[sir_seducer]

it has been observed that needy guy finishes last.


some guys act Non needy in order to play the game with girls...but some are actual non needy..because they are finding sex everywhere.

my question is...how to be remain non needy when you know that your existence and happiness is bound with women or pussy.?

[sylo]

Fake it til you make it buddy. No one is ever 100% confident (non needy) 100% of the time. What I do is I bring to light everything I am feeling insecure about at that particular moment. I dont try to lie to myself or fool myself, I tell myself "wow, I am off today" or "my hair looks like shit" or whatever it is you are worried about. Then I tell myself thank God that women are attracted to attractive qualities; like confidence, individualism and all the other sht this forum has hammered out, and NOT neccissarily stuff you can not control, like looks etc.

[Riker]

I figure working on inner game is something you should do. Do things for you and not to get girls and you´ll get girls eventually because you´ll be improving youself so much. I know indirectly you´ll feel like you´re doing it just for the girls but stuff like working out, learning a language, learning to dance, or whatever kind of selfimprovement will become something that you do just for you and thats when the non-neediness flows through.

Yea... so I should take my own advice cause after just breaking up with a yr and a half relationship I really want to fuck someone and I feel needy as fuck lol

[Gmac]

Rules.

Don't call/text the same night of a date, wait till after 1 pm the next day, 2:1 golden rule of texting, etc.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/07/08/t...s-of-poon/ -- all you need.

[D. Goodnuts]

Women and pussy are condiments to the big cheeseburger in life-----individual sovereignty.

I think that's the philosophical foundation of what Roosh has built here. G Manifesto appears to espouse these principles as well.

The blueprint is here. Keep reading.

[hydrogonian]

When you find yourself not caring about a girl, at all, then you will be non-needy. Then you will get laid, grasshopper.

A good indication is that she is calling you for the first month or two, without you ever calling her. And she has to work for the first date. But it has to be sincere on your part. If your faking the aloofness, it wont work.

[sir_seducer]

faking aloofness which i get all the time....but how to get real aloofness?....ofcourse you cannot be 100 non-needy...or can u?

[hydrogonian]

(05-02-2011 11:54 AM)sir_seducer Wrote:  

faking aloofness which i get all the time....but how to get real aloofness?....ofcourse you cannot be 100 non-needy...or can u?

Definitely. Start out with women that you feel are below you. Seriously. Are you not really aloof with them? See if you can attract them to where they are calling you. Then fuck a few. Then slowly build up to a higher and higher quality of woman. Your self confidence, self worth, and self-concept of your value (inner game) will gradually increase as you get more experience. But if you jump in the game with women who you feel have higher value than you, you will not get the experience needed to truly increase your self confidence. These women will just break you down further.

You are talking about serious inner game stuff here. There are no shortcuts. You have to start at the bottom and develop gradually.

[sir_seducer]

correct me if i am wrong.

when you game a girl without caring what would be the outcome = non-neediness.

when you are caring too much about the outcome and you fear loosing her = needy game.

is that what neediness and non needy behaviour is ????

[Selva]

I always feel like I sound like I'm bragging or whatever when I make a comment, but I have worked hard to get where I am and I only tell this stuff because you can get here too. That being said...

Last night I had a new girl sitting in my lap and we were making out in the park beside the beach. My phone rang and it was the woman I was with Thursday night calling to make a date for later today. We worked out the logistics of our date tonight then I finished the call and resumed making out with the other girl.

You want to be non-needy? Don't concentrate on only one girl, try to get as many irons in the fire as possible. Don't hide the other girls from each other, let them know that you are the man and you have women attracted to you and you have choices. If you are truly a higher value man the women will start chasing you and will put up with an extraordinary amount of your bullshit to be the one who is with you, including pausing a makeout session for you to set up a date with another woman.

Work hard, get your inner game correct and make it happen.

[gringoed]

The best way to appear non-needy is to just BE non-needy. If you have other options you don't need to flaunt it, the girls will just tell. When it rains, it pours.

