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Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?
#1

Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?

Quick back story: ( a little TLDR)

This relates to this girl....but the subject matter could be used for any girl that a man may have "spooked" and is considering repair/trying to reinitiate:

A girl....9 in my book. Her body is probably over 9. Perfect athletic brunette. Well toned legs.....amazing ass.....taut stomach.....medium sized firm breasts....white girl....mid 20s. One of the hottest in my mid sized city or I'd just completely forget about her but run into her from time to time.

When I was just getting serious about game about this time last year, I would see her time to time at Starbucks while I was on my laptop.

I made eye contact with her one day and she was pleasantly taken aback. We'd see each other. I'd position myself so I was there when I thought she'd be ( perhaps she started to sense stalkerishness)....though at the beginning she would offer lingering eye contact and some smiles.

I first approached and talked to her a few weeks later when she was in line for coffee from behind. She offered a little conversation but not totally open.

See her from time to time after that and she'd offer a 'hey"

Then, I "bumped" into her again a few weeks later at starbucks. She was short and clipped in her responses when I approached. She did say 'you don't seem like you're from around here" On her way out, I asked her for her number and she said she was seeing someone. I said ' well, tell you what, I'll get it and can text you in 3 mos...if you're still with him God bless...but if not...let's grab coffee" She actually thought about it and said 'I tell you what, I se you from time to time here...if something changes I can let you know.' ( I should have accepted this, but because I was still too pushy and rough around the edges, I said(lamely) 'well,we could just be friends' ....the whole time she was like walking out but I kept throwing out these offers ( I was still a little pushy and new at game ) She looks at me like " you're a persistent mug!" Then kind of just walked off exasperated.

A few mos later I run into her at a grocery but ignore her. I catch her out of the corner of my eye kind of peeping around the corner to confirm it was indeed me. She was there with her mom. As I was checking out....she walks away from her register and walks past but avoids eye contact.

Saw her today in line at a health food store. I get the sense when she sees me, she tenses up....like she's expecting me to approach....since I was so persistent the first time. I never do because of her body language. I mean Damn.... I know I was persistent but I didn't think I freaked her out this bad...unless I'm reading it wrong. I've seen her a couple times with a totally androgymous beta , wimpy looking hipster dude who's about her height ( I'm pretty tall ) Not saying the guy isn't a some kind of player ( probably not )....and not tooting my own horn....but I'm certainly more attractive than him. I perceive it as a comfort situation with her.

Bottom line is she's uber hot....at one time had some attraction for me...and I apparently blew it, when I was in the beginnings of game and not as "nuanced" as I am now.

She seems to be "spooked" by me. I can see her go into eye contact avoid mode when she sense me in the same coffee shop, etc. You'd think I raped her mother and killed her family.

I've thought of approaching and being real light about it. Maybe if she would be hesitant /avoidant to talk ( which I sense she would be ) to be empathetic and offer something like "hey, I didn't mean to be offputting when we first spoke. I know I can come across a little strong sometimes, etc." It's either that or just go on totally ignoring her like I have been. It's just , she is literally one of the hottest girls I've ever seen, especially in my area, and I was wondering if one more try was worth it.

I am banging other girls....but this girls quality is really high. Higher than most around here. And unlike other girls in their mid 20s in my area....she's still unmarried.

Can a recovery be made if a girl has been or is CURRENTLY "spooked" of you? If so....what are methods?

- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.

#BallsWin
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#2

Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?

Quote: (04-01-2015 03:27 PM)robreke Wrote:  

Quick back story: ( a little TLDR)

This relates to this girl....but the subject matter could be used for any girl that a man may have "spooked" and is considering repair/trying to reinitiate:

A girl....9 in my book. Her body is probably over 9. Perfect athletic brunette. Well toned legs.....amazing ass.....taut stomach.....medium sized firm breasts....white girl....mid 20s. One of the hottest in my mid sized city or I'd just completely forget about her but run into her from time to time.

