[INegUThenLol]

Anybody ever had a girl constantly push for meeting for dinners, especially for the very first meet-ups?

It's this Chinese FOB chick that's a friend of a friend, whenever I suggest to meet up she wants to go to eat at some restaurant. I keep dodging it simply because 1) don't wanna be stuck there for 1+ hours with her 2) am doing my fitness nutrition plan. yeah sure I could fit in a restaurant visit but see no point of spending 15+€ for food when I can eat cheaper at home, especially with some random girl 3) the awkwardness of paying arrangements 4) sitting across each other, no chance of escalating, no physical contact 5) beta bait to extract some dollars

Keep redirecting to meet up at a bar or wherever but she seems adamant on that eating out idea. She's not a 10/10 catch so I see no point in taking her up on it, but how could I just circumvent this issue altogether without seeming cheap or weird?

[CleanSlate]

Someone on the forum suggested to me that the earliest time I pitch for a meet up should be 8 pm or preferably later. She'll get hungry and eat on her own before coming out to meet you.

[Apollo21]

There's nothing wrong with a casual dinner date if you do it right.
The secret is to turn it to your advantage.

Dinners are fine if you can find a quiet spot like a cafe
where you can sit next to the girl like in an L shape or in the corner.

Those are perfect because you can do some serious physical
escalation, talking etc. without being separated.

I see no problem with paying for the first date. It shouldn't be an issue.
Sometimes though when paying the bill, I'll just ask her if she's got change
or a five or something to contribute to the bill.

[brick tamland]

Tell her casually that since she's so fond of restaurants she could treat you to a dining experience (meaning she should pay) because you're not the sit-down-and-eat-on-a-date type but you'll make an exception on this day and at this time ______ which absolutely MUST NOT be the same day/time she suggests. Then do the trick of making her wait for you for a few minutes by arriving a bit early but hanging unseen nearby and when she checks if you're on your way, tell her you'll be right there.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

If her interest was real on getting to know you she wouldn't be 'pushing hard' for a meal

[WalterBlack]

(04-13-2015 01:40 PM)INegUThenLol Wrote:  

Anybody ever had a girl constantly push for meeting for dinners, especially for the very first meet-ups?

It's this Chinese FOB chick that's a friend of a friend, whenever I suggest to meet up she wants to go to eat at some restaurant. I keep dodging it simply because 1) don't wanna be stuck there for 1+ hours with her 2) am doing my fitness nutrition plan. yeah sure I could fit in a restaurant visit but see no point of spending 15+€ for food when I can eat cheaper at home, especially with some random girl 3) the awkwardness of paying arrangements 4) sitting across each other, no chance of escalating, no physical contact 5) beta bait to extract some dollars

Keep redirecting to meet up at a bar or wherever but she seems adamant on that eating out idea. She's not a 10/10 catch so I see no point in taking her up on it, but how could I just circumvent this issue altogether without seeming cheap or weird?

If you can’t bear to spend an hour with this woman, why hang out with her at all? Do you want to date her or is it just for the bang?

A lot of Chinese FOB girls don't drink, so a bar might not be an option. How about this - suggest meeting for a coffee in a part of town where there’s a lot of restaurants, and then say you decide where to eat when you get there, because there’s a lot of options. That way you can go for a walk (pretending to find a place) with her and escalate from there.

Sometimes I meet for a coffee at 830 to 9 at places which close at 10pm with big parking lots, which are not near bars. After the coffee places closes we sit in her or my car and I escalate from there. Most restaurants close at 10, so there's nothing else to do except sit in the car.

I did have a FOB Taiwanese woman constantly push for dinner, and then in the end I managed to get her to come her to my place.

[Rawmeo]

The recipe is very simple: Just Say No.