[Chad Daring]

Its really easy for a lot of the senior members here to just say "dont do it" But I know where Seducer is coming from. Being new to all of this I constantly catch myself about to do something needy or beta, and I have to forcibly stop myself.

My best advice is to stop and review any move you're about to make when it comes to a girl you're trying to bang. If you're about to send a text, type it out, stop and read it over. Does it sound needy? Can you fix it if it does? When was the last time you contacted her? When was the last time she contacted you?

When I'm with a girl in person I stop every so often (especially when she goes to the bathroom or to smoke or something) and I'll go over the last hour or so if interaction and determine if I need to change anything. Am I leaning in? Am I agreeing or yes-manning to much?

Just keep asking yourself questions, constantly. Its like school work, you have to "study" and repetitiously go over the material in order to ingrain it into your brain.

[MiXX]

(05-02-2011 05:37 PM)Chad Daring Wrote:  

Just keep asking yourself questions, constantly. Its like school work, you have to "study" and repetitiously go over the material in order to ingrain it into your brain.

Or, a much simpler, and more effective question: "What would Mixx do?"



Mixx

[Kickb]

you should make some wwmd bracelets. We could all be fitted with them and anytime one of us is at a loss of what to do in a certain situation pertaining to poon, we would look down at the bracelet and find the strength and wisdom to succeed.

maybe you could infuse minerals in them, minerals that increases vitality and boldness in our interactions with women

[Excelsior]

As a needy guy starting off you have four primary options.

1. Hobbies. This needs to be done no matter what, and is the most crucial thing for any developing guy to focus on. To quote Roissy:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/10/18/why-so-serious/

Quote:

Women love two things: Passionate men who pursue their mission(s) in life with single-minded focus, and easily distracted men whose interests and hobbies are capable of diverting their attention from the wiles of women...Moral of this post: Get a hobby, any hobby (except video gaming or Civil War reenacting), and throw yourself into it. Make sure she occasionally sees your brow sweating with passionate single-mindedness. You don’t even have to be that good at it. Her libido will respond right on cue.

Find a mission that has nothing to do with video games or impressing women and everything to do with your passion. Invest in it. This will take time and effort, but if you pick something you actually do like9which is the point), it will be worth it.
The end result for you will be a more relaxed, confident, secure, self-assured and content persona around women. You will appear to be less needy because you've put your energies in another place that has little to do with women.
That is when women come.

2. This strategy involves a bit of a moral compromise(at least for most Americans) and some cash, but it is a pretty useful cheat code to use: paid sex.
Yes, I'm going to go there. I know this is a forum that emphasizes game first and I do not expect this strategy to be widely embraced, but it must be mentioned as its effectiveness cannot be denied.

Part of the issue with neediness is a lack of an abundance mentality. You simply have not had sexual access to a lot of women, never mind a decent number of reasonably attractive ones. Unfortunately, the most sure way to hold a strong, non-needy abundance mentality is to gain this sexual access. Guys who have been in the pants of many a 7 or 8 are less needy when they meet and attempt to game a new 7 or 8(never mind girls lower on the scale).

Why? They've been there and done that. Sexual access is less valuable to them because they'e had a decent amount of it and can thus calm down a bit when searching for more. Obviously a new guy can't quite maintain this type of mentality reliably because sex is new and rare for him, and therefore he values it more (read: needy). Whereas the experienced man can go there with confidence(he's done it before, nothing special) the greener prospect is slowed because he hasn't been there and isn't sure of how he'll get there(never mind the intimidation factor).

What is one of the easiest ways to build an abundance mentality artificially? Escorts are basically a cheat code, allowing you as an inexperienced guy to get together with solid 8's and 9's(women of that quality are not difficult to find at most agencies).

This is essentially a short cut to improving your inner game, which is necessary before you can run any serious game of any other kind. When you've had several legitimate 8s and 9s in bed performing enthusiastically for you, the neediness and enhanced value you put on sex will start to fade. This will show in the way you treat average girls on the street-once you've seen and been with a number of seriously attractive women, it starts to show on you. Women can sense it, and your neediness will be significantly eroded.

