[Screwston]

I know there's guys on here that are naturally shy and quiet. How did y'all get past that and make yourself approach every girl you want to? I've grown a lot in the past few years but sometimes I still get that feeling in my stomach when I see a bad bitch and won't go up to her. I still can't bring myself to talk to groups unless I'm drunk but that's a whole different thread. I tell myself "its just pussy" and the worst any girl can say is no but I still haven't reached that point where I can go up to any lizard. Is there a secret or do I just need to let my nuts hang and get out in the field?

[sir_seducer]

once my early age teacher told me to think every people in the hall is crazy with no brain at all whenever you feel stage fright.

i applied same thinking for approaching by thinking and every girl is fool...

[Jack Frost]

Ok this is gonna sound really weird but it really was the best advice I got for approach anxiety. Im naturally a super extroverted person but when it came to girls when I was younger I was super shy. My best friends older brother growing up was a starting middle linebacker in the NFL for the Chargers and the Rams and was pretty much a superhero to us when were kids and when I was 16 told me the following.

"Jack youre a good looking dude you shouldnt worry what these damn girls think. When you see a girl I dont care if shes the finest bitch alive shes still human. Picture her taking a huge shit and walk right on up to her. I dont care how hot someone is nobody looks good when theyre taking a shit"

Now obviously you dont want to keep that visual too long if youre trying to fuck a girl but for some reason that always resonated with me and has stuck with me all these years when it comes to not putting the pussy on a pedestal. It basically boils down to humanizing the situation and realizing that shes no different or better than you are.

[pitt]

Houston i believe more hot girls you approach in the streets and you fuck, the more you will lose that fear. I also been in your position before, but right now if she doesnt have a perfect booty, im not even stopping the bitch.

Just think to yourself, she wont beat you, the worse she may do is tell you to go away, you can always reply back to her ´´You aint that nice anyway, or you are not my type anyway´´,so yeah bascially the more you approach and fuck, the more you will lose that fear..that will happen naturally.

[CJ]

In my experience there isn't really a way to completely eradicate approach anxiety, but you can gradually build up a numbness to it.

Think of it like a horror film. The first time you saw someone get decapitated, you probably thought, "Holy shit! That's nasty/awesome!" then the next time it was a little less cool... now if you go see a horror film, nothing really surprises you, because you've grown numb to the concept.

Your mentality should be to laugh inside, and think I've slept with better, wtf is up with this chick? But it's not a big deal because now you've got to program yourself to move on to the next target ASAP. The longer you dwell on approaching a girl, or being rejected by one, the more time you waste in getting closer to your goal.

[oldnemesis]

(06-02-2011 01:08 AM)houston Wrote:  

I know there's guys on here that are naturally shy and quiet. How did y'all get past that and make yourself approach every girl you want to?

With practice. It is like skydiving - no matter how many books and forums you read, you'll be scared and adrenaline-pumping your first 10-20 jumps. Then - quite suddenly - you find out that you aren't scared anymore, that emotional-wise jumping from the airplane is no more different for you than driving to the grocery store, and you are bored on your way up.

Same with approach - at some point after the practice you'll reach the state when your mouth works independently from your brain, and you're doing the approach automatically, while thinking about something completely different.

[beta_plus]

(06-02-2011 01:38 AM)Jack Frost Wrote:  

Ok this is gonna sound really weird but it really was the best advice I got for approach anxiety. Im naturally a super extroverted person but when it came to girls when I was younger I was super shy. My best friends older brother growing up was a starting middle linebacker in the NFL for the Chargers and the Rams and was pretty much a superhero to us when were kids and when I was 16 told me the following.

"Jack youre a good looking dude you shouldnt worry what these damn girls think. When you see a girl I dont care if shes the finest bitch alive shes still human. Picture her taking a huge shit and walk right on up to her. I dont care how hot someone is nobody looks good when theyre taking a shit"

Now obviously you dont want to keep that visual too long if youre trying to fuck a girl but for some reason that always resonated with me and has stuck with me all these years when it comes to not putting the pussy on a pedestal. It basically boils down to humanizing the situation and realizing that shes no different or better than you are.

I'm going to try that. Plus, it's hilarious. Thanks for the great advice and really good laugh.

[tomtud]

[quote='Jack Frost' pid='62532' dateline='1306996699']

"Jack youre a good looking dude you shouldnt worry what these damn girls think. When you see a girl I dont care if shes the finest bitch alive shes still human. Picture her taking a huge shit and walk right on up to her. I dont care how hot someone is nobody looks good when theyre taking a shit"

Hilarious!!!!

[Screwston]

Thanks everyone. I'm going to imagine every girl taking a shit before I approach. That's a good idea and will always put a smile on my face

[MiXX]

(06-02-2011 08:54 PM)houston Wrote:  

Thanks everyone. I'm going to imagine every girl taking a shit before I approach. That's a good idea and will always put a smile on my face

Wouldn't it be better to imagine her licking your balls in a thong and red pumps instead? I'm just saying....seems like a better visual than what you mentioned.

Imagining a girl taking a dump does not motivate me to approach her.....that's pretty unorthodox.

Mixx

[Screwston]

Mixx - I think that's the problem. I guess I feel sort of intimidated when she looks fine as hell and I'm thinking that she won't give me the time of day. The whole shit thing is supposed to make her look like nothing in your head so its no problem approaching....I think.

[raliv]

"Picture her taking a huge shit and walk right on up to her. I dont care how hot someone is nobody looks good when theyre taking a shit"


LOL this is actually what I tell all my friends who have gotten dumped by their girlfriends.

[flashbang]

The shit idea is pretty hilarious. I remember they gave us a similar idea when I was studying Journalism in university. It allows you to interview anyone no matter how important he's supposed to be.

I overcame approach anxiety through thousands of approaches. I still get the adrenaline rush(even the most seasoned cats get it) but I've trained myself to relish it rather than fear it.

This is what goes through my mind when I see a hot chick. A kind of prisoner's dilemma:

If you approach a hot chick you either end up fucking her or not. Even if the odds percentage wise are that you don't, the positive result(fucking her) is much more rewarding than the negative one; getting ignored or having your approach rejected, is negative. I don't care if I get rejected because it's a small price to pay for the possibility of fucking a hot chick.

If you don't approach, you don't fuck her. Plain and simple. No reward, no risk but ultimately a risk of not satisfying the beast.

Here's a clip from Man on Fire which shows a man teaching a young girl how to overcome her fears and succeed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LuXHhKU5...re=related

[solo]

I'm more or less at the same "level", where I usually do at least some approaches every weekend during night game (and very occasionally during day game) but at the same time pass up on a lot of opportunities/IOIs.

I find that I my brain comes up with all kinds of different stupid ass excuses why I shouldn't approach, even though being successful/happy with women is one of my life's biggest goals (not THE biggest one though - I believe that to get women one has to stop validating one self through them and focus on other things in life). There is actually a psycological term for this: it's called resistance. Think about it: why do you hear so many overweight people suffering from their condition yet continue to eat the wrong diet and refraining from exercise? Resistance. (If you add today's society and culture plus genetic predisposition, there really is no wonder so many people are overweight).
Part of the reason for resistance is that one's current situation, however painful, still implies some benefits. Let's face it, it can be quite comfortable to refrain from approaching girls or going for a jog or to the gym, even though doing precisely those thing would help you achieve what you want.

Plus, one has to want it BADLY. And have that don't give a fuck-attitude, plus all the other stuff you can read about here.
Right now I have hit a major resistance spot, maybe I will do an extended post about it some day.