Tell her that you're not a fan of dinner dates and bring her elsewhere.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Seems like she has you pegged as a provider type

Based off her attempting to impose the frame of the 1st date by insisting on dinner it's a nextable offense

[INegUThenLol]

(04-13-2015 02:09 PM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  

If her interest was real on getting to know you she wouldn't be 'pushing hard' for a meal

Yeah I know, that's the feeling I'm getting too. I mean usually you'd suggest to eat out, if the other party can't or won't you'd just go "oh well then let's do something else", not this pushing

I told her that she could cook something exotically Chinese, she says she doesn't cook (nice red flag there) and wants me to cook for her since I told her that I eat at home. Nice self-invite I guess but I'm currently in a slightly dire small (REALLY small) apartment situation where I don't even really have room for a table to eat at. Will considering this idea to cook some easy shit for her at my or her place I guess.

I still mostly feel that she was pushing for the restaurant to check some beta provider trait like "I expect you to eat with me at a fancy place!". I just told her that I don't usually eat out in the evenings since I cook at home. Will see if I can turn that cook-at-home thing in my favor.

She told me she's constantly eating out with her friends because she can't cook. I don't understand such wasteful people, but then again she's a FOB Chinese

(04-13-2015 01:43 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Someone on the forum suggested to me that the earliest time I pitch for a meet up should be 8 pm or preferably later. She'll get hungry and eat on her own before coming out to meet you.

Yeah I know, that's my go-to tactic too, people are more adventurous and frisky in the evening, it's just that she asked me to eat out right after work. Good thing that I just go to the gym right after work so I'm only free to meet at 20 and later anyway, by that time she should've managed to eat something on her own

(04-13-2015 02:11 PM)WalterBlack Wrote:  

If you can’t bear to spend an hour with this woman, why hang out with her at all? Do you want to date her or is it just for the bang?

It's not even that, I just hate being STUCK somewhere for longer than an hour. At a bar you can finish the drink about bounce to another place or go around outside, in a restaurant you're commited. Later on after you've got chemistry or are digging the chick, sure, for the first dates no thanks

[Fortis]

If you can get her to come over I would suggest cooking something light. If she gets too full she won't feel like banging.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Even with a small place, all it takes is some imagination to turn it into a cool night. Grab some bean bags & a blanket and have a picnic in the living room. Pull out the laptop and put on a flick. You know the rest...

If you don't feel comfortable at your spot, take her to grab ingredients and have it at hers (like you said)

Play a game with her being your trusty cooking assistant

Add alcohol to the grub (if she drinks)

This could play right into your hands my man

* non-cooking and begging for dinner dates - 2 huge red flags

[Sonoma]

Try to do something free (my usual is a trip to the beach) and follow it with a "and then get food"

If she totally sucks, bail on the food
If she's worthwhile, bring her back to your house for food

How friend of a friend is she? Plan B is always do dinner date, then bail halfway through if she sucks.

[INegUThenLol]

(04-13-2015 03:23 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

Try to do something free (my usual is a trip to the beach) and follow it with a "and then get food"

How friend of a friend is she? Plan B is always do dinner date, then bail halfway through if she sucks.

It's cold out here, would really wish I lived somewhere nice and warm to do stuff outside. She's a friend of a girlfriend of a brother of a friend so..... kinda distant really.

You guys seriously underestimate what I mean by "small place", it's just a bed, table, chair, some drawers and a kitchen. But actually it's fine, I'll just test it out and wing it. After all, if she can't handle me at my worst then she doesn't deserve me at my best ~~~ Eat.Pray.Bang

[eljeffster]

I like dinner dates- at my place. I already need to eat and it is cheap to make extra for her. Win-win if she is late or pulls a no show cause you haven't wasted time trying to meet her. If she doesn't want to come over then you have easily screened her out.

For the dinner I like to make something that simmers on the stove so I can just leave it there and forget it a while. That way when she comes over, you can show her around while it is "finishing." Sometimes we will even bang before dinner.

PS leave pots or pans in the sink and don't clear your plate from the table. I am amazed at how many women will do the dishes for you (another screening tool).

[Parlay44]

This is your chance to shit test her.