When I was just getting serious about game about this time last year, I would see her time to time at Starbucks while I was on my laptop.

I made eye contact with her one day and she was pleasantly taken aback. We'd see each other. I'd position myself so I was there when I thought she'd be ( perhaps she started to sense stalkerishness)....though at the beginning she would offer lingering eye contact and some smiles.

I first approached and talked to her a few weeks later when she was in line for coffee from behind. She offered a little conversation but not totally open.

See her from time to time after that and she'd offer a 'hey"

Then, I "bumped" into her again a few weeks later at starbucks. She was short and clipped in her responses when I approached. She did say 'you don't seem like you're from around here" On her way out, I asked her for her number and she said she was seeing someone. I said ' well, tell you what, I'll get it and can text you in 3 mos...if you're still with him God bless...but if not...let's grab coffee" She actually thought about it and said 'I'll think about it' I said(lamely) 'we could just be friends' ....the whole time she was like walking out but I kept throwing out these offers ( I was still a little pushy and new at game ) She looks at me like " you're a persistent mug!" Then kind of just walked off exasperated.

A few mos later I run into her at a grocery but ignore her. I catch her out of the corner of my eye kind of peeping around the corner to confirm it was indeed me. She was there with her mom. As I was checking out....she walks away from her register and walks past but avoids eye contact.

Saw her today in line at a health food store. I get the sense when she sees me, she tenses up....like she's expecting me to approach....since I was so persistent the first time. I never do because of her body language. I mean Damn.... I know I was persistent but I didn't think I freaked her out this bad...unless I'm reading it wrong. I've seen her a couple times with a totally androgymous beta , wimpy looking hipster dude who's about her height ( I'm pretty tall ) Not saying the guy isn't a some kind of player ( probably not )....and not tooting my own horn....but I'm certainly more attractive than him. I perceive it as a comfort situation with her.

Bottom line is she's uber hot....at one time had some attraction for me...and I apparently blew it, when I was in the beginnings of game and not as "nuanced" as I am now.

She seems to be "spooked" by me. I can see her go into eye contact avoid mode when she sense me in the same coffee shop, etc. You'd think I raped her mother and killed her family.

I've thought of approaching and being real light about it. Maybe if she would be hesitant /avoidant to talk ( which I sense she would be ) to be empathetic and offer something like "hey, I didn't mean to be offputting when we first spoke. I know I can come across a little strong sometimes, etc." It's either that or just go on totally ignoring her like I have been. It's just , she is literally one of the hottest girls I've ever seen, especially in my area, and I was wondering if one more try was worth it.

I am banging other girls....but this girls quality is really high. Higher than most around here. And unlike other girls in their mid 20s in my area....she's still unmarried.

Can a recovery be made if a girl has been or is CURRENTLY "spooked" of you? If so....what are methods?

That's a tough one. I had situation two years ago with a really hot asian woman, about the same age who lived across the hall in my apartment building. We would see each other in the elevator and chat, nothing more than just friendly small talk. One day I was on OKC and saw her profile and sent her a message calling he by name and saying "hey neighbor!" We got to messaging back and forth and I asked for her number. She deflected with asking if I was on FB and I brushed that aside and went for the number again. She gave me her number and we texted and finally made plans to meet up a bar walking distance for a drink. I told her I would stop by and we could walk over together (thinking big mistake) and she seemed a little put off by that but otherwise the date appeared to be on.

Fast forward to the day of the date. She texted me flaking out saying she was out of town and wouldn't be home in time. I waited a couple of days and sent a restart text asking when she was free. Radio silence. I dropped all contact and never pursued her again. A few weeks later I was walking down the hall to my apartment and she was coming towards me. I warmly greeted her with a "Hi xxx" and she gave me a nervous smile, turned her body away from me and walked as fast as she could. [Image: confused.gif]

I guess the moral of the story is that once we somehow cross their "weird" threshold it's tough to recover. I'm no expert in this but would suggest to just play it off like nothing ever happened and be friendly, say hello and ask her how she's been. In time she may learn that it's ok to not be weirded out by you and start to relax. If not, oh well, there's plenty more lizards out there.
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#3

Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?

