[Kvothe]

Is it true that once you lose your frame, it is forever lost?

[Travesty]

You can bring it back, your action has to be pretty drastic though.

What ever you did that was bad you almost need to do something twice as powerful that is good to recover which is usually against the odds.

[Kvothe]

(08-04-2015 07:42 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

You can bring it back, your action has to be pretty drastic though.

What ever you did that was bad you almost need to do something twice as powerful that is good to recover which is usually against the odds.

Can you give examples? Like a in scale.

How can you figure out if you lost it?

[Cronus]

If you constantly reach out to her and she rarely does it to you, you've lost frame.

If you screwed up and you keep apologizing, you've lost frame.

If she doesn't do what you ask her to, you've lost frame.

If she talks down to you, you've lost frame.

If she doesn't think you're the shit, you've lost frame.

See where this is going?

There are not that many ways to regain frame if you've lost it. My favorite way to reframe is to drop off the face of the earth. Don't talk, text, or instant message her for at least a week. See what she does and go from there.

Just remember it's easier to start with a strong frame than it is to start with a weak one and reframe.

[CleanSlate]

(08-04-2015 07:30 PM)Kvothe Wrote:  

Is it true that once you lose your frame, it is forever lost?

Yes, I believe that.

Doesn't mean she will dump you immediately after you losing frame, though. She might stay with you, but won't be in love with you anymore, and eventually cheat on you.

[amusedmastery]

Regain frame with "dread game". Credit to Roissy and Rollo for most of this:

1. Limit or cut contact.

2. Start working out (if you don't)

3. Hit on hot women in front of her.

4. Tell her you're taking a business trip but be extremely vague about your whereabouts, when you'll return, or why you'd even go on such a trip to begin with. Do not contact her during this "trip". If she contacts you, remain vague, obtuse, and short. "Busy" always works by text.

5. Start new hobbies and interests and tell her you're busy all the time.

6. Tell her she's boring you to death. Then yawn and walk off.

7. Start living a life within your own frame and with a purpose that is not female driven. Women are a complement, not a goal or focus for life.

[Dalaran1991]

(08-04-2015 07:42 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

You can bring it back, your action has to be pretty drastic though.

What ever you did that was bad you almost need to do something twice as powerful that is good to recover which is usually against the odds.

What he said.

You also are not giving us the full context here. Are we talking an approach, a date, a fuck buddy, a LTR, or (Satan forbid) a marriage?

In all but the LTRs and fuck buddy, and even then, its way better to jump ship and find a new one rather than trying to run damage control on a sinking ship. This is one of the most valuable game lessons I learned.

Drama and dread game are good tools to regaine frame. My brother-in-law is usually a very very chill guy and my sister loves to blabble on and on, he never said anything because he considers her a child nagging (game recognized: brother in law) One day she was constantly bitching about some random stuff and he had had enough.

He screams "Shut your fucking mouth! Why do you have to talk so much!" then just calmly leaves the house. My sister was left terrified, petrified, and this woman CEO is never afraid of anyone.

Another time she was raising hell again, he just left the house. He said he was having a late night coffee with a "colleague" , turns out to be a real hot young chick He made sure that my sister found out.




Sometimes women test your frame just to raise shit to see how you react, they crave to see you unleash your inner beast in a lustful rage of hate bang. Give it to them, its their drug.

[Kvothe]

@amusedmastery

That is really solid advice. You gave me nice actionable steps, with me personally and mind help me a lot. But, for example if I imagine myself telling her she is boring me to death and walk off, I feel afraid and get instant anxiety. How can I overcome all of these? I cannot think of myself doing something like that. I assume I am making a mistake and destroying future contacts, my behaviour will bite me in my ass later...and so on. This is not normal, right?

@Dalaran1991
Its an LTR, but I have some plates on the side.

If women sometimes test my frame, how can I tell when they are really doing it and when not? I find myself in troublesome situations where at my job/internship women flirt with me, but I just want to do what I was told to earn my money. Its like they always are testing at the wrong time that and at the wrong place. Things just get sexual. Am I sending wrong signals?

@Cronus
I get where you are going, but how can I remember all these things on the field? I get stuck when I approach; it just seems that it feels unnecessary to
always have a strong frame all the time. Nobody can do that, I think.

@CleanSlate
Just even to think about it hurts.

[CleanSlate]

(08-05-2015 09:09 AM)Kvothe Wrote:  

@CleanSlate
Just even to think about it hurts.

I know, man. Shut the door, have a good cry for a minute, then get yourself together, charge it to the Game, and go on about your merry day.

[Cronus]

(08-05-2015 09:09 AM)Kvothe Wrote:  

@Cronus
I get where you are going, but how can I remember all these things on the field? I get stuck when I approach; it just seems that it feels unnecessary to
always have a strong frame all the time. Nobody can do that, I think.

You're right, no one has a strong frame 24/7. What you need to develop is when to activate that frame and how long to maintain it. At the beginning you'll need to focus and take your time to keep your frame in check. After you've had enough experience it will come naturally and you won't have to constantly think about it. A strong frame will be part of you.

I have two pieces of advice.

The first is to start meditating. There's plenty of information on the forum and internet on how to get started. Here is an RoK article to get the ball rolling.

The second (this is for when you're approaching) is to become a little arrogant. When you see a chick you want to approach, create a story in your head about how much better than her you are. Think of all the cool places you've been, the things you've experienced, the women you've banged, and so on. By doing this, you won't take her seriously and you won't have to constantly keep thinking about your frame. Consider her a loser until proven otherwise, and even then remember that she'll never be better than you.

Arrogance is a helpful tool to build confidence, but don't go overboard. Keep yourself in check and you'll do fine.

[coverdoc]

I used to have this problem a lot until I realized the best way to prevent loss of frame is to detect when your frame is being questioned early, it's so simple and subtle that you can barely notice, but she does!
Examples:
1.Out to eat, girls says, "i don't like this restaurant let's go somewhere else." Frame test or maybe she genuinely doesn't like places but I always respond with either "no this is fine" or "we'll leave after I finish my meal/drink"
2. Girl uses her phone at dinner: I used to let them, but now I either grab their phone and put it in my pocket or put their phone next to me and put mines on top of it. Of she insist on using it, i tell her dates over, my Girlfriends never do that shit so no worries.
3. Girl suggest anything lol. So serious: If she says you should, I think that, maybe you can etc. I always say no or "i don't take advice from chicks." It comes off ass hole like but they respect the frame a lot more after that.

I could post a billion examples, i think there is a thread for that, but you get the point. Learn to detect it early and it'll pay off in the long run. The key is to honestly have an abundance mentality and like Cronus said be slightly arrogant/overly confident at all times. She's not doing you a favor, you're doing her the favor. . If she acts up, doesn't do something to your liking, talks out of line ->Next the bitch! You will find more, younger hotter versions of her.

-CD