Dinner sounds good. You're buying right?

I could go for a burrito. Let's go to Taco Bell.

They have peanuts at the bar.

Or you could go über-direct. Sex first. Food later.

Don't worry about pissing them off. They've already insulted you so you've got nothing to lose. They like that ballsy shit anyway.

[WestIndianArchie]

In the common parlance

YOU GOT THE GAME FUCKED UP HOMIE.

There are plenty schools of thought on this subject, but I'll start with the main one.

A CHICK NEVER DICTATES WHAT YOU DO.

Second, if you're both in college, she needs to chill.

Third, fresh off the boat chinese chick
- she could be filthy fucking rich, and just wants to take you out
- she could be one of them CBS, chinese bible study bitches, and she wants you for a boyfriend. Which means, at your current level of game, that pussy will be entirely under her control.

Fourth, What's your game looking like?

Lotta dudes in the game prefer to be penny pinchers rather than pimps.
Philosophers over players.

Even if you're one of those principled players that says a bitch can't get a dollar out of you, if you want to get good at this, you have to be able to take her out, feed her some lo mein, so you can give her Kum of Sum Yum Gai.

I'm not detecting that you know how to talk to a bitch.
More importantly, I'm not detecting that you even understand that you have to talk your way into this chicks forbidden kingdom.

Me, if a chick want's pizza, no prob, she'll get some extra pepperoni at the end of the night.

Now if you sense the chick is just trying to juice you, head out to the spot, let her order whatever she wants, get yourself a water or something. Pay your half of the bill and bounce. She gets what she deserves.

On the other hand, if she's a traditional chick (doesn't sound like it), maybe that's all she needs is a sign of your good will in order to drop the panties.

But by your description of the situation, it sounds like you just want the pussy to fall from the heavens.

You've got to put in some work.

So either, you set the frame early on and tell the chick what you're going to do. And if she balks, you walk. Guarantee, there's 500 million of her out there.

If you want to work on your conversion game, take her out and rap to her. Don't get her drunk on rice wine and shit, you want to be able to talk her into sex while she's stone cold sober.

Otherwise, you're asking for DATING advice on a GAME board.

WIA

(04-13-2015 01:40 PM)INegUThenLol Wrote:  

Anybody ever had a girl constantly push for meeting for dinners, especially for the very first meet-ups?

It's this Chinese FOB chick that's a friend of a friend, whenever I suggest to meet up she wants to go to eat at some restaurant. I keep dodging it simply because 1) don't wanna be stuck there for 1+ hours with her 2) am doing my fitness nutrition plan. yeah sure I could fit in a restaurant visit but see no point of spending 15+€ for food when I can eat cheaper at home, especially with some random girl 3) the awkwardness of paying arrangements 4) sitting across each other, no chance of escalating, no physical contact 5) beta bait to extract some dollars

Keep redirecting to meet up at a bar or wherever but she seems adamant on that eating out idea. She's not a 10/10 catch so I see no point in taking her up on it, but how could I just circumvent this issue altogether without seeming cheap or weird?

[Captain Gh]

West is Bang on on this one!! It alright of not being sure about what to do, but it's there's an issue when you simply don't have a clue about what to do! You gotta strengthen your Game foundation just like your did with your nutrition plan! Read or re-read Bang and apply the Bounce technique of scheduling mini dates at 2 different close-by location!

As a newbie this technique saved my life until my ramble Game got strong! You might have lost the first half of the battle, so you might have to set up the Dinner Date that she want, but don't let her nothing past that! Try to pick the spot but if you're too far behind, go to her spot and frame the second mini date as a surprise to get her into doing what you want.

But no matter what don't Bail on her because that's a perfect occasion to practice your dating game. I'm a firm believer of sticking out there until she really wants nothing to do with you anymore. View this one as you earning your stripes my friend!

[Brodiaga]

Learn to cook a couple of good meals, meet for a drink near your place then invite her over to your place to cook together.

