[SUPER1NE]

Hi Everyone,

Firstly, I'm 19 years old and stumbled upon RoK fortuitously and have been an avid read of game material since late last year. I'm also a virgin. I'm new to game, but have had two somewhat serious girlfriends in the past. Beta tendencies and seeing girls as little angels really hampered my progress with them. I was always afraid of getting rather physical with them because I didn't want to make them "uncomfortable" or make them think of me as horny loser. Both were religious girls so said they didn't want sex although one let me spoon her in her BED one time (I know I should have tried to initiate sex) , both ended up dumping me and quickly moving on.

Post discovering game, I been trying to improve myself and ridding myself of white knight tendencies. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past, including girls who wanted to fuck me because I was rather scared and logistics never were in my favour.

Tomorrow I'm having a girl come over, first time I'm having a girl over. I'm rarely home alone, so it always proved difficult to have girls over. She's experienced in sexual matters, kind of a wild one. She was a year behind me in high school, but I recently started talking to her. She's really laid back, she said she'd love to "chill" so I invited her over.

I'll bribe my brother to leave the house so it's just me and the girl. I need advice. I'm rather nervous, but I will go out to buy condoms tomorrow morning. I need to find a way to relax, and get her excited so the panties get dropped..

Any tips for someone losing their virginity? Please do share some stories of your own, so I can learn what to do or not to. I was thinking of telling her that I'm a virgin and for her to show me what she likes, she's a crazy fun girl but I don't know how she'd take it. Should I act like I've done such before, or come out with the truth and hope she takes it well before proceeding to show me the time of my life?

Thanks.

[edtf]

Have some wine. Alcohol makes things easier. While you are talking and teasing with her, make sure to escalate physically. First light touches of her arm. Then if she doesnt move away or gets closer, putting your hand on her hand, or your hand on her leg. Keep talking as if this is the most normal thing in the world. Put your arm around her. If she doesnt ovject, move in for the kiss. If your kiss is not objected, stroke her hair while youre making out. Move your hand down and caress her body. If she reciprocates or does not move your hand away, you can reach for her breasts. After this you can ask her to lay down to be more comfortable. When are are laying down you keep making out and remove her shirt. Then kiss her and remove her bra. Repeat for her pants, once those are off youre in the home stretch.

Dont drink too much alcohol or its really difficult to get hard. Dont be too worried about your performance, this is for your enjoyment. If she resists at any stage move 1 step back, and keep talking as if nothing happened, retry that same step in a few minutes.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

Don't be afraid of failure. Have fun with it. If you're not having fun there's really no point.

Also, way to go man, I discovered the forum about a year ago too. I wasn't a virgin but I had a lot of the same inhibitions. I think the reason I get laid is because when I'm talking to a girl, I let go of expectations and just get into the moment. We connect on various levels, either romantically or lustfully and just let ourselves get down and do it.

Be sure to relax. Losing your virginity is about getting into something new and it can be kinda nerve wracking. I lost mine at 19 and I've had a great time ever since. Being a late bloomer is no big deal.

Be yourself. that means keep your own frame. You do things that you want on your schedule. Get pussy on your terms. Girls these days like to exert power over men using sex. If she's got an ego you can play with it and tease her about shit she takes too seriously. It let's get know you're comfortable and aren't intimidated. Anyway I'm kind of rambling. Read the newbie guide.

Good Luck.

[SUPER1NE]

(05-18-2015 05:58 PM)edtf Wrote:  

Dont be too worried about your performance, this is for your enjoyment. If she resists at any stage move 1 step back, and keep talking as if nothing happened, retry that same step in a few minutes.

This here is gold. So if there is a little hesitation on her part I should step back and act normal. cool, so I assume all that caveman game I read about is for experienced folks? don't think I have the balls right now to do that anyway

thanks!

[SUPER1NE]

(05-18-2015 06:46 PM)h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:  

Don't be afraid of failure. Have fun with it. If you're not having fun there's really no point.

Also, way to go man, I discovered the forum about a year ago too. I wasn't a virgin but I had a lot of the same inhibitions. I think the reason I get laid is because when I'm talking to a girl, I let go of expectations and just get into the moment. We connect on various levels, either romantically or lustfully and just let ourselves get down and do it.

