[NerdBoy]

M'kay, new to the forum. Please do not kill/humiliate/whatever.

I'm terrible at meeting women. That little voice in the back of my head saying "naw, not her, she's too pretty. Not her either, she's walking her dog. Don't even think about that one, she's obviously engrossed in that mocha latte" is the bane of my ever lovin' existence. But if I can manage to get past that and have an actual conversation with a girl I can (depending on my mood and amount of liquid courage imbibed) ACTUALLY HOLD HER INTEREST.

Which brings me to the crux of my issue; I'm remarkably selective about the kind of woman I'm attracted to. If, during said CONVERSATION, she's less than engrossing I suddenly find myself uninterested. If she's as bright as a lightbulb dipped in tar my interest dwindles until I wander off to find something more fun. I live in College Station, TX, an area filled to bursting with hot sorority girls decked out in hot pink tank tops that rise just enough to show their tramp stamp and not a single one of them has a thought in their peroxide soaked head. I have witnessed men stumble out of a bar and literally trip in to a 5'5" buxom slice of hotness and not a single one of them do anything for me. If a girl aspires to own a dog small enough to carry in a purse I just don't give a damn.

So is this something I need to work on? Do I need to press past whatever conceited part of my mind that says "ugh, she doesn't know who Bacchus is?" to get more comfortable meeting women? Should I try to run game on only women I'm interested in, even though they're the minority?

Looking back I think I come off a little pompous. I don't mean to imply that I'm more intelligent than most women. Mostly it's an issue of the density of the "omiGAWD" valley girls in my area.

[Trotter]

It's good to have standards, but I feel that you set the standards so high--that no woman will ever meet--simply because you're afraid of rejection. You're giving yourself an easy out so you don't have to work on your skillset on meeting women.

Quote:

I have witnessed men stumble out of a bar and literally trip in to a 5'5" buxom slice of hotness and not a single one of them do anything for me.

This is an unbelievable statement and it sounds like something a man that has given up before really trying would say. Let's say that you had this naturally attractive quality and women were throwing themselves at you. I highly doubt you'll look at each and every one of them and be like "naw, I don't want sex with her". You're rejecting them in your mind so that you don't have to suffer rejection yourself.

Or maybe you do have really high standards and being too picky. My vote is on what I said earlier.

[mlucasone]

Even if the hottest girl in the bar is below your standards, you can go distribute some game onto her for practice for the next time you see a girl who meets or exceeds your standards. Drink a couple beers (beer goggles), unleash some kino (touch her), she will probably rise up to meet your standards. Good thing about your situation is that you won't place much value on her, so she wont be much of a loss if you fail. Either way you win.

I was thinking I have high standards too. Then I started thinking im not looking for a wife to spawn babies with, I'm just looking for some sex. The question I now ask myself is, "is she penetration-worthy?" Although it may take a very high quality to please you, your pp wont be as selective; so dont do it for you, do it for your phallus.

[Oblivion77]

(12-30-2008 11:43 PM)NerdBoy Wrote:  

M'kay, new to the forum. Please do not kill/humiliate/whatever.

I'm terrible at meeting women. That little voice in the back of my head saying "naw, not her, she's too pretty. Not her either, she's walking her dog. Don't even think about that one, she's obviously engrossed in that mocha latte" is the bane of my ever lovin' existence. But if I can manage to get past that and have an actual conversation with a girl I can (depending on my mood and amount of liquid courage imbibed) ACTUALLY HOLD HER INTEREST.

Which brings me to the crux of my issue; I'm remarkably selective about the kind of woman I'm attracted to. If, during said CONVERSATION, she's less than engrossing I suddenly find myself uninterested. If she's as bright as a lightbulb dipped in tar my interest dwindles until I wander off to find something more fun. I live in College Station, TX, an area filled to bursting with hot sorority girls decked out in hot pink tank tops that rise just enough to show their tramp stamp and not a single one of them has a thought in their peroxide soaked head. I have witnessed men stumble out of a bar and literally trip in to a 5'5" buxom slice of hotness and not a single one of them do anything for me. If a girl aspires to own a dog small enough to carry in a purse I just don't give a damn.

So is this something I need to work on? Do I need to press past whatever conceited part of my mind that says "ugh, she doesn't know who Bacchus is?" to get more comfortable meeting women? Should I try to run game on only women I'm interested in, even though they're the minority?

Looking back I think I come off a little pompous. I don't mean to imply that I'm more intelligent than most women. Mostly it's an issue of the density of the "omiGAWD" valley girls in my area.

I hear you man.
Let me stress since moving to the US I experienced the same problem: I'm not looking for Einstein, but I hope to meet someone that wont think that Ingrid Betancourt is a new brand of french parfume! (yes, it did happen to me).

