[fiasco360]

Now before anyone says "just meet new girls"

I have been doing just that and have some new girls on my plate as well. Now that we get that out of the way.

I was seeing this girl for a while, we both had fun and the sex was absolutely phenomenal. She knew in the back of her mind I was seeing multiple women while seeing her but was kind of okay with it. Also screened her for any STDs and saw her reports - clean. I made the mistake of having sex with her too often. At one point she wanted to do the exclusive thing, but I kind of brushed it away. It was fine after that, we kept hanging out and hooking up.

Anyway about 2 months later I did start to get a little bored because I saw her too often and became insanely busy with work and school. Our contact with each other became somewhat infrequent as I responded less and less. No harsh words were exchanged, but the texts just dropped off. She ends up deleting me off social media after another month or so. Don't blame her, probably a new guy in her life or just got mad at me.

My plan was just to shoot a simple text or something along those lines to open up contact lines. Curious to see if anyone has much experience reviving these kinds of scenarios?

[UKDON]

1st question is why?! This is almost definitely going to be a lost cause, even more so because she deleted you off soc media.

Never a good idea to revisit the past...ever, that said If you still want to face disappointment, then def go down the casual route, i'd hit some line about either thinking you saw her out (bit creepy) or with 'hey, long time! how is everything...' (still creepy)

Common denominator is that she'll see right thru whatever you say, u just have to hope she's up for the same

[kaotic]

I've banged 2 ex's a year after we broke up (we never really spoke after that again).

You had a defacto girlfriend, wether you liked it or not. She saw the writing on the wall and probably ejected onto a dudes dick who wanted a relationship.

If she's deleting you off social media, take that as sign, it's like a girl giving you your shit back, it's over, move on.

She doesn't want you in her life, and yes MEET NEW GIRLS.

If you're really that desperate to reach out to her, sure text her something, but a woman knows the game and she's kept score, don't be surprised if you don't get a response and if you do it doesn't go anywhere.

I've tried this countless times in the past, doesn't work.

[OregonToSoCal]

(06-24-2015 11:07 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

I've banged 2 ex's a year after we broke up (we never really spoke after that again).

You had a defacto girlfriend, wether you liked it or not. She saw the writing on the wall and probably ejected onto a dudes dick who wanted a relationship.

If she's deleting you off social media, take that as sign, it's like a girl giving you your shit back, it's over, move on.

She doesn't want you in her life, and yes MEET NEW GIRLS.

If you're really that desperate to reach out to her, sure text her something, but a woman knows the game and she's kept score, don't be surprised if you don't get a response and if you do it doesn't go anywhere.

I've tried this countless times in the past, doesn't work.

I cosign with this. I had a FWB for several months last year. She was separated and going through a divorce and made no bones about the fact that she was riding the Tinder cock carousel HARD. She started acting more and more flaky and I called her out on it which resulted in her completely ghosting. Every few months I would try a restart text to no avail and then a couple of weeks ago while I was still on OKC I saw her profile and messaged her. You guessed it, she viewed my profile and never replied.

One indisputable fact that I've learned about women is that when they make that decision to next you there's no going back. It can be after a first date, first bang, several month relationship, you name it. That ship has sailed, you're dead to her, pick your cliche but it's over.

[kaotic]

Yup, I made that rookie mistake with a harem girl I had about 2 weeks ago.

We both agreed we're busy and I don't have the time to pursue a relationship. I text her last week to touch base (mistake 1) then caught up via text then dropped a line on catching up (mistake 2), she didn't go ballistic but basically said "look we're cool, we're fine, we're friends, just don't ask me to hangout" - clearly after I nexted her she confused as to why I was talking to her and turned bitch mode.

Live and learn, the fact OP is posting if he should send a restart text to a girl, proves he's got a slight case of oneitis for this girl and his harem isn't look great as it sounds. (No offense OP)

You can do better man !

[Dr. Howard]

If you were separated by circumstance a restart is very easy as thats pretty much the plot of every romance movie and novel that exists and chicks love it.

If you were separated by choice, either hers or yours...other posters are correct, its done.

Now, let me provide some specific examples of circumstance:
- moving away to go to college
- moving away for a job
- ending a vacation
- she got back together with an ex (strange but true)
- Another girl LTR'd you and was territorial about it. (This only works if it looks like a girl has essentially 'forced your hand' to retire from the fwb relationship). Sluts tend to be sympathetic like "oh that girl wasn't any good for you" if you make it look like you were somehow tricked/forced into a relationship with her....in short, if your FWBs hate the girl that LTR's you, they are happy to do a restart.

[heavy]

Second what kaotic and OregonToSoCal said, but if you must...