Be sure to relax. Losing your virginity is about getting into something new and it can be kinda nerve wracking. I lost mine at 19 and I've had a great time ever since. Being a late bloomer is no big deal.

Be yourself. that means keep your own frame. You do things that you want on your schedule. Get pussy on your terms. Girls these days like to exert power over men using sex. If she's got an ego you can play with it and tease her about shit she takes too seriously. It let's get know you're comfortable and aren't intimidated. Anyway I'm kind of rambling. Read the newbie guide.

Good Luck.

Well in your rambling, you have helped! I need to relax and just have fun with it, you're right. this is all a learning experience. Thanks mate, and aren't we sure glad we discovered this forum!

[eradicator]

Hopefully you have practiced putting the condom on already. That can be a buzzkill if it takes you a few tries. Eventually you will figure out which brands are easiest for you to get on and stick with those.

at this point I can finger and go down on a chick while getting the condom on and she is already really wet by the time I am banging and there is no weird pauses or whatnot.

above all, don't chicken out. remember that if you want sex, you have to be the one to initiate it and make it happen, every step of the way. get her into your bed, tell her what you are going to do. "oh let me give you the rest of the tour, here is my room. we can watch a movie/listen to music/whatever you have in mind."

"don't freak out, I'm taking your shirt off".

"im taking your pants off now."

"I am taking off your panties".

"I am about to start fingering you"

"I am going to fuck you so good"

you can try something like that after you have been making out for a bit and you keep on escalating.(I stole most of this from mikecf, it works good)

I often get resistance at the panties, if that happens, just keep making out, sucking her tits, playing with her boobs, you can massage her clitoris on top of her underwear to get her more turned on. Option to slide your middle finger palm up into her snatch and find the spongy part with the tip of your middle finger. You probably do not want to finger her so much that she orgasms, but some girls cum really easily. Your goal is to fuck her.

Hopefully you have some idea of what you are going to do, and not just going to wing it.

[MrXY]

Do NOT tell her that you are a virgin or let on that you are sexually inexperienced; that is a big turnoff for most girls.

[Il Bersagliere]

(05-19-2015 06:01 AM)MrXY Wrote:  

Do NOT tell her that you are a virgin or let on that you are sexually inexperienced; that is a big turnoff for most girls.

QFT.

This is also on par with the "how many women have you been with question?" I can't begin to count how many times I've been hit with the question. For the love of god, please deflect the answer with some air of confidence. It's the kiss of death to answer truthfully.

[CH-Toronto]

(05-19-2015 04:06 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

Hopefully you have practiced putting the condom on already. That can be a buzzkill if it takes you a few tries. Eventually you will figure out which brands are easiest for you to get on and stick with those.

at this point I can finger and go down on a chick while getting the condom on and she is already really wet by the time I am banging and there is no weird pauses or whatnot.

above all, don't chicken out. remember that if you want sex, you have to be the one to initiate it and make it happen, every step of the way. get her into your bed, tell her what you are going to do. "oh let me give you the rest of the tour, here is my room. we can watch a movie/listen to music/whatever you have in mind."

"don't freak out, I'm taking your shirt off".

"im taking your pants off now."

"I am taking off your panties".

"I am about to start fingering you"

"I am going to fuck you so good"

you can try something like that after you have been making out for a bit and you keep on escalating.(I stole most of this from mikecf, it works good)

I often get resistance at the panties, if that happens, just keep making out, sucking her tits, playing with her boobs, you can massage her clitoris on top of her underwear to get her more turned on. Option to slide your middle finger palm up into her snatch and find the spongy part with the tip of your middle finger. You probably do not want to finger her so much that she orgasms, but some girls cum really easily. Your goal is to fuck her.

Hopefully you have some idea of what you are going to do, and not just going to wing it.

While I'm going to agree with most of this - especially in terms of practicing putting on the condom. Don't go full Consent for Bros. Notice eradicator's wording. SAY what you're doing - don't ask for "permission".

[eradicator]

the other thing I forgot, if you don't get the bang on your first date, maybe she puts up last minute resistance after you get her naked, or before, whichever, if she has a good time overall, she may bang on the second date. Girls want sex, sure, but they also do not want to feel like a slut. Don't get emotional, just pull back and restart. never get upset, you are doing good to just get a girl over. have fun.

