so her behaviors seem to not quite even rise to the level of "semi-pro" either.

As you suggest, eradicator, I think that her behavior kind of rises to the level of "shit that some chicks do" in terms of wanting to make sure that they are being "treated well," if they can get away with it. In that regard, if a cute chick can get an older guy (who is likely not as starving for money as she is) to pay for some of her expenses, then why not? So, her behavior can be considered kind of within expectations of even quasi-normal girls, yet the guy's job (at least a kind of self-respecting guy) would be to keep these kinds of chicks in check by letting her know that he is not willing to play those kinds of quasi- or otherwise P4P scenarios.

[MalibuPad]

Thanks guys. This is new territory for me and really caught me off guard. Still wrapping my head around it...