[Carlos100]

Some really good suggestions here. Remember, in East Asia eating food is a more accepted and expected part of any kind of social meetup, at least in Japan and Korea. I assume China is similar. So, I don't think you should necessarily conclude that she sees you as a beta provider. As others have said here, there are ways to provide food but in a manner that allows for escalation and won't cause you excessive cost.

[INegUThenLol]

Thx for the comments, I think WIA went a bit overboard with his assumptions since I forgot to mention that I already met her for drinks before that so there was a bit of familiarity already.

Anyway, she confirmed that she will be coming over for some cooking with a blushing emote next week since she has some kind of eye inflammation. Excuse or not, it doesn't matter, have other more interesting dates lined up anyway, I'm in no rush. Will report how the cookery went when it's done.

Now I gotta scrounge up some easy but good thai curry recipe from somewhere

[Carlos100]

(04-16-2015 02:47 AM)INegUThenLol Wrote:  

Thx for the comments, I think WIA went a bit overboard with his assumptions since I forgot to mention that I already met her for drinks before that so there was a bit of familiarity already.

Anyway, she confirmed that she will be coming over for some cooking with a blushing emote next week since she has some kind of eye inflammation. Excuse or not, it doesn't matter, have other more interesting dates lined up anyway, I'm in no rush. Will report how the cookery went when it's done.

Now I gotta scrounge up some easy but good thai curry recipe from somewhere

Shrimp and garlic in butter/olive oil with some Thai or black pepper is an easy one and girls love it. Pair it with some white wine or sweet Chinese liquor and a salad with chocolate for dessert. Easy-peasy.

[WestIndianArchie]

I held back actually.

I'm not trying to get banned.

WIA

(04-16-2015 02:47 AM)INegUThenLol Wrote:  

Thx for the comments, I think WIA went a bit overboard with his assumptions since I forgot to mention that I already met her for drinks before that so there was a bit of familiarity already.

Anyway, she confirmed that she will be coming over for some cooking with a blushing emote next week since she has some kind of eye inflammation. Excuse or not, it doesn't matter, have other more interesting dates lined up anyway, I'm in no rush. Will report how the cookery went when it's done.

Now I gotta scrounge up some easy but good thai curry recipe from somewhere

[eradicator]

Yes, either get her to come over and you heat up some grub you picked up at trader joes or you next her. WTF@ bitches demanding for dinner dates on the second date.

restaurants are a reward for women that you have been having really hot sex with for months and worth keeping around. not second dates, just gtfo with this nonsense.

[Spike]

I always find it very hard to give advice on cases like this without knowing how the whole interaction went down with the girl beforehand. Without knowing how the vibe between the two is, the attitude of both people and how the body language is. We essentially know nothing to give specific advice on.

The way the girl suggests the dinners, the way the guy refuses, her reaction including her body language etc etc.

To make matters worse, the op changes the story after half a dozen advice's (he met for drinks with her beforehand).

The general advice is, never do dinner dates for at least the first 2 or 3 times you meet up. There are so many options for a meet up, eating ice cream, meeting for a drink, walk in the park etc etc. If you don't know by then of the girl is in to you, you're doing something really wrong. By the third meet, you should have had sex already.

Besides all this, these FOB Chinese girls can be very naive. Trust me on that. My apartment building is loaded with young Chinese students. In my opinion its best to be straightforward and say stuff like "I like you, we should go for a drink sometime. How about this week?". Her reaction then, should give you all the info you need.

It may sound beta, but we all can't be James Bond with perfect lines to say ( something a screenwriter pained his brain on for days). I always find it best to make my intentions known as quickly as possible to eliminate the friend zone. Start a flirty vibe as soon as possible. Girls are not stupid, they know what up usually.

[Spike]

I advise against a dinner date at home. Girls will be very uncomfortable with this. Especially if they don't know you very well.

If she's already giving you strong vibes its a different case but with neutral to slight interest l wouldn't do it.

Unless you're professional cook, you won't impress her.