[dark_g]

I'm a senior citizen here, as far as age goes. But I was 17 when lost my virginity. Like you, she was a year younger and more experienced girl(she wasn't a virgin). I was a quiet introverted guy. She was an outgoing popular girl. No one could believe that I was able to get the bang. I never thought I had a chance, so I didn't make the initial approach. She started chatting me up and once I saw that she was interested, the inner Alpha just naturally came out. We were both living at home with our parents and didn't get a chance to be alone until about 2 weeks after we first met. We did kiss and dry hump leading up to the bang, so we pretty much knew we were going to fuck when we got the opportunity. Pre-bang, I watched enough porn and read literature so I knew what I wanted to do and wasn't that nervous. I lasted about 5 minutes before I blew my first in-pussy load.

We ended up seeing each other for a year after that. I never told her that I was a virgin and that she was my first.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

I told my first that I was a virgin but it was a pretty crazy encounter so I wouldn't recommend it. There was a lot of coke involved, for example.

[travolta]

Enjoy fucking a high schooler. I wish I had access to high schoolers (of legal age of course). Teenagers are the best.

[SUPER1NE]

(05-19-2015 04:06 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

Hopefully you have practiced putting the condom on already. That can be a buzzkill if it takes you a few tries. Eventually you will figure out which brands are easiest for you to get on and stick with those.

at this point I can finger and go down on a chick while getting the condom on and she is already really wet by the time I am banging and there is no weird pauses or whatnot.

above all, don't chicken out. remember that if you want sex, you have to be the one to initiate it and make it happen, every step of the way. get her into your bed, tell her what you are going to do. "oh let me give you the rest of the tour, here is my room. we can watch a movie/listen to music/whatever you have in mind."

"don't freak out, I'm taking your shirt off".

"im taking your pants off now."

"I am taking off your panties".

"I am about to start fingering you"

"I am going to fuck you so good"

you can try something like that after you have been making out for a bit and you keep on escalating.(I stole most of this from mikecf, it works good)

I often get resistance at the panties, if that happens, just keep making out, sucking her tits, playing with her boobs, you can massage her clitoris on top of her underwear to get her more turned on. Option to slide your middle finger palm up into her snatch and find the spongy part with the tip of your middle finger. You probably do not want to finger her so much that she orgasms, but some girls cum really easily. Your goal is to fuck her.

Hopefully you have some idea of what you are going to do, and not just going to wing it.

(05-19-2015 06:01 AM)MrXY Wrote:  

Do NOT tell her that you are a virgin or let on that you are sexually inexperienced; that is a big turnoff for most girls.

I think she's picked up on that by the things I say, when we discuss sex. Like she'll be telling me how X people love doing certain things, and I'll usually be like "I wouldn't know but..." she usually just smiles. I think she's doesn't mind. I haven't told her in explicitly that I am a virgin, but she's not dumb as rocks. She knows. Yet she still blows up my phone and wants to hang. So safe to assume, the virginity thing is somewhat novel to her. That's why I wonder if I just tell her that I'm inexperienced when we get to my bed, she'll guide* me (for a lack of a better word). I don't care about who dominates in the bed, I'm just concerned about fucking this broad. It's going on my first time anyway. Thoughts?

(05-19-2015 04:06 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

Hopefully you have practiced putting the condom on already. That can be a buzzkill if it takes you a few tries. Eventually you will figure out which brands are easiest for you to get on and stick with those.

at this point I can finger and go down on a chick while getting the condom on and she is already really wet by the time I am banging and there is no weird pauses or whatnot.

above all, don't chicken out. remember that if you want sex, you have to be the one to initiate it and make it happen, every step of the way. get her into your bed, tell her what you are going to do. "oh let me give you the rest of the tour, here is my room. we can watch a movie/listen to music/whatever you have in mind."

"don't freak out, I'm taking your shirt off".

"im taking your pants off now."

"I am taking off your panties".

"I am about to start fingering you"

"I am going to fuck you so good"

you can try something like that after you have been making out for a bit and you keep on escalating.(I stole most of this from mikecf, it works good)

I often get resistance at the panties, if that happens, just keep making out, sucking her tits, playing with her boobs, you can massage her clitoris on top of her underwear to get her more turned on. Option to slide your middle finger palm up into her snatch and find the spongy part with the tip of your middle finger. You probably do not want to finger her so much that she orgasms, but some girls cum really easily. Your goal is to fuck her.