Don't text
Don't call
Don't attempt any contact EXCEPT in-person by-chance run in

You need to be able to read her without her having any idea you are potentially interested in banging again. If you text, message, social media, call or any electronic contact, she'll think you're chasing poos.

You don't want to be that guy. Even if it does lead to sex, it's not fun to be the guy recycling your women. It comes off as feminine (even if you aren't feminine, it's a feminine trait).

So...if you know where she goes and when, go there and 'happen' to run in to her. Oops, weird, we ran into each other and ended up rekindling an old flame.

It won't be as good as you think, but it'll be nice to bang her again. I'd bet on her not wanting to though, but ya never know. You basically have to catch her when she's horny and looking for dick.

[amity]

(06-24-2015 01:17 PM)heavy Wrote:  

Second what kaotic and OregonToSoCal said, but if you must...

Don't text
Don't call
Don't attempt any contact EXCEPT in-person by-chance run in

You need to be able to read her without her having any idea you are potentially interested in banging again. If you text, message, social media, call or any electronic contact, she'll think you're chasing poos.

You don't want to be that guy. Even if it does lead to sex, it's not fun to be the guy recycling your women. It comes off as feminine (even if you aren't feminine, it's a feminine trait).

So...if you know where she goes and when, go there and 'happen' to run in to her. Oops, weird, we ran into each other and ended up rekindling an old flame.

It won't be as good as you think, but it'll be nice to bang her again. I'd bet on her not wanting to though, but ya never know. You basically have to catch her when she's horny and looking for dick.

Correct. It has to 'just happen'.
If she realises there's any kind of preconceived action on your part, you're toast.

[Aenigmarius]

Quote:

One indisputable fact that I've learned about women is that when they make that decision to next you there's no going back. It can be after a first date, first bang, several month relationship, you name it. That ship has sailed, you're dead to her, pick your cliche but it's over.

I wish I had learned this before I ever had my first date.

I wish I could get this permanently tattooed on my brain so I would never ever again stumble over this.

There is no level of emotional, physical or sexual intimacy you can achieve with a girl that she cannot turn off in an instant like a switch so that it's not only completely gone from her, but it's like it never even existed. Its almost sociopathic.

[fiasco360]

Fair enough, thanks fellas.

I figured since I kind of denied the relationship starting and that I kind of ghosted her that she might be up to hang (bang) again. I've had a few successes of picking something back up where I was the one to deny the girl.

That being said, I have no particular investment in this, I just figured it may be possible. I'll leave it be and hit up new girls.

[Gmac]

Past girls who have actively shown disinterest in you aren't worth the effort as other posters have mentioned. She's moved on. However, given enough time (over 6 months) there's nothing wrong with sending a restart text to see if anything sticks. Just don't get hung up on this one girl, she'll likely deny you again anyway.

[RougeNoir]

Pics needed to see if she's worth re-pursing.

[studmuffin52]

Wish I had read this thread immediately after my FWB arrangement ended. I had a bad case of oneitis after i found out she liked some guy she met at a club and turned off the benefits. She pretty much showed no interest in me subsequent to meeting that guy. Sent a restart text last night but ended badly. This is a month or so after things ended.

Me: You and me. My place tonight.
Her: Lol I'm at the club and I'm already going home with my guy
Me: which guy? I am your guy.
Me: If you as drunk as i am, you know you want to
Her: Haha the guy I like I told you
Me: Ditch him. You need variety
Her: Lol I'm going home with tonight. He's with me
Me: So? I pound you harder.
Her: lol i am not that drunk. And actually you don't, he does
Me: Yer? You havent seen me drunk

After reading this thread, I am thinking of out right deleting her number.

[Vaun]

(06-24-2015 11:07 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

You had a defacto girlfriend, wether you liked it or not. She saw the writing on the wall and probably ejected onto a dudes dick who wanted a relationship.

If she's deleting you off social media, take that as sign, it's like a girl giving you your shit back, it's over, move on.

She doesn't want you in her life, and yes MEET NEW GIRLS.

If you're really that desperate to reach out to her, sure text her something, but a woman knows the game and she's kept score, don't be surprised if you don't get a response and if you do it doesn't go anywhere.

I've tried this countless times in the past, doesn't work.

I reached out to my last LTR recently. She told me its over and to move on, and has told me that over and over.

The thing is, for the four years, this girl has lifted hell and earth to try and get me to marry her. She treated me well, but she was also nuts. And didnt take care of herself or live a healthy lifestyle. Not the type I want in my life long term.

We connected like non-other, but I could not stay connected to her. HH titties, small waisted Central American educated career girl, that if it demanded it, could probably get me out of a Turkish prison. In the first year I was convinced I found the one, but later to find out, wasn't.

