[kinjutsu]

I need some advice, although i think i may have already fucked up...

In January things ended with a girl who i had dated on and off since late February 2014.
She cut contact with me and i haven't contacted her since.
This was at the end of January 2015.

Fast forward to today i check my Facebook and see a message from a guy.
He sent the message last week morning at April 3rd 2:22am

This is a copy and paste of the message he sent me.

"Hey, we don't know each other but you've been with *name of girl* and I am currently dating her. I really need to talk to you about how she acted when she was with you. I've heard of her rape allegations against you but at this point I don't know what to believe and may quite potentially be in the same boat that you were (assuming you're not as bad of a guy as she makes you out to be.) give me a call or text me anytime tomorrow" *number to contact him at*

After i read this, i sent him a few text messages describing the behavior i witnessed when we dated.

A few things to get out of the way:

She lied a lot to the extent that her parents had the police investigate me. The police told them that i
wasn't a threat etc.

I don't have a criminal record of any kind. Not even a jay walking ticket.
I have 1 car accident on my record, she was in the car for. It was a hit and run and the my car got written off.



Did i fuck up by contacting him? Should i have kept silent?

If so, how badly did i screw myself legally?

Can the police launch an investigation based off the texts i sent to this guy? Nothing mentioning my behavior just things i personally witnessed or things she eventually confessed to me.

I kinda feel bad for the guy if he's dealing with her.
I see all these guys being accused of rape and i wouldn't wish that fate on him because the girl is able to make his toes curl during sex.

I'm not 100% sure if this is legit or not but i wouldn't put this type of behavior past her considering the type of things she was doing when i was seeing her.

Just a quick list of the things she did before:

• Would routinely lie to me about where she was and who she was with
• Got caught with weed and booze by the cops in a back alley with a guy she knew, denied anything happened
• Got high and drunk at a house of a guy she didn't know, ended with her getting banged out by him and his 2 roommates
• Lied to me about various sexual acts she did or didn't do when we were together
  

[Suits]

Have you admitted to anything that could be construed as criminal?

If not, I think you are fine. In the future, stick to phone calls, as even if they are recorded, it's very difficult to prove which phone number they came from.

[kinjutsu]

I didn't admit to anything criminal.
I did mention her being drunk and high and making bad choices during intoxication. She got the booze and weed on her own without my assistance.
I made it a point to never let her get too fucked up around me even though she routinely told me she loved me.

I used a burner number to text from, it's not connected to my real name.

[BBinger]

Get a lawyer and tell him to do the same. Let your lawyers work together. If you stay in contact with him, make it clear to him that she is a threat to his freedom.

[kinjutsu]

I forgot to mention she's tried to kill herself on several occasions.
She texted me in the middle of the night claiming she took a bunch of her meds.
The next morning when i didn't hear from her i contacted her parents and informed them about it. The had her admitted to the hospital for a psyche hold.

[BBinger]

If it wasn't for shield laws such things could be useful at trial. The other guy could verify stuff if you both have lawyers that can arrange cooperation. A serious danger is prosecutors push pleas.

This girl sounds incredibly damaged and dangerous. Maybe she's a child sex abuse victim? What matters more is you own interest in maintaining your personal liberty. Keep you distance and cover your ass.

[kinjutsu]

She was most definitely a child sex abuse victim.
She told me a few times that her dad sexually abused her and her 2 sisters when they were younger.

I wonder if the shield law still applies when i was actually involved in one of the attempts?

[BBinger]

Shield law wouldn't apply to you. Only to the "victim" which mean if she targets the new guy for legal harassment of the sort you experienced you could be very helpful to his cause.

[kinjutsu]

She never targeted me for legal harassment of any kind.
I've never been visited or even contacted by the police in my life, let alone in regards to this girl.

When i was dating her, her parents didn't like me so they had the cops do a few background checks and dig into my past (two different times months apart) and both times they came back with nothing. The police told her parents that i wasn't a threat and there's nothing they could do to stop her from dating me.

Then there was an incident when she physically fought off her parents and the police were called. When she made the statement to the police officer she said that she really wanted to be with me and marry me if i would accept her despite all the issues her and i had.

Keep in mind this was all said to me when she actively wanted to be with me and was vocal about her love to me, to the extent she routinely took the bus to my house in -20 weather.

