I want to discuss the chivalrous act of giving up one's seat for a woman. Living in NYC and using the subway everyday, I see men give their seats up all the time. And I wonder about this gesture.
Today I was put in an awkward situation. Three women and two children got on the PATH train. They were a family: a young middle aged grandmother, her two daughters, and two school age children. I was sitting in the single corner seat, and somehow they all gravitated towards me and the pole that was near my seat. My space was a bit crowded but I didn't fret too much because the commute was only 20 mins.
Then the awkwardness came. One of the women started to make a joke about how the young boy, when he was even younger, would get on the train, complain about not having a seat, and eventually someone would give up their seat for him. They talked and reminisced and laughed about it as if it was the cutest thing ever. During this time I could feel their eyes on me, watching to see if I would crack under the pressure of the conversation and offer up my seat. I didn't. Then the grandmother started talking about how nice it is when people give up their seats for small children, and how her favorite seat, especially on a hot summer day like today, is the corner seat (where I was sitting). Again, a direct reference to me and my seat, I did nothing. I continued to stare at the wall and gather my thoughts.
The train was crowded, and I was not about to give up my seat so I could stand in discomfort for some strange woman/child whom I've never met, and who all appeared to be able-bodied enough to make it through the 20 min train ride.
I understand giving up one's seat to the obviously injured/disabled. I've done it before and I would do it again. But I don't believe in giving up my seat because an entitled woman feels entitled to it. In fact, this made me even more resolved in my effort to not give up my seat. I was not going to reinforce the already grand sense of entitlement that women walk around with each day.
I mean, it gets so pathetic sometimes, when I see grown men jumping, literally tripping over themselves, physically and verbally, to give up their seats to healthy young women. It actually makes me cringe. So I stayed on the train, and stayed in my seat until it was time to get off.
Now, we could argue the other side of the fence and say, well, what if it was my grandmother, mother, sister, etc? And to that I would say then she is no different in thinking she deserves someone's seat. Aside from suffering from some obvious injury, any female family member of mine who thinks they deserve a man's seat just because they are a woman is a part of that same female entitlement that does not deserve to be rewarded.
I don't give up my seat unless in my mind I assess the situation to be absolutely necessary. The very old and weak, or pregnant women about to pop soon, etc. I was curious as to what you other players think about the matter.
Would you give up your seat, and if so, under what circumstances?
Today I was put in an awkward situation. Three women and two children got on the PATH train. They were a family: a young middle aged grandmother, her two daughters, and two school age children. I was sitting in the single corner seat, and somehow they all gravitated towards me and the pole that was near my seat. My space was a bit crowded but I didn't fret too much because the commute was only 20 mins.
Then the awkwardness came. One of the women started to make a joke about how the young boy, when he was even younger, would get on the train, complain about not having a seat, and eventually someone would give up their seat for him. They talked and reminisced and laughed about it as if it was the cutest thing ever. During this time I could feel their eyes on me, watching to see if I would crack under the pressure of the conversation and offer up my seat. I didn't. Then the grandmother started talking about how nice it is when people give up their seats for small children, and how her favorite seat, especially on a hot summer day like today, is the corner seat (where I was sitting). Again, a direct reference to me and my seat, I did nothing. I continued to stare at the wall and gather my thoughts.
The train was crowded, and I was not about to give up my seat so I could stand in discomfort for some strange woman/child whom I've never met, and who all appeared to be able-bodied enough to make it through the 20 min train ride.
I understand giving up one's seat to the obviously injured/disabled. I've done it before and I would do it again. But I don't believe in giving up my seat because an entitled woman feels entitled to it. In fact, this made me even more resolved in my effort to not give up my seat. I was not going to reinforce the already grand sense of entitlement that women walk around with each day.
I mean, it gets so pathetic sometimes, when I see grown men jumping, literally tripping over themselves, physically and verbally, to give up their seats to healthy young women. It actually makes me cringe. So I stayed on the train, and stayed in my seat until it was time to get off.
Now, we could argue the other side of the fence and say, well, what if it was my grandmother, mother, sister, etc? And to that I would say then she is no different in thinking she deserves someone's seat. Aside from suffering from some obvious injury, any female family member of mine who thinks they deserve a man's seat just because they are a woman is a part of that same female entitlement that does not deserve to be rewarded.
I don't give up my seat unless in my mind I assess the situation to be absolutely necessary. The very old and weak, or pregnant women about to pop soon, etc. I was curious as to what you other players think about the matter.
Would you give up your seat, and if so, under what circumstances?
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