So I would ghost her, and did it several times over years. Literally, one, two, three months at a time, I would disappear without a trace. No calls, no texts answered, and she would really try for weeks. I kicked her out of my place when she tried to move in. And she held on for years of this. She was convinced I was the love of her life.

I ghosted her again in April, and I find out in May she was already with a new guy she is madly in love with. This is the type of chick she is. After dumping her for years, she was totally done and ready to move on.

Another more "FWB", sexy as hell 22yo college grad living near me, wont do anything with me anymore. I ghosted her several times, and broke many dates. Shes done too.

What I am trying to say is; when they are done, they are done. You dont over cook the bread. If she is not into it the sex will be bad and it will ruin the good memories you have of her. Unless she is crawling back to you asking to meet up, hunting you down, if it even for a second feels like you are bugging her, its DONE dude.

[fiasco360]

Banged a new girl last night anyway. Have 2 more in the pipeline for upcoming week.

To reiterate, this girl was interested in me but I kind of ghosted her. It's not oneitis by any means, just wanted to smash again. Not a big deal if I don't.

Interesting to see new perspectives regardless. But I feel like people are blowing this out of proportion.

[Vincent Chase]

Your best way of getting her back is not to give two shits about her. Abudance mentality, as you are trying to do by fucking other girls helps a huge amount in this.

The last girl I had this with is coming to travel in my city later this week. She pissed me off in the past and I went ghost on her. Complete no contact for 3 months. Then she out of the blue texted me asking me where's the best place to stay in the city I live in and apologised for her bad behaviour in the past.

She told me not to expect anything sexual. I told her I'm not sure i want to have sex with you. She was shocked "what do you mean you're not sure?". I told her I haven't decided yet. Guess who'll be chasing who.

Always have this in the back of your mind: you already fucked her.

[fiasco360]

(06-28-2015 07:04 AM)Vincent Chase Wrote:  

Your best way of getting her back is not to give two shits about her. Abudance mentality, as you are trying to do by fucking other girls helps a huge amount in this.

The last girl I had this with is coming to travel in my city later this week. She pissed me off in the past and I went ghost on her. Complete no contact for 3 months. Then she out of the blue texted me asking me where's the best place to stay in the city I live in and apologised for her bad behaviour in the past.

She told me not to expect anything sexual. I told her I'm not sure i want to have sex with you. She was shocked "what do you mean you're not sure?". I told her I haven't decided yet. Guess who'll be chasing who.

Always have this in the back of your mind: you already fucked her.

I appreciate the advice but seriously guys, I don't care THAT much. It's not an ex girlfriend I'm pining over (Those were my younger days). Maybe in her mind we were in a quasi relationship but you guys are severely overestimating my interest level. Was just giving some background to the story to see if anyone else had a similar story.

[kaotic]

(06-29-2015 05:36 PM)fiasco360 Wrote:  

I appreciate the advice but seriously guys, I don't care THAT much. It's not an ex girlfriend I'm pining over (Those were my younger days). Maybe in her mind we were in a quasi relationship but you guys are severely overestimating my interest level. Was just giving some background to the story to see if anyone else had a similar story.

The fact you're posting the story and asking for suggestions to random men online tells us otherwise. Maybe you don't see it, but we do.

You've been given examples and advice, you're the man who makes the choice in the end.

If anything make a decision and let us know how it turns out.

[Jaydublin]

I think they just have to be desperate again.... if they have met somebody else and are into them then yea your chances are slim but if you find out that girl is bored and desperate and it can work. I wouldn't approach her with a cocky attitude(studmuffin52 style) if you had previously broken her heart and she is past you... that wont go well.

I've had similar situations where girls had given everything to be with me and i ghost and return multiple times over the course of a couple years... they usually do eventually get fed up and once they do they are done unless you can show them something different... but thats if you want something serious. If you dont I think its best to let them go and live their lives.

A lot of this usually to do with getting back control of the situation.

[fiasco360]

(06-29-2015 05:42 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(06-29-2015 05:36 PM)fiasco360 Wrote:  

I appreciate the advice but seriously guys, I don't care THAT much. It's not an ex girlfriend I'm pining over (Those were my younger days). Maybe in her mind we were in a quasi relationship but you guys are severely overestimating my interest level. Was just giving some background to the story to see if anyone else had a similar story.

The fact you're posting the story and asking for suggestions to random men online tells us otherwise. Maybe you don't see it, but we do.

You've been given examples and advice, you're the man who makes the choice in the end.

If anything make a decision and let us know how it turns out.

Opted against it. Thanks for all the advice.