Think about it for a second: you've been in bed with several model quality women who've done just about any sexual act you can imagine and performed enthusiastically. an abundance mentality is the natural result. How do you think you would feel? You're not going to put much weight into your interaction with the average 7 on the street when you have just had a couple of 9's in your bed and can have more in the not too far future. You're not going to tolerate attitude from a plain jane when you can have a compliant model for a weekend GFE. You'll naturally be more aloof and confident sexually around these girls because you've been there and done that with women as attractive if not much more so than them. It is the ultimate cure for neediness, and also by far the most direct solution.

Combine this action with suggestion number 1, and you have a decent formula for overall improvement.

Granted, you can go other routes as suggested by the guys here, and they do work(working hard to improve inner game, study material, fake it til you make it, etc), but these are the more time consuming ways. You'll get where you want to go, but it will take longer than the strategy I suggested above.

What I've proposed essentially amounts to a shortcut, albeit a somewhat expensive one (though one could contend that the average LTR for an average American beta with your run-of-the-mill American girl is about the same price as an escort on a yearly retainer, but I digress).

Travel adds a whole new dimension to this. With an income in excess of $2000 a month, you can live like a playboy in many parts of the world. Save up a few grand and play the 3 week millionaire in southeast Asia sometime and you'll see what I mean. Men who are a lot fatter, older, uglier and needier than you are having fiestas over there at very little cost, with many even finding a host of cute young women seeking their old, tired asses out as long term partners. If they can do it, I'm sure you can.

3. An addendum to the end of the last point regarding travel. Go to the right places, learn the language and the culture and you may find a dating market far more favorable to you, with women who desire you enough to allow you to skip the entirety of my second point and date normally because you will have so many options. This option requires a lot of research (if you choose an east asian destination, for example, you'll need to learn the local language and gain a very solid understanding of the culture, which is very much not our own here in the west), but it can work and has worked EXTREMELY well for lesser men than yourself.

4. Your final option: Stay here as you are, study like a mad man in virtual celibacy for a while and eventually find some limited success with the girls.

Your choice. Make of it what you will.

[gringochileno]

What worked for me was to internalize one very simple mindset: I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck. Say it out loud, repeat it in your head, write it down, approach like a motherfucker until you're completely indifferent to rejection. Whatever you need to do, do it until really believe it. Once you have that down, just go out and fuck with hot bitches for shits and giggles and I've found that most of the correct mindset/vibe for game comes naturally after that. Truly not giving a shit plus a decent bag of tricks accumulated from experience doing approaches and learning from other players is all you need.

If you're having trouble visualizing this, the next time you talk to a girl imagine that you're preselected out the ass, say you just had a threesome 20 minutes ago. When you're texting a girl think of what you would send if you were getting blown right now. Would you give her false compliments and buy her drinks? Would you reply to her every text right away? Fuck no, you don't give a shit because you're already getting laid and one more girl in your harem has little value to you. Acting like a guy who has tons of girls competing for his cock is what gets the hamster wheel spinning.

[sir_seducer]

(05-02-2011 06:27 PM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  

As a needy guy starting off you have four primary options.

1. Hobbies. This needs to be done no matter what, and is the most crucial thing for any developing guy to focus on. To quote Roissy:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/10/18/why-so-serious/

Quote:

Women love two things: Passionate men who pursue their mission(s) in life with single-minded focus, and easily distracted men whose interests and hobbies are capable of diverting their attention from the wiles of women...Moral of this post: Get a hobby, any hobby (except video gaming or Civil War reenacting), and throw yourself into it. Make sure she occasionally sees your brow sweating with passionate single-mindedness. You don’t even have to be that good at it. Her libido will respond right on cue.

Find a mission that has nothing to do with video games or impressing women and everything to do with your passion. Invest in it. This will take time and effort, but if you pick something you actually do like9which is the point), it will be worth it.
The end result for you will be a more relaxed, confident, secure, self-assured and content persona around women. You will appear to be less needy because you've put your energies in another place that has little to do with women.
That is when women come.