If a girl says that she is seeing someone, I take that to mean she is actually seeing someone or a polite rejection on her behalf.

Either way, I don't invest any more of my time or thoughts in bedding her from that point on.

So, I say, save yourself the mental anguish and move on. It can be incredibly hard to do when they are rare birds like this one (part of you wants to amp the persistence even if the chances are miniscule), but for your ego's sake, you're better off forgetting her.
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#4

Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?

It's likely unsalvageable but not impossible. I knew a guy in the same predicament, moved on, fucked bitches and here is where things got interesting.

My boy got rejected on campus by some hipster bitch, started to approach like a machine and was getting notches left and right. Everytime the girl who rejected him would see him, he would be with a chick. Eventually I think they talked again in line or something at the dining hall one day. Before you know it he fucked her and said the pussy was definitely NOT worth it.

In other words move on, approach more girls of her quality(and better), i guarantee after some time, and if she sees you enough doing your thing she'll be interested, but you probably won't give two shits at that point.

-CD
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#5

Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?

Quote: (04-01-2015 10:14 PM)coverdoc Wrote:  

It's likely unsalvageable but not impossible. I knew a guy in the same predicament, moved on, fucked bitches and here is where things got interesting.

My boy got rejected on campus by some hipster bitch, started to approach like a machine and was getting notches left and right. Everytime the girl who rejected him would see him, he would be with a chick. Eventually I think they talked again in line or something at the dining hall one day. Before you know it he fucked her and said the pussy was definitely NOT worth it.

In other words move on, approach more girls of her quality(and better), i guarantee after some time, and if she sees you enough doing your thing she'll be interested, but you probably won't give two shits at that point.

-CD

I co-sign what coverdoc says in his reply. You gotta move on. I believe you lost it when you insisted to get her info after she told you that she was with someone! No matter how Alpha you are and how many Girls you've had, there's no way for this move to not be perceived as needy in her mind.

Because she's hot, you gave her too much undeserved value by willingly putting yourself in line as her next possible "BF" by barely knowing her. The only way I see you getting her is if she miraculously wants to absolutely Bang you then she'll reach out. But by being so good looking, I doubt that this will ever happen, at least until she reach the Wall
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#6

Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?

Honestly, I've noticed a funny pattern: whenever I come on this forum asking about specific situations (that have already happened) it's too late; I cannot get that girl. I'm taking her too seriously. I'm not saying don't ask for help, but if you think you should move on, then you probably should. What's easier?

1. Talking to the same girl and trying to change her opinion of you?

2. Talking to a new girl.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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#7

Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?

Quote: (04-01-2015 10:38 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

Honestly, I've noticed a funny pattern: whenever I come on this forum asking about specific situations (that have already happened) it's too late; I cannot get that girl. I'm taking her too seriously. I'm not saying don't ask for help, but if you think you should move on, then you probably should. What's easier?

1. Talking to the same girl and trying to change her opinion of you?

2. Talking to a new girl.

I think it's good that people post their fuck ups here knowing they are fuck ups. Gives the seasoned players an opportunity to drop some knowledge and allows the OP to have the mistake ingrained in his mind so hopefully history doesn't repeat itself.

-CD
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#8

Recovery possible after "spooking" a girl?

Quote: (04-01-2015 03:27 PM)robreke Wrote:  

Can a recovery be made if a girl has been or is CURRENTLY "spooked" of you? If so....what are methods?

The only way to recover is in a social setting where you have a tons of social proof from other guys and hot girls and she see's you're the man. But isolated vis-a-vis recovery? Fuhgeddaboutit.

edit: you'll see social proof was what led to success in coverdocs anecdote.
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