Hopefully you have some idea of what you are going to do, and not just going to wing it.

(05-19-2015 09:53 AM)CH-Toronto Wrote:  

(05-19-2015 04:06 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

Hopefully you have practiced putting the condom on already. That can be a buzzkill if it takes you a few tries. Eventually you will figure out which brands are easiest for you to get on and stick with those.

at this point I can finger and go down on a chick while getting the condom on and she is already really wet by the time I am banging and there is no weird pauses or whatnot.

above all, don't chicken out. remember that if you want sex, you have to be the one to initiate it and make it happen, every step of the way. get her into your bed, tell her what you are going to do. "oh let me give you the rest of the tour, here is my room. we can watch a movie/listen to music/whatever you have in mind."

"don't freak out, I'm taking your shirt off".

"im taking your pants off now."

"I am taking off your panties".

"I am about to start fingering you"

"I am going to fuck you so good"

you can try something like that after you have been making out for a bit and you keep on escalating.(I stole most of this from mikecf, it works good)

I often get resistance at the panties, if that happens, just keep making out, sucking her tits, playing with her boobs, you can massage her clitoris on top of her underwear to get her more turned on. Option to slide your middle finger palm up into her snatch and find the spongy part with the tip of your middle finger. You probably do not want to finger her so much that she orgasms, but some girls cum really easily. Your goal is to fuck her.

Hopefully you have some idea of what you are going to do, and not just going to wing it.

While I'm going to agree with most of this - especially in terms of practicing putting on the condom. Don't go full Consent for Bros. Notice eradicator's wording. SAY what you're doing - don't ask for "permission".

I actually didn't practise that before she came today, I had just looked at the condom packaging. Inside was a little paper showing how to correctly wear one, I think I will should try it out before she comes again. Thanks mate. CH - Toronto, the don't ask permission part resonates with me, I was always rather scared to escalate with girls in the past. Then I'd hear/see the things they would do with more assertive guys, I saw my shy somewhat nice guy behaviour was not only leading to nothing but actually frustrating the girls. They (high school girls) would usually stop crushing on me after I failed to escalate when with them countless times. I will keep that in mind when she comes back to my place.

[MrXY]

So what happened?

[eradicator]

Good, you have the opportunity to start gaming other girls and banging them. Keep banging this one assuming you already banged her.

[SUPER1NE]

(05-19-2015 02:03 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

the other thing I forgot, if you don't get the bang on your first date, maybe she puts up last minute resistance after you get her naked, or before, whichever, if she has a good time overall, she may bang on the second date. Girls want sex, sure, but they also do not want to feel like a slut. Don't get emotional, just pull back and restart. never get upset, you are doing good to just get a girl over. have fun.

She came over, just before 4. She was supposed to come around 11am, she had accompanied a friend to the hospital and ended up being there until 1 (long queues in public hospitals are the norm here), then when she was leaving ran into other friends who dragged her away (she asked me if it was okay, I somewhat foolishly agreed thinking it would be a 10 minute thing) . She managed to leave at half 3 and came to my place, she was hilariously high (the friend she ran into is a wild one too, dragged her to get high then she lost track of time, she (the friend) actually once offered me sex on Facebook last year, being a beta bitch with dreams of losing my virginity to model like girls never got me far.. I laughed off her advances)

When she got here, it was already late as my dad would be coming home with my mum and younger sister anytime. So she only stayed for like 20 mins, we talked a bit and I told her to come back another time when we have time to "hang" and when she wasn't so high. She laughed and said she'd come when I'd call her over. I had caught a bit of a cold in the morning out of the blue, that probably was a sign that today wouldn't be my day. That plus my father suddenly showing up when I was waiting for the girl to show up, he eventually left however.

Although I didn't get to bang, I'm not too beat up about it. The girl likes spending time talking to me and wants to be around me. Surely, that is a good sign? I just need to have the house alone (very difficult because my dad usually works from home and never tells us when he'll be back when he leaves the house) then she'll come back. I will probably try my luck and invite her over again soon.