I think you should do two things if you are looking for girls that are intellectually more stimulating:

- Try to refine your social hang-out places. Join a writing class, get a membership for the local theater and watch a play.
In other words, do whatever you like doing, in a social way, where you maximize your chances of bumping into someone "enlightened" as you are ;-)

- However do put yourself in discussion, go out of your comfort zone a few times.
Better to learn what you like and dislike, rather than dissect and over-analyse a first impression.
Make an effort with the "hot" ladies of your town, if at all to re-inforce and experience first hand what you already assume.
Who knows? maybe lowering the standard and taking a chance will surprise you.

Personally I dont think anything can change the nature of a man, but little improvements can be made, if you are willing to go ahead.
Just do it in a superficial way, as mlucasone pointed out, you dont have to be 100% involved to get to know someone.
If she doesnt grow on you, you can always walk away.
Probe a little bit, if it doesnt work out, you can at least say that you gave her a full chance and realized it didnt really click.

[twigman]

This is what I sense

I don't mean this to be critical, however I want to give you real feedback. I also know I could be off because all I have is some words to go on.

you're not ununsual. you're struggling with what every educated person is struggling with - how to get out of their head and more into their body, and to create a more primal attraction. Plus you have the same self-limiting statements we're all getting over, due to the way we were treated and the messages we got growing up in our culture.

* You are too much in your head. My clues are the kinds of words you use. Also, you pretty much know *yourself* you're failing to make a connection, and you know kind of how you come off yourself. The solution here is to ask someone who will give you honest feedback about the way you come across. Or, just pay really close attention to how you come in. If you come across as someone who approaches with their head and not their whole body, then this might be a sticking point for you.

Being a 'brain' with interesting stories is (and remains, but less so) a prob for me. I mean I speak from my experience here.

Having friendships with men who are more body-visceral and body centred and can talk to girls easily is a great way to advance.

* There is a difference between someone interesting and someone a girl takes home and kiss and cuddle and then fuck, and it isn't about connecting over mutual cultural and artistic references. The best girls I've had with me have been intelligent but essentially uneducated girls, who have a good sense of humour and can call me out on things when I'm being less than 'real' with them. Thats going to build respect at a deeper level than just common interests in lofty things.

One great way to advance out of your braininess is to make a connection with a woman who just lives in the moment and calls you out on your intellectual fuckingaround.

* I sense some kind of repressed sexuality. Are you afraid to express yourself as a man comfortable with wanting sex and being sexual in all situations? I mean, I assume those sorority girls turn you on. Are you afraid of their sexiness? And that it may make you hard ? And you may have to express yourself like a man with a dIck? You can persuade a woman to kiss you, its mostly body language and expression of confidence. Again these hot slices of hotness, are hot, and believe me some of them will be really open to you, if you can own your sexuality out there.

* Definitely only run your game on women you're interested in, otherwise you won't learn anything. I'm at the point where I'll give most girls a chance to show me they're worthy of more attention. I find the more selective I get the more people I talk to.

[Roosh]

If your standards are too high then you will never have the amount of experience necessary to be good. So you'll have to make a decision for the next year or two to bang just for the sake of banging, or not.

[Chopin]

I'm also new to the forum, and the topic. Two cents from someone in a very similar situation.

* about being selective: I'm also very picky. If I had to be honest with myself, it's like someone said here - a defense mechanism for rejection.
I get what you're saying about many girls being boring etc. If you are not so attracted to them, it's hard
to make yourself put effort in, but you HAVE TO. Different things motivate different people... I'll tell you what worked for me.

I met an amazing girl couple months ago. I thought, that's the chick I WANT to get. I made an attempt and bombed spectacularly because my game sucked.
She became the reason I want to learn how to attract girls. Every time I'm lazy or too picky I tell myself that I have to do it to one day be getting girls like her.
Now, if you are into girls that are not considered physically attractive by the majority of guys, chances are you will get a girl without being a master of seduction. But chances also are she will want to marry you, withhold sex, sense your scarcity mentality and use you/dump you etc.
Just like girls use guys to get validation, attention, entertainment... use them to get the confidence, skills, etc. necessary to get the girls you really want.

Also about being selective - you can pick couple features you like and only approach girls that have them. For me it's height. Being selective this way makes it easy for you and improves your confidence.

* about coming up with reasons not to... I get the same thing. I'm trying not to listen to myself and also ask positive questions like "How do I ...", so that my mind helps me come up with ways to approach. It works!

* about being able to tell if she is really approachable: I'm trying to use body language, eye contact and reactions to find see if they are approachable.

With the body language I noticed that many approachable girls give you proximity, open body language etc. I sometimes see girls do something weird to try to help me approach - for example, yesterday I got out of the subway train and got eye contact from a nice blond girl. She then turned her back to the tracks and faced me for a split second [ something subtle, but not normal ]. When she noticed I wasn't going to say anything she quickly walked away and parked herself at a distance at the same platform. I know... I should have said something but noticing it is already huge progress for me

About eye contact - I'm assuming eye contact is a green light. The bad thing is that I get most from girls passing me on the street I'm not daring enough to stop them.

The last thing is reactions - say if I'm passing by in a narrow passageway I would touch her shoulder, say something neutral like excuse me and watch her reaction carefully.

Good luck!