Also for those wondering I've long moved on from this girl, there is no kind of oneitis or thinking she was some special snowflake that i put on a pedestal
During this entire time i had a "main girl" that I've been seeing since fall of 2012, this girl is my on paper girlfriend.
So this BPD girl was essentially the side chick. She never found out about my main girl.

The last time i reconnected with her i was extremely clear that if she was gonna disappear on me again that she shouldn't come back and that i was finished with dealing with her...I'm thinking her saying this shit to this guy is a way to "Get Revenge" on me in some way.

Crazy bitches be crazy.

[Sp5]

(04-09-2015 01:18 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

She was most definitely a child sex abuse victim.
She told me a few times that her dad sexually abused her and her 2 sisters when they were younger.

I wonder if the shield law still applies when i was actually involved in one of the attempts?

Why would her saying she was sexually abused by her dad be any more truthful than anything else she says? Some people are just screwed up for chemical reasons. But if she's saying it, her dad might be an ally. Of course, don't contact him now.

I wouldn't worry too much - she's such a messed up person unlikely she has the organization or credibility to make charges against you.

Also look at this:

RVF Forum: How to prevent and defend against false rape and domestic violence charges

[Simeon_Strangelight]

I would not worry about it too much. Keep all the texts.

The talk you had with that other guy is not really incriminating - both of you having similar experiences and fears makes your case stronger. You should not have put it down in texts, but unless you wrote a text about having raped her for real, you are fine with that.

There is one way to clear any potential rape threat once and forever.

You could re-initiate contact with her, tell her you miss her and think about her all the time and if she would want to give it another chance. Keep all the texts and record all conversations. If she is all positive, then meet with her and record a talk at which you gently steer the conversation to potential rape allegations. "I hope you were never gonna accuse me of rape, wouldn't you baby? Because in our crazy times you never know. I never raped you did I?" You could even record it with one of those cheap hidden video cams.

If she says everything and confirms that she would like to come together, you either bang her and get it on video or better just make out and tell her that you have to think about your future together and let her go.

If you are a buddy you could mention that other guy and get her to talk about him and if he was a rather good guy or a rapist - and that you hope he did not rape you. She will likely say no and then that other guy is off the hook too.

That kind of audio-record and video is just too strong as evidence. Check out if it is admissible before court - even if not, you just leak it to the net and say that it was stolen. No way in hell will you be convicted with the evidence against the conviction being online. Even our decrepit feminist legal system would get in trouble and so would judges and prosecutors - admissible or not.

Yeah - I know that you would be messing with her head, but it's purely for self-defense. Record all talks with her in the future and also best keep all receipts and alibis. The very same hidden watch-camera can help you with that - just set the settings on taking one pic per 30 minutes to confirm that you are where you say you are.

For the future - BPD bitches are good for the lowest level of fuck - meaning fucking without giving her even your name or address. She does not even reach sane ONS or fuckbuddy level. But we live and learn - I don't think that you are in danger.

[kinjutsu]

@ Sp5

The comment about the rape shield law was referring to the question if her attempting suicide and contacting me, texting me a picture of the medication she took would be admissible in court because i myself had witnessed it and it wasn't hearsay.

Her dad is definitely not an ally. Both of her parents do not like like me at all.
They were never a fan of us two dating to begin with.

I've not been contacted by the police about her for any matter. This includes but not limited to: Allegations of assault, rape, giving me a restraining order or any other matter.
This info is only from her current bf.

[kinjutsu]

@Zelcorpion

Contacting her again isn't on the table. I'm done dealing with her.
Her parents made it extremely clear that i wasn't to contact her after they came by my place to pick up some random things she had left at my house.
I don't know what kind of legal booby trap i could walk into if i contact her again with such a strong and clear warning.

The only issue is that i didn't keep any of the texts her and i sent back and forth.
In an absolute pinch i could contact my cell phone provider and get a print out.

Also there was a large amount of Skype video conversations that went on for hours and hours prior to her cutting things off.
I'm sure i could find a record of those within my Skype account.

Worst comes to worst i could recover the texts within my phone as proof, but this situation isn't about a drunken hook up she regrets.