[SUPER1NE]

(05-19-2015 05:13 PM)h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:  

I told my first that I was a virgin but it was a pretty crazy encounter so I wouldn't recommend it. There was a lot of coke involved, for example.

This seems to be a fun story, care to share?

[SUPER1NE]

I thought of inviting the girl over tomorrow but I'll be out of town and Friday is not a good day as my mum and sister return home from school even earlier than they usually do. I'll most likely see her again next week, she apologised profusely when she got her. That is probably a good thing, maybe she'll "make it up to me"

I know this girl is interested, but I'm still a bit nervous. I think I'll need to get a few beers before she comes over again to help me relax. People never seem to be nervous, when some of friends tell me about losing their virginity, they say that they weren't nervous. Heck, I don't get how one can NOT be nervous. I need to calm my nerves a bit and handle business when she comes back.

On the plus side, some weeks ago. I reached out to a girl who was a senior in high school when I was a junior. She's 23 now, and works in other town. Reached out to her on Facebook and got her number. She liked me back in the day but as you would have guessed I never did anything about that. She was receptive, and said she's down for a hook up when she's back. She only leaves her town one a month and her home isn't near where I live. So logistics are a bit of a bitch. I'd have to figure something out but she's another possible fuck.

I also have a friend who is a virgin, I went to see her last week and we had planned to go her house. When we got there, she was reluctant as her family was there . We never got in, just ended up hanging around. initially she said she would introduce me as a church mate (we aren't) and we'd go to her room.. We've always talked about fucking, but never really got around taking action. This past weekend I was home with my brother, and the rest were out. I invited her over but she flaked on me after saying she'd come. She is rather difficult, she wants to fuck but seems like she wants to be begged and have her ego stroked.I have been ignoring her, she usually texts she misses me after some weeks or months. After this past weekend, I haven't spoken to her. Should I text her and try arrange something with her as well? or let her send me the "I miss you" texts she usually sends after we haven't spoken in her while? She's has a dreamy body, I do want to fuck her but she likes being difficult.

I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket. looking into other girls, I reached out to some girls liked me over the years but they didn't reply or weren't too enthusiastic so it would be waste of time pursuing further. It's funny how girls who liked me (some even wanted to fuck) now ignore me. I don't blame them, I was beta they moved on to guys who quickly did what I failed to. Use their feelings to their benefit (sex). Thinking back to all the girls I've missed out on, rather shambolic. Everyday I'm grateful an ex broke my heart and I discovered RoK and this forum.

[SUPER1NE]

Hi everyone, sorry for my previous ramblings anyway UPDATE,

The girl came over again today. Suffice to say, I failed to accomplish what I set out to get. I was crippled by fear.

She's around my home, so I go to her and we walk back to my house. I lead her straight to my brother's room. It's bigger and it's were the computer is ( also there a huge bed literally centimetres away) So we chilling, talking and she asks me to put a movie on. We're sitting, watching the movie everything going alright. Then a joke about eating pussy is said in the movie, we both laugh and I show her a picture I have on my phone regarding pussy eating and she laughs.

Seeing this as an opportunity to steer the conversation towards sex, I (stupidly) blurt out "are you on your period", she's a bit surprised but says that she isn't. "Good, because I'm going to eat your pussy". She laughs and says "NO, you're not" at that point, I was mumbling, my mind was working overtime trying to come with something clever to say. I eventually say "Ha, you're not serious" trying to laugh it off.

It wasn't awkward after that but after I was paralysed by fear. A couple of mins later, I left to the kitchen to make some hotdogs (and attempt to regain composure). I got back and we continued watching the movie.

Anyway, after we just chilleda and talked about a lot. We eventually got to talking about sex, and she said she doesn't like when someone goes down on her because a guy did if to her and he was horrible (somehow hurt her, can't begin to fathom how he managed to do that). Maybe that's the reason, idk. I just couldn't get myself to attempt to escalate.

I was scared shitless and nervous. She was around for almost 4 hours. We eventually left when my brother got back home, and I walked her back where she linked up with her friend.

Before she left, she asked if she can come over again sometime. Not wanting to be an eager fool, I told her I'll get back to her when she can. Her wanting to return, is a good sign I assume?

