This is somewhat of a personal note to myself which I decided to turn into a mini article. For myself to remember and for others (maybe mostly younger guys) to take something away from. Don’t hate if the message doesn’t resonate with you - this won’t be about pussy or cash - instead peacefully click away.
“It won’t be so bad.”
If I weren’t getting a little too old for new tattoos I would get this one right away. I think about it time and time again. But always only when it’s already too late. Shit I should get still get it tatted - right on my forehead. In neon colours.
Too late for what you ask?
Too late for getting back valuable time of my life that I wasted postponing and procrastinating stuff that wasn’t so bad to get done after all.
Just now I was sitting here in the middle of my comfortable life with a stuffed belly in front of the TV when I remembered that I still have to wrap up some gifts for a close relative’s birthday tomorrow. I knew I had to do it now, because I would get company soon. With my guest here I won’t be able to get the wrapping done. Tomorrow morning there will be zero time either. It has to be now.
“But 5 more minutes of TV.” I say to myself.
“No way. She could be here any minute.” I answer.
“She won’t. C’mon. Relax.”
“You can’t show up with unwrapped presents dude. Get the fuck up.”
"Not yet."
…
This goes on for a good ten minutes before I finally do get up, grab the CDs I bought, cut the paper in two perfect squares and tape that shit up neatly.
It takes me no more than 3 minutes and it’s flawless. I’m proud of myself.
“That wasn’t so bad.” , I think.
No shit Sherlock. It wasn’t. It never is. Never will be.
But time and time again I sit there whining to myself about how I don’t want to do stuff that I should do.
But this is it. I’m writing up a whole damn RVF post right now to forever remember that it simply won’t be so bad. And to remind you, too.
Because contrary to other common manosphere advice I will not tell you to “harden the fuck up” or draw parallels to the life of the Spartans and other great societies in history.
These writings have their place and I have benefitted greatly from them myself. I am in no way, shape or form knocking these badass dudes among our midst who breathe this way of life and inspire others by writing about it.
Much rather I want to bring something to your attention. I want you to notice something about the everyday life you live and I want you to draw the right conclusions from that.
And because you’re not stupid you already know what I mean.
I want you to pay attention to your feelings when you’re actually doing that “hard” shit that you need to do. Not when you’re thinking about it before. Or reflecting on it after. During that particular activity. See how you feel.
I would bet a decent amount of money that most of us never feel terrible or even uncomfortable while we’re performing these man-chores. Some of the time we even find to be enjoying ourselves. For some reason however, that is always quickly forgotten. We soon start dreading the next point on our “to do list”. Only to find out the same thing about it later. And on it goes.
“But Micha”, you say. “that sounds all fine and dandy, but you can’t really compare the very serious responsibilities of my very serious life with your gift wrapping.”
Well, I know what you mean. But again, I want you to think about it. Maybe that thought is just a knee-jerk response of your brain. After all, what do our responsibilities almost always boil down to?
Our responsibilities are strings of little tasks. It’s a filling out a form. It’s making a call. It’s getting up early. It’s talking to someone we don’t like very much.
Nowhere in the Filofax of even the hardest of today's gentlemen does it read “bring newborn to the cliffs for examination by priest” or “survive in the wild during winter with nothing but a spear for days on end”. You know. Like in that movie 300. (I’m sorry I lied about not bringing the Spartans into this)
But what’s holding us back from being effective about our contemporary responsibilities is always the same bullshit.
“It can wait.” “It’s not so important.” “It’s too hard.”
And here comes the real tragedy: None of that is true.
If you’re thinking about it now and it can be done now - it can’t wait. Or you’ll be wasting time and thoughts on the matter.
If you're thinking about it - it’s important. Else you wouldn’t be thinking about it. I’m not thinking about weight-loss, because I’m a skinny bastard. I think about different things. But if you’re thinking about weight-loss, you should lose some weight. And it’s important to you, too.
Nothing is too hard. Not in our lives. Certainly not the things we ourselves set out to achieve.
Maybe breaking a world record in ice-bathing would be too hard for me. But I never set out to achieve that. Never even crossed my mind.
But that which I did set out to achieve certainly isn’t “too hard”. That would be ridiculous.