Things were good and cool up until the day after she came over and i showed her self-defense things for 3hrs house. We fucked and relaxed and watched a movie and then she took the bus home. We talked that night and made plans to meet up the next day to continue the self-defense session. All of this was verbal communication.
The next day is when she cut all contact.

[VolandoVengoVolandoVoy]

What is BDP?

This chick sounds like a real prize.

Even if she was a hard 9 and could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, I would stay the fuck away.

She sounds like she might have some sort of psychotic or personality disorder. There is no cure for something like that, people don't get better, they just have periods where their symptoms are more or less evident. You CANNOT fix someone like that, and they will drag you down into their dysfunctional world.

People joke around about sticking their dick in crazy, but this is not a laughing matter. A woman who suffers from a real mental illness can threaten your life, sanity, wealth, and freedom.

In this case, I think you should be ok. To be safe, I would make sure that she is unable to contact you. If this means changing all of your social media, phone number, etc, then consider it a small price to pay and a lesson learned. Insulate yourself as completely as possible from this woman, and never have any further contact whatsoever with her, her friends, her family, or anyone in any way connected to her.

As for saving texts, etc. That shit is kept by phone companies for a very long time, and would be a part of any legal discovery process if it came to that.

Breathe deep though, it sounds like you dodged a bullet on this one. Imagine if the relationship had gone on a few more months and your life had become completely intertwined with this crazy bitch? The damage could have been much worse.

[Suits]

(04-09-2015 05:28 AM)VolandoVengoVolandoVoy Wrote:  

What is BDP?

I think he meant BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. We have a thread on it.

VolandoVengoVolandoVoy Wrote:  

She sounds like she might have some sort of psychotic or personality disorder.

See above.

[Dr. Dan Dungus]

I don't think I (or any American lawyers on here) can give you any useful hints if you're in Canada. Not sure how it works up there.

But this much I know:

1) Do not contact her or anyone associated with her
2) Do not make any statements to anyone about your involvement with her
3) Retain a lawyer and ask him about what else you should do

[AhabTravel]

Question for all you guys with more experience in this area: is there a pro-red pill site/pro-male legal site where we can find attorneys by area ahead of time before these issues ever arise, so that if something happens, we can immediately point to those attorneys? I'd like to invest in an attorney, like one ROK article I saw which mentioned putting down a deposit of $2-$5K and being able to consult with the attorney from time to time, especially about issues like this, or using them when we have certain people on the line.

I'm sure myself and a lot of other dudes would appreciate this, as an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure in these cases. Plus, it would allow us to ask and bounce ideas off of and getting feedback on how a court would see that.

I have read a lot of the helpful articles provided by Roosh and Mike Cernovich, all very useful; but in cases where cops could be around, having a specific attorney helps a lot.

[kinjutsu]

@ VolandoVengoVolandoVoy
We had officially been together from March 1st to July 21st 2014. Then starting in September she would contact me, we'd hook up and talk about trying again because she missed me etc. Then she'd disappear for a month or so and repeat the same bs. Then at the end of December she came over and came clean about all the lying etc. Said she wanted to give it another try again. That lasted about a month. On January 30 is when she cut all contact and had her parents contact me to retrieve her stuff she left at my house, with clear instructions to never contact her again.
Over the months of the relationship i did try to help her but i came to realize that she wasn't interested in getting better, she just wanted the attention and eventually she would get enough of mine and disappear again.
She's been officially diagnosed by doctors to have BPD (borderline personality disorder) as well as being manic and having an eating disorder and body image issues.
As well as seeing multiple therapists and psychologists over the years. At one point she invited me to sit in on the sessions.
Over the course of her teens she's been in and out treatment facilities for these mental health issues. I know of 3 separate times she's attempted suicide (1 time she contacted me).


@ Dr. Dan Dungus
Like I've stated earlier when she cut all contact with me i stopped trying to get a hold of her. Then when her parents came by my place to get her stuff they made it clear i wasn't to contact her anymore. I haven't seen or heard from her or anyone i know she is in contact with since that day. Nor have i attempted to contact her or anyone she knows in any way, shape or form.
Then i saw the Facebook message from the guy she's currently dating. I sent him a couple of texts describing the type of behavior i personally witnessed or things she confessed to me. He hasn't texted me back and I'm starting to wonder if maybe he gave me the wrong number. In my city it looks like it may possibly be a land line number and not a cellphone number.
Now he's blocked me on Facebook so instead of his name and profile picture i see "Facebook User".