She must be really confused as to why I haven't attempted anything with her, as I've said before she's a wild one. I need help. How do I overcome the initial fear and nervousness? I think I need to get drunk before she comes over again... A little Dutch courage ought to help a bit. Today was horrible...

[Remington]

So, did you even escalate by going for a make out after your period/eating box joke? Seemed like you made a decent recovery once yall got back to talking about sex. Once the movie started, you should have started escalating the physical contact.

No worries man, this stuff happens. You have a second chance to bang her since she requested coming back over. Since you did not escalate, she might no longer see you in a sexual way. Don't turn into her emotional tampon and establish dominance.

[SUPER1NE]

   

^^^
That is the picture I showed her.

[CH-Toronto]

Oh God! That was painful to read. So much cringing.

But--

Quote:

Before she left, she asked if she can come over again sometime. Not wanting to be an eager fool, I told her I'll get back to her when she can. Her wanting to return, is a good sign I assume?

Seems like you're not completely done yet.

When you watch the movie next time, sit close next to her (legs touching), and about 15 minutes in just grab her and kiss her randomly. Yes the 'fear of rejection' is always looming, but remember - you're the man- you have to make the first move.

[Ziltoid]

Cease masturbating and looking at porn. At all. Until you get laid.

There is no human emotion more powerful than horny... It drowns out nervousness and fear, it gives you the patience to put up with a girl's annoying mannerisms and pretend to pay attention to the nonsense she says.

So, you need to make yourself horny.

Aside from not jerking off, there are other things that will raise your testosterone (and thus, your sex drive), but they're more long term than short term.

Take freezing ass cold showers.
Eat more fat.
If you don't already, lift weights.

Best of luck.

[dark_g]

(05-26-2015 02:37 PM)SUPER1NE Wrote:  

Hi everyone, sorry for my previous ramblings anyway UPDATE,

The girl came over again today. Suffice to say, I failed to accomplish what I set out to get. I was crippled by fear.

She's around my home, so I go to her and we walk back to my house. I lead her straight to my brother's room. It's bigger and it's were the computer is ( also there a huge bed literally centimetres away) So we chilling, talking and she asks me to put a movie on. We're sitting, watching the movie everything going alright. Then a joke about eating pussy is said in the movie, we both laugh and I show her a picture I have on my phone regarding pussy eating and she laughs.

Seeing this as an opportunity to steer the conversation towards sex, I (stupidly) blurt out "are you on your period", she's a bit surprised but says that she isn't. "Good, because I'm going to eat your pussy". She laughs and says "NO, you're not" at that point, I was mumbling, my mind was working overtime trying to come with something clever to say. I eventually say "Ha, you're not serious" trying to laugh it off.

It wasn't awkward after that but after I was paralysed by fear. A couple of mins later, I left to the kitchen to make some hotdogs (and attempt to regain composure). I got back and we continued watching the movie.

Anyway, after we just chilleda and talked about a lot. We eventually got to talking about sex, and she said she doesn't like when someone goes down on her because a guy did if to her and he was horrible (somehow hurt her, can't begin to fathom how he managed to do that). Maybe that's the reason, idk. I just couldn't get myself to attempt to escalate.

I was scared shitless and nervous. She was around for almost 4 hours. We eventually left when my brother got back home, and I walked her back where she linked up with her friend.

Before she left, she asked if she can come over again sometime. Not wanting to be an eager fool, I told her I'll get back to her when she can. Her wanting to return, is a good sign I assume?

She must be really confused as to why I haven't attempted anything with her, as I've said before she's a wild one. I need help. How do I overcome the initial fear and nervousness? I think I need to get drunk before she comes over again... A little Dutch courage ought to help a bit. Today was horrible...

I think you moved too fast and caught her off guard. You went right for the eating pussy joke and made things awkward. Maybe I shouldn't say too fast, but more like out of sequence. If you got her juices flowing and heated her up, she might have been more receptive to the eating pussy comment.

The "are you on your period?" question might have been a turnoff also. Most women are not going to let you eat them out when they are on the rag, especially the first time. You totally caught her by surprise with that and it could of killed her mood.

The good thing is she wants to see you again. When you see her again, don't ask permission, just let things flow. Touching, kissing...you know the drill.

I think your nerves got the best of you last time because you went out of sequence. Escalate gradually and you will also build confidence.