[Riker]

Hey guys,

So I met this girl at a birthday party a while ago, chatted with her on facebook, got her number and she says she's down to meet up for drinks. The thing is I'm concentrating on working now and I haven't been on a first date in over a year and a half since I've had a girlfriend.

So normally in this situation I'd try super hard to game this girl and get her in bed. However I really don't want too much of a conscious effort to do everything perfect to get the lay. I rather just go for it and see what comes out of it, not really playing many games or whatever.

Is this ok? Or am I just being lazy? I think a plus to this is that I won't leak needy game since I'm not caring too much but at the same time I might a mistake similar to asking for the first date on a Friday or Saturday night.

What do you guys think? This is an Argentinian girl in her early 30s so that should make it easier....

[Vicious]

There are some words I react to in your post. "Try", "conscious effort" and "playing games". It would seem that gaming is not a natural process for you. If that is the case then you risk sounding phony or at worst schizophrenic. Until this stuff comes unconsciously, when it's something who you are and never need to feel like you are trying something or playing a game, then you should be careful about "trying". What I'm reading between the lines is that you want this a little too much... this will mess up your game.

My advice to you would be to pick a couple of routines, DHV stories, themes etc. 3 is a good number. Take the time to REALLY practice these until you can transition easily to them from any subject without it feeling forced. Just show up with these three things and instead occupy you conscious mind with things like posture, body language, speaking slowly and clearly... all in a relaxed manner.

[Riker]

Nice, sounds like something I can do. Thanks.

[OGNorCal707]

If you are attracted to the girl, are interested in her, and want to have sex with her, then it is worth making the effort to pursue her. However, like you are thinking, it's important not too care too much or get too invested in the outcome of your pursual (detachment). It sounds like you got the right idea about not trying "super hard to game her perfectly", and worry too much about every little thing. This is definitely where "needy" game or vibes leaks out, as you are trying too hard, caring too much, and over analyzing every little thing.

I know for me I was a text book example in the past of all these things (pedestaling women, caring too much, over-analyzing, putting out "needy" vibes), overcoming it for me is still a process, but it largely has to do with putting myself out there, and experiencing the rejections, success, flakes, etc., the ups and downs of chasing women. If things work out, cool. If they don't, it's her loss. There are always plenty more fish in the sea.