Tomorrow I'm going to speak with a lawyer about this.
Mainly about what the laws are and what options i have if any in this situation.

It's just so surreal that this is happening.
Like i said before, no police or any law enforcement has contacted me about her.
I'm starting to think that maybe she's told him some crazy lies about me to get sympathy from him. And the reason why he's contacted me is because he doesn't believe her and is worried about what might happen to him if he makes her mad.

I had a gut feeling that she would try to contact me again or make up some story and send some guys after me to hurt me or worse. Although i made it clear of my 20+ years in martial arts experience, any persons or people that have tried to come after me had a very difficult time.

[tarquin]

You really can't even know that the "boyfriend" who texted you is not an undercover police officer trying to dig up info. Radio silence then attorney.

[kinjutsu]

@Tarquin

Yeah that's what I've been thinking as well. I was very careful in what i texted "him"

[Sp5]

(04-09-2015 09:28 AM)AhabTravel Wrote:  

Question for all you guys with more experience in this area: is there a pro-red pill site/pro-male legal site where we can find attorneys by area ahead of time before these issues ever arise, so that if something happens, we can immediately point to those attorneys? I'd like to invest in an attorney, like one ROK article I saw which mentioned putting down a deposit of $2-$5K and being able to consult with the attorney from time to time, especially about issues like this, or using them when we have certain people on the line.

I'm sure myself and a lot of other dudes would appreciate this, as an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure in these cases. Plus, it would allow us to ask and bounce ideas off of and getting feedback on how a court would see that.

I have read a lot of the helpful articles provided by Roosh and Mike Cernovich, all very useful; but in cases where cops could be around, having a specific attorney helps a lot.

Just go to your local criminal court, watch the arraignment session for bail arguments and the pretrial and trial sessions. Also, ask the bailiffs who are the best lawyers.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(04-09-2015 04:29 PM)tarquin Wrote:  

You really can't even know that the "boyfriend" who texted you is not an undercover police officer trying to dig up info. Radio silence then attorney.

This is absolutely crazy in all respects, but I guess men in our times need to be always aware.

Here a recent case where a man spent 4 months in prison after a recording surfaced, which proved that he was innocent of the alleged rape:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/news-chicago...ber-driver

Don't know why it took 4 months for the recording to come up, but maybe he feared deportation or was advised wrongly by someone with regard to secretly recording a person. Or it was the NSA which supplied the recording - heh.

In any case it saved his life. The fake rape accuser will get a pussy pass.

[kinjutsu]

Just an update for you guys.

This morning the dude texted me back and said he really appreciated the info on the girl.
I'd assume that the police would be communicating with me more to get more info about me, her etc.

I also visited a lawyer this morning as well.

She told me a few things in no particular order:

Do not attempt to contact him or her or anyone she knows anymore. If they make attempts to contact me record and document it digitally and use online file storage to archive it.

This also goes for anyone coming to my house or job asking questions about me. Same goes for my current gf.

Her history of mental health issues and suicide make her a very hard sell as a reliable witness/victim.

The shield laws in Canada are different than in the states. If it went to trial i could only bring up things i personally witnessed and things she discussed with me.

She also suggested that i get into contact with as many ex gf's as possible and let them know what is happening. The prosecution may try to contact them and dig up dirt on my past relationships to see if i treated them badly or not. They also would be ideal character witnesses in my defense if it came to that.

She also told me that if they were doing an active investigation they would have made some kind of contact by now. It's been over 2 months since i last spoke to the girl.
The detectives don't like to wait in these types of cases. The longer they go on the less likely they will be able to secure a conviction.


A bit of background on this lawyer. She used to be a prosecutor and she specializes in domestic violence/abuse along with sexual assault.

[Alpha_Romeo]

How difficult would it be for you to simply disappear?

Does she know where you live? Can you move?
Does she know where you work?
Does she know how to get in contact with friends and/or family?
Is your FB account your own?

[kinjutsu]

Disappearing isn't an option currently.
She does know where I live and my funds don't allow me to move instantly.
She doesn't know where I work currently.
She has my cell number and Facebook.
She never met any of my friends