2. This strategy involves a bit of a moral compromise(at least for most Americans) and some cash, but it is a pretty useful cheat code to use: paid sex.
Yes, I'm going to go there. I know this is a forum that emphasizes game first and I do not expect this strategy to be widely embraced, but it must be mentioned as its effectiveness cannot be denied.

Part of the issue with neediness is a lack of an abundance mentality. You simply have not had sexual access to a lot of women, never mind a decent number of reasonably attractive ones. Unfortunately, the most sure way to hold a strong, non-needy abundance mentality is to gain this sexual access. Guys who have been in the pants of many a 7 or 8 are less needy when they meet and attempt to game a new 7 or 8(never mind girls lower on the scale).

Why? They've been there and done that. Sexual access is less valuable to them because they'e had a decent amount of it and can thus calm down a bit when searching for more. Obviously a new guy can't quite maintain this type of mentality reliably because sex is new and rare for him, and therefore he values it more (read: needy). Whereas the experienced man can go there with confidence(he's done it before, nothing special) the greener prospect is slowed because he hasn't been there and isn't sure of how he'll get there(never mind the intimidation factor).

What is one of the easiest ways to build an abundance mentality artificially? Escorts are basically a cheat code, allowing you as an inexperienced guy to get together with solid 8's and 9's(women of that quality are not difficult to find at most agencies).

This is essentially a short cut to improving your inner game, which is necessary before you can run any serious game of any other kind. When you've had several legitimate 8s and 9s in bed performing enthusiastically for you, the neediness and enhanced value you put on sex will start to fade. This will show in the way you treat average girls on the street-once you've seen and been with a number of seriously attractive women, it starts to show on you. Women can sense it, and your neediness will be significantly eroded.

Think about it for a second: you've been in bed with several model quality women who've done just about any sexual act you can imagine and performed enthusiastically. an abundance mentality is the natural result. How do you think you would feel? You're not going to put much weight into your interaction with the average 7 on the street when you have just had a couple of 9's in your bed and can have more in the not too far future. You're not going to tolerate attitude from a plain jane when you can have a compliant model for a weekend GFE. You'll naturally be more aloof and confident sexually around these girls because you've been there and done that with women as attractive if not much more so than them. It is the ultimate cure for neediness, and also by far the most direct solution.

Combine this action with suggestion number 1, and you have a decent formula for overall improvement.

Granted, you can go other routes as suggested by the guys here, and they do work(working hard to improve inner game, study material, fake it til you make it, etc), but these are the more time consuming ways. You'll get where you want to go, but it will take longer than the strategy I suggested above.

What I've proposed essentially amounts to a shortcut, albeit a somewhat expensive one (though one could contend that the average LTR for an average American beta with your run-of-the-mill American girl is about the same price as an escort on a yearly retainer, but I digress).

Travel adds a whole new dimension to this. With an income in excess of $2000 a month, you can live like a playboy in many parts of the world. Save up a few grand and play the 3 week millionaire in southeast Asia sometime and you'll see what I mean. Men who are a lot fatter, older, uglier and needier than you are having fiestas over there at very little cost, with many even finding a host of cute young women seeking their old, tired asses out as long term partners. If they can do it, I'm sure you can.

3. An addendum to the end of the last point regarding travel. Go to the right places, learn the language and the culture and you may find a dating market far more favorable to you, with women who desire you enough to allow you to skip the entirety of my second point and date normally because you will have so many options. This option requires a lot of research (if you choose an east asian destination, for example, you'll need to learn the local language and gain a very solid understanding of the culture, which is very much not our own here in the west), but it can work and has worked EXTREMELY well for lesser men than yourself.

4. Your final option: Stay here as you are, study like a mad man in virtual celibacy for a while and eventually find some limited success with the girls.

Your choice. Make of it what you will.

Great POST. !!!

[Chase]

Good points here. What also helps is meditation. "Awareness" by Osho is a good book, for example. Be constantly aware of yourself. Calm your mind. Simply observe your mind. Be clear. Be in the moment. As a by-effect, approach anxiety goes down, as well.