When talking about motivation, I therefore propose to replace the term “excuses” with “error of judgement”. Because what we think about our responsibilities simply isn't true.
The tax return form can’t wait - because you’re thinking about it right now. It needlessly occupies brain capacity without furthering any progress in reality. It’s also not “not so important.” because every cent counts when you’re up and coming. It can be used for investments and further growth. It’s also not “too hard” because it is something to be done inside a cosy home, at a clean desk with a fresh cup of coffee.
You know this is true.
Once you sit there with coffee and pencil in hand you’re not sharing an emotional world with the guy and his spear. You may even find it to be a peaceful activity or mildly challenging and fun.
And it’s the same thing for all the common things that we all seem to struggle so much with:
Moderate exercise with low risk of injury and lots of fresh air? What a drag “jogging” is.
Navigating a miracle of modern technology while listening to great music or educational audio-tapes? Commuting is horrible.
Not constantly exceeding intake of the body’s natural need for energy? That would be “dieting”.
Enjoying 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a comfortable bed? This will be “getting up early” for many.
Sitting in an air-conditioned room while reading stimulating content? That’s “learning”.
I could go on but everyone gets the point here.
This isn’t wordplay or even re-framing. These things aren’t so bad. Literally. Our thoughts about them are bad. Because they are uncalibrated. They are not in alignment with reality.
Once you’ve gotten off your ass and go with the flow of doing these things - they start to feel from not so bad to quite some fun.
The second real tragedy is that pretty much all we really want in life depends on how consistently and effectively we execute these behaviours. Think about that.
All your desires, hopes and dreams depend on whether or not you can consistently do things that aren’t so bad.
Now think about our ancestors and whether or not that were true for them, too. Could a Spartan have risen to the top of the social hierarchy by being moderately fit, having knowledge about some stuff and keeping his room tidy? I don’t know, but if you believe the movies the answer is no. You had to survive against great odds, suffer through countless punishments and fight in fucking battles to life or death. You may recognise these activities as things, that, you know could actually be pretty bad.
But not you.
You can make the top 1%. You can have success, health and (relative) wealth. Be the elite. Do the exceptional. Live a life of excellence.
All of that simply by doing things that aren’t really so bad after all.
Will you?
“It won’t be so bad.”
If I weren’t getting a little too old for new tattoos I would get this one right away. I think about it time and time again. But always only when it’s already too late. Shit I should get still get it tatted - right on my forehead. In neon colours.
Too late for what you ask?
Too late for getting back valuable time of my life that I wasted postponing and procrastinating stuff that wasn’t so bad to get done after all.
Just now I was sitting here in the middle of my comfortable life with a stuffed belly in front of the TV when I remembered that I still have to wrap up some gifts for a close relative’s birthday tomorrow. I knew I had to do it now, because I would get company soon. With my guest here I won’t be able to get the wrapping done. Tomorrow morning there will be zero time either. It has to be now.
“But 5 more minutes of TV.” I say to myself.
“No way. She could be here any minute.” I answer.
“She won’t. C’mon. Relax.”
“You can’t show up with unwrapped presents dude. Get the fuck up.”
"Not yet."
…
This goes on for a good ten minutes before I finally do get up, grab the CDs I bought, cut the paper in two perfect squares and tape that shit up neatly.
It takes me no more than 3 minutes and it’s flawless. I’m proud of myself.
“That wasn’t so bad.” , I think.
No shit Sherlock. It wasn’t. It never is. Never will be.
But time and time again I sit there whining to myself about how I don’t want to do stuff that I should do.
But this is it. I’m writing up a whole damn RVF post right now to forever remember that it simply won’t be so bad. And to remind you, too.
Because contrary to other common manosphere advice I will not tell you to “harden the fuck up” or draw parallels to the life of the Spartans and other great societies in history.
These writings have their place and I have benefitted greatly from them myself. I am in no way, shape or form knocking these badass dudes among our midst who breathe this way of life and inspire others by writing about it.
Much rather I want to bring something to your attention. I want you to notice something about the everyday life you live and I want you to draw the right conclusions from that.
And because you’re not stupid you already know what I mean.
I want you to pay attention to your feelings when you’re actually doing that “hard” shit that you need to do. Not when you’re thinking about it before. Or reflecting on it after. During that particular activity. See how you feel.
I would bet a decent amount of money that most of us never feel terrible or even uncomfortable while we’re performing these man-chores. Some of the time we even find to be enjoying ourselves. For some reason however, that is always quickly forgotten. We soon start dreading the next point on our “to do list”. Only to find out the same thing about it later. And on it goes.
“But Micha”, you say. “that sounds all fine and dandy, but you can’t really compare the very serious responsibilities of my very serious life with your gift wrapping.”
Well, I know what you mean. But again, I want you to think about it. Maybe that thought is just a knee-jerk response of your brain. After all, what do our responsibilities almost always boil down to?
Our responsibilities are strings of little tasks. It’s a filling out a form. It’s making a call. It’s getting up early. It’s talking to someone we don’t like very much.
Nowhere in the Filofax of even the hardest of today's gentlemen does it read “bring newborn to the cliffs for examination by priest” or “survive in the wild during winter with nothing but a spear for days on end”. You know. Like in that movie 300. (I’m sorry I lied about not bringing the Spartans into this)
But what’s holding us back from being effective about our contemporary responsibilities is always the same bullshit.
“It can wait.” “It’s not so important.” “It’s too hard.”
And here comes the real tragedy: None of that is true.
If you’re thinking about it now and it can be done now - it can’t wait. Or you’ll be wasting time and thoughts on the matter.
If you're thinking about it - it’s important. Else you wouldn’t be thinking about it. I’m not thinking about weight-loss, because I’m a skinny bastard. I think about different things. But if you’re thinking about weight-loss, you should lose some weight. And it’s important to you, too.
Nothing is too hard. Not in our lives. Certainly not the things we ourselves set out to achieve.
Maybe breaking a world record in ice-bathing would be too hard for me. But I never set out to achieve that. Never even crossed my mind.
But that which I did set out to achieve certainly isn’t “too hard”. That would be ridiculous.
When talking about motivation, I therefore propose to replace the term “excuses” with “error of judgement”. Because what we think about our responsibilities simply isn't true.
The tax return form can’t wait - because you’re thinking about it right now. It needlessly occupies brain capacity without furthering any progress in reality. It’s also not “not so important.” because every cent counts when you’re up and coming. It can be used for investments and further growth. It’s also not “too hard” because it is something to be done inside a cosy home, at a clean desk with a fresh cup of coffee.
You know this is true.
Once you sit there with coffee and pencil in hand you’re not sharing an emotional world with the guy and his spear. You may even find it to be a peaceful activity or mildly challenging and fun.
And it’s the same thing for all the common things that we all seem to struggle so much with:
Moderate exercise with low risk of injury and lots of fresh air? What a drag “jogging” is.
Navigating a miracle of modern technology while listening to great music or educational audio-tapes? Commuting is horrible.
Not constantly exceeding intake of the body’s natural need for energy? That would be “dieting”.
Enjoying 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a comfortable bed? This will be “getting up early” for many.
Sitting in an air-conditioned room while reading stimulating content? That’s “learning”.
I could go on but everyone gets the point here.
This isn’t wordplay or even re-framing. These things aren’t so bad. Literally. Our thoughts about them are bad. Because they are uncalibrated. They are not in alignment with reality.
Once you’ve gotten off your ass and go with the flow of doing these things - they start to feel from not so bad to quite some fun.
The second real tragedy is that pretty much all we really want in life depends on how consistently and effectively we execute these behaviours. Think about that.
All your desires, hopes and dreams depend on whether or not you can consistently do things that aren’t so bad.
Now think about our ancestors and whether or not that were true for them, too. Could a Spartan have risen to the top of the social hierarchy by being moderately fit, having knowledge about some stuff and keeping his room tidy? I don’t know, but if you believe the movies the answer is no. You had to survive against great odds, suffer through countless punishments and fight in fucking battles to life or death. You may recognise these activities as things, that, you know could actually be pretty bad.
But not you.
You can make the top 1%. You can have success, health and (relative) wealth. Be the elite. Do the exceptional. Live a life of excellence.
All of that simply by doing things that aren’t really so